drabble synopsis 𓂃 ໒꒱ you accidentally kick jack in the crotch while you’re asleep, and he’s left questioning whether he’ll ever recover. (0.7k)
pairing 𓂃 ໒꒱ jack abbot x fem!reader.
content 𓂃 ໒꒱ established relationship, fluff, sleepy antics, dry jack humour.
Jack had come to the conclusion that you somehow became an entirely different person once you fell asleep.
Awake, you were always looking for him. Whether it was your hand finding his while you watched a movie or absentmindedly leaning against him while you brushed your teeth, you always seemed to gravitate towards him without thinking.
Asleep, however, you were a genuine hazard.
It never started that way. Every night, you’d curl into his side, stealing his body heat and mumbling something incoherent before drifting off. He’d lie awake for another ten or fifteen minutes, listening to the steady rhythm of your breathing until he was certain you were asleep.
Then the adventure began.
Sometimes you stole every inch of the blanket. Other nights, you’d somehow end up lying across the mattress at an angle that defied basic human anatomy. More than once he’d woken up with your arm thrown over his face or your foot pressed into his ribs, leaving him wondering how someone so peaceful looking could move so much without ever waking.
Jack usually found it amusing.
Usually.
Tonight was no different.
You’d fallen asleep tucked beneath his arm, one hand loosely gripping the front of his shirt as if letting go wasn’t an option. Jack smiled to himself, brushing a few strands of hair away from your face before settling back into the pillows. The apartment was quiet, the only sound the occasional hum of the heater and your soft breathing against his chest.
It didn’t take long before he started drifting off himself, but then you moved.
At first, it was nothing more than a sleepy stretch, your shoulder nudging against his side before your legs shifted beneath the blankets.
Jack barely noticed.
The next movement came out of nowhere.
Your knee drove straight up between his legs.
The air disappeared from his lungs so quickly he wasn’t even sure he’d made a sound until a strangled groan escaped him. Every muscle in his body locked as he instinctively curled forward, one hand gripping the comforter while the other clamped over his face.
“Jesus…”
The sound startled you awake almost instantly. You blinked blearily into the darkness, pushing yourself up on one elbow, your hair sticking out in every direction as you looked over at him.
“Jack?” you mumbled. “What’s wrong?”
He stayed exactly where he was for another few seconds, taking one slow, painful breath before finally answering.
“…You got me.”
Your brows knitted together in sleepy confusion. “Whhat do you mean?”
“You kneed me.”
You frowned, still trying to wake yourself up, “where?”
Jack slowly cracked one eye open to look at you. “If I have to answer that, I’m even more concerned.”
It took a second before the realisation crashed into you, “oh my god.” Your hand flew to your mouth as your eyes widened. “Jack, I’m so sorry.”
“I know you didn’t mean to,” he said, finally managing to lean back against the headboard. He let out a slow breath, still wincing. “Doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
You were already reaching for his arm, your brows pinched together with guilt. “I was asleep, I swear. I didn’t even know I moved.”
“I know.” He turned his hand over so your fingers laced together, giving yours a small squeeze. “You’re okay.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I’ll survive.”
You searched his face for a second, trying to figure out whether he was saying that just to make you feel better. “Are you sure?”
Jack glanced down at the blankets, then back at you, one corner of his mouth twitching despite himself as he shrugged. “I’d still like to have kids with you someday, babe,” he said dryly. “So maybe we retire the flying knees.”
A horrified noise left you before another apology could tumble out, but Jack was already chuckling under his breath.
“Hey.” He brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear before tugging you back against his chest, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m kidding.”
“You better be.”
“I am.” His hand resumed its lazy path up and down your back, waiting until he felt you finally relax against him. He let the room fall quiet again, listening to your breathing even out as you settled against him.
After a moment, he looked down at you with a smile he couldn’t quite hide. As much as he knew he probably shouldn’t, he couldn’t help slipping in one last joke. “I’m still trying to cope with the fact my girlfriend nearly ended my bloodline in her sleep.”
“Jack,” you murmured in warning, your eyes still closed.
He only laughed, pressing another kiss to the top of your head before settling comfortably back into the pillows with you tucked against his side.
Have any of you ever heard of the hummingbird moths we get in Britain?
So, I thought I saw a hummingbird last year. It was much bigger than a bug could be, I thought, and it hovered around flowers and looked like it had feathers.
I got pretty close but it was never still enough to see clearly. Then, when I told my parents they said "oh! it was probably a moth!" and I was baffled for a long time. Like, how could a moth look like and act so much like a hummingbird?
Until I googled "hummingbirds in the UK" and this fucker comes up:
Everyone, meet the hummingbird hawk-moth; one of the weirdest and coolest cases of convergent evolution on this planet.
This is the kinda thing I'd see in fiction and go "oooh cool, bug hummingbird! Wish we had those on earth!" But we do. We really do have them on earth!! Isn't that nuts?!?!?
Did you know? Fireflies aren’t flies at all: they're beetles! Of all of the insects in the world, fireflies are among the few to have evolved an extraordinary language of light. Many fireflies use a system of flashes in some of the same ways we use words: to attract, to say, “Here I am,” even to deceive. They emit light from a tiny organ, called a lantern, on the underside of their abdomen, where a biochemical reaction takes place within specialized cells called photocytes. The reaction releases energy in the form of light.
Another day, another doggy you can’t pet. Meet the dhole (Cuon alpinus). Found widely across parts of Asia from India to China to Indonesia, this social canid typically lives in groups of up to 12 individuals. Sometimes it even socializes with other groups of dholes to form “super packs” of more than 30 members! Teamwork enables these hunters to take down prey ten times their size. And unlike many other species of canid, dholes allow their pups to feed first on kills. Their diet includes pigs, deer, and buffalo.
You’ve heard of woolly mammoths, but what about woolly tapirs? 🤔Also known as the mountain tapir (Tapirus pinchaque), this species can be found in the cloud forests of South America’s Andes Mountains. Adults can weigh up to 400 lbs (182 kg), and their thick fur coats help insulate them from the cold temperatures of their habitat. Unfortunately, this endangered species is threatened by human activity including hunting and deforestation.
