things called jazz that are not jazz

now a BBC Radio 4 documentary!

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hate to break it to you..

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“Integrate JAZZ into an overall disease and pest management strategy whenever fungicide use is necessary”

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disappointingly doesn’t transform into a Honda Jazz

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NATO military manoevres near to Russian border

NATO Prepares for War with Russia? Operation “Steadfast Jazz” and the Perpetual Cold War

“The exercise revolves around a “fictitious scenario in a fictitious country,” but it is not a stretch to say that the exercise simulates a Russian invasion of Poland.”

Although perhaps it was jazz after all:

(hat tip: Piotr)

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nothing says jazz like a mid-80s spreadsheet, especially a terrible one

guess what happens in the advert..:

”One of the worst business decisions I ever made. It was just like setting fire to bales of hundred-dollar bills.” Mitch Kapor, founder of Lotus 

I emailed Mitch Kapor. Amazingly he wrote back:

Russell,

In naming Jazz, we were playing off the name Lotus Symphony, which was integrated software for the IBM PC.  Symphony was named by our marketing department and ad agency and it was the least bad of hundreds of suggested names.  Pedestrian.  

I thought Jazz, as a name, reflected well the lighter and more artistic character of the Macintosh as opposed to the PC.  Sadly, the product itself was not outstanding.  It was trying to do too much.  The Mac was at its nadir as well, which didn’t help, so it was an ignominious commercial failure.  

Jazz was launched with great fanfare through a series of expensive television ads, about $7,000,000, as I recall. Total waste of money, 

Regards,

Mitch

Hat tip: yoz: 

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How do you earn three hundred million pounds from Jazz?

You sell one of these:

"Designed by Zaha Hadid for German shipbuilder Blohm + Voss, the £300 million Jazz super-yacht will be the biggest and most expensive item ever sold at Selfridges."

     It is called Jazz and not, as its appearance might suggest, Phlegm

    Here it is with its sister ship Skiffle

    Thelonious Monk always travelled everywhere in his superyacht.

    Lester Young had that exact sofa

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What better name could there be for something that invasively penetrates your ear canal?

"We can also engrave this Jazz for security and personalisation."

 The head nods up and down in time-honoured jazz fashion

 Comes in three amazing jazz colours. 

Hat tip: Robert Abel 

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That lucrative jazz-loving diabetic market is obviously worth going for

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Jazz With Mesh Appeal

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choice of blue or grey but both are equally jazz

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as worn by Wayne Shorter

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easyJazz

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Nothing expresses the freedom and artistry of jazz more than this Schlage Keypad Entry Auto-Lock

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"Jazz the fragrance is masculine, virile, sexy, fun and forceful. Black and white come together, male and female, a classic scent with notes of improvisation."