… for me waits destruction by the two-edged sword
KIROKAZE
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@thoughtfiiilled-blog
… for me waits destruction by the two-edged sword
“ everything. everything, all at once. every possibility, every time line. every yes, every no, every. little. detail. it’s madd- ening, isn’t it? absolutely, incredibly maddening. “ index finger lifts to tap-tap at the wall of his skull, temple flowering with an ache when he withdraws the digit. gallifreyans posse- ssed advanced physiology–though externally similar to a hu- manoid, the insides were all different. dual hearts, an extra brain buried in the shoulder, a cold internal temperature, blood with atomic hemoglobin… the ability to joint a mind with another, a friend, a soulmate, a wife or a husband, to look, delve, connect, share, further, further—
while he did not know the utter burden of omnipotence, he knew something very similar. and all of these years, a thousand years, twenty, three million, who knows how old he is? they must be like fire. the master is used to ridiculing and harming, enjoys the rush of pain he feels pouring from others, but here–this girl, this girl re- minds him of koschei. of himself. it warms the cold between his hearts, and he can do naught but exhale, harsh, in spite of himself.
“ i can help you. maybe. “
he’s not wrong about how the sound of it is far from comfortable. how it keeps her awake at night because while she’s tired in her bed people are living, breathing, running and screaming or reading or just being so very loudly. being now or later or years and years ago all in her head. how it’s always all thrumming just between her ears and no matter how loud she screams it will always drown her out. it’s like she’s everyone and no one at the same time. she’s made up of all the people who are and will be and have been and sometimes, staring up at the stars pasted to her bedroom ceiling, circe can’t help but feel that she’s not even herself. just other people’s thoughts and lives that have pushed out any space for her own. hands tremble as they try to unpick a knot in the cord she’s been worrying, the shake of her fingers making it near impossible as dark eyes stare, stare, stare at him. help. no one has offered help before, not in the capacity he may be able to offer. people have tried to give her medicines or called her dad when she was on her knees in the middle of the sidewalk, but that wasn’t this possibility. “help.” all she could do was repeat the word, echo it in a small tone. the knot finally comes loose under her fingertips and she set to work on making another one even as eyes squeezed shut for a moment as the sound spiked higher and higher.
thoughtfiiilled
the master hasn’t met any kind of being this interesting since the height of the renaissance–though most of his escapades in the cosmos have always revolved around following the doctor, or committing megolomaniacal acts in the name of monarchy and creation, he has had his own free time; his own will. brows shoot up, and the time lord allows his hands to find the notches of his hips. maddened laughter bubbles from his lips.
“ bahahah !! well, aren’t you something special !! a bit like me, ah ?? except, not at all, but all the same, too. fascinating. “
timelords are loud. they are were a race of many dates and lives and they hurt to hear. but this one, the master, is loud in both her head and outside it. his voice cuts through the babble of noise that is getting louder and louder and louder with every passing second. the sound of him hurts and it’s too much. her fingers move quickly as she knots the drawstring on her hoodie over and over again. she wants to curl into a ball, to press slight hands over her ears and shut her eyes and try to push the noise out from the inside. instead she just stares and tries, tries, tries to ignore the sound. “not. not, like. like. don’t...travel. go. i... can’t go. just...hear. knew. know.”
❛ he must have made quite the splash !! i do hope you NEVER let him forget it. ❜
“don’t! i do not, i. i meant. likes to swim. he does. so. so. it, uhm... was not too...upset! fun, kind of!”
; open starter.