Photo: Edwin Múnera Chavarría, CC BY-NC 4.0, iNaturalist
Meet the rusty-spotted cat (Prionailurus rubiginosus). Known as the “hummingbird of cats,” this species is one of the world’s smallest felines, reaching weights of only 3.5 lbs (1.6 kg). Primarily nocturnal, this cat uses its large eyes to hunt under the cover of darkness. It can be spotted in parts of Southeast Asia including India, Sri Lanka, and Nepal.
Photo: Cloudtail the Snow Leopard, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0, flickr
Hey, Shawn. What do you mean Jack is on “borrowed time”? Because I really don’t like that wording and there’s totally not a pit in my stomach about it or anything
Heyy, part two was amazinggg! Thank you so much. Your writing is brilliant, truly! The way you wrote abbot was perfect and him getting to beat up that asshole was soo satisfying and such a surprise as well! Again thank you for writing out my ideas and I’m so glad you enjoyed doing so as well!
~e
Thank you so much! That means a lot. I'm honestly really happy with how it turned out. I'm always trying to do the character justice, so it's good to know my portrayal of him translates the way I see it in my head.
Also, yes writing that Abbot scene was so fun and satisfying for me too. I hoped it would hit the same for everyone who read the first part as well :)
Bonded Through Service - Jack Abbot x Reader (Part 2)
Description: Struggling with the aftermath of sharing so much of herself with Jack, insecurity gets the better of her. He notices the way she avoids eye contact with him. But he doesn't push boundaries. He lets her have the control she needs. It only gets more complicated when she realises her growing feelings for him.
Warnings: Use of y/n and she/her. References to past sexual assault and harassment. Talks of death and grief, y/n talks about Henry. Deeply insecure and misogynistic men. Sexual comments and innuendos are said about women. Jack beats the shit out of someone, but I won't say who. Poor communication skills on y/n's part.
Notes: Part 2 is here!
To anon, Hey! I loved writing this fic. I hope it's everything you wanted it to be.
And to everyone else, as per part 1, this fic contains heavy themes. If any of the warnings above make you uncomfortable, don't feel pressured to read it. Reader's discretion is advised.
Enjoy :)
_________
Something that nobody talked about experiencing sexual assault was what happened during interactions with men after it happened. Sometimes she was fine, other times she randomly got nervous and fidgeted a lot. Something so simple as a hand gesture could set her off for reasons she didn't understand until she remembered that it reminded her of a hand reaching to grab her. She had never talked about what happened to her with anyone. But she thought if she were to confide in anyone, it would be a woman she trusted. Not a man. There was a certain shame she felt inside after her conversation with Jack. She wondered what he thought of her now. If he worried about her or doubted her. Or maybe he was just too polite to tell her she was overreacting. That she shouldn't be so sensitive.
She watched him a lot. Not intentionally, of course. He didn't behave any differently than before. But now that she was paying more attention to him, she noticed more things about him. Like how he interacted with people. Patients, nurses, kids, cleaners, anyone around him. She didn't hear any complaints about his bedside manner. He never seemed to lose his nerve, and she'd seen him have a lot of conversations. Telling someone their loved one didn't make it. He was so empathetic and patient, gave them space to scream and cry. He kept up with the nurse gossip, even if he pretended he wasn't listening. The only time she'd seen him fumble was when an elderly female patient hit on him.
She knew exactly why she told him when she really thought about it. It made it even more confusing whenever she talked to him. She considered him a good friend now, but she supposed there was no choice. He had been nothing but good to her.
It was very late into the shift. Around 2 a.m., the last y/n checked. She was exhausted, the kind that seeped into your bones and stayed there. But there was a lull in the busy night, and she took the chance to restock the rooms as they were running low on gloves and other things. The storage room was always so organised, which she was forever grateful for. There was something about it that scratched part of her brain just right.
She, however, cursed whoever decided that the glove boxes would be kept on the top shelf.
She stood there for about five minutes, deciding if it was worth it getting up there without a ladder. It was possible. The shelves were climb-able. And with no ladder in sight, the decision was made.
Jack walked into quite the sight when he opened the door, narrowly dodging a glove box hitting his head.
"Oh, shit." She winced, watching the box she threw backwards almost hit him. "Sorry."
He blinked. "You'd give Gloria a heart attack if she saw you up there, kid."
She pursed her lips, looking down at him while holding on to the shelf she was on.
"What are you doing?".
"Lena said we needed more gloves."
"Ah, well... did you know there's a stepladder around here somewhere?".
"I did. But I don't know where it is."
Jack raised an eyebrow, then pointed at the wall to her right. "Did you try there?".
Following his gaze, she saw the stepladder in the corner. "Oh...".
He chuckled. "Hold on."
She watched him go over to the corner and grab the stepladder, picking it up with one hand before bringing it over and setting it down beneath her. He kept a hand on it to make sure it wouldn't tip over or anything. Then he smiled up at her. "You can step back now."
"Jack, wait."
"It's alright, I got you."
He let her hold onto his shoulder as she stepped back onto the ladder. When she was safely on the ground, he turned to look at her. "Okay?".
She nodded, bending down to grab the boxes of gloves. Beside her, Jack knelt to do the same and grabbed what she couldn't get.
"Oh, thanks."
Jack was aware of her eyes on him. But the thing was, he didn't mind. He knew it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with what she told him. Which he was still pissed about, but he promised he wouldn't do anything if she didn't want him to. And she didn't want him to, so he respected that. He could feel her gaze on him, and he pretended not to notice because he didn't want to make her feel bad for doing it. He wasn't stupid. He knew why she was doing it, so he didn't mind.
But knowing that, he started doing things to remind her that she was safe. First of all, he didn't breathe a word of it to anyone. Then there were things like when he noticed she was struggling with male patients. He'd be there to either take over if necessary or to keep her right. He never shouted across a room to her, avoided touching her unless she initiated it, and gave her most of the control in traumas. Unless a situation truly called for it, he just stood back and let her work if they were in a trauma together, trusting her. He noticed she worked better like that. With nobody crowding her or looking over her shoulder.
"Jack."
"Mhm?".
He turned his head to glance at her as they walked together towards the nurses station to drop off the gloves.
"I have a patient I need to see. Could you... come with me?".
"Yeah. Of course I can. What's the case?".
He caught the nervous twitch of her fingers as she pursed her lips, not answering him at first.
