idk how are you

30s, trans+pan, they/them, fandom sponge and trash porn with plot gremlin. thinkatory @ AO3, https://ko-fi.com/thinkatory for any tips

[thinkatoryprocess]

Have you seen half man?

No, but man am I tempted after everything I've heard. One review said it's emotional torture porn and I gotta say that doesn't dissuade me.

[ofide]

[anatomicalhearteyes]

@thinkatoryprocess

[thinkatoryprocess]

I love them. I still love them. One day I'll go back.

[thinkatoryprocess]

I haven't been around lately because I have been really burned out. I'm working at it, feeling a little better, but I'm moving slow. Some days I'm writing 10 words or none at all.

Really hoping to end up with hard inspiration again.

[thinkatoryprocess]

There's an original piece I'm thinking about sharing, but I'm feeling shy about it. I've been working on this piece for a while now, editing it again and again, and I think I need to share it just so that I don't just spend two years editing it over and over. I don't know if anyone will be interested, or if it's actively good, but the fact is I like it and I'm certainly not sharing original fiction to gain a lot of attention.

I'll post my next fic soon but it's likely to go up after that, on my main account, because fuck it.

[thinkatoryprocess]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Ch 1 of "a rock and a hard place," Ilya/Shane, rated Explicit. Ilya and Shane are blackmailed by an unknown sociopath in the wake of Shane pulling back from Ilya. (A porn with feelings, potentially porn with plot adventure.)

[thinkatoryprocess]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Ch 1 of "la sens de la vie," Armand/Daniel, canon Armand/Louis, rated E.

Moving Devil's Minion into the middle of the events of the 1940s Paris.

Tonight is worrying. Armand listens in on the conversation between Louis and a young American named Daniel Molloy, warmth in Louis, a somehow cynical enthusiasm in Molloy. Armand only now realizes he has never had the conversation with Louis asking him to be with him and only him at the point where Louis could easily pick up this would-be journalist, fuck him, drain him, and walk away without the slightest bit of conscience about Armand.

He has no choice. He has to follow this through. He knows he'll do nothing if Louis wrongs him, but he also doesn't know if what he has with Louis would be worth fighting the entire coven if the story of Lestat broke out in the worst way.

This is a decision he may be about to make in the next ten minutes.

[thinkatoryprocess]

I may not be posting for a bit, which I'm not bothered about, because I don't think I've taken a break in over a year. Part of this is writer's block - I've struggled to figure out the angles on a couple of these stories - but I've also picked up what's really the pilot piece for a nonfiction side project that I've wanted to do for a long time. That's taken up some time.

It'll take as long as it takes to get these fics started. I just don't want to rush it and start off on the wrong foot. I'll be back.

[thinkatoryprocess]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Ch 15/15 of "what you want and what you need," Armand/Daniel, rated Explicit. A take on Devil's Minion in the world of the show. In this final chapter, some awkwardness with Louis, and Daniel really puts up a fight against Armand, to decidedly mixed results.

[thinkatoryprocess]

Just watching Abbot with admiration and saying "sicko shit" three or four times every week

[thinkatoryprocess]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Ch 14 of "a taste of home," Ian/Mickey, rated Explicit. The Milkovichs and Gallaghers both get busted by CPS, and Ian and Mickey end up in the same foster home in the suburbs. In this chapter, a lot of fallout from a clash with the foster parents, and finding ways to cope.

[thinkatoryprocess]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Ch 14 of "what you want and what you need," Armand/Daniel, rated Explicit. A take on Devil's Minion in the world of the show. In this chapter, Daniel deals with fledgling decisionmaking, makes a decision that was probably inevitable but still a problem, Armand is creepy, and a decision is finally made.

[thinkatoryprocess]

I deleted Twitter a long while ago out of discomfort with data-sharing and not feeling particularly safe with moderation being very scant for the people who need it. However.

I'm thinking about picking back up again purely on a fandom account attached to as little personal information as I can give. There are a few fandoms over there that seem to be doing some fun stuff, as long as I can avoid the drama. Still, I'm really partial to Tumblr, with all its weird foibles, and wondering if there's a point in joining a totally different ecosystem.

Mostly thinking out loud but any advice would be welcome.

[thinkatoryprocess]

Anyone else getting really fucking pissed about AO3 scammers and spambots? Just me? Can't really tell if I'm being totally unreasonable, but man am I tired of getting notifications only for it to be that fucking nonsense.

Worse, I'm almost entirely sure some of them feed the fic to AI so they can write a plausible comment for bait without having to read 50k. I know I can't stop people from putting my fic into AI, but it makes my eye twitch.

[thinkatoryprocess]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Ch 13 of "what you want and what you need," Armand/Daniel, rated Explicit. A take on Devil's Minion in the world of the show. In this chapter, Daniel tries to find ways to cope with his death, and Daniel and Armand don't even bother trying to be normal.

[thinkatoryprocess]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Ch 2 of "the old religion humming in your veins," Alexei/Sasha (I know), rated Explicit. A compromised Sasha starts an affair with a struggling Alexei after deep discussions between the two draw them together.

[thinkatoryprocess]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Ch 2 of "see-through," mostly Irving gen but also Irving/Burt and Irving/OMC, rated T. A short(ish) history of Irving Bailiff, an invisible man. In this chapter, an Irving who has devoted himself from a young age to spycraft discovers, in the midst of an investigation of Lumon, that his innie fell in love when he had never been able to truly experience it before, and struggles with the implications and the emotions left over on his own side.

[thinkatoryprocess]

I'm in the middle of directing a show, so I have some thoughts about Armand-as-director for people who have never directed a theatre production before.

The biggest thing I'd want people to know is that directing is complicated. It's not just working with the actors on their performances, it's how everything onstage looks, it's how everything sounds, literally every aspect of a production is initially crafted by a director (things like lighting design or, in the case of TdV, projection design, are likely guided by and confirmed by Armand while created by someone else). It's a huge commitment of mental energy, and you end up in a lot of meetings. Often, it is stressful and boring and your actors are going up on lines or making weird choices. I would not trade it for anything in the world.

Probably one of the things going for Armand is that Lestat fronted all of the money for the TdV and he never has anyone like a producer breathing down his neck about spending money. Do I think he spends a lot of money? No. Do I think it's probably great to spend as much money as you feel you need? Yes.

I've also been in more than a few theatre productions under several directors, and everyone approaches things a little bit differently when it comes to handling actors. Armand does not approach things the way I do (I'm a congenial collaborator, up to a point) and is bluntly clear with his vision and really doesn't seem to be listening to anyone in the cast (maybe Sam, maybe the people building his vision, at best). I think this is partly just an aspect of his personality that Louis really would have been smarter to pay attention to rather than zone the fuck out during his rehearsals, but he's also running a coven, which is pretty fucking strict as a concept. It'd be like joining a cast where the director controlled everything about your life. Pass. I wouldn't want to be the director there either, so I respect Armand wanting out.

I can't be the only theatre person around here, but I figure this post can't hurt in adding some ideas into the fandom. It gave me some ideas just writing it. I'm open to any questions if anything pops to mind.