Things That Cause Autism

This is a blog that lists all the things that cause autism. All the research is done at Yale University in the Autism Research Department, which is located next to the Frank Pepe. Note: This blog is satire. I am an autistic individual making fun of news articles posting about potential causes of autism. Also, allistics: This is a blog by an autisitc person that was made for autistic people to have a little bit of fun. please stop asking me for advice on your autistic relative or friend. I'm not here for you, I'm here for my fellow autistic people, whether they are diagnosed professionally or self-diagnosed. FAQ Support Me on Ko-fi

[fuckyeahantsandgrapes]

there going to carry the beedle back to their busty ant queen then the queen will probably fuck it i hope

[thingsthatcauseautism]

We've come so far that we can sell autism in a cave. However, I don't think the Sensory Cave is FDA approved. (The store appears to be the Autism Community Store in Denver, CO).

[thingsthatcauseautism]

[image description: a giant Pikachu out in a mall. It has a black sign with Japanese writing on it.]

You would not believe the autistic energy emanating off this. I believe it can be mined for autistic resources...

[autisticmight]

he will do a thing Once for Thirty Yen

[thingsthatcauseautism]

Now, while this is a very serious science lab where we only do research on the causes of autism, since ADHD is comorbid with autism, I felt that we at the Yale Lab of Studying Autism Causes were compelled-no, obligated, to inform you that some guy I know told me that ADHD isn't real!

Turns out, it's because humans and stuff are made from energy and so all that ADHD? that's just energy in the universe making you experience what we identify as ADHD but it's not ADHD because it's actually energy. according to Tate Bentley*, the guy I know, if you want to know more about this groundbreaking revelation, just read quantum physics. just read about it. just pick up a book on quantum physics, read it, and you'll understand everything.

(srs: this guy actually said this to me and i was like, "did you just ask me, a person with adhd, to read a book?")

[thingsthatcauseautism]

[image description: a reply from @kingforaday that reads "i guess everything can be connected back to physics, but that's not relevant to a discussion about ADHD. People are weird."]

Are you sure quantum physics isn't relevant to a discussion about ADHD? Are you a quantum physicist? maybe you should read about quantum physics just to be sure... (/s)

[thingsthatcauseautism]

Now, while this is a very serious science lab where we only do research on the causes of autism, since ADHD is comorbid with autism, I felt that we at the Yale Lab of Studying Autism Causes were compelled-no, obligated, to inform you that some guy I know told me that ADHD isn't real!

Turns out, it's because humans and stuff are made from energy and so all that ADHD? that's just energy in the universe making you experience what we identify as ADHD but it's not ADHD because it's actually energy. according to Tate Bentley*, the guy I know, if you want to know more about this groundbreaking revelation, just read quantum physics. just read about it. just pick up a book on quantum physics, read it, and you'll understand everything.

(srs: this guy actually said this to me and i was like, "did you just ask me, a person with adhd, to read a book?")

[neurosciencenews]

Acetaminophen Use During Pregnancy May Contribute to ADHD and Other Developmental Disorders

A 25-year study identifies a link between the use of acetaminophen during pregnancy and an increased risk of developmental disorders, including ADHD, autism, and decreased IQ in children.

[popcorn-joints]

@thingsthatcauseautism there’s another

[thingsthatcauseautism]

[image description for OP: a pregnant person is holding their pregnant stomach. Their face is not in frame]

If we leave it up to the allistics, the solution will be to just not experience pain. Just unfeel it!

[thingsthatcauseautism]

A follow up to the article, and you can show this to whoever you need to/whoever needs to see it:

The best autism "treatment" is actually loving your child and listening/paying attention to them because if you actually let go of societal standards and expectations, and start keeping in mind what makes your kid happy and what makes your kid upset, you'll have the answers right there to make all of your lives easier

[thingsthatcauseautism]

New cause of autism!!!

(Image description: screen from the The Telegraph. The headline reads “autism can be prevented by teaching parents how to interact with their babies, study finds”. The tag line reads, “two thirds of cases could be solved via a video consultation, showing how to interpretation child’s all-important early efforts to communicate”.)

Turns out my nephew got autism because I tried to get him to play Ace Attorney at age 3 and then asked him his opinions on the character development and that is not the correct interaction to have had with him 😔

*** notes about the actual article (tw: ableism)

I wouldn't seek the article out because you'll give them clicks, but to sum up the article: it pushes teaching your child masking from an early age, which is... not prevention at all... great journalism

[thingsthatcauseautism]

sorry, had to delete a post i posted early

tumblr is giving me timezone problems haha.

[thingsthatcauseautism]

[image description: a person’s eyes are glowing white. Their hand is pointed toward the screen and is also glowing white at the palm prepared to shoot a beam. At the top of the image is “Autisimification Beam” written in impact font]

A few days late, some tweaks were needed, but good news! The Autismification Beam is ready for Autism Acceptance Month. No better way to accept autism than by accepting it into your body in beam form! And our intern Axel is more than happy to beam it into you all!

