and we flew so high together, but you were there to watch me break,
and you were coward, coward, coward, all you did was take, take, take
because how fucking dare you?
‘I guess we know who’s getting the blame’ isn’t a joke anymore, it’s a death sentence and one I don’t deserve
‘cause honey it takes two to tango and maybe five to foxtrot and we’re none of us blameless in this bloody mess
I. Am. So. Sick. Of. It. All.
conversations that go nowhere and run around you in circles like you’re the fucking sun, while I’m here mooning over nothing
(a facebook post, of all things)
(oh the indignity)
just when I thought it was all over you pulled me in again, so well done, congratulations, are you proud?
still the left out child in the playground, all of six years old and alone
choking on silence and bile and black venom
there is so much poison now
songs I can’t hear, places I can’t go, memories I can’t touch
like a cancer eating me away from the inside out
and that’s on you, baby-boo
but think
thinkthinkthink
you’re not my problem anymore
good god, I should be grateful,
really,
shouldn’t I?
no more tantrums to defuse
no more dealing business with a five year old
trying to do adult life with someone whose emotional maturation ceased last century
see
adults forgive and forget
(apparently)
they move on, they’re civil, they’re even kind
(apparently)
but I’m not adulting all that well these days
so I hope you burn
I hope you suffer
I want you to cry in a corner in the dark
alone
so alone
if I loved you less maybe I could forgive you more
but, my love, if you had balls I’d cut them off
if you had a dick I wouldn’t let you get away with hurting me like this
if you had a heart (#whoop there it is!)
because, honey, baby, sweetheart, sugar, love,
I am fucking fabulous
and you,
well
you’re nothing much at all,
are you?