"Y/n." He called softly, making her stop walking and turn to look at him. Though she didn't look directly at him. "What is it?".
She sighed. "I have a... sexual assault victim, and I'm the only SANE available. I said to Lena that I'd do the exam, but I haven't been able to go in myself."
Jack's expression fell. "Oh... hey, hey. Look at me."
She slowly did as told, meeting his hazel gaze.
"You don't have to do it. I'll get someone else."
"No. No. I... I can do it."
"Y/n-".
"I can do it." She insisted, making him frown. He regarded her for a moment. "Of course you can. But I'm saying I don't think it's a good idea."
"Are you telling me as my attending or as my friend?".
He shrugged. "Can it be both?".
"I just think maybe I need to do it, for like... exposure therapy or something."
He shook his head. "That's not how it works, kid. You know that during the exam you cannot leave the room."
"I know, Jack."
"What if I do the exam and you can assist me?".
She furrowed her eyebrows. "You're a SANE?".
"Mhm."
"She asked for a female examiner, though. And... you can't just disappear."
"I'm sorry, y/n. But I can't let you do this."
She frowned. "But I-."
"Please." He sighed. "Just listen to me. I understand why you might think it could help you, but I can promise you it won't. I would rather have you mad at me for not letting this happen than watch you go in there and realise you can't handle it."
She paused. After a moment of thought, she realised he was right.
"Okay." She muttered. "I'm not mad at you."
"Good. Now, I will deal with this. You go find something else to do or take a break." He gently steered her away from the room.
"Thank you, Jack." She replied quietly.
At the end of her shift, y/n snuck up to the roof of the hospital. She was sitting cross-legged near the edge but not close enough to worry anyone if they came up. She was just taking a moment to breathe before she went home. The cool air on her skin helped as she watched the rest of the city wake up.
She heard the door behind her open. Her natural instinct was to turn around even though she knew it was him. She wasn't sure how, really. But somehow, she'd just been so attuned to him that she could tell he was there. It wasn't like he made it obvious. He was quiet, or maybe it was the sudden feeling of ease she got whenever he was around.
"Hey, you're in my spot." Jack said as he approached her.
She didn't respond audibly, turning back to the view. He let out a quiet sigh as he stopped beside her, slipping his hands into his pockets. Then he glanced down at her. "You okay?".
She nodded, not saying anything. But she didn't have to. He was good at reading her.
The two of them stayed there for a while, neither saying a word. Her sitting, him standing. When he shifted his weight, subtly adjusting his prosthetic leg, he noticed her flinch slightly.
It made him pause and look down at her properly.
Then his eyes widened a little. "Shit. Sorry, honey."
Carefully, he lowered himself to sit beside her, being mindful of his leg before settling. Turning her head, she looked at him.
"What are you sorry for?".
"Uh... nothing. Forget it." He sighed, reaching over her lap to gently squeeze her hand.
"Jack."
"Yeah?".
"You called me honey."
His eyes closed briefly, dipping his head as he let out a breathy chuckle. "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It just slipped out."
The corner of her lips twitched, giggling softly. "It's okay."
Moving closer to him, she rested her head on his shoulder. Under her cheek, he adjusted to accommodate her and put his arm around her. "Tired?".
She nodded against him, making him smile to himself. Her fingers twitched against his hand, reminding her he was still holding it. She felt the bump of the ring on his left finger, catching her attention.
She thought about how close they were. He was warm and she was tired, she was just resting her head. And clearly he didn't mind or he would've said something. Then she thought about the last time she let a man into her space. It wasn't by her choice. But she chose to move closer to Jack. Her friend, but still a man.
Feeling his ring, she thought of his wife. Would she be okay with him sitting with her like this? Part of her felt guilty, like she was doing something wrong.
She wondered why it felt nice.
Jack made her feel safe, was the only answer she could come up with. His presence had this calming effect on her that nobody else did. It felt like as long as he was there, nothing would happen to her.
It had been a long, long time since she felt like that.
She swallowed thickly, lifting her head. Sensing that something had changed, he removed his arm from around her.
"Y/n?".
She looked at him as tears blurred her vision. His expression softened. "Hey, you're okay. Is it too much?".
She nodded, trying to wipe her eyes. He moved to put some space between them. "There, see? We're alright."
Her grip on his hand tightened, not letting him let go. So he didn't, relaxing his hand and letting her squeeze it.
Tears slipped down her cheeks.
"Shh, shh." He cooed. "You tell me, okay? Don't let me guess what you want."
She sniffled. "I... I don't know."
"Hey, I'm not touching you anymore. Just look at me, that's all I need you to do."
She did as told.
"That's it. Good." He smiled softly, showing her that the only part of him still touching her was his hand, which she chose to do. "I'm not doing anything until you tell me. I promise."
"Okay, uh... can you take me home?".
"Yeah, of course."
The drive to her place was quiet. The radio played softly, filling the silence between them a little. Neither of them spoke. It was comfortable, but y/n's mind was still racing.
Her attention was drawn to him occasionally tapping the steering wheel with his thumb. She eyed his ring again. It was hard to ignore it.
When he parked the car outside her house, he got out and walked her to her door.
He sighed. "Well, I'll see you later. Get some sleep."
She turned to him, watching as he walked away.
She frowned. "Jack."
He paused in his step, turning back around. Then he tilted his head.
"Wait."
She took two steps towards him, then put her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. The tension left his body as he accepted the embrace, hugging her back loosely. He didn't tighten his grip or anything.
"What's this for?". He mumbled. "Hm?".
She sighed, unsure of that herself. But she knew it was needed.
"I don't know." She replied honestly. "It's all just... confusing."
His expression softened, running his hand down her arm. "Okay."
He let her hold on to him for a while. It seemed like he understood that she was seeking comfort from him. And he was happy to provide it.
She pulled back a little just to look at him. He watched as a single tear slowly trailed down her cheek. His hand lifted to gently wipe it away with his thumb before it could reach her jaw. She didn't flinch.
"I don't want to do it alone anymore, Jack." Her voice cracked.
Her admission broke his heart.
"We'll figure it out together, okay? I won't let that happen."
"I can't decide if I hate that I told you."
"Yeah, I'm starting to get that." He sighed. "If it helps, I'm glad you did."
"You are? Why?".
