I've never been sexist as a child and I've always seen and treated everyone equally. but then I always get told by my own dad since I was little to not eat a banana in a normal way, to not wear shorts or makeup in front of him and my then 5 year old brother (this is a thing in many conservative and religious countries), to hide my legs AT THE BEACH just because a random man was staring at them even though I stare at a man's chest and somehow it's no big deal. I'm also always told by him how men are dangerous because he knows how men are as a man himself. so that made me paranoid and really resentful because why do I have to limit my own freedom and make myself small because of men!? so I never wanna go outside ever again. it doesn't help that other people in my surroundings also see men as inherently dangerous, like one time there was someone standing there waiting for someone and people thought he was gonna do something dangerous and then when it turns out that it's a woman, they let their guard down. and also, I keep getting posts all over social media on men being creeps and "this is why women can't say no" despite hitting not recommend on youtube and blocking pages on twitter and instagram. I kept getting close calls from falling into the misandrist radfem pipeline because of all this, the only thing that keeps me from it is that the fault is from how society raises each kids with gender roles and how it segregates both genders. if you have any advice to help me stop falling into sexism then feel free.
I am not an advice blog, however I will attempt to give some, and comments are welcome to give helpful advice.
I usually dislike this phrase, as it’s often used incorrectly, but it’s important to remember that not all men are like that.
Are some men bad people? Yes, but that is because of their actions, and not their sex and/or gender.
I know how it feels to be afraid of the world, and specifically afraid of men due to what has been told to you as a child. What I find helps (with any type of group you’re afraid of) is finding one person, only one, in that group, who you trust, ideally someone you are not related to. Think of why you trust that person; what’s their personality like, what have they done to gain your trust, why do you like them? Remember it, write it down, whatever works for you. Then try and find someone else in that group who has some of those traits, and someone else, and someone else. Build yourself a small, private network of people you can trust, and try to built it every day, or every week, or just whenever you can. Remind yourself that not everyone within that group is like you have been told they are.
It’ll probably be difficult, but it’s incredibly important to note that you have come for help about your worried and thoughts, and you haven’t done the easier thing, which would be to hate. That deserves recognition, and I’m proud of you.
