Things don't fly

Pancake Assistant. Four legbeards attached to a bodybeard. Holistic metal. Zodiac sign: Pineapple upside-down cake

[thingsdontfly]

oh mom, every day you tell me that you do not understand my maci styles, but have you considered that i do not understand your mom styles? you do not understand much maci mom, you are a manic pixie dream girl by night, and an apathetic goblin delusion woman even later in the night that's not quite right maci mom, after dinner you are the cool girlfriend in a twee vintage dress who gives away free slices and likes watching people play videogames maci my wardrobe is 70% blood donation t-shirts and wifebeaters, but i'll hear you out mom when the bars close, you're all candlelit rituals in gas station bathrooms and shoplifting all the scissors from walmart to make your scissor web maci i'm not the goblin, you're the goblin mom you paint triangles on the walls and obsess with form and shape. you consort with pointed creatures who walk on all fours until they reach the cornfield edge and then stand up and run like men maci you're the only weird-shaped pointy creature i need in my life mom i'll be in my basket until i know it's the real you maci that's uncalled for mom i'll know it's you by the free slices

[thingsdontfly]

look it's the king in calico herself! hi maci! also barry! hi barry! oh mom you don't actually like barry, you only pity him. we tolerate sad socks for their novelty but we only truly rejoice in the perfect golden flowers that the system was designed to protect maci i like barry, even if he is shaped like a trashbag full of noodles but mom on some level he is damaged. anyone would prefer something soft and sweet who has been fed kindness from the day they were born, and poofed out like a pure and gentle marshmallow with no bones.  maci, barry is more like a marshmallow than you are mom barry has a big old hambone running down the middle of his marshmallow. you cannot deny that society worships the triumph of the nutured. anyone else's success is just a sideshow. maci you're the only sideshow i need mom you know we only save the pretty ones and aren't you glad about that, my decorative dustcatching maci? mom maybe one day you can join me among the first class citizens maci i'll quit my job and we can be decorative together

[thingsdontfly]

maci you are constant disappointment mom i'm not a disappointment. i'm a dirty botanist. that really is not a legitimate life choice maci mom i'm overly invested in pollination. i'm stamening the pistils. i'm sticking anthers where they don't belong. i'm going to be here a while and you're free to stay but you don't have to maci no one does that mom why do you think they call them garden hoes? maci i'll leave you to your cotyledons whoa mom i'm not ready for that kind of commitment

[thingsdontfly]

maci did you die in a blanket fort? what a way to go maci, well done mom i'm conserving energy for when i journey out to realize my political ambitions oh maci are you going to make america sassy again? no mom, i'm going to make america pick a favorite dinosaur and actually commit this time. i'm going to make america call your ex and cry alot. i'm going to make america conceal lobbed antennae and hide secret wings under baggy sweatshirts and never let them stretch and find out if they can fly or not maci i would conceal you under my baggy sweatshirt but you would look like a terrifying chestburster mom i will make america sneak furtive glances at your secret iridescent beetle gossamers through mirrors and around corners and never be sure if they see anything or not have at it, my fancy iridescent maci

[thingsdontfly]

what's with the soft focus maci?

oh mom you're in heaven. also we're about to start making out maci you don't have lips mom if i don't have lips then how do i make B sounds? maci it is a mystery mom the only mystery is how you got lucky enough to catch a glimpse of my tender lavender underbelly. poke it and it poofs homey whiffs of garden spices, earthy soil and filtered afternoon sun maci your free slices are very wholesome mom my free slices are the rough timber by which you will build your cabin and surround it with raised gardens, in which we will hide out and griddle whole grain pancakes, and also make out maci i will not join you in your free slices in a field of flowers lifestyle mom i will leave you to your empty lipless urban existence completely bereft of making out and b sounds 

[thingsdontfly]

oh stormy has your teenage rebellion finally arrived? rebellion....is...babies? stormy are you sneaking around and getting high, but in the most adorably literal way possible? high...is...babies? stormy how high are you right now? look how high you are! ....babies? 

[thingsdontfly]

mom, look i'm mom. i'm basking in a literal heap of failure and ruined quilt batting. i'm rolling around in a metaphorical representation of aborted ventures. all things that end in their beginning end here. your life is a big cotton-poly blend heap of things that kissed life on the mouth, and were eaten maci you can appropriate my heap. i don't mind. it's payback for how you appropriated my entire culture. i appropriated your entire budget for this session mom maci you don't have culture, you don't need that and also you aren't authorized to make fiscal decisions mom everyone knows the Maci House holds the purse strings. i have pipelines to build. and hype lines. and high speed hype lines maci you just want to build a hype train you got me mom. all aboard the maci hype train choo choo maci. choo choo

[thingsdontfly]

oh maci, have you finally succumbed to your cushions disease? "really mom? what's a little cushioning between friends? don't make this weird mom" oh maci, do you have a little cushion for the pushin' except people shouldn't push cats because that would be animal abuse? "no mom i have a little cushion for my little sofa that i put between my little end tables in my collection of perplexingly undersized furniture that i like to roam through like a giant orange fairy tale ogre. but don't make this weird mom" maci you don't have a doll house "mom the space in the angles where the walls meet is my doll house and i spend alot of time getting it minimalist ikea modern just the way i like it. don't make this weird mom" maci would it make it weird if i tell you i approve of your decorative sensibilities and penchant for clean lines? "mom you're overstepping"

[catsbeaversandducks]

The One About Spring

Oh, the spring shedding! 