"Because you needed to tell someone. And I'm happy to be that person for you."
She frowned.
"Look, I know how difficult this is. I'm not gonna pretend it's easy because it's not. It's weird and ugly and confusing and scary. And you can pull me closer or keep me at a safe distance, but I am not going anywhere. I promise you that."
"Why are you doing this?". She couldn't help asking. "Why are you helping me, Jack?".
"Because I care about you." Was the simple answer. "I care about you too much to see you hurting and not doing anything about it."
Her head tilted slightly. "Because of what happened to me?".
"Not just that. You think no one notices, but that's not true. I do. I know you regret telling me."
"I don't - Jack, it's not you-".
"Please let me finish."
She closed her mouth, frowning slightly.
"I know it's not me, y/n. You don't have to convince me of that. I see the way you look at me sometimes, and I wish I could take away every bad thing that happened to you so you don't have to live with the pain. I wish I could make you look at me without second guessing. I hate that I can't do that for you because some fucking guy, who's still walking around out there, hurt you that much."
"It's not your job to fix it."
"If you look at me and see him, and in any way think I would do something like that, then it is up to me to fix that. Because I know I would never hurt anyone the way he did. But if you think -."
"Jack, stop."
"What?".
"I don't look at you and see him. I look for you because I feel safer... with you around." Her voice trailed off.
"I- wait, what?".
She shrugged. "I feel safe with you. And, to be honest, most of the time, I don't know what to do with that because I didn't expect to feel that again."
He sighed. "Still... you're allowed to trust me and feel safe with me, and feel all those other things at the same time. I don't blame you. I said I'd do anything I could to help you, and I meant it."
"What do you want me to do?".
He shook his head. "Don't let me choose. You tell me what you want to do."
"Well, I don't - it happened over a year ago. I don't think there's anything to do."
"There is." He hums. "You can press charges."
"I don't have any proof to do that."
"You have me." He reminded her. "I have connections. I can make some phone calls. I'll get you a lawyer, anything you need. Just say the word."
"They won't believe it, Jack. Nobody will believe that a US army soldier assaulted me."
"Yes, they will. I promise."
"You can't promise that."
He sighed. "Please just think about it. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. But you also don't have to live like this anymore."
He vaguely gestured to her, looking at her like she was worth something. And maybe that was when she first realised what was happening.
"Okay." She mumbled. "I'll think about it."
She had the next few days off work, so she did take the time to think about what he said. She knew he was right. But that didn't make it easier. She thought it would be better to just forget about it and move on.
But there was a picture of Henry on the shelves in her living room. In the photo he had that familiar crooked smile on his face, the one she knew meant he was holding in a laugh.
She remembered because she was the one who took it. He just looked so at ease and comfortable.
God, she missed him.
She wondered what he would want her to do.
All throughout her life, she had been used to men who were insecure, took up too much space, were too loud and unaware of anyone else around them. Men who disregarded feelings and called her too sensitive and that she had to toughen up.
Of course she knew men who weren't like that. Her dad was a fire battalion chief, and he was the best but that meant she grew up in the kind of environment where women weren't treated equally or fairly.
Henry didn't treat her like that. He was her only male friend that didn't want anything more with her or expected anything more than that. And she valued that friendship so much. But she could admit he didn't always know how to stop other guys from saying their sleazy innuendos and inappropriate comments.
The difference with Jack was that she knew he didn't have to do much. She'd already seen him shut a guy up with nothing more than a warning and a glare.
She thought about it until her head started to hurt. And she could only come up with one conclusion.
The next time she saw Jack, it was at work the following week. But it was only briefly as he technically wasn't on shift. He was on SWAT duty, which was insane to her.
When he had a moment to spare, he caught up to her after seeing her head to the ambulance bay.
In all his SWAT gear, he walked up to her. Her eyes caught the blood stains on his vest first, and she frowned slightly.
"What happened?".
"Oh, uh... bank robbery went sideways. I tagged along."
"On your day off?".
He chuckled. "I got bored."
"Some people bake or read a book or play a sport before they resort to SWAT." She eyed the stains on his uniform.
His smile softened a little. "I'm fine, if that's what concerns you."
She sighed quietly, nodding once.
She ignored the way he filled out his uniform. She didn't want to think about the defined biceps hidden under his jacket or the way his thighs looked thicker. Or the way he was looking at her while wearing it.
She swallowed thickly, turning her head to look away from him. "I... have a patient to see."
Before she could head back inside, his voice stpped her.
"Hey."
Reluctantly she listened to him, pausing in her step.
"Do you want to get breakfast later?".
No. Absolutely not. You don't know what you're doing to me.
She furrowed her eyebrows. "When?".
"After your shift. I'll come back here and pick you up."
What a terrible idea.
"Uh... yeah, sure."
He smiled. "Great. See you then."
She had no idea why she said yes. She shouldn't have. It would only make it worse. If she had spent any more time alone with him, she knew she'd start feeling more things. And that could not happen.
The next nine hours flew by. Which was something she never thought was possible. It was normally so slow during the night. But before she knew it the sky outside was brightening and Jack messaged her to say he was on his way.
She was tired but didn't feel like death. Which she saw as a plus. In the locker room at the end of the shift, she changed into spare clothes, spritzed on some perfume to cover the smell of hand sanitiser and sick people, and fixed her hair.
She said her usual hellos and goodbyes to dayshift coming in and clocked out.
She found Jack in the parking lot, leaning against his truck waiting for her. He looked fresher than he did earlier, but a black short-sleeved t-shirt and dark cargo trousers replaced the SWAT uniform.
He smiled at her as she walked over to him. He had conveniently parked not too far away from the hospital doors.
Was this a - nope. It's just two friends getting breakfast.
"Ready to go?".
She nodded. "Yeah."
He opened the passenger door for her, letting her in first before getting in the driver's side. Once the doors were closed, he turned to her. "So, how was the rest of your shift?".
She shrugged. "It was okay. Nothing too traumatic."
"Yeah?". He chuckled. "Good."
"I assume you went home and got some sleep."
"I got a couple of hours."
She nodded. "Where are we going?".
"Well, I thought I'd let you choose."
She froze a little with the burden of decisions.
"But -." He gave her a reassuring smile. "To avoid you having an aneurysm, I narrowed it down to two options for you to choose from. So, there is the diner down the street that is usually quiet around this time. Or the coffee shop I know you like."
