Welcome to my new blog for IF games, fanart and other unhealthy forms of escapism. [⚠️18+ Contents] Venture at your own peril ☠️
[ RC Story Rating | RC LIs | Spicy IFs ]
Welcome to my new humble corner of the interweb, where I obsess over fictional characters, interactive fictions and more, to satisfy my unhealthy need for escapism. This blog is not suitable for users under 18.
A sale by Idrelle Games, 80% off Hidden Pages: A Wayfarer Collection
Wayfarer's e-book collection Hidden Pages is on sale for only $2.00! This is a perfect time to grab a copy and enjoy some additional tales from the world of Rhesainia.
✦ Sale ends July 24, 2026 ☀️
✦ Sale applies only to its itch.io listing (the e-book is not on sale on Ko-fi, Patreon or Gumroad). 🌊
✦ A copy of this collection is automatically available for APPRENTICE tier memberships on my Patreon. If you have a membership, please check your benefits before purchasing! 🌴
I am nothing if not an overthinker, so I'm going to share a few thoughts right now before I get into my workday.
First and foremost, thank you! I am incredibly grateful for the support, understanding, and appreciation I have been shown by this community. It means a lot, and I don't take it for granted.
I try to be fairly transparent about what's going on on my side, though I'm not always the best at it. I have always been a pretty poor correspondent, and unsurprisingly, communicating with more people hasn't changed that. 😅
I've talked about some of the reasons that development has been slow with Code Blue, both here and on my blog, and I think the two biggest ones are these:
A LOT has been going on with my life circumstances during the last few years.
Code Blue is a complicated story, partially because it's Gender of Choice and partially because it deals with a lot of topics that require research.
I'm also not a particularly fast writer, though this can vary a lot depending on the subject matter and other factors.
I do want to address two topics in more detail. Below, I'm paraphrasing some concerns I've seen floating around.
Why are there still delays when you say you're doing better? Have you lost interest in the story, or is there something serious going on that we should be concerned about?
I've touched on parts of this, but let me expand a bit. In 2025, I was 100% in survival mode. TLDR: is that in the interest of having a sustainable future telling stories, I left my home country on an accelerated schedule. I lost my brother, I got covid, I ended up very isolated, only interacting with other people in person for a few hours each month. 2025 was not a great year for me. Launching Code Blue was a highlight, and so was taking the first scary steps toward a more sustainable future, but I came into 2026 with a lot more gray hairs.
I sometimes cope with stress by focusing on work and ignoring other things. (Sounds familiar, doesn't it...?) The problem with that is that it's not sustainable for two separate but related reasons: Health Impacts and Creative Burnout.
Let's tackle the Health Impacts side of things first. I've mentioned this before, but in 2024, I learned that I have a genetic mutation on my LMNA gene that affects every cell in my body. This is the same mutation that led to my brother's sudden death despite his seemingly good health last year. So, am I about to drop dead too? Probably not, and I'd like to keep it that way. I need to and have been focusing more on my physical and mental health.
As for Creative Burnout, I had a run in with this a few years ago. It is an extremely unfun place to be, and I noticed some warning signs coming into 2026. As much as I don't like that Code Blue isn't releasing at least 2 chapters every update, please trust me when I say that the slower rate is preferable to the alternative.
I hope this information provides a clearer picture of the situation. If you're anything like me, you're great at imagining the worst possible scenario. Rather than a mystery illness, there's a genetic mutation that I need to proactively manage to reduce the risk of serious health impacts, along with some mental, physical, and emotional struggles brought on by big life stressors and changes. I'm spending this year rebuilding foundations and getting my health back to a better baseline while continuing to write.
And so far as losing interest in the project? That's not something I've ever struggled with. In general, my mind becomes singularly focused on whatever project I'm working on. That said, I do struggle sometimes with splitting my focus between establishing myself in a new country and the project. In my home country, daily life created a much lower overall mental load.
Won't the slow release schedule hurt the story? Isn't the story losing resources because it's skipping updates?
