Hello and welcome to my blog! You may be asking what this blog is for, and thankfully I have the answers to that. This is a gimmick blog (heavily inspired by @thisis-intersexism), and the premise is that you send experiences you've had with BPD sanism towards others/yourself or general negative words people have said/actions others have done surrounding BPD. Anon is on, feel free to leave an anon tag (or don't, it's up to you, really), I will be keeping a list of anon tags on this post further down.
I have multiple names I go by but you can call me Kieran Valentino (or just Valentino) 26, Simon, Convict 26, Pest 26, Asgahni (ᎠᏍᎦᏂ) 26, Inada (ᎢᎾᏓ), Dutch, or Elio. (< Preferred have 26 next to them). I use any pronouns (except for They/Them) but prefer He/Him, It/It's, Ix/Ix's, Thou/Thee, Xe/Xem, Shi/Hir, Hi/Shim, Null/Null's, and Sin/Sinner. I'm pxngender, genderfluid, transmasc, and intersex, I also use the term CTA (close to androgynous). I'm an orchid bear and present femme occasionally. I'm also a bi veldian, and I'm Aceflux + Graysexual + Grayromantic + Grayplatonic (please do not call me a friend unless I call you that first). I'll be 18 in a few months. I kin several things but some of these are Insects as a whole, the concept of sinning, the concept of gross/horrifying/freaky/gross/disgusting things, centipedes + house centipedes, vampires, priests, Pest from Regretavator, Simon/Convict from Iron Lung, Mike Schmidt from the FNAF movie, Donnie Darko, Father Charlie Mayhew from Grotesquerie, etc. As you can tell I love iron lung, I also have other interests, feel free to ask me about them. I am a Catholic! My side blog I like barely use is @e-li-o .
Fun facts about me: I am mixed (White/German and Tsalagi). I have polydactyly. I have CAH. I speak English and German, and I'm learning Spanish and Tsalagi. I have BPD (obviously) amongst other things such as DID (I as the host will be the only one posting on this blog) and possible OCD, I am physically and mentally disabled!
I have no DNI, all that I ask is that you don't bring syscourse onto this blog (I am pro-endo, but I have trauma and am occasionally triggered by syscourse), as well as obvious stuff like no racism, intersexism, homophobia, fatmisia, etc. I am a fat guy who loves my fellow fatties so that is NOT tolerated here. Feel free to ask my stances on things but I am not guaranteed to answer. PLEASE feel free to help me add id to my posts, idk what I need to id or how because I never get straight answers about it, it would be much appreciated.
Anon tags below, feel free to submit anon tags for yourself! <3
- Cypher [🦊] (aka my pookie /P)
-Anon (🐆💧)
Below are just some fun images/user boxes/etc :3
Credits;;
> verdantwyrm
> vesperthebagel
> just-another-userbox-maker
> crippy-tangerine
> you-sir-box
> webrosestar
> draconicpatches
Thank you for reading! I really appreciate everyone who checks out this blog. Have a nice day!
It turns out that Goose, as a then-26 year old, interacted with a 17-18 year old through the latter's sexual fan art.
Because Tumblr will stop this post from spreading if I tag it, I need to warn you here:
TW FOR SEXUAL INTERACTIONS BETWEEN AN ADULT AND A MINOR.
The rest of the post will be under the cut; viewer discretion is advised.
In fact, they first met through sexual fanart of one of Goose's characters that Adam (minor; 17 at the time) made.
They continued talking after that for whatever reason, including Goose making sexual jokes at him:
And, ironically, a tweet about her realizing he was a minor.
Evan after this, though, they continued to interact through sexual jokes and references. The following tweet, a couple of months after Adam turned 18, the two referenced their first meeting, and Goose said that the Elaine orgasm fanart was in a "special folder" of hers.
Ironically, Goose had a single moment of realization that Adam was too young to see her NSFW account... only to joke about him sexually AGAIN a couple of months later.
