My Life

INFP, Hufflepuff, Scorpio, Engineer, College Student Gonna be honest I post a lot of random stuff, pretty much whatever is on my mind

[this-is-safe-place]

We layed there looking into each others eyes, and I was scared. No one has ever looked at me the way you were looking at me. The way your eyes gazed at me like you were actually scared of losing me.

Please stay, at least for a while. Because I know I was looking at you the same way.

[this-is-safe-place]

Do you think I don’t notice? Do you seriously think I don’t feel your gaze on me when you don’t think I’m paying attention? I don’t feel your thumb rubbing on my hand or shoulder when I fall asleep on the couch next to you. I don’t notice that you hug me a little longer than you should. You always pick the seat next to me when we hangout with our friends. You flirt with me so much and so constantly, and you don’t think I notice?

Well you’re wrong. I notice it all and it eats at me because we friendzoned each other and neither of us want to be here.

[this-is-safe-place]

Flirting in the friendzone is a bitch

[this-is-safe-place]

I didn’t fall in love with you when we were talking. In that month in the talking stage, I did not fall. No. It was much later. It was after I got through all the pain of you ending things. It was after I became friends with all your friends. It was when we became friends and put the romanticism in the past. When you let your guard down to be my friend, I found myself wanting you more than I ever did when we talked. And every time I see you smile I am filled with so much love and so much heartbreak because we can’t ever go back and we both know that.

[this-is-safe-place]

[this-is-safe-place]

Ok I finished my freshman year of College and I have advice!

Make the library practically your home. Go between classes, before classes, after dinner, whenever. As much as you can. You will get so much studying done and your brain will eventually associate the library with studying

MAKE FRIENDS!! Ok I know you want a 4.0 GPA and college is hard. But you know what’s more important than a 4.0? Having people close to you that are fun and you trust. Whether you join a club or meet them in class, make an effort to have friends

On the contrary, don’t keep toxic people in your life. There are lots in college. You are under no obligation to keep them in your life because there are also lots of non toxic people

Talk to professors. I got 3 letter grades higher than they were supposed to be syllabus wise because I made connections with my professors and went to office hours. Even if you just go in to work on homework once every 2 weeks, you will be better off

The first test of the semester is the most important in the fact that it shows what the rest of the tests will be like. It is also the hardest to study for. If you don’t do well on the first one don’t be too upset, you have lots of room to grow.

Stay active. Join a sports team or create your own workout regimen. It doesn’t have to be all the time, but college food is unhealthy and you should do something to keep yourself healthy

It’s OK to drink, smoke, vape, and do drugs. I know you’ve been trained all your life that it’s not, but it is. It’s also ok NOT to do any of those things. But Do Not judge anyone for the choices that they are making

Download Uber and use it. You might not need it yourself, but chances are you’ll have a friend that is too drunk to drive and doesn’t have Uber.

Take this time to find yourself, whatever that means to you! And have fun! College is a huge adjustment from high school, but it is so much fun and so great!! You have an opportunity to find out who you are without the judgement of your family, take it!

[this-is-safe-place]

If you ever are dating someone and want your ex to see so that they know that you’ve moved on, STOP. You have not moved on. And as much as you like whoever you are dating, you need to stop that relationship until you are ready to date them without the weight of an old relationship weighing down on you. You can always go back to the person your with. And trust me if you tell them that y’all have to take a break because you don’t want them to be a rebound, they will respect the hell out of you. Get over your ex and find yourself before you try a new relationship.

[this-is-safe-place]

Every time I see you it gets a little easier

[thepersonalquotes]

[this-is-safe-place]

Fuck it. Live your life how you want and be yourself because in real life, who gives a fuck?

[this-is-safe-place]

I am swearing off boys until I can love myself again. They really did fuck me up

[this-is-safe-place]

what you don’t know is that after spending a few hours with you as friends, I go home and cry because we used to be so much more

[elpatron-delmal]

wanna impress me? stick around,I never had that before

[this-is-safe-place]

The ones that you really like. The ones that you will cry the most about when it ends. They don’t look like you think they will. You have this perfect guy in your head. Maybe he’s tall and has dark hair or blue eyes, but when you meet that boy, he won’t be impressive. It’s the boy that looks nothing like your dream boy that will take you by surprise. You’ll catch feeling without realizing it, and when things end, you will feel so fucking defeated, they aren’t even your type. But you liked them more, and the boys that aren’t your type will break your heart the most.

[this-is-safe-place]

Why is it so fucking hard? I just want someone to like me and be in a place where they can pursue that. How many guys am I going to talk to that are “just not in a good place in life” before I find someone that thinks I’m worth it? Am I that hard to love? Fuck. Everyone else is getting into relationships or has had long relationships in the past and I’m just lonely. Why the fuck doesn’t anyone want to try? Why the fuck doesn’t anyone think I might be worth at least trying a relationship with? I’m feel so fucking alone. And I pretend that I’m ok, but I’m not. I don’t know how to feel like I’m worth it anymore. It’s hard to love yourself when you are constantly played.

[this-is-safe-place]

No! YOU burned that bridge! If you want back into my life YOU are going to have to swim your own goddamn ass back over here!

[this-is-safe-place]

It is so hard to try and be friends with someone that you have a history with. This is day 4 of trying to be your friends. I didn’t even realize I had this many feelings when we were talking, I’ve cried 3 times, and I am starting to doubt if we can be friends at all.