January 13, 2018
Life got real and smacked me in the face.
I’m here expressing that life got REALLY real in a matter of days. It felt like ‘a tornado met a volcano’ and it was just a ball going downhill without slowing down. But here I am, finally standing up (sorta) and fed up with this situation. It’s time for a change. But how? Living with Anxiety AND Depression. Simple tasks of just cleaning up or cooking become horribly difficult. It’s tough to get out of bed. It’s tough to be awake. It’s tough to be. But I am blessed enough to have an amazing man in my life who brings a glimmer of light into my darkest days. I know I’m being unreasonably crabby. But you see, everything around me is falling apart. I may look fine behind this Snapchat filter but I’m crashing.
Then Life Got EVEN MORE REAL
Something needs to happen soon. Like NOW. Depression is low when Anxiety runs HIGH. Moves need to be made. I’m in a bad spot and if I don’t become pro-active now things are going to just get rough. So here I am. I’m trying to turn it around. I am in the 27-year-old questionable life-altering year. I lost my job back in June. It was abrupt. I took it bad. I was already suffering from anxiety/depression and this just amplified it by about a million. Then one of my favorite musical artist Chester Bennington went down his dark path and ended his life. I couldn’t bear the pain. Like everything else that I can’t bare, I block it out. Well. I have dealt with the grief and its time to move on. It’s time to better myself. It’s time to better my mental health and maybe inspire someone else while in the process.
I am on a fitness/health improvement journey. I will follow fitblrs/tumblrs but I very rarely see just a support group based on helping people with mental health struggles. Let us be more open. Let us talk about it. Let us have more shoulders to lean on. Let us talk. Let us heal.
My anxiety tells me, don’t put yourself out there, no one cares. But I can’t dare to think that if for a slight chance I can reach out to someone and brighten their day knowing someone else is with you, someone else understands. You are not alone. You will push through. We will all push through.