Yet again. Adam was 18 and Goose was in her mid/late 20s.
Words cannot describe how disgusted I am. It's no wonder she didn't give a shit about grooming, she did it herself. Even worse, she still interacts with him as recently as this March despite having never addressed what she did to him.
Are there any good/accurate websites for learning more about cerebral palsy? Specifically spastic cerebral palsy? I was gonna give it to the new oc I'm making but I want to be educated on it first.
Listening to my friend, who knows I have BPD and has heard many of my ramblings about how hard it is on me, talk about how people who are "clingy" "high-mantenence" "overthinking" "catastrophizing" "annoying" are red flags and mocking them. Listening to him describe me and make fun it it to my face.
This is bpd sanism. He knows you have bpd, but is still listing off the negative descriptors that people commonly use to describe people with bpd.
I urge you to get better friends who actually care about you and who will treat you better even despite of your bpd, anon.
What is the like weirdest most wildly specific thing that has come from your OCD
Like I can only have my fan on one speed. And each of my rings have their designated finger. And if I switch them up on accident I can’t wear that one for the rest of the day, but I’ll feel off the whole day cause I’m not wearing it.
There's two of them, I'll try to explain as best I can lol
1. I have a really really bad obsession about not smelling bad. It's like a really bad fear of mine to smell bad and I've heard that this is associated with OCD. I shower sometimes twice a day. I use really strong smelling shampoo, conditioner, body wash, body scrubs, etc., the only thing that isn't scented is my dove soap bar for intimate areas because scented things are bad for that and can make you smell worse. I reapply fragrances multiple times a day, even when I'm not leaving the house. I'm very particular about the fragrances I use, I don't like overly flowery scents because I don't like how they smell and they give me and my partner migraines. Unfortunate because I love collecting niche scents because of my ASD which most of the time have weird or unusual smells, such as one I'm saving up for called Inexcusable Evil (it's consumed my entire identity for the past, idk, 2 or so years now and I've really gotten attached to it for the past few months), which is meant to smell like war (blood, bandages, iodine, fallen concrete, rain, burning flowers, etc). I went on a rant but you get it.
2. If I put something down and it gets moved I get really upset and I feel like something bad will happen, such as I'll lose whatever it is or it'll get destroyed or other bad life events regarding whatever that thing is. Anyone who lives with me or has been around me knows that you have to ask me for permission before moving my things, or let me move it myself.
My blog is not a confessional. My blog is not a free therapy session.
This blog is meant to help people with bpd share their experiences with sanism, or for people with friends or loved ones with bpd to share their frustrations with sanism.
I just felt like I had to say this. I've been getting a lot of asks lately like this, nothing against those people. But I've said many times I have low empathy and struggle with helping people. I find myself not knowing what to do or how to help.
If you dislike people who have bpd, and want help for it, I have made posts before and there are things in the comments of those posts that can help. Alternatively, you can seek help from a therapy service.
Please don't take this post the wrong way. I will be deleting any new asks along these lines.
I will ALSO be deleting any asks that involve bad coping or improvement methods that people use, because I don't want people to take these asks as the only way to cope or improve and end up hurt. I will also be deleting any asks that mention r/bpdlovedones in a way that ISN'T a "this is bpd sanism" ask, that subreddit is a fucking cesspool of sanists and ableists, and I'm not going to be promoting it.
I have to reach out from help from the BPD community because I asked that one BPDlovedone Reddit but it’s clear they are all just burnt by those in their past without more empathy but I want to have empathy.
I had two horrible and traumatic experiences with people with BPD and I want to make sure that those experiences won’t lead to me being bias towards others and also what I can do as someone who has history to make people with BPD feel comfortable. I’m sorry to ask this from you and your community but research straight up doesn’t yield anything for people without it (which I get completely trust) I just want to be the best for others I can be. (This is a completely genuine and good faith question btw. I know the disorder is hard and the two I dealt with isn’t everyone with the disorder but brains yk 😵💫)
Hello! I really debated answering this ask because, like I've said before on this blog, I have never been in this situation and I also have low empathy so sometimes it can be hard for me to give advice.