I know that a lot of players hypothesize about these topics, and internal company processes are not something I talk about, but I can answer this as a writer. I have no reason to believe that the slow release of episodes will have any impact on the work that is put into Code Blue by the rest of the team.
As for rankings, I think I've also said it before, but I don't spend much time thinking about the story's ranking on the chart.
Some readers will lose interest in the story because episodes aren't coming out as quickly as other stories, and that's an unfortunate and understandable reality of a slower release schedule. It's also something that I'm not in a position to do anything about at this point. I was incredibly anxious that interest in the story would plummet and it would be forgotten as soon as I started missing updates, but that hasn't been the case. So, thanks for that!
All that said, if you like the story, please keep doing what you're doing. I am genuinely humbled by your continued support, and for my part, I'll keep working towards a more consistent and sustainable release cadence.
Thanks for sticking through both this long post and the long waits 💗
we are witnessing the gentrification of the term "tumblr sexyman" in real time and it is extremely disappointing. like no, live-action white boy #265 played by ryan gosling isn't a tumblr sexyman. i can't believe i have to say this but if it wouldn't get you shoved into a locker it probably isn't a sexyman
“You’re late,” she accused.
“Yeah, well, took a wrong turn. Water?”
my piece for Echoes of the Saviour's Love that doubles as my homage to @seismologically-silly 's fic, which you can read here ! I had a lot of fun working on this HEHEHEHEHEHE
Some time after their first time together with the MC, the ROs that are able to get pregnant get pregnant. What do they do?
(For some reason, I feel like I answered an ask like this before, but maybe I’m thinking of something else because I can’t find it, haha. Anyway, I have quite a few pregnancy asks in my inbox, so I tried to create an amalgamation of them all, haha.)
S: Selby stares at the pregnancy test in awe. He has scrupulously planned every facet of his life for as long as he has been operative; the team needs a leader who is prepared for every contingency. If it’s a matter of life and death, Selby has meticulously accounted for every eventuality. And yet… one night of unadulterated passion was all it took.
Wide-eyed, you stare up at him, worrying your bottom lip in pensive silence. It pains him to think that, despite these two lines existing outside of his predictions, they could represent anything but sheer joy.
He wraps his arms around you tight, pulling you into his chest so that you can hear his heart dancing against his ribs. “I understand you may be frightened, my love, but I assure you, I will be right by your side—you are my world, and I would be overjoyed if that world included another little life, too.”
Rain: It seemed like the kind of practical joke Taj might convince you to play after they had eaten all of the qita's favourite pastries. Or a dream plucked from their very worst nightmares that could only be salved with the promise of family. They had spent so long attempting to fill the void left behind by the destruction of their home—they found Selby and Taj, but you were the true revelation. A tour de force, you pulled them from the burning wreckage of their life and offered them direction and tranquility.
This, however, also came with many ardent, strenuous, and sleepless nights.
Despite all of their precautions, the moment you hold up that positive pregnancy test, they smother you in kisses, caressing your cheeks, catching any stray tears that might escape with loving attention. "I know it's early days for us," they begin, shaking with uncontrollable excitement, "but I am happy. I want to make you happy. I want to paint both your lives with colour, as you have mine."
Taj: She never gave it much thought. Pregnancy did not seem like a real thing that could happen—or, if it did, it was something that happened to others. Or at the very least, it only happened between people who shared a heritage. Was this second, fucking glaring line on the plastic stick proof of a lie she had been fed? Existential dread aside, this was a mess.
Breaking the news was a painful affair—she spent half the time trying to conjure up a worthwhile reason for him to stick around. "Look, I know this is my fuck up; I d-didn't even know it would have been possible for us to, y'know, but we can s-still figure this shit out. I don't think I could endure this if—" She never expected the embrace. In seconds, every lynching lie or paralysing fear she might have come up with evaporates into a moment of pure peace. A hand, resting at the base of her back, might as well have been a hand reached across a ravine in which she had abandoned herself. It felt like a promise that she would not wade through these muddy waters alone.
