Parks and Recreation Sentence Starters
“I will defeat you. I will defeat you right into my pants.”
“This is the hardest I’ve ever worked on anything since…wow—I’ve never worked hard on anything!”
“I’ll wear that red thing when you deserve to see me in that red thing.”
“Earlier, I was licking icing off of my finger and boom, I swallowed my wedding ring.”
“I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.”
“This comes from your mother’s butt.”
“You sound like a tampon commercial. “
“I once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks. I didn’t actually sell my last car. I just forgot where I parked it.”
“Hopefully that will help any sensitivity you have around your…boob hats.”
“I’ve been reading up on nipples.”
“You can trust me because I don’t care enough about you to lie.”
“First rule. No conversation lasts longer than 100 total words.”
“I am not a sore loser. It’s just that I prefer to win and when I don’t, I get furious. “
“I’m going to murder you a thousand times!”
“I’ve had the same will since I was 8 years old. Upon my death, I will transfer all of my belongings to the man or animal who has killed me.”
“I’m boreddddd. Let’s go have sex in a tree.”
“One time my refrigerator stopped working and I had no idea what to do! I just moved!”
“I am 100 percent sure I am 0 percent sure of what to do.”
“I want to say something. You are a wonderful person. Our friendship means a lot to me. And you look very beautiful.”
“Wanna funk this junk in the back of my trunk?”
“Honestly, you’d look hot naked.”
"I’m not interested in caring about people."
“The only thing I will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!”
“That’s great and everything but unfortunately you should all know that it doesn’t matter because nothing matters because life is pointless.”
prguitarman
kianamaiart
tangentwithtanner