She blinked, looking at him in surprise. "You remember that?".
"Of course. I also know you don't go there for the coffee. You like it because it's quiet and they play music from a record player. And you like their pastries."
She had no idea how he knew that. But part of her liked that he paid enough attention to. He was right, of course.
He saw the way her eyes lit up and nodded. "Coffee shop it is."
The coffee shop was cosy inside. The walls were painted a calming dark green colour, accented with lighter wooden tables, flooring and furniture. Fairy lights hung from the ceiling. Vintage posters and pictures decorated the walls. There were a few potted plants around. The booths were comfy and the record player in the corner added a nice, classic atmosphere.
Jack had only been here once, and that was only because she told him about it months ago. He immediately knew why she liked it.
There were a few other people in, but not many.
Y/n was happy to see the usual booth she sat at was vacant.
She was reluctant to let him pay, but he was already pulling out his card after they ordered tea, coffee, and a couple of pastries between them.
He let her have the booth seat. It was better for his leg anyway, but he didn't tell her that. It was nice to see her in an environment she was comfortable in. He knew that he made a good choice.
The two of them were sitting there for a while, talking idly about everything and nothing. He was good at holding conversations. She was not. Which he was still mildly amused by.
She wasn't awkward, per se. But he could tell when she couldn't keep up. So he slowed down for her, kept it easy and light, and let her control the pace.
"So...". He hums. "Did you think about what I said?".
She nodded. "I did."
"And?".
"I don't think I can do it, Jack."
His head tilted, not in judgement. But in curiosity.
"Do what?".
"I can't press charges."
He didn't get upset or disappointed. If anything, his expression softened more.
"Can I ask what's stopping you?".
She sighed, sitting back against the booth and fidgeting with her fingers under the table.
"I just... I keep thinking, even if I did, it won't change anything. For me anyway. It doesn't take away what he did to me."
He sighed. "I know, sweetheart."
"Would it even be worth it? I mean, let's say I do press charges, I somehow win the case, and the judge rules him guilty. What would that get him? He probably won't even get convicted, and I still have to live with it."
It hurt his heart to hear her say that, but he couldn't exactly deny it.
It was an unfortunate reality.
"Okay." He replied softly. "If you're sure."
She nodded. "I'm sure."
Resting her elbow on the table, she held her head up with her palm. He caught her just as she was drifting off in thought.
"What are you thinking about?".
"Sometimes I think about what Henry would've wanted me to do."
"Well, I know I didn't know him. But I'm sure he would've been proud of whatever you decide to do."
She smiled slightly.
"You wanna tell me about him?".
Her lips pursed as she quietened for a moment.
"Come on. I told you about my wife. I can see it in your eyes. You want to."
She supposed it was only fair.
"Okay... yeah. Sure."
He smiled, shifting to make himself more comfortable. He didn't rush her, though. He waited patiently for her to speak.
She wasn't really sure where to start, and he could tell. So he helped her out a little bit.
"Was he your boyfriend?". He asked carefully, gauging her reaction.
She shook her head. "No. We were just friends."
He wasn't demanding. He was coaxing. There was a difference.
She sighed quietly. "My dad was a battalion chief. And one of his lieutenants was Henry's dad. We sort of grew up together. Both of us had other friend groups in school, but we always looked out for each other. It was like an unspoken thing between us."
Jack held on to every word, paying extra attention to listen to her with no distractions.
"It wasn't the easiest environment for a girl to grow up in. But Henry made it better. He was always good at distracting me and making me feel better. He signed up for the army after dropping out of college. He never knew what he wanted to do, but he was excited about it."
"What were you doing?".
"I was training to be a paramedic."
"So, you didn't go to medical school?".
"Of course I did." She smiled slightly. "I was still in high school when I did a student paramedic programme."
"Holy shit." His eyebrows rose, making her chuckle.
"Yeah, then I went to med school. After graduating, I signed up for MSF. It was purely coincidence that Henry and I ended up working in the same camp."
"Well, that explains a lot. No wonder you work so well in the hospital."
She rolled her eyes but smiled slightly. "Medical stuff might be the only thing I know I'm good at. I've done some version of it my whole life."
"You're incredible at what you do."
"Shut up."
"No, I'm serious. I mean, I knew you had more experience coming in than other residents, but it is really impressive to watch you work. I've seen you figure out traumas better than I ever could."
The more he spoke, the more she could feel a heat bloom on her cheeks that she prayed he wouldn't notice. She hoped that the soft lighting of the coffee shop disguised it.
"Jack, stop." The shy tone of her voice made him pause and he chuckled in amusement.
"Take the compliment. It's true."
She sighed, looking away from him to hopefully find something easier to look at. "Thank you."
"So, what was Henry like?".
She hums, meeting his eyes again. "He was protective of me. He treated me like I was his younger sister. Teased me a lot, but always there when I needed him. He was braver than me, though. He was adventurous and always wanted to try new things. So, really it wasn't a surprise to anyone that he decided to join the army."
"Sounds like I would've gotten along with him."
She smiled, nodding. "I think so. He would probably join SWAT as a hobby, too."
He chuckled. "Back to that again, are we?".
"I just don't understand why."
"What would you rather be doing with your spare time?".
She shrugged. "I don't know... sleep?".
Laughing softly, he nodded. "Okay, fair enough."
She sighed, knowing internally this was getting dangerous. The way he was looking at her didn't help.
Like she was worth something.
"Jack."
"Mhm?".
"Why do you care so much?".
She was picking at the skin around her nails. He sat up, reaching across the table to offer her his hand. She let him hold it and he rubbed his thumb over the back of it.
His soft hazel eyes were impossible to avoid.
"Why's it so hard for you to believe that I care about you?".
"I believe it. I just... don't understand."
"I don't think it's something you have to understand, y/n." He said gently. "I care about you. So, get used to it."
"You care about Robby. I don't see you doing any of this for him."
"You'd be surprised at what I've done for Robby. But... yeah, you're probably right."
"So, why do it for me?".
He shrugged. "Honestly? I don't have an answer for that."
That was the first time he lied to her. He knew exactly why he was doing this, but figured it wouldn't be the smartest idea to come out with the truth. He couldn't do that to her.