[thingsthatcauseautism]

[image description: a book titled “Sincerely, Your Autistic Child: What People on the Autism Spectrum Wish Their Parents Knew About Growing Up, Acceptance, and Identity.” Underneath the title and tag, it says “Winner of the Autism Society of America Outstanding Literary Work of the Year”. Underneath that it says “Edited by Emily Paige Ballou, Sharon daVanport and Morénike Giwa Onaiwu”.]

Incoming serious post:

I’ve been waiting to announce this for a while, but if you don’t know, back in 2018, I was reached out to to speak at the United Nations back in 2018 about the abuse that autistic girls and women face. I was recently approached by AWN to write a piece for a new book, Sincerely Your Autistic Child! It’s an anthology of things that autistic individuals wish their parents knew or things that have helped them growing up with autism. Some authors also go into the different overlaps of autism with gender and sexuality, and autism and race, too.

I’m so glad to have been apart of this and I’m excited for this to come out. I know that I wrote about things that were important for me growing up that I wasn’t able to express to my parents clearly, and it’ll nice to be heard and to at least help provide a perspective to parents that they may not be getting. You can preorder the book at the link above, but you can also find it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Penguin Random House (this site has even more places to preorder).

[thingsthatcauseautism]

[image description: a carp being held]

Oh, hey, a carp!

Hmm, what’s that? Come closer?

[image description: the carp has been zoomed in on so only three quarters of it can be seen]

Okay, what is- oh, closer still? Okay

[image description: we have zoomed in on the carp even closer so only half of it can be seen]

Okay, so what do you w- oh just a bit closer? Alright...

[image description: we are zoomed in on just the carp’s face and gills]

Oh? Just a tiny bit closer?

[image description: carp’s face is in fully zoomed in on]

Ok, what’s up?

...

Uh huh?

...

Oh? Oh, word?

Whoa, okay... thanks.

Our little carp buddy here says they doesn’t know anything about the carp meme on twitter but if you got this far down, you just got a shit ton of autism.

[thingsthatcauseautism]

Ah, let’s see what the normies think causes autism this week:

[image description: article comment reads “Women who are deficient in vitamin D are more likely to have autistic children. Low vitamin D linked to autism behaviours.

Vitamin D is associated with levels of both serotonin, important for the mode regulation, and melatonin, which regulate our sleep.

Also vitamin C deficiency is one of the main causes of autism. Vitamin C is needed.”]

So, uh, go outside or something and eat an orange! No, no... TWO oranges!

[luckycavy117]

Excuse you I eat metric tons of citrus and spend hours outside and I'm still autistic

[weatherman667]

It affects your children, Karen.

[thingsthatcauseautism]

The original person’s own logic implies that it could be fixed by consuming more vitamins so the joke stands, you downer

[thingsthatcauseautism]

[image description: a real puppy winking and their paw at the screen]

This dog points at autistic people

[thingsthatcauseautism]

Ah, let’s see what the normies think causes autism this week:

[image description: article comment reads “Women who are deficient in vitamin D are more likely to have autistic children. Low vitamin D linked to autism behaviours.

Vitamin D is associated with levels of both serotonin, important for the mode regulation, and melatonin, which regulate our sleep.

Also vitamin C deficiency is one of the main causes of autism. Vitamin C is needed.”]

So, uh, go outside or something and eat an orange! No, no... TWO oranges!

[thingsthatcauseautism]

I went outside after having an OJ with my pancakes and I’m allistic now!

[thingsthatcauseautism]

[image description: comment from virusjuhh reads: “I take vitamin D and C pills everyday. Still autistic]

@virusjuhh That’s because you’re taking them in the wrong order. You have to take vitamin C and D pills. It’s purely alphabetical.

[thingsthatcauseautism]

so non-blog related post, but i was possibly thinking of running an autism vlog, specifically about living in japan but also just general goings.

would there be a need for that? even just a vlog by someone with autism

[thingsthatcauseautism]

okay, that’s fairly positive. i’m gonna consider doing so, i’m gonna try to see how it should be tailored, and how to go about creating it

[thingsthatcauseautism]

Okay so I’m very close to figuring this all out. I just gotta... focus lmao. But also figure out some equipment stuff, what’s necessary. If you have suggestions or if my phone/laptop is good enough.

Im considering TikTok as a venue as well

[thingsthatcauseautism]

Ah, let’s see what the normies think causes autism this week:

[image description: article comment reads “Women who are deficient in vitamin D are more likely to have autistic children. Low vitamin D linked to autism behaviours.

Vitamin D is associated with levels of both serotonin, important for the mode regulation, and melatonin, which regulate our sleep.

Also vitamin C deficiency is one of the main causes of autism. Vitamin C is needed.”]

So, uh, go outside or something and eat an orange! No, no... TWO oranges!

[thingsthatcauseautism]

I went outside after having an OJ with my pancakes and I’m allistic now!

[frumpmcgrump-deactivated2024011]

I just got my influenza vaccine so my autism leveled up 😏

[thingsthatcauseautism]

Actually it turns out the flu vaccine is just Vitamin A, because A stands for autism it turns out