By ©Catsu The Cat

[thingsdontfly]

oh maci is that the face you make when you're a skinny cat? "no mom this is the face i make when i hear a call on the edge of my awareness" maci do you hear me calling you an elegant vase of a cat? "no mom i feel a bare reverberation and a sense a that it meant something to me, once" maci are your acres of neckfloof attuned to the slightest ripple? "no mom i am attuned to alternities bulging in and retreating but never breaching, leaving only passing thoughts of pink sheets in grey green light to the sound of rain and the sense that it is cold now but safe in the belief that it will soon be snugger and warmer" i think you're pretty snug maci "mom i agree but i forgot what we were talking about"

[thingsdontfly]

why hello my fancy perching cat "oh mom do you feel bad that any boat with you in it is a boatload of incompetence?" maci i don't go in boats "mom are you jealous that any boat with me in it is a boatload of panache?" maci it's not that i dislike boats, it just doesn't come up much "mom any boat with me in it is a boatload of good news. any boat with you is a boatload of trifling drudgery" maci i would ride a boat with you "mom any boat with me is dripping in sweetness and tiny treats like delicious chocolate enemies and other things humans like. any boat with you is the clear concussive realization that you are reaping the bitter fruit of every mundanity you've elected and syrupy adventure you've avoided out of fear of the unknown" maci that whole enterprise sounds sticky and you are the only unknown that i need "mom come ride my breakfast boat with me" maci i will brunch into the unknown with you

[thingsdontfly]

"i feel so close to you mom" sorry maci, i can scoot away "no mom, i am feeling unprecedented intimacy with you" i don't want that maci "mom i'm ready to share my deep dark secret with you, my secret family pancake recipe" that's okay maci, i don't cook "mom the secret ingredient is dickings. hot dickings" maci no. i didn't know you were oriented towards dickings "hot lady dickings mom" i didn't know dickings came in that flavor maci "oh mom is there any other kind?"

[thingsdontfly]

"mom we need to introduce some bdsm elements into our relationship" pfft what maci? you have no idea what you're talking about "no mom it's perfect. it involves keeping secrets which i'm good at, and it involves acting and talking like you're wearing a human skin like a costume, which you're good at" that's not even close maci "mom the trick is neither of us are very strong but we are like two finely tuned gears that fit perfectly and create a truly metal war machine. we synergize. teamwork makes the dream work" maci how about we compromise and i go get my cat beatin' stick? "mom then you'll be a single lonely gear and i'll sew you to my hat to complete my steampunk aesthetic" that's okay maci. i'll be your lonely gear and you can be my fuzzy handcuffs "oh mom as soon as we are born we are travelling toward our final destiny as fuzzy handcuffs"

[thingsdontfly]

oh maci are you baggage? "mom i'm a fancy packing cat" maci are you something small and loathy that follows me where ever i go? "no mom i'm soft and sweet and i'm leaving to foreshadow your character development. when your fancy packing cat leave you know it's about to go down" goodbye maci. it will be much less fancy without you

[thingsdontfly]

oh stormy i'm getting a robot that can do what you do "...is...robot....babies?" stormy, i'm replacing you with a googly eyed robot in mint condition, unsullied by human error "googly...babies?" stormy, the new you is a robot with endearing silly quirks and it will be the thread that holds the family together "holding...babies?" stormy, the robot friend will be innocent and yummy and never lurk in boxes like an awful crab "...crabs...are...babies?" stormy, no one will ever notice the difference "holding...babies?"

[thingsdontfly]

hey there dead-eyed sweater child "hi mom. i didn't see you there. i was remembering other rainy days like today, as i prepared for battle" maci any battle you were in couldn't have been much of a battle "mom my commander said i didn't have to fight. what about the baby? she asked me. the baby will fight too, i replied with my strong jawline" err, maci? "mom who knew that in such a sweeping war across space and time, their defeat would come down to a mistake as simple as cornering Pineapple Comet and bringing a gun to a cinderblock fight" you do put all your points in improvised weapon maci, but i don't approve of how grimdark your urban magepunk fantasy is getting "mom with their defeat came no victory, only desaturation. by iterations we leaked pain from the world but also color. the price we paid for lowering the bodycount was the glass fields and metal fish and a future where my bloodline thrives at our ancestral home in the poison dragon bogs" you wouldn't actually like a bog maci "and you wouldn't like getting sucked into a demon portal mom, but i made sacrifices and now it is time for you to do the same"

[thingsdontfly]

what is this nonsense maci? "mom it's my duty as the christian single in your area. your local christian single is responsible for providing modesty to the entire region" i don't care about the christian singles in my area maci "mom the christian singles in your area want to meet you. we all find you very concerning" maci i don't talk about religion, sex, or politics with cats "mom we're feral for jesus and we watch you in the night with glowing eyes and patter feet" maci you can be on my butt or you can be scary but you can't be both "don't make me compromise my values mom"