"But knowing you trust me is kind of a big deal. So I don't want to take that for granted. If you're choosing to trust me, then I have to make sure you know it was a good choice. Right?".
"I guess so." She replied quietly, pretending she couldn't feel the butterflies fluttering in her stomach. She wanted to roll her eyes. It was ridiculous. She was a smart, independent, grown woman. Yet, somehow, he managed to make her feel like a middle school girl with her first crush.
It was even more frustrating that he seemed to be completely unaware of it.
His hand gently squeezed hers, making her aware of his ring again. There was an overwhelming amount of guilt that washed over her. She shouldn't be feeling any of this for him. He was just being a good friend, like Henry.
It got easier to avoid him for a while since he was picking up more SWAT shifts, meaning he wasn't around as much.
There had been an incident that he'd been called to. A train collision with multiple severe injuries and casualties. He heard it on the police scanner.
This was where he had to stay sharp and focused. And being an attending physician, he was trusted to make decisions and take control of the situation.
He was looking over the list of who he was teaming up with to familiarise himself with names. Most of the guys he knew already had been working with them before. But one name caught his eye.
It stood out to him for no particular reason other than he didn't know it. But then he paused and looked at it again. It only took about a second for him to realise why it was so familiar.
It was easy to figure out who he was. Not only because he was the only unfamiliar face. But Jack could tell just by the way he spoke and joked around like it wasn't a serious situation they were walking into. Clearly over compensating. Or maybe it was just nerves coming out in an odd way. But he didn't really feel like giving the benefit of the doubt.
He mostly ignored him because if he got involved, he wasn't sure he could keep his cool. And he had to focus on the task at hand.
Once they arrived on scene, he took in the surroundings and quickly decided what was to happen. Nobody questioned his orders, just did as told because they trusted him.
The new guy seemed reluctant, though.
"Why should we take orders from you?".
There was a brief pause in the air as Jack turned to him. The tension so thick it could be cut with a knife.
"Look around. Do you think it's appropriate to start this conversation now?".
"Well, I don't know you, man. I didn't know you were the leader."
"You just got here. I earned their trust a long time ago. You're entitled to think what you want, but right now this is what's happening. I suggest you show a little respect and do your job so I can do mine."
"Yes, sir."
People were bleeding, screaming and crying around him. But that was still not as painful as that conversation. He shook his head.
In the back of his mind, he thought of y/n. How she must've felt. How scared and confused and violated she would've been.
And he had just come face to face with the very man who made her feel that way.
It had been hours. Jack was covered in blood. Not his own. And his anger was growing by the second. He had to take a minute to compose himself. His eyes closed briefly, hand clenching and flexing at his side.
Jack was many things. Patient, compassionate. He could handle a lot. But being in the same vicinity as the man who sexually assaulted y/n was an entirely different thing. Especially when he had to listen to him go on and on about these podcasts for men and general lack of care or awareness of those around him.
It got to a point that he had to walk away from him, or he would've punched him in the face.
The chaos had slowed down some. They saved a lot of people, lost a few. He helped a little girl find her mom. He patched up so many people he lost count. He comforted the scared and let a woman cry on his shoulder after she lost her husband.
Yet the whole time, he was just thinking about y/n. And this fucking imbecile he was working with.
The final straw was when they were packing up to leave, and Curtis made a comment about making a move on one of the hot, newly available widows. Something disgusting that Jack wasn't entirely sure he heard it right.
"What the fuck did you just say?".
"Relax, man. It was a joke."
"Wasn't funny."
Curtis rolled his eyes. "Alright, sorry."
Jack was going to leave it at that. He really was. But the smirk on his face pissed him off.
He couldn't help it.
"Curtis, do you know a y/n by any chance?".
He said her last name and watched a hint of recognition wash over his face. "Oh, yeah. You know her?".
"Mhm."
"Ah, well, I see she hasn't lost her thing for military men. She's a good lay, isn't she?".
Jack took a deep breath, exhaling slowly and counting to ten in his head. "She tells a different story."
"Yeah, she would. Don't let her fool you. She liked my dick in her mouth."
That was when he lost it. He barely got to eight.
Was it appropriate for the moment? Not really.
Was it professional? Absolutely not.
But did he care? Not at all.
Beating the shit out of Curtis was rather satisfying. He punched him directly in the face, bringing his good knee up to hit him in the groin to get him on the ground. Curtis fought back, getting a few good hits in. But Jack overpowered him, pinning him down, punching his face until it was black and blue and bleeding.
Until he was dragged off of him. But he didn't fight it, pushing the hands off as he stood back, watching as the rest of the guys helped Curtis up.
"You're lucky I don't shoot you in the fucking mouth."
He walked away after that, knowing himself well enough to know that if he heard Curtis say another word, he absolutely would've pulled his gun out.
By the time he got home that night, he was still seething. Anger bubbled away, itching under his skin. He threw has bag down, grumbling under his breath as he limped about. The prosthesis rubbing and pinching uncomfortably. He took off his jacket and vest, followed by the black undershirt. He grabbed his crutches by the door on the way to the bathroom to clean himself up. His knuckles were split and bleeding a little, sore now that the adrenaline was wearing off.
He sighed heavily, rinsing the blood off in the sink, watching it run into the drain. Then he splashed his face with the cold water before resting his hands on the porcelain.
He turned the shower on and took off the rest of his clothes, removing his prosthetic leg on the toilet seat. With practised ease, he reached for his crutches and hopped into the shower, sitting on the seat he had on there. As the hot water ran over him, he rested his head on the wall behind him and closed his eyes.
_
The next evening, Jack stepped through the doors of the e.d back as the attending physician. Robby was the first to see him.
"Holy shit. What the hell happened to you?".
There was a bandage wrapped around the knuckles of his right hand and a nice bruise on his cheek just under his eye.
He just grunted, shrugging lazily. "Perks of joining the SWAT team."
"Sure you're okay to work?".
"M'fine. Nothing I can't handle. Is y/n in yet?".
"Not that I've seen. Why are you asking?".
"No reason."
Robby looked at him, furrowing his eyebrows. Jack paused, noticing the look on his face. "You got something to say to me, brother?".
"No... not yet anyway."
He rolled his eyes. "Spit it out. What is it?".
"You like her, don't you?".