I have answered an ask similar to this one in the past, the link is here, and also there's some things in the comments that may help.
Hopefully the first part didn't come off as rude, that is never my intention when answering good faith asks, this kind of thing is just something I genuinely struggle with answering. I hope everyone can understand that and be patient with me.
How does someone get over their dislike for individuals with BPD?
We had a bad experience with an ex who had BPD, and our host has been scared ever since. We want him to get over the fear, as beings cannot control their disorders, especially personality disorders.
Again, I apologize for asking.
Hello, I've never been in this situation so I don't know if this advice will help much but I'll try my best ^^'.
My advice would just be to tell him that the stereotype that people with BPD are all bad and abusive is very untrue, there are a lot of very lovely people with BPD. A lot of people with BPD who I've met are the best people I've ever had the pleasure to talk to, same with other personality disorders. Positive resources talking about BPD, which don't demonize it and instead put a positive light on it could also help.
Don't rush into it, I think rushing and trying to force him to stop thinking that way will do more harm than good. Maybe slight exposure whenever he is comfortable with a person who has BPD would be good?? I don't know, I would feel comfortable having a basic chat or two (hello, how is your day going, hope you are well, what have you been up to, etc) as long as he remains respectful.
Want to reiterate that I've never been in this situation, so I'm not sure if any of this will actually help, but ... I tried, at least! If anyone else has advice (while remaining respectful once again) that would also be appreciated.
Hi everyone, I’m cypher you’re daily positive spreader here, I just wanted to let everyone know here that you are loved and cared for from the ones you love. And remember to take care of yourself, 🫂 :>
- 🦊 (formerly known as axo)
Thank you, beloved best friend. And please, everyone keep what pup said in mind. I know times are hard, especially right now, but you can get through this.
my sister likes to say hateful things about our abusive mother who we suspect has bpd and/or npd (i dont really want to label her as like. straight up one or the other or both since im not her or her doctor but she definitely has severe traits of both), and like i get her, both of us hate her for the trauma thats still affecting us today despite being relatively no contact with her, but i dont think calling her a "crazy bitch " and "insane", saying narcissists are the worst and never change (veryyy close to tiptoeing to saying this abt borderlines too), and in general just. loves to demonize npd in particular but i feel like some bpd demonization is mixed in w it too which is why i decided to kinda talk about it.
anyways, as someone w quiet bpd its been upsetting to hear her vent abt our mother the longer time went on and the more i understood myself and others with pd's. i literally dont want to tell her anything about what i struggle with like she finds such an issue if i relapse on alcohol once/twice when things are bad (compared to when i used to take wayyyy more befire and she knows this), doesnt really care that its better than the alternative thing to do which is sh. but if she does find out i relapsed on sh (ive been clean since last year thankfully!), she is way more sympathetic and like concerned but understanding.
idk its just. like i dont trust her with anything personal about me anymore even if we are technically close, i definitely see issues with how she treats others with the same disorders our mother had, like people are abusive because theyre shitty. whatever disorders they have/may have dont automatically make them an abuser. it just bothers me she treats me like some exception just cause im "worthy" of sympathy and understanding by being her sibling.
there are other things shes said that ick me too but those are unrelated to bpd so ill stop here 😅 sorry if this isnt exactly whats allowed on the blog im kinda new to telling whats bpd sanism and what isnt bc of the whole yknow, making sure im not evil/do bad things like everyone on the earth paints us to be at all times. which is probably another example lol its exhausting being told youre being too much or not trying enough and expected to be better about everything all the time. but that said, hope running the blog goes well! and i hope you have a good day/night wherever you are :D
This is BPD sanism. Not everyone with BPD or other personality disorders are evil, cruel people. While people with pd's can be abusive or bad people most aren't, and it's really strange that your sister is stereotyping like this.
