my heart is gold, but my hands are cold

thomas barnes / muggle / bartender oh, my heart is gold but my hands are cold

[thomasxbarnes]

* .  ∙ •✧ * NANETTE LEFEVRE —

⎯  ✴︎ “ Aneurism? What’s that? It sounds dreadful. Magic could really do that to muggles? You’re sure you want me to show you this one? ”

▵ — “ It’s a medical thing in your brain. I didn’t have an actual aneurism but it felt like I had one, maybe because two burly nazis were shooting at us with fire or - I don’t know if it was fire, they were spells. S p e l l s . But that’s behind us and you look far friendlier. Changing the color of snow sounds way more harmless. ”

[thomasxbarnes]

* .  ∙ •✧ * MARY MACDONALD —

⎯   ✴︎ Mary was surprised he’d actually drank the potion. She wasn’t quite of what she’d have done were the roles reversed, but she knew how shady all of this was. And he was taking it much better than she expected. Most people would’ve run much sooner than she had time to explain herself. It oddly made this a little easier just because she could explain everything in case the other two found him again. Normally there’d be no question. She’d have to erase his memory of this. But they were going to come after him regardless. She hated the idea of telling him everything then taking it away once more.

          Then he’d mentioned that the reason behind them chasing him was because he helped a woman they were after. There was a high chance she knew her somehow either from school… or work at one time… or she was sure the Order. “I… thank you for that. I don’t know if she’ll ever have a chance to, but if she’s like me, they’d have had her and done things quite possibly worse than death to her.” As they’d have if they hadn’t gotten away.

         When he asked the real question she had to take a moment or two to really think about how to say it. It’s not that she didn’t think he’d understand. With how he’d taken everything else, she knew he’d understand. But there was something about finding out that there were people with scary powers that threatened your very existence.

         “They are going after people because…” she started, but trailed off when she thought of a better approach. “So we’ve got this entire secret community away from people without magic, we call them… you muggles, and we can be born from muggles like I was. There’s some of the community that believes that magic should only stay within families that are only descended from magic. They recently… within the last few months… managed to take over all governing bodies and are trying to… do away with people like me and anyone that helps us. And they don’t care if muggles die if they get in the way.”

▵ — The longer he spent with her, the less Thomas suspected that all of this was going to end up not being real. The longer it sat with him, the easier it was to believe. He thought about the cloaked men who came into the bar, and how he and Jack had just discussed the matter of people leaving with them without a word, without even a glance. They’d shrugged these oddities off as some kind of cultural difference, or just as something they didn’t understand - but everything she was saying, her behavior, and the behavior of the men from the underground - it all made sense. Even if someone had somehow found a way to fake that thing that happened - apparition or whatever - she had no way of knowing about the people at the bar.

      ( They’d have done things quite possibly worse than death to her. )

      And the more she explained, the more disturbed Thomas felt. By the time she got to the end of her talk he could only think of one thing: “ You’re telling me that the Holocaust is happening all over again but nobody knows because magic is a secret? ” he asked, aghast, and his voice stumbled over the words ‘Holocaust’ and ‘magic’. If he tried to explain this to Jack later, he would sound fucking crazy. He almost laughed - not out of amusement, but out of shock, and because there was no proper way to respond to something like this. “ I punched and then got beaten up by Nazis? ”

      Thomas let out another long, slow breath, looking down at the empty glass bottle in his hand, when a really stupid thought washed over him. “ I don’t know your name, ” he said suddenly, almost as if, of everything that had been said so far, that was the most unbelievable. “ I’m Thomas. ”

[thomasxbarnes]

* .  ∙ •✧ *  NANETTE LEFEVRE —

⎯  ✴︎ “ No one is looking. I know a way to make the snow turn color. What is your favorite? ”

▵ — “ Uh - sure, yeah, that sounds safe enough. Sounds like it’ll give me less of an aneurism than the last spells I experienced. ”

[thomasxbarnes]

marymacrebel

⎯   ✴︎ When he asked what that was, she suddenly came back from thinking of what was going to happen next, but what was happening now. “Merlin, I’m sorry,” she said, turning to her bag she had with her. It took her a moment before she finally felt the bottle she was looking for and pulled it out. “This should help the nausea… if you want to drink it. I… believe me when my parents found out that I was a witch, the shock on their faces mirrored my excitement.” She smiled a little before it disappeared and she offered it to him.

