i like stickers with puppies in spaceships on them

[fatmanatee]

[this-reading-by-lightning]

Straight culture: your appearance and desires are worth less than mine

Straight culture: you're barely even a real adult because your "marriages" and "children" if you even have them are second class

Straight culture: nice try with the "chosen family" thing but I think we all know what real family is

Straight culture: *in a whisper* Um so how do you make and keep friendships as an adult... I... I had this radical experience where I spent time with someone who is not my spouse just for fun, not even sex or commerce, and I... I think I need to write a 4,000 word essay about it for the New York Times... Wow...

[official-german-translationen]

Hey mein Name ist Johann Wolf’gang von Goethe und ich bin 1,69m groß aber auf Denkmälern erreiche ich Schillers Größe und ich trage meine weißen Haare nach hinten gepustet um die Mitte meiner Stirn herum und eine Menge Leute sagen mir ich sehe aus wie der junge Werther (AN: wenn du nicht weißt wer der werther ist lies verfickt nochmal mein buch!). Ich bin nicht verwandt mit einer Gang aus Wölfen (So habe ich meinen Namen bekommen) und ich wünschte ich wäre mit Götz von Berlichingen verwandt denn ich feiere ihn ziemlich hart. Ich bin Verfasser aber meine Fassungen sind nicht verunstaltet und gefasst. Ich habe Hautfarbe die je nach Farbwiederherstellungsprogramm anders aussieht (das kommt davon dass sie so schlechte farbenlehre benutzen die sollen mal mein buch lesen). Ich bin auch ein Stürmer und Dränger, und ich besuche eine Fußballschule genannt Hauslehrergruppe im Vorgänger Deutschlands, dort bin ich einige Zeit gewesen (Ich bin 266). Ich bin ein Göth (Falls du es noch nicht erraten hast) und ich schreibe meistens Zeugs. Heute zum Beispiel schrieb ich einen doktorierten Charakter mit dem Namen einer zum Angriff geballten Hand mit universellem Wissen im Bereich der ach! Philosophie, Juristerei und Medizin und leider auch Theologie und er hat den Erdgeist beschworen und kriegt Besuch vom Teufel weil er es nicht hingekriegt hat den Drudenfuß vor seiner Tür anständig zu malen und er wird verjüngt und macht aber doch alles irgendwie wieder kaputt. Gerade stürmte es und ich drängte mich durch den Wind, worüber ich sehr froh war. Johann Melchior Goeze starrt mich an. Ich zeigte ihm den Mittelfinger

[elflordelphias]

#I do not know a single word of German yet I know exactly what this is

[brentraptor]

i…

[brentraptor]

i made this video one year ago today and i have never known peace since. happy valentine’s day you filthy sons of mothers 

[kehlso]

[losertakesall]

the actual best moment in all ANTM history

[catsbeaversandducks]

“Let’s be cute together!”

Photos by ©Anya Yukhtina

[vintagesaltbackup]

Jodie Foster interview, 1979.

[catsbeaversandducks]

This 17-Year-Old Fluffy Cat May Just Be Part Owl

Her name is Puffy, a Persian cat, who has quite a cattitude. She’s 17 this year but still a kitten at heart. Puffy has a face that resembles an owl, especially when she surveys the house while turning her head around.

More info on tumblr. - Via Love Meow

[sloths-and-armadillos]

Stage Management: The Musical

Song 1: Don’t touch the props

Song 2: Shut your whore mouths

Song 3: I don’t do costumes

Song 4: I only love some of you

Song 5: Tape, My one true love

Song 6: Who touched that fucking prop

INTERMISSION

Song 7: Intermission, the song

Song 8: Backstage Badger was right about you

Song 9: I’ll cut you

Song 10: Stop putting mic tape on the prop tables

Song 11: Don’t get high on spray paint

Song 12: The blame game

Song 13: We get post show depression too

[andersondaily]

Glamour UK: What advice would you give to young women?