P.s, you are doing much better with your addiction, and I'm very sorry she can't see that. Addiction is hard to recover from, I would know as someone who is trying to quit cigarettes. Recovery is not linear, relapses will happen, and that doesn't mean you aren't trying.
I hope she realizes she's hurting you and stops this behavior, anon.
Wh. Why have your stance on endos on a blog that has nothing to do with endos . Doesn't that defeat the purpose of making a safe space for everyone with bpd lol
Because I can and endos do nothing wrong, if you have a problem with it you don't have to interact. In my intro post I literally say no syscourse but like... Look what you're doing. I literally said nothing about "erm ackshually only pro endos can interact", all I said was that syscourse occasionally triggers me and I stated my stance on it so people would know if they have that on their dni. Because, idk, I'm a respectful human being?? I'm not "defeating the purpose of a safe space" I'm giving the option of interaction even if you aren't pro endo. I genuinely do not care if you are Endo neutral or whatever the fuck but still interact with me. All I ask is that you don't bring syscourse bs on my blog and respect my opinion enough to not shit on me for it, and if you follow those, idgaf if you interact. I think you're turning this into me saying that only specific people can interact when I literally... Never said anything of the sort. In my intro I literally said I have no dni but all I ask is no syscourse. I'm not barring anyone from this space, I simply am executing my right to set my boundaries.
I’m questioning if I have bpd, specifically quiet bpd. I’m so horribly terrified of being the bpd stereotype type of lashing out and hurting the people I care about.
I feel like I have to constantly remind myself of things I have accidentally done (or even things I didn’t do but *feel* responsible for in some way) in the past in order to stay in line.
It’s really gotten bad since I’ve been with my partners (one of which does have bpd), I’m scared that they’ll leave because they’ll see me as a horrible person because I know that I’ll mess up in some way that’ll hurt them emotionally.
I basically never give myself permission to express any anger or anger like emotions because what if it turns into abuse. That and a dumb thought/rule of “both of my partners already have anger issues, so I’m not allowed to have it” and suppress my emotions or turn them against me so that I “stay in line” (according to my made up rules.
(Note that I haven’t been abused in any way as far as I’m aware and my partners have helped me express things little by little. Still scared though)
Sorry for this rant 😞 - anon (🐆💧)
Hello Anon. I am never good at responding to these things so please bare with me.
You are a good person, the fact that you are wanting to prevent hurting your partners at all says a lot. But you cannot let this fear take over. You have to communicate. I sound like a broken record because everyone on earth says this, but communication is really good.
Sit your partners down, have a talk with them, "I have been scared to express my emotions out of fear of hurting you, even though you are helping me with it already, can you reassure me.", etc. Most people would understand and appreciate that their partner would come to them and be honest about it and feel safe enough to have that talk.
You're allowed to have emotions. You're allowed to express those emotions, and anyone who says otherwise... Well, that just says a lot about their character, doesn't it? Haha. I don't know your partners, obviously, but from what you've said I think it will go good especially because it seems like you all care about each other, considering you said they're helping you a bit already. Please do request reassurance when you are feeling this way. Reassurance with BPD helps tremendously.
You matter, Anon. You're allowed to have these emotions. You are kind. You are important. You are loved. Please don't let these thoughts that you will be a bad person for expressing emotions win. I hope it goes well for you and I apologize if my response wasn't the best.
where i live, if you have an episode, lash out, and end up hurting someone physically, if you have bipolar disorder you're not considered responsible for your actions, if you have bpd you're considered responsible...both are capable of some level of control unless triggered in the way that would lead to an emotional explosion....so anyway lets hope i never split the way i have the urge to most of the time
This is BPD sanism. They should be held to the same standard of responsibility.
P.s. you are not a bad person for your lash outs and mistakes happen, if it ever gets to that point. Hope you're doing well and stay safe, anon.