        “I… to start… how open minded are you?” She paused for a second before she shook her head. “That’s a dumb question… of course you’re going to believe what I have for an answer since you just saw everything.” She bit her lip as she gathered how best to explain what had just happened. “It’s… magic. All of those were spells… the one that got us here was one as well. I’m not sure if there’s science behind it to explain it better… but really it just is? We were there and now we’re here. It’s apparation.” She stared at him for a second before she shook her head. “And now I’ve broken the law. Not that they weren’t already after you. And I did save you life.”

        That was when she looked back at him curiously. “Why were they chasing you?” It wouldn’t surprise her if they’d just started singling out muggles now, but it was still weird to just be chasing this muggle for no reason.

▵ — She finally said it, and when she did, Thomas felt dizzier than he had when they first showed up in the middle of this field after whatever had happened back there. A witch. She was a witch. She said she was a witch and beyond all expectations he actually believed her, becaues there was no reason not to believe her, and because it was the only explanation there was, and because he didn’t like to think that he was losing his mind.

      Thomas looked down at the little bottle bottle the woman offered him, and it’s unusual dark blue contents and the strange sheen that was visible just beneath the glass. He figured that, on some level, he knew it wasn’t safe to drink it - and he also knew that his teachers had never told him that he shouldn’t drink a potion offered to him by a friendly witch before. He sighed and shook his head, and without giving himself much time to think through his options, tossed back the potion. It was unexpectedly sweet like candy, without the sticky nature of cough syrup, and worked shockingly fast. Almost immediately he felt the nausea subside.

      Thomas watched and listened as she spoke, without interrupting, waiting for something, and he wasn’t even sure what. What she said made sense, in a weird way. It made sense because nothing else did. But he felt like he was waiting for another shoe to drop, and when she finished talking, he didn’t say anything, nodding slowly in the silence.

      “ I, uh - what? Oh, right. Yeah, I punched him, ” Thomas explained, continuing to nod. “ They were acting kind of violent with this girl on the tube and... ” It didn’t cross his mind until then that it was very likely that the girl they’d been harassing on the train was someone like the woman in front of him. And then he thought about all the weird behavior he and Jack had seen in the pub, and the more he thought, the more it all pieced itself together, and he realized that this was much bigger than just those two men. “ Why are they going after people? ”

[rpmusings-galore]

If  it  takes  fighting  a  ＷＡＲ  for  us  to  meet

             it  will  have  been  worth  it.

[thomasxbarnes]

marymacrebel

⎯   ✴︎ Mary expected a Death Eater to find her. She expected that they may be already attacking someone else and she would have to intervene. It was just how the night was sitting in her gut. Still, she had reasoned, that it wouldn’t be in the middle of London and certainly not in front of a muggle. Even with all of the attacks and open fighting in front of them, she still knew they were all so adamant about keeping the secret from muggles. Though the logic behind it all was far from logical. Surely no one could ever dare to think that you could obliviate the muggle populous of the UK which was what was going to end up being the issue. The papers already were addressing the attacks, blaming them on a new local gang.

        All in all, she hadn’t expected to nearly be run over by an injured muggle of all the things going to happen tonight. At first she really hadn’t been sure he was one in truth, but she’d assumed given he was running from he pursuers and she was running into more muggles than wizards constantly. It took her a moment to get her bearings back, but it was much easier with the other one helping her. “It’s alright,” she said, shaking her head. “Are you-?”

        She was cut off by the voice of another as they turned a corner. “If it isn’t Mary MacDonald,” the first cloaked man said. She instantly faced them and took a defensive stance. “We lose Emmeline Vance, but find a Mudblood,” the second remarked. “We’ll take them both in. The muggle to be obliviated, MacDonald to be questioned.” She knew what questioning meant. It was torture then death when she was no longer useful. And in the case of the man next to her, she knew obliviate could very well mean death instead.