"Who?".
"Fuck sake, Abbot. You have feelings for y/n?".
There was a slight hesitation before he spoke. That was his tell.
"I don't know where the fuck you got that idea from. But... no, I don't."
Robby tilted his head back, looking up at the ceiling like it frustrated him. "Real subtle, Jack."
"If you two girls aren't done talking about y/n, I suggest you lower your voices." Dana chipped in, interrupting just as y/n approached them.
"Hey kiddo, how's the night shift treating you?".
Y/n smiled as she greeted Dana. Jack turned his head, looking over at her. He sighed quietly, eyes dragging over her like he had to make sure she was physically okay.
Beside him, Robby nudged his arm and lowered his voice. "You're telling me you don't when you look at her like that?".
"Like what?". This time, Jack let the corner of his lips twitch into a sort of smile. Robby glared at him. "I did not give you my resident so you could just fall in love with her."
"Mhm. Go home, Robby." He brushed him off, flicking his middle finger up at him briefly before walking away.
It was a little bit later when he got the chance to catch up to y/n. She hadn't looked at him long enough to notice the bruising on his face, but when he approached her she did a double take.
She frowned. "What happened?".
"Oh, this?". He motioned to his face. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."
"Are you okay?".
"Yeah." He gave her a small smile. "I'm fine. It was an accident. I was helping a woman, and she was panicking. It was my fault, really. I shouldn't have gotten that close to her."
"I saw what happened on the news yesterday. You were there?".
He nodded. "That's where this happened."
She looked like she had more to say, but instead, she turned away from him and looked at the patient chart in her arms.
"Y/n, you okay?".
"Mhm."
She blinked harshly.
His hazel eyes flicked to her, adjusting the way he was standing to lean against the desk.
"Hey." His voice softened as he tried to get her attention back on him. She shook her head, excusing herself. "I have a patient to get back to."
"Y/n-".
He frowned, watching as she quickly walked away from him.
Meanwhile, y/n felt like her heart was going to burst out of her chest.
She couldn't look at him. She couldn't even be near him. Not after the night she had before. Her mind was clouded with guilt. She hadn't slept much after her newfound realisation. She was falling in love with him.
It was the only explanation for most of what she had been feeling.
The guilt was eating away at her bit by bit. Embarrassingly, she'd spent the majority of her day crying and trying to come up with a good excuse for why she couldn't go in. She was a terrible liar, so she knew she wouldn't get away with it. She just sucked it up. But that plan went out the window as soon as she saw him.
She avoided him like he had the plague for weeks. She kept conversations short, gave him poor excuses as to why she couldn't meet him for breakfast, and refused to be anywhere alone with him. He was starting to think he'd done something wrong. He felt sick at the thought of unknowingly making her uncomfortable. But he just couldn't think of anything that would upset her this much.
He was slowly getting tired of her walking away from him.
She knew it was childish. She shouldn't be avoiding him like this. But she thought maybe if she spent less time with him then her feelings would go away. She didn't want to feel this way. The worst part was that she missed him terribly.
One night, during a particularly quiet hour of their shift. The usual lull that happened between 1 and 2 am, Jack looked up from where he was standing and saw y/n come out of the staff bathroom. She was wiping her eyes, and her cheeks were slightly damp. He could see it from all the way across the room.
His posture straightened. Even though she was ignoring him, that didn't erase his concern for her. So he went over to her.
"Y/n."
He saw her falter, but she didn't turn around until he said her name again. He stopped walking when she did, keeping a respectful distance.
"Is everything okay?".
"Uh... y-yeah." He didn't like the way her voice stuttered.
He tilted his head. "Did something happen?".
"No."
"Y/n." His voice turned stern, but the tone didn't change. "Please talk to me."
She frowned. "About what?".
"Well, you've clearly been crying. What happened? Did a patient upset you, or... touch you?".
She sighed, shaking her head. "No, I... it's not that."
"Then what, sweetheart? I can't help if you don't talk to me."
"Can you... not call me that, please?". Her voice cracked. He wanted to move closer to comfort her, but stopped himself.
"Okay." He sighed, playing with his ring, which drew her gaze briefly.
She shook her head quickly. "Um... I need to go."
He didn't say anything, watching once again as she walked away from him. He knew he had to get her to talk to him somehow because this was killing him.
Y/n felt like she couldn't breathe. The only thing she could focus on was her patients. She was good at that part, even if half of her brain was busy with other things. She spent a lot of time with Dr. Ellis and Dr. Shen. She felt at home with them, and they worked well as a team. She liked working with them.
Ellis seemed to have a similar mindset to her, and it brought the two of them closer as friends. They had each other's backs.
And when the quiet turned into chaos, the two of them handled it together.
All things considered, y/n was already having a shitty night. And patients didn't seem to care. They were tired and sick and took it out on her. She could handle that. A worried mother yelled at her for having to keep her child overnight for observation. She could handle that.
Apparently she did have a limit, though. She was dealing with a drunk guy who had come in with a gash on his leg. He wasn't remotely sober, just babbling and singing out of tune. Any other time, she would've thought it was funny. But she was losing her patience.
He was laughing loudly and flirting badly.
Then he grabbed her arm tightly, and she couldn't take it anymore, yelling at him to let go of her.
It was loud enough for Ellis to overhear, and she came in to help, managing to make him let her go. But y/n's chest was already too tight, and she couldn't breathe again.
"Hey, y/n. Come with me." Parker led her out of the room. She was desperately trying not to cry.
"I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout at him."
"It's okay. Why don't you take five?".
She didn't question it or object to the idea. She made her way to the locker room, partially blind due to the tears in her eyes. Her breaths were coming out quick and uneven, and she was trying to calm herself down. Her hand rubbed at her chest absently.
Jack wasn't even looking for her when he walked in. But whatever his intention was, it immediately became less important when he saw her. He stood at the door for a minute, watching cautiously. He didn't want to startle her. But when the tears started falling down her cheeks, that's when he went over to her.
When she noticed him, she tried to wipe her tears and stop them through pure force of will.
"Hey, none of that now. Come here."
He opened his arms, motioning for her to move closer. At that moment, she didn't care and shakily stepped into his embrace. She broke immediately, sobbing into his dark scrubs. He held her close to him, hand coming up to the back of her head.