❛ Apologies, I’ve gone and LOST myself in my own head again. You spin truly a fascinating tale. ❜
“don’t...no need to, for, for apologies! uh. he’s...he’d. did fall! into the, uh, the lake! head, head first!”
antheiiia
flowers are nice. flowers are soft and quiet and aren’t very loud at all. especially ones like these ones, wildflowers that grew of their own accord and don’t have any person behind them to hear in the way wind rustles petals and leave. that’s why circe’s sitting in this field, taking in the dulled sound of everything and the soft colors of petals. but quiet can only last for so long. especially for her. with a spike of sound circe notices someone else and dark eyes drift from flowers to the other girl.
yeah but
ghosts who are friends with the living
ghosts curiously listening to their fleshy friend’s heartbeat
ghosts snuggling up to their living friends to feel their body heat
ghosts basking in the sun to warm their ecto-bodies up so they won’t be so cold to the touch
ghosts huddling close to their living friends in windy weather for fear of getting blown apart
ghosts watching horror movies with their living friends and worriedly turning to them and going like “i’m not that bad am i?” pointing at the murderous stringy-haired banshee onscreen
people ouija-ing their ghost friends as if they were casual phone calls all like “hey you wanna hang out soon”
ghosts going to museums with their living friends and shaking their heads while looking at the exhibits all like “no no no this is all wrong. i was there and it went nothing like this.”
ghosts getting really giddy and excited whenever they hear music from their era
bed because i have a chiropractor’s appointment in the morning! feel free to drop stuff in my inbox if you want! i’m super open to plotting with literally everyone i follow!
their intention was never to harm with their impeccable ability to intimidate others, but to keep a guard up. looks were ultimately deceiving in this country, and even the appearance of a young girl could have very well been nothing more than sheep clothes for a very clever wolf. there was more to discovering a person’s true intentions than just flexing at them, however, and dylan’s abilities extended just far enough to tell a civilian when they had the chance to look them over. for now, it didn’t seem like she posed much of a threat.
for now.
❝ …’s fine. it’s mostly for your own safety. ❞
in an attempt to put circe just the slightest bit more at ease, dylan lifted the sword - one so deceptively thin that most underestimated it - and slung it over their back once more. should anything come to be a threat, it was unlikely that it would happen faster than they could draw it.
❝ can i have your name ? ❞
it’s not the sword that has her on edge. the intentions behind their action of removing it from the equation is kind, though, and eyes follow the motion in a near inquisitive look. weapons are loud. weapons have existed for so long and have done so much, been made from so many things and have cut so many down. years of cries cut through her ears and have brows drawing close, hands fluttering at her sides. the noise of battle and weapons is pushed down and away and she only hopes it won’t resurface. hearing death isn’t nice. “name? it. i’m circe.” the words come a touch smoother now, tone still soft and near swallowed up by the air. speaking loudly hurts her head. it clashes with the noise and leaves her confused and even more distant every time. simple questions are nice. her name. how old she is. rehearsed answers that have no leeway for her lips to get lost in, facts that don’t waver or change. but she still feels a touch bad for making trouble for dylan where there hadn’t been any before. fingers get lost in her skirt as she twists the fabric there and looks for words that won’t get jumbled. “ — my. i. i’m sorry for...here. didn’t. mean to. walking. walked. wouldn’t — did. didn’t look.”
harry potter au circe though. seer circe being some weird ravenclaw girl who doesn’t like to be near others too much and gets along with trelawney way more than any other students and sometimes spouting very odd things that sound like nonsense but are actually prophesies. circe getting tight with the ghosts because she doesn’t see things about them because they’re already dead. seer!circe.
flooredunder
some people are just loud. it’s part of humanity, circe figures. some people have more. more has happened and is happening and will happen to some people more than others. they’re like magnets to the girl. eyes and head are drawn to this sort of person the instant they near her, life pounding through her head at an alarming rate. like this girl. blake. she’s loud and behind circe’s eyes hurt at her presence. maybe if she curls in on herself a bit further where she’s sitting it will help. it doesn’t, not quite, not at all. fingers twine a strand of hair and tug hard in an attempt to draw her attention away from the noise, all while staring hard at octavia.
❝ don’t you dare. ❞
rare was there a time when dylan’s voice was as harshly commanding as it was with this instance, but the eyes that bore holes through the would be explorer did not burn with malice. rather, a sort of weary authoritativeness, one of a parent on their last nerve with a child, was what set their cosmic gaze alight.