        She knew what she had to do and it wasn’t going to be exactly easy on the man. “I’m sorry.”

        She drew her wand from her jacket pocket and stepped in front of the man. There was a curse she deflected first before she called out, “Expelliarmus!” She disarmed one but the other quickly threw another curse she defended from. By that time, the first Death Eater started to charge and Mary called out a second charm, “Immobulus!” Both men froze as intended then she reached behind her and took Thomas’ hand.

        Appartion was going to be hard for him, but they had to get out of there. When their feet were finally on the ground again, they were out in a field and they were alone. That was when she let go of his hand. “I shouldn’t have involved you,” she said taking a couple steps away. “Merlin, you’ve seen so much. Shit.” She looked back at him. “How are you feeling?” She shook her head before hitting it with the butt of her hand. “Of course you’re not well. You’ve been beaten and just saw… five spells? And we just apparated to the middle of nowhere.” She shook her head before she rapidly ran her hand over her face. “Shit. Shit. Shit. And now they’ll be looking for you too so I can’t even obliviate you and return you to your normal life.”

        Removing her hands from her face, she looked at him again. “I’m not bad at healing spells and… they could be looking for you after this, but I can get you home.” She sighed. He probably didn’t even trust her to do that much.

▵ — “Are these guys wanting to hurt you?”

      A lot of words and a lot of things happened all at once and if someone were to ask Thomas later what had happened, he wasn’t quite sure, just then, what he would say. Of the things he overheard, easily the most confusing were muggle (if that’s even what was said), mudblood, and - and this was the scariest, because he had a feeling they were talking about him - obliviate. He half-thought that he just misheard and that they had in fact said obliterate, but after everything else they said, he wasn’t so sure.

      Thomas was about to step in front of the girl - Mary MacDonald, they had said - when she turned to him and apologized. “What?” His answer came in a form as confusing as everything else up until that point. He wasn’t sure what she’d done but he instinctively ducked for cover, despite it seeming to be unnecessary. that’s when everything really stopped making sense, but also somehow pieced itself together, and he figured the best he could do in that moment was to accept that he didn’t understand and move forward with the knowledge that as much as he didn’t understand, he did know that the men they were up against were very, very bad.

      And... Frozen.

      As soon as they stopped moving, Thomas reached to take the woman’s hand and run, but she moved faster than he did, and the next thing that happened was far more confusing than the last.

      And then they were in a field, and Thomas was pretty sure he was going to be sick. She dropped his hand and he all but fell over, holding himself up by putting his hands above his knees and catching his breath. He closed his eyes so that the world would stop spinning, only hearing about half of what she was saying. When she asked how he was feeling he held up a hand, unsure if he’d be able to get out any words other than what the fuck?

      Finally, he looked up from his position, swallowing through the weirdness he felt in his throat and praying that his stomach held everything right where it was supposed to stay. “I, uh... I... What was that?”

[thomasxbarnes]

Jack: I love... dew.

Thomas: I love dew too.

[thomasxbarnes]

lovers

lovers: does someone need to share your values for you to pursue a relationship?

▵ — I think so, ultimately, yeah. Even as far as friendships, the least successful seem to start with differing values. Of course there’s some things that don’t matter - like god forbid someone prefers chains over independent businesses - but in the end, yeah, probably.

[thomasxbarnes]

wheel of fortune

wheel of fortune: how’s your luck?

▵ — Let’s just say it’s probably better to stay twenty feet away from me at all times.

[thomasxbarnes]

tarot card asks

fool: what's the biggest risk you've ever taken?

magician: list 3 of your talents

high priestess: do you pay more attention to your heart or your mind?

empress: how dependent are you on others?

emperor: describe your relationship with your father

hierophant: do you value tradition?

lovers: does someone need to share your values for you to pursue a relationship?

chariot: in what situations are you most assertive?

strength: how impulsive are you?

hermit: what are you like when you're alone?

wheel of fortune: how's your luck?

justice: do you value fairness over mercy?

hanged man: how do you feel about martyrs?

death: do you like change?

temperance: do you tend to focus on the past, present, or future?

devil: is there anything you're addicted to?

tower: what do you most want to change about yourself?

star: what religious beliefs do you have?

moon: do you have any recurrent dreams?

sun: do you believe optimism is always good?

judgement: how confident are you in yourself?

world: what do you hope to accomplish before you die?