[this-reading-by-lightning]

*cries*

*cries more*

[taavot-deactivated20170404]

straight ppl in fandoms who like to talk about how you’re “sinning” and “such trash” and “nasty” when you ship a same gender pairing: you have no place making those jokes. 1. you are insinuating w/ your language that our relationships are inherently hypersexualized and contributing directly to that, and 2. while you get to be self congratulatory and loud about your “perverted gay fanfic” or w/e, same gender attracted people are actually out here fearing for our safety and having our relationships morally called into question, being actually accused of sin and wrongdoing.

not ur place, take 2 steps back and shut up. you can ship / like / support same gender pairings and participate in things like fanworks, discussions, art, etc without taking a fetishizing tone / approach to it. it makes folks real uncomfortable.

[taavot-deactivated20170404]

straight ppl are blocking me and adding rly long and extra tirades to this post that make it v clear they didn’t read any of the points. I’m amused. anyway I’m gonna say it louder if you’re straight and u make jokes like “wow I ship so much gay stuff I’m so gross and a SINNER” etc to specifically talk about shipping same gender couples you’re emulating fetishizing rhetoric, idc if u don’t see it, there are over a thousand notes on this post of non straight people agreeing that this makes them uncomfortable. please take note. also “it’s just fandom talk among ppl in fandoms” yes hello I am one of the many non straight ppl who Enjoys Things and would like to participate in the fanbase, and yet I feel uneasy doing so because of this shit. 

[pawnee-animal-control]

Current emotion: Chopped judges during the last 10 seconds of a round

[phil-the-stone-deactivated20180]

BONUS:

Jake Peralta: Human Disaster (he’s trying really hard, okay) + tumblr text posts, ft. Amy Santiago

[awkwardnormalcy-deactivated2016]

This is my favorite meme.

[this-reading-by-lightning]

i am jake peralta and it’s vaguely gross

[dinosauriaawesome]

I am reading lots of things about Fiona in Elementary and I just want to say really quickly that if your opinion of her is that she is too stereotypical because she info-dumps, or has trouble with eye contact, or hates breaking the rules, and that that is a bad or unrealistic thing, I’d like you to please think about those of us who are autistic and do all those things. And how shitty it feels to read that a character with those traits is shallow or one dimensional.

@this-reading-by-lightning would like me to use her as a reference point as someone who does all those things and is simultaneously the least stereotypical autistic person ever, btw.

[this-reading-by-lightning]

***to be extended/elaborated upon l8er***

but seriously, though.

SERIOUSLY. 

S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y.

[this-reading-by-lightning]

EMMMMAAAAAA i just watch the latest episode of elementary and i have so many feelings i might cry okay just had to inform you

take ur feelings about this whole fiona situation and then multiply them by a factor of approximately ten million and apply them to every single thing she’s ever done in every scene ever so far...and you have some idea of what my fucking facebook posts about this have been like recently. if you haven’t already seen them...

me on facebook: i’m fucking crying. this. this things. it’s things. here is a clip from youtube of these things i’m talking about. i don’t even care if you don’t watch this fucking show or even know what the hell it is about all of you “same brand of autistic as me” fuckers need to watch these right now and freak out with me YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.*a few minutes pass**post gets some likes**various other people commenting like “i totes need to watch this show!”* *some more likes**the “same brand of autistic as me” people start liking post*those autistic people: okay okay i will watch the clips chill*slightly more extended pause**faint keening noises echo through my interwebs*those autistic people: I. I. I. I. I. WHAT. THE...FUCK? IS THIS WITCHCRAFT.I DON’T EVEN FUCKING WATCH THIS SHOW.WHO EVEN ARE THESE PEOPLE? I DON’T KNOW? WHAT THE PLOT IS? BUT I’M FUCKING CRYING? I HAVE SENT THAT EXACT EMAIL?AM I BEING SURVEILLED? COULD THEY ACTUALLY HAVE READ OUR BLOGS FOR RESEARCH BEFORE WRITING ABOUT US? WHICH OF THOSE EXPLANATIONS SEEMS MORE REALISTIC/LIKELY? I CAN’T TELL?me: correct.

[arterialtrees]

Text 1, 3, and 4: From Bluets by Maggie Nelson

Text 2 and 5: From On Being Blue by William Gass

[coldmackerel-deactivated2023110]

if u donuts wanna start shipping new star wars characters then be my fucking guest but mama din’t raise no fool. im waitin til i know who related to who so i don’t have to spend the next ten years in the shower praying for forgiveness. fool me once, george lucas.