concept: the show supernatural but with the mcelroy brothers
Griffin: So Scraps I noticed that the ghost is still sort of… Travis: …? Griffin: It’s. Y'know… Travis: … A ghost? Griffin: … Travis: … Griffin: *sigh* Travvy the fucking ghost is still here. It’s fucking hAUnting our asses right now. It’s - it - it wants my soul, Travvy. It wants my delicious, sUcCuLeNt soul. Travis: I mean I salted and burnt the remains, I don’t - I dunno what to tell you. Griffin: Did you? Travis: Yeah! I– Griffin: You– Travis: I did, I– Griffin: You sure? Because if you did, then the ghost would be - uh, it would be ah-PaSsEd ON, ah-My DuDe, it’d– Justin: Hey Travis. Griffin: – have sloughed off– Travis: *laughing* I salted – Justin: Travis, what if– Griffin: this mortal FuCkInG cOiL– Travis: I did! I salted and I burnt the body, I did. Justin: Travis let me ask you this. Travis: What Justin. Justin: … You used regular salt? Travis: I used regular… ahhh, it was, I mean it’s *technically*– Justin: Travis. Travis: I maaaayyyy have used your Margaritaville margarita salt BUT IT’S Griffin: *bursting into laughter* Justin: You did WHAT Travis: IT’S TECHNICALLY JUST SALT JUSTIN Griffin: HA HA HAAAA!! *clapping* Justin: Why the FUCK would you use– Griffin: Was it fucking JImMy BUFFET’S body you burned?! Like– Travis: Look, I didn’t have any other salt on hand, Justin’s always got it in a cupboard somewhere, I just Justin: Ugh. Travis look, what you’ve done is– Griffin: *gasping* ohhh my Jesus Justin: -it’s unacceptable but I can’t fault you because, yes, you’re right, it is technically– Travis: ThAnK you, – Justin: –I MEAN it’s *technically* just salt but it’s like Travis: Yes! Yes, it is. Justin: Whatever. You salted the remains. You burnt the body. Travis: Yes, THAT I definitely did, that part’s easy. Griffin: *snickering* ’d'you fuckin- you fuckin douse ‘em in some Parrot Bay first? Travis: No, Griffin, I used lighter fluid thank you very much Justin: And we’re sure– we’re SURE there aren’t any other little… bits and pieces of our dearly departed sorta… *hangin out* somewhere? Griffin: Ohhh, I see what you’re sayin, you’re sayin’ we got a - a rogue appendage situation on our hands. Travis: I mean, it *looked* whole when I was, y'know– Griffin: *laughing* When - when you were making it into a corpse-ARITA? Travis: *laughing* A piña corpse-lada! Griffin: Oh, *very* good! Travis: Thank you! Justin: K but like. You don’t know if some creepy motherfucker has a lock of duder’s hair tucked away in his desk drawer, do you. Travis: How would I know that Justin. Justin: You can’t, that’s what I’m saying! We can’t know that, we can’t just go door to door through this entire town asking for locks of hair and fingernails and, and, Griffin: “Excuse me ma'am did you and this, this super-dead phantom boy ever make a wish on one of his sweet, *delicate*, fallen eyelashes? Ma'am I need you to tell me where that eyelash is currently it’s SUPER important and definitely not a fetish of mine.” Travis: Oh maybe we just need to find all the nose pickins he left behind! Griffin: Ew, Travis! Travis: I’m just sayin! Justin: !! …. ………………. …….….. …. unless. Griffin: UNlesss….. Travis: unLESS!