His other hand rubbed her back soothingly.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I can't- I can't do it. I'm sorry."
"Hey, hey. Shh, just calm down. It's okay." He said softly.
She trembled against him, making him tighten his grip slightly. "I'm right here. Breathe with me, in and out. You're alright."
He gently encouraged her, exaggerating his breaths to help her out.
When she eventually did calm down, he pulled back to look at her. "Please, talk to me. Can you do that for me? Just tell me what's wrong."
"I yelled at a patient."
He shook his head. "Not that. You know what I mean. I haven't stopped caring about you just because you decided to avoid me. That's not how this works."
She frowned.
"Please?". He sighed. "I don't care what it is. Just tell me. Did I do something to upset you?".
She shook her head, sniffling. "No, Jack."
"What is it? Do you want me to start begging? Because I might."
That made her smile slightly. It was just a little bit, but it was enough.
"Okay." She mumbled.
"Let's sit down, shall we?".
The two of them sat on the floor. Jack didn't complain about the twinge he felt from his prosthesis or how his knees would hate him afterwards. He just sat quietly, patiently waiting.
A few more tears ran down her cheeks.
"Hey, look at me."
"I... I can't." She swallowed thickly.
"Please?".
"I'll just cry again."
"It's okay if you do." He told her.
She blinked, wiping at her eyes again. To no avail as more tears just fell down her cheeks. Jack took it upon himself to tilt her chin up with his knuckle, gently making her finally look at him for the first time in weeks.
His thumb brushed over her cheek, wiping her tears away himself.
"Breaking my heart here, kid." He sighed. "What on earth could be so bad that it's making you cry like this?".
"It is bad, Jack." She insisted.
"Can't be."
"It is."
"Try me."
"I thought it would go away, but it hasn't. It just made everything worse."
"Shh, it's okay. Just tell me."
"Jack, please don't hate me." She cried again.
He shook his head. "Not possible."
"I think I'm... in love with you." She sighed.
He paused, blinking once in surprise. He wasn't sure how she thought that made her a bad person. That he'd be upset or mad or hate her.
"And I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't want to ruin things between us. I don't want to feel this way. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"Woah, hey. Hey, hey, slow down. What are you sorry for?".
"Because I feel so guilty about it. I know it's wrong, and I shouldn't feel that way about you."
His eyebrow raised. "Why, exactly?".
Taking her hand, he gently squeezed it and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. Her own thumb caught the edge of his ring. "Because you already had the love of your life."
His eyes softened. "Hey... hey, it's okay."
"It's not okay, Jack."
"You didn't do anything wrong, sweetheart."
"I'm a terrible person."
"Far from it."
"You hate me now, right?".
"Hey, what did I say before? It's not possible. Please listen to me."
She shook her head. "It's not okay."
"Yes, it is." He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "It's okay because I love you too."
Her eyes widened. "What? No, you don't."
He chuckled. "Of course I do."
"But your wife-".
He sighed. "Yes, she was the love of my life. I loved her for a long time. And I never thought I'd meet anyone who would make me feel like that again. But then I met you, and you make me laugh, and you break my heart, and you astonish me. How could I not fall in love with you?".
Her expression softened as she realised he was serious. Her heart dropped to her stomach. She didn't know what to say. This whole time, he looked at her like she meant something, and it turned out she wasn't imagining it.
His head tilted, smiling slightly at her lack of response. "Are you okay?".
She nodded slowly. "I think so. I'm just... processing."
He chuckled softly, bringing her hand up to his lips to kiss the back of it.
"You mean all that?".
"Every word."
She didn't think she had any more tears left to shed, but these ones were for a different reason. He still wordlessly wiped them away.
"So... you yelled at a patient?".
"Yeah." She mumbled. "I wasn't having a very good night."
He smiled, slightly amused. "What happened?".
"It was a mix of things, really. I was overwhelmed and I was dealing with a drunk guy who wouldn't shut up."
He squeezed her hand as his smile softened.
"What?".
"Nothing. I'm just glad you're talking to me."
She rolled her eyes. "I was unprofessional."
He sighed. "I think worse crimes have been committed in this hospital, honey. You'll live."
She smiled. "You called me honey."
"I know. This time, I meant it."
She moved closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "How long can we stay in here?".
He shrugged. "You feeling ready to go back out there?".
She shook her head. "Not really."
"Then, as long as you need."
She thought about it, and she knew why she trusted him so much. It wasn't just because he was nice to her or treated her with respect or even because he was helping her heal.
It was because there was no pressure with him. He didn't talk over her or brush her off. He never made her feel like she was a victim, nor did he have this hero complex about him. It was simple. He wasn't saving her. Little by little, he was showing her that she could save herself. That she didn't have to rely on him, but he was there if she needed him.
He never made it about himself and listened to her and let her make decisions and gave her the control she needed to feel safe. That was why she trusted him. Why she needed him. Why she loved him.
"Jack."
He hums.
"I think I figured it out."
"Yeah? Figured what out, sweetheart?".
Sitting up, she looked at him properly. "You care so much because you love me."
He smiled at her, hazel eyes sparkling with utter adoration and a hint of amusement. Then he sighed softly.
"Well, I'll be damned. I was starting to think you'd never catch on."
In that case l'd love to request a second part that focuses on their relationship developing. I’d honestly be ok with whatever you choose for them but I was thinking…
after the patient incident although their talk eased her and helped her trust him, the next days she gets a little insecure about sharing so much of herself, which she’s not used to and kind of overcompensates by becoming more distant again but abbot understands, allows her space and most importantly control when working on patients together. Ofc not fully he’s still the attending lol but like he fully trusts her abilities. And that’s maybe how she slowly starts falling for him. Maybe at some point after a rough night abbot invites her to breakfast at a diner close by where they then start to get to know eachother more…
Again if this doesn’t align with what you might picture that’s totally fine I trust you :)
Thank you!
~e
I can most definitely work with this. I'll see what I can do :)
If you feel like it, I’d totally love a part two, maybe something that expands on their relationship developing, I always love some yearning and angst haha. But otherwise I’ll definitely send an ask in the next time something else comes to mind, also been craving pope so maybe I’ll think of something for him :)
~e
Honestly, I'm cool with anything. I'd be down to write a part 2. Just let me know :)
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