"You better not fuckin' go anywhere, Koel," she begs, because even her pride has no place here. "I can't do this without you."
N: She should have known better—the words rattle incessantly in her brain. How long has she been preventing this exact kind of accident from happening? The consequences of fornication were whipped into her as thoroughly as the effectiveness of high heels and stockings. Outrageous that she would set aside her stringent rituals and preparations for the sake of... what... love? She shudders at the thought.
And yet, she cannot deny the change in her heart. Could it be possible that somewhere, deep within the insensate stone of her heart, she might harbour a desire she never knew herself capable of?
Was it too obscene to hope that you might feel the same?
Speaking the words aloud was too difficult. Yet, it was all too easy to notice something amiss when she was acting so uncharacteristically taciturn. Naera was never very diplomatic when confronted. "It seems I may be carrying your child—I hope this doesn't displease you overly much, but if it does, feel free to live with it. It doesn't matter to me one bit—"
She would have carried on like that all night had you not kissed her. And if she wipes away a single tear afterwards, well... at least you had the good sense to make no mention of it.
Umbra: It wasn't possible. How could it be? Umbra was a creature of the night—of shadow. Necrotic energy weaves black tendrils that seep out of his very pores, whispering promises of death. The very notion that he might supply anything but a swift end feels like make-believe. And yet, there you sit, holding up those two little lines like a torch deep within the darkness.
And he weeps.
The lines of his face crease, his lips crack as unbridled fear, elation, apprehension, and peace feast on him like a swarm of locusts. He buries his head into your chest, clinging to your clothes, as if afraid his shadow might finally eclipse your light and he will never find you again.
"I cannot lose you," he declares, still buried beneath a mound of guilt and fear. "I'm afraid that this will hurt you—what if it is like me?" He dreads the answer to that question as much as he already believes it to be untrue. Any part of you is perfect.
So my question is, how would the ROs respond to an MC who reflects a lot of their personality traits/mirrors themselves back to them? Both the good and the not so good. Who would be the most okay or the most disturbed?
Not me following in Amy's footsteps and giving you all the options to be a homewrecker in Laws of Passion. 😏
Anyway, I'm doing a bit of a rewrite for Laws of Passion over at Patreon, and I added a new RO you can customize, and you can be a homewrecker. (It will be optional)
I’m extremely interested in all things vampire, so… for this hypothetical maybe IF…. What would the romances be? 👀👀👀
Same here vampires my beloved <33
Hypothetical Vampire IF RO Speedrun:
REMY. m/f/nb. MC's sire, and the character featured in that little snippet. A gambler who takes a calculated risk in turning MC before Soleil gets the chance. Deeply addicted to danger and looooves pushing buttons. Snarky and possessive and manipulative and deeply cringe.
SOLEIL. m/f. The head of the coven. Obsessed with MC, quite irritated that Remy turned them before they got the chance. Grungy glam rock nightmare of a person. Hedonistic and charismatic and dangerous, wants to corrupt MC more than anything. Absolutely unhinged, it's unclear to MC why, exactly, they're the one in charge.
DANE/DANA. m/f. MC's (maybe overly) gregarious neighbor who helps them move in. Was already a bit Too Friendly, but after MC gets turned into a vampire it's 10x worse. Mostly because they're secretly a werewolf, and a vampire hunter, and they want to use MC to infiltrate and destroy both local vampire covens <3
MELODY. f. A tragic soul and member of MC's coven who likes draping herself over furniture and sighing dramatically. Princess trapped in a tower vibes. She wants MC to be her knight. Insists that she hates vampirism and being a killer and wants to be cured. Won't you come save her? Please? She's not lying. Promise.
ISAAC. m. A covenless vampire (a rarity in this city). Cold and closed-off, aloof and disparaging. An intellectual who cares more about unlocking arcane secrets than he does vampire politics. Oh yeah--because he's also a warlock. Currently being sponsored by the Enemy to find a cure for vampirism. Morally ambiguous king.
( and probably a sixth fling/hookup option but IDK yet we'll see )