It just dawned on her that it had been a long time since she had been this candid to anyone other than Thomas. It made her think of how she thought she was doing just fine with her life, moving forward to a better future. A future without recollecting anything from her past, but the phrase ‘can’t cover the sun with one finger’ came like a flash before her eyes. All this time she sold herself the idea that she had moved on and yet she was here stirring all the feelings she forced herself to forget. Ironically enough, she didn’t. She could never forget the strong sense of belonging she felt right now next to her ex. Ex-best-friend—ex-everything, none of those labels seemed to conceal the true meaning he had to her. Her heart was pounding even harder against her chest that now he remained so close to her with no intention of moving away. The tension between them was so palpable she was sure that if possible, someone could cut it with a knife.While failing miserably she tried to ignore her own blush provoked by his very natural compliments, she hid behind dark and long waves. “Thank you,” she granted with a shy smile that he probably didn’t catch. The idea of her becoming a mother always made her slightly nervous. It wasn’t a terrible idea, she knew the moment would come, but she was afraid she’d screw up like she did with everything else. Perhaps she was being too harsh with herself, but somehow Thomas’ reassurance made her feel so much better. His approval was like remedy even though it was something so small. “I think raising them far away from the Upper East Side is a good plan, by the way. You’ll be an amazing dad as well. Probably one of those that spoils way too much, but at the end of the day knows how to give a good lecture. I see you’ve improved your people skills to the point of expertise.” Olivia said with a chuckle, tucking several strands of her hair behind her ear. She flashed him a smile. “Just promise me one thing,” she looked at him. “Don’t forget that you grew up in New York. You’re a New Yorker by nature and that doesn’t go away so fast. No matter how far you want to move Manhattan is not an easy place to leave.”
Once again she had no idea of what to do other than try and decipher if following her feelings was the right choice. She wasn’t even sure if there was even a right choice. Right now everything was turning into a mess and yet deep inside her she felt everything was falling right into place. And then he grabbed her hand.The last time she remembered him holding her hand this way felt like a thousand years ago and yet she welcomed his touch like it was the most natural thing—because in a way it was. The electricity it sparked was not missed by her as a shiver ran down her spine. Her own hand had always been significantly smaller than his, except when they were children, but they always seemed to fit so perfectly it was uncanny. She sighed deeply when he looked into her eyes, tightening her fingers around his. Olivia didn’t realise she started shaking until then, and in vain tried to control herself. His words sounded so calm and collected as if he knew that’s exactly what she needed to hear, but at the same time, they overwhelmed her. Still the remains of her guilt haunted her mind, but he was right about many things. The past was the past and none of them could change the what happened, there was no use. She nodded softly, agreeing with his words. She let him continue in a second, and once again, he managed to surprise her beyond relief.
Don’t want to be without you, Liv.
For a moment, she stopped breathing altogether. Her mouth opened slightly but nothing came out, and she was thankful she didn’t, because apparently he wasn’t done just yet. She quickly brought her other hand to her chest and clutched the fabric so tight, she felt her heart beating even faster. Did he truly feel that way? When he mentioned they weren’t really just friends she felt lightheaded. Deep inside she knew it, but saying it out loud made it real. It was rather embarrassing to admit that she committed to playing a lying game with him. Still gazing right into his eyes she was scared of the answer that she already knew was there, lingering in the air between them, but Olivia knew one thing. She had no doubt this was exactly where she wanted to be because she made no other move. They were so close, only a few inches from crashing into each other. It was unbearable. The atmosphere surrounding them only intensified what was already overwhelming, and when his final question arrived, Olivia couldn’t take it anymore. Right away, she shook her head looking down at her lap with defeat. “No, you’re not,” Olivia whispered. “you’re not the only one that’s been feeling that way.” It was her turn for her voice to break. It took her a few seconds to look up at him again. “I’m not sure what’s going on anymore. I’ve been thinking I can keep going like this…” she trailed, now moving to sit on her knees and looking into his eyes. “I don’t think I can keep pretending that every time I see you, or every time I’m close to you, it doesn’t hurt not being able, to be honest with you. Being able, to be honest with me, for god’s sake!” she exclaimed with frustration. “It’s been killing me,” she admitted. “It kills me to try to ignore the fact that I… miss you. I miss you so damn much.” Olivia wasn’t naive. She didn’t miss the look he gave to her just a few seconds before. It was the look he always gave her when he was just about to kiss her, and yet he didn’t. It only meant that he left the choice to her, and now it was time. Either she could take the chance or…
But there was no ‘or’ this time. Olivia couldn’t form all the sentences she wanted to say so she did what her gut told her it was right. A memory played like a movie inside her head in a matter of seconds. Their first kiss when he simply pulled her in, taking her by surprise after realizing that words couldn’t explain what they both felt, the only answer needed was right there in front of them. Without thinking any further she closed the last few inches between them until Olivia crashed her lips against his.
“Don’t worry, I’ll never forget this place.” Thomas reassured her. “You can get the Thomas out of Manhattan but you can’t take the Manhattan out of Thomas.” he joked, letting out a soft laugh. “Besides, I have too many memories in this city to just let go of it that easy.” His actions, his words, everything that he was doing right now...none of it made any sense, but at the same time, it was the most logical step. Olivia and Thomas, Thomas and Olivia. It would always be the two of them in one way or another, and these brave steps that he was taking right now were a desperate attempt to get back to that, because truth was, he didn’t feel whole without her. When she finally spoke, Thomas could feel his heart skipping a beat, and then absolute relief. It felt so good to hear her say that she felt the same way, that she was just as tortured as him by not being together. It reminded him of all those years ago when he had first confessed his feelings to her and hoped that he hadn’t just ruined their friendship. The smallest of smiles appeared on his lips with every word that came out of her lips, a spark of happiness igniting inside his chest. And before Thomas could say anything more, Olivia leaned in and kissed him, and his heart exploded.
There was so much passion and emotion between them, it was almost too much to handle. Instinctively, his hands wrapped around her waist and he held her firmly, as if he was afraid she’d disappear at any moment. He parted her lips with his tongue, deepening the kiss and pulling her even closer to him. There was no space between their bodies, and yet Thomas still felt as if he wasn’t nearly as close to her as he wanted to be. Before he lost any sense of control, however, Thomas pulled away from the kiss and rested his forehead against Liv’s, breathing heavily. “If we don’t stop now I’ll never let you leave this apartment.” he smiled at her, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “I missed you so much, Liv. I was an idiot for ever letting you go, but I don’t plan on making the same mistake again.” he told her, taking both her hands into his. “I know we’re not perfect, but you’re the only one person in this whole wide world that knows me better than anyone and still chose to love me despite everything.” he said. Thomas could be cruel and mean and twisted, and Olivia still recognized those things in him and continued to stand by him. “And I also know that you and I were meant to be together. So be with me, let’s not waste any more time than we already have.”