❝ ’s quarantined for a reason. ❞
a set of arthritic fingers clasped firmly over the pommel of his sword, the sheathed point of which was planted firmly into the ground as a makeshift cane. dylan, personally, was donning a gas mask to avoid the inhalation of any still toxic air as they stood just next to the border. the chances of someone being damaged at this point were relatively slim, but it never failed to be disastrous whenever anyone was lenient with these matters.
soft footfall ceases at the sound of his voice. wandering is nice, is good, helps calm the clamor of noise in her head. while some distant and quiet part of her had been shouting danger and turn the louder noise had all but drowned it out. had made her feet take one step in front of the other over and over again, eyes on the horizon and not where she had been going. she hadn’t meant to be a problem. that was the last thing circe wanted to be. “oh.” a truly stunning response. dark eyes float from the harsh voice to the ground before her and back again. maybe she ought to take a step back, just to prove that causing trouble hadn’t been her intention. so that’s what happens, a small and near stumbling step is taken backwards as circe holds shaky hands up in a sort of surrender motion. “didn’t. wanted. want. didn’t want to, uh. become trouble. just...walked. walking, i mean. sorry.” the tenses are jumbled and words come small and sheepish as hands fall from the air to swing nervously at her sides, wide eyes focused on him. loud. the girl winces a bit at the noise.
aaand done! like for a starter.
theme change! page may be a bit wonky for a few.
(all) things bad about my muse
Absent-minded - Preoccupied to the extent of being unaware of one’s immediate surroundings. Abstracted, daydreaming, inattentive, oblivious, forgetful. Abusive - Characterized by improper infliction of physical or psychological maltreatment towards another. Addict - One who is addicted to a compulsive activity. Examples: gambling, drugs, sex. Aimless - Devoid of direction or purpose. Alcoholic - A person who drinks alcoholic substances habitually and to excess. Anxious - Full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; solicitous. Arrogant - Having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance. Inclined to social exclusiveness and who rebuff the advances of people considered inferior. Snobbish. Audacious - Recklessly bold in defiance of convention, propriety, law, or the like; insolent; braze, disobedient. Bad Habit - A revolting personal habit. Examples: picks nose, spits tobacco, drools, bad body odour. Bigmouth - A loud-mouthed or gossipy person. Bigot - One who is strongly partial to one’s own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ. Blunt - Characterized by directness in manner or speech; without subtlety or evasion. Frank, callous, insensitive, brusque. Bold - In a bad sense, too forward; taking undue liberties; over assuming or confident; lacking proper modesty or restraint; rude; impudent. Abrupt, brazen, cheeky, brassy, audacious. Callous - They are hardened to emotions, rarely showing any form of it in expression. Unfeeling. Cold. Childish - Marked by or indicating a lack of maturity; puerile. Complex - An exaggerated or obsessive concern or fear. Cruel - Mean to anyone or anything, without care or regard to consequences and feelings. Cursed - A person who has befallen a prayer for evil or misfortune, placed under a spell, or borne into an evil circumstance, and suffers for it. Damned. Dependent - Unable to exist, sustain oneself, or act appropriately or normally without the assistance or direction of another. Deranged - Mentally decayed. Insane. Crazy. Mad. Psychotic. Dishonest – Given to or using fraud, cheating; deceitful, deceptive, crooked, underhanded. Disloyal - Lacking loyalty. Unfaithful, perfidious, traitorous, treasonable. Disorder - An ailment that affects the function of mind or body. Disturbed - Showing some or a few signs or symptoms of mental or emotional illness. Confused, disordered, neurotic, troubled. Dubious - Fraught with uncertainty or doubt. Undecided, doubtful, unsure. Dyslexic - Affected by dyslexia, a learning disorder marked by impairment of the ability to recognize and comprehend written words. Egotistical - Characteristic of those having an inflated idea of their own importance. Boastful, pompous. Envious - Showing extreme cupidity; painfully desirous of another’s advantages; covetous, jealous. Erratic - Deviating from the customary course in conduct or opinion; eccentric: