Yoga cracked me open last night.
I have been really bad at going to yoga. Really, really bad. I probably practiced 4-5 times in the last month.
In the last two weeks, I’ve moved, finished my first semester back at school and just have been hating my current job.
Yesterday was crazy. I was supposed to leave work early and go to a nursing information session for an accelerated BSN program at a nearby university. I didn’t leave work early and so, There was no way that I could make it to the information session.
I was extremely upset, and I just couldn’t shake the feeling of defeat. I let my job that I don’t care about get in the way of my future. How many times will that happen while I take more classes? I cannot put this current job first, and I don’t want it to be first.
I was frustrated and decided to go to yoga, because I up and left at 5:00pm when my work day was over.
It was a great decision. I had time to stop home and take care of the pups, and from there, went to yoga.
The class wasn’t anything spectacular. There were no crazy hip openers, nothing super challenging. The instructor led the practice with the idea that if we need to leave something in this space during our practice, that we should leave it. We should allow ourselves to release the things that no longer serve us.
Well, sometimes the universe decides to be a little shit, like not letting me go to the information session, and sometimes the universe is like, “here you go, this is what you really needed tonight.”
I was good until savasana. I never cry. Ever.
Tears streamed silently from my eyes, and I just let go. What I let go of, I still cannot pin down. My mind was like a tornado of emotion, and things just kept surfacing. It was like I was watching a highlight reel of my emotions for the past twos years. I surrendered to the sensations.
I continued to cry until we sat up for the closing of class. I wiped my eyes and got up. I felt so much lighter.
I’m not sure of what I left on my mat last night, but I hope that it stays there.