The 5 Best Mexican Restaurants in Tampa According to This Guy
I ain’t no expert, but Tampa’s got some damn fine Mehee-cano food.
From the food trucks to the ol abuelas cooking it up on the side of a strip mall, Mexican munchies infest this city like cockroaches. Tasty, tasty cockroaches (god that was a horrible comparison).
So, yeah, Mexican food. It’s good. It’s good? Ummm. I’m really just biding time here since you probably clicked that headline thinking there’d actually be something substantial here.
Ok, anyway. Here’s an quickly-digestable list of the five best Mexican Restaurants in Tampa, according to me, but not even really me because, who is “me”? You know? :::rips incredible hulk bong:::
I like this place because it has lucha libre masks all around the joint, and any place that reminds me of ky childhood watching wrestling is gonna be alright.
Their food’s good too. Standard Mexican fare with a nice contemporary flair. Did I just write “contemporary flair”? And rhyme it with fare? Eugh.
I like these steak fajita tacos cuz they got fried onions on them, so I can clog my arteries while also feeling mildly cultured.
This shit used to be bangin like two years ago, now they’re everywhere, which is cool, but not cool, you know? It used to be sooo authentic and now it’s like, soooo not, you know? ::tightens scarf, gulps super-rare IPA, wipes beer from ironic moustache::::
Still, I’ll wolf this shit down like a goddamn great white gnawing a leg off when I’m drunk, so that deserves some “list”-y kind of award, probably.
Tijuana Flats is what Taco Bus wants to be. It’s like the tall Hispanic kid in The Sandlot and Taco Bus is the little main-character kid with the big bill on his hat who doesn’t know what s’mores are. If you don’t get that reference, you’re either my dad or way too young to be here.
Anyway, T-Flats crushes consistently, which I can appreciate. It’s like the Peyton Manning of Mexican restaurants in Tampa: not the coolest, or even that new or interesting anymore, but it gets the job done excellently, every time.
Carnitas nachos are my thing, but you could really get anything and I’m sure your face-hole will be pleased.
I’ll be honest, I’ve only eaten here like, 4 times, but that’s probably more than any of you dinguses, so deal with it ::points giant, half-eaten burrito in the air to emphasize point::
Still, though, I remember eating this cheese-covered burrito with fries in it there, so it gets the #4 spot for having the balls to think that’s anything close to authentic Mexican cuisine. AMERICA!!! WOO!!!
This is a great place to get drunk at. The food’s whatever, but I love sipping from a goblet of yellow sugary booze. Give me a goblet of yellow, sugary booze, and the we could talk about sports or the weather or anything at all. Just don’t talk about Breaking Bad or fucking Game of Thrones, please.
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