erratic behaviour. Eccentric, bizarre, outlandish, strange. Fanatical - Fanatic outlook or behaviour especially as exhibited by excessive enthusiasm, unreasoning zeal, or wild and extravagant notions on some subject. Fickle – Erratic, changeable, unstable - especially with regard to affections or attachments; capricious. Fierce - Marked by extreme intensity of emotions or convictions; inclined to react violently; fervid. Finicky - Excessively particular or fastidious; difficult to please; fussy. Too much concerned with detail. Meticulous, fastidious, choosy, critical, picky, prissy, pernickety. Fixated - In psychoanalytic theory, a strong attachment to a person or thing, especially such an attachment formed in childhood or infancy and manifested in immature or neurotic behaviour that persists throughout life. Fetish, quirk, obsession, infatuation. Flirt -To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures; behaviour intended to arouse sexual interest. Minx. Tease. Gluttonous - Given to excess in consumption of especially food or drink. Voracious, ravenous, wolfish, piggish, insatiable. Gruff - Brusque or stern in manner or appearance. Crusty, rough, surly. Gullible - Will believe any information given, regardless of how valid or truthful it is, easily deceived or duped. Hard - A person who is difficult to deal with, manage, control, overcome, or understand. Hard emotions, hard hearted. Hedonistic - Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses. Hoity-toity - Given to flights of fancy; capricious; frivolous. Prone to giddy behaviour, flighty. Humourless - The inability to find humour in things, and most certainly in themselves. Hypocritical - One who is always contradicting their own beliefs, actions or sayings. A person who professes beliefs and opinions for others that he does not hold. Being a hypocrite. Idealist - One whose conduct is influenced by ideals that often conflict with practical considerations. One who is unrealistic and impractical, guided more by ideals than by practical considerations. Idiotic - Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless. Ignorant - Lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject or fact. Showing or arising from a lack of education or knowledge. Illiterate - Unable to read and write. Immature - Emotionally undeveloped; juvenile; childish. Impatient - Unable to wait patiently or tolerate delay; restless. Unable to endure irritation or opposition; intolerant. Impious - Lacking piety and reverence for a god/gods and their followers. Impish - Naughtily or annoyingly playful. Incompetent - Unable to execute tasks, no matter how the size or difficulty. Indecisive - Characterized by lack of decision and firmness, especially under pressure. Indifferent - The trait of lacking enthusiasm for or interest in things generally, remaining calm and seeming not to care; a casual lack of concern. Having or showing little or no interest in anything; languid; spiritless. Infamy - Having an extremely bad reputation, public reproach, or strong condemnation as the result of a shameful, criminal, or outrageous act that affects how others view them. Intolerant - Unwilling to tolerate difference of opinion and narrow-minded about cherished opinions. Judgmental - Inclined to make and form judgments, especially moral or personal ones, based on one’s own opinions or impressions towards others/practices/groups/religions based on appearance, reputation, occupation, etc. Klutz - Clumsy. Blunderer. Lazy - Resistant to work or exertion; disposed to idleness. Lewd - Inclined to, characterized by, or inciting to lust or lechery; lascivious. Obscene or indecent, as language or songs; salacious. Liar - Compulsively and purposefully tells false truths more often than not. A person who has lied or who lies repeatedly. Lustful - Driven by lust; preoccupied with or exhibiting lustful desires. Masochist - The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences Meddlesome - Intrusive in a meddling or offensive manner, given to meddling; interfering. Meek - Evidencing little spirit or courage; overly submissive or compliant; humble in spirit or manner; suggesting retiring mildness or even cowed submissiveness. Megalomaniac - A psycho pathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence. Naïve - Lacking worldly experience and understanding, simple and guileless; showing or characterized by a lack of sophistication and critical judgement. Nervous - Easily agitated or distressed; high-strung or jumpy. Non-violent - Abstaining from the use of