Text posts from the guy who wrote the Declaration

This blog is dedicated to text posts I write. Sorry if you think they're shitty I'm a bit out of practice I haven't written anything in 200 years. I tag all my posts with 'foundingdad'

[ge0rgewashington]

Visit Original Link

me talking to the rest of the class before a big test

[thomasjeffersun]

*grabs hammer* come on, the patriarchy's not gonna abolish itself

[thomasjeffersun]

Is it bad that I get really offended when I go to someone's house and they don't have wifi? It's like if you're not gonna use it at least have the common courtesy to set it up for your guests, you troglodyte

[thomasjeffersun]

Sonic the Hedgehog Tonic the Catdog Comic the Fetchcog Bronic the Ledgesock Honic the Dig-Dug Quanic the Leapfrog Zonick da Hadgehugog

[thomasjeffersun]

My first Tumblr raffle!!!

Reblog this post to be entered to win. Each reblog will be randomly assigned a number. At the end of the raffle a great prize will be given to numbers 1-5. Number 1: a folder of 398 of my nudes Number 2: a folder of 867 of my nudes Number 3: a folder marked "mila kunis" nudes, but is actually just filled with 45 pics of Snarf from Thundercats Number 4: the most expensive prize, I will mail the winner a large box filled with 666 nail clippings, a Kleenex box, and a few random Thomas the Tank Engine memorabilia items Number 5: a handwritten letter from me detailing what my naked body looks like (basically literotica) Have fun!

[thomasjeffersun]

Have to go at a speed!

Zonik da HadgeHugog

[thomasjeffersun]

Shout out to my 6 followers in a few months when I'm famous I'll promo all of you

[thomasjeffersun]

When bitch ass motherfuckers start shit and your squad show up like

[thomasjeffersun]

Can I still access the Cloud on a clear day?

[thomasjeffersun]

Hair is so weird like what the fuck why is this on my body get off of me ew

[thomasjeffersun]

last night I got really high and when I woke up today my chest and armpit hair was gone

[thomasjeffersun]

DID YOU KNOW? #4

Dumbbells are actually giant magnets that are attracted to the earth's core. One who lifts is not lifting different amounts of weight, but rather is just fighting against stronger magnets. Dumbbells do not work in outer space, so astronauts are forced to find different means of exercise such as carrying each other around.

[thomasjeffersun]

Hair is so weird like what the fuck why is this on my body get off of me ew

[thomasjeffersun]

DID YOU KNOW? #3

'Yugioh', or 'Duel Monsters', is actually just the ancient Egyptian form of Pokémon. As the Egyptians did not yet have access to the technology required to manufacture Pokéballs, they instead relied on black magic to seal their Pokémon within tablets to capture them. The ‘Millennium Items’, while originally assumed to be ancient relics of untold mythical abilities, have since been identified as the earliest forms of Gym badges.

[thomasjeffersun]

Haha blaze it

me, talking about my fat, when I have 4 minutes and 20 seconds left on my treadmill run

[thomasjeffersun]

DID YOU KNOW? #2

The idea of dueling was originally conceived by doctors of the 16th century due to the medical properties it offered. Men who had lost teeth, fingers, or even arms or legs would challenge healthier men to battles as it became common knowledge that limbs would always seek out the “greater flesh”, which in this case was the winner of these duels. Dueling eventually became banned once the limbs of bystanders would begin to abandon their original bodies in favor of the winner’s. 

[thomasjeffersun]

WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?

Ah, yes, this is an interesting question indeed. This is not widely known, but I possess many memories of times that took place well before my own lifetime. The earliest memory I can currently picture is that of a dark room, perhaps a dungeon. There is a small fire in the corner of the room, and near it I can see a hooded figure hunched over it. The figure looks at me, and garbles something. I respond to the being in a language and voice that are not my own. The figure laughs, a cold, gut-wrenching sound, and then I turn to the wall behind me, drop my drawers, and take a long piss. This is my earliest memory.

[thomasjeffersun]

I’ll fuck anything with a face, tbh

Benjamin Franklin, founding father, known as the “First American”, as well as a leading author, printer, political theorist, politician, postmaster, scientist, inventor, civic activist, statesman, and diplomat of his time.