[marymacrebel-blog]

⎯   ❝ There were a lot of people that questioned why Mary was alone, even she did once in a while. It made perfect sense as everything else lead to in her life that she would be in a group of people on the run, but she wasn’t. Her reasons for that ranged from for others safety and not wanting to be a burden. She’d spent a good majority of her time after the attack in school trying not to be a burden. She’d insisted she was fine then sooner than she probably was and thank goodness for friends that called her on it then because she would have been alone with it.

        This time, she didn’t give them time to see she didn’t really want to be alone. When it happened, the New Order installation, it was chaos and it was easy for everyone to be split off and separated. At first, she found herself alone naturally, then she found herself alone by choice. She’d run into others, but was always gone by morning before they could convince her to stay. She wasn’t going to be a burden. Not again.

        There was a voice always telling her she wasn’t one and it wasn’t ever her voice telling her that. It was her voice telling that other voice, whoever it was for that time, they were wrong. Sometimes it was easier to take loneliness than feeling like a burden.

        She was good at relying on herself. She was managing so far which she hadn’t expected to be able to do. She had stayed out of trouble for the most part, really only having to deal with a couple issues with Death Eaters. She was good at lying low and remaining unnoticed in a crowd. Still, she knew full well people were after her because of being a muggleborn and because of being a rebel. So on nights like these, she stayed weary and trusted her gut above anything else.

        And her gut was telling her something was about to happen. Hiding among muggles hadn’t been too hard to do, but people could talk when you were flighty and under social. She did it for her safety and for theirs, but she couldn’t help the feeling tonight that it hadn’t mattered this time. She’d attracted unwanted attention or someone else had attracted it and come into town. Either way, she could feel it in the air as she walked down the street to the home she was “renting” from.

[thomasxbarnes]

▵ — It was true that Thomas probably hadn’t been in London long enough to have already made enemies and have the shit kicked out of him, but there was a first time for everything. The underground was a largely uneventful place on most days and he normally kept his head down, trying very hard not to look like a foreigner who was still getting used to the place. Tough luck with that when he consistently had to check the nearly unreadable map of the underground to ensure he knew which line he was meant to transfer to next. He had just shoved that stupid map back into his jacket pocket when it all fell apart.

      Thomas was a firm enough believer in not getting involved in things that had nothing to do with you ( this naturally did not mean he was any good at it; he wasn’t ) but he felt sure that had he not done something, those men would have hurt that girl. There had been some recognition in her eyes when they violently confronted her and Thomas knew he couldn’t just stand and watch. 

      So he said something, and the two men - burly and in the oddest black cloaks he’d ever seen - turned their attention to him. Three and a half minutes later they were off the tube at Embankment and he was having the daylights beat out of him in one of the empty corridors connecting to the other lines. The station filled and the men stopped, and that’s when things stopped making sense. He knew he shouldn’t have seen it the minute the men realized that his eyes had still been on them.

      Which is how he found himself speed-walking through hoards of people, glancing over his shoulder every now and again to confirm that, yes, those men in black cloaks were still tailing him, and they were very bad at being subtle about it. Not that he was any better - his face was bleeding and he could feel an ugly bruise forming on his cheekbone. But his mind wasn’t on that - his mind was on what they did. What he thought they did. What he saw them do.

      What they couldn’t do.

      When Thomas rounded a corner and out of their sight, he broke into a run. He didn’t know who (what?) they were or what they wanted but he knew he wanted nothing to do with it. He looked over his shoulder again to see if they were in close pursuit, and was just about to feel relief when he ran directly into a person. He grunted in surprise more than anything and stumbled backward. “Shi - Sorry,” he gasped, offering out an arm to steady the person he hit. 

[sebstans]

“What you did all those years, it wasn’t you. You didn’t have a choice.” “I know… But I did it.”