Those Awesome Quotes

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The first hundred yards or so was largely an effort on Oberon’s part to properly express how cold the water was.

[The Iron Druid Chronicles] - Hunted (Kevin Hearne)

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The Ljósálfar, when they stepped off Bifrost onto Midgard, both disappointed and delighted me. They weren’t wearing leaf-shaped green and gold armor with curlicues or long robes with overlarge embroidered sleeves. They didn’t glow with backlighting or come with their own soundtrack by Enya.

[The Iron Druid Chronicles] - Hunted (Kevin Hearne)

[thoseawesomequotes]

I don’t understand why you’re in charge when you are incapable of making decisions in your own self-interest. 'Oh, look!' you say. 'A slain human! Instead of running away from this obviously perilous chapel, I think I’ll stick my neck in and see if it gets chopped off!'

The Chapel Perilous (Kevin Hearne)

This horse knows things.

[thoseawesomequotes]

distant, faded memory of sucking on pennies as a kid popped into his head.

[Maze Runner] - The Maze Runner (James Dashner)

Was I the only one who read penises?

[thoseawesomequotes]

'Not that there is a shop.' 'You have insurance,' Adam said. I sighed. 'I’m not covered for acts of God,'

[Mercy Thompson] - Night Broken (Patricia Briggs)

[thoseawesomequotes]

But one does not simply run into Britain.

[The Iron Druid Chronicles 6] - Hunted (Kevin Hearne)

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'It's a matter of principle. I've had three kids, I earned this belly.'

[Women of the Otherworld] - Bitten (Kelley Armstrong)

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'Other parents warn their kids not to talk to strangers. I had to warn mine not to eat them.'

[Women of the Otherworld] - Stolen (Kelley Armstrong)

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Victor and I were still poor college students at the time, so we rented a tiny one-bedroom apartment in the worst part of town, and it was surprisingly wonderful. Except that the guy next door to us was some sort of mentally ill hermit who never left his apartment, but would wave to me from his window occasionally wearing pants. I’m not sure where the comma goes in that last sentence, since “occasionally” modifies both “waving” and “pants.” As in, he waved to me occasionally, and (on those occasions when he waved) he was occasionally wearing pants. But he seemed to do it with less of a lurid “Look-at-my-penis” motivation, and more of a sad “I’m-simply-too-unstable-to-know-how-pants-work-today” sort of way.

Let's Pretend This Never Happened (Jenny Lawson)

[thoseawesomequotes]

A guitar twanged from the far-off radio. County music. Damn. They'd resorted to torture already.

[Women of the Otherworld] - Stolen (Kelley Armstrong)

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It was a sad state of affairs when you had to save someone's life before you killed him.

[Women of the Otherworld] - Stolen (Kelley Armstrong)

[thoseawesomequotes]

'We should bring this home to your dad. He could probably— OHJESUSCHRIST!' It was at this exact moment that the “dead” rattlesnake suddenly started angrily striking at Victor’s leg. Uncoincidentally, it was also the exact same moment that I ducked back into the truck, taking the spotlight with me and leaving Victor in the pitch-dark blackness on an abandoned road, as the angry rattlesnake he was holding tried to murder him. 'BRING BACK THE LIGHT,' he screamed. 'I TOLD YOU NOT TO GO OUT THERE!' I yelled angrily, as I quickly locked the doors (for some reason) and rolled up all the windows. I was worried about him and wanted to help him, but I couldn’t help but think that he had brought this on himself.

Let's Pretend This Never Happened (Jenny Lawson)

[thoseawesomequotes]

I was far better at killing things than keeping them alive. Good thing I never planned to have children.

[Women of the Otherworld] - Bitten (Kelley Armstrong)

This character is me. u.u

[thoseawesomequotes]

(Food on the floor is still edible as long as you pick it up within five seconds. Unless it’s peanut butter; then the five-second rule is null. Or if it’s something like dry toast, the five-second rule is extended to, like, a week and a half, because really, what’s going to get on dry toast?

Let's Pretend This Never Happened (Jenny Lawson)

[thoseawesomequotes]

The Marquis de Carabas did not trust people. It was bad for business and it could set an unfortunate precedent.

How the Marquis Got His Coat Back (Neil Gaiman)

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'You got my pants wet,' I complained as I pulled on my shirt. The waistband was soaked. Pol didn’t respond.

[The Queens Thief] - The Thief (Megan Turner)

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I took thirty men to Lundene, not because I needed them, but because a lord should travel in style.

[The Saxon Stories 6] - Death of Kings (Bernard Cornwell)

Uthred definitely knows how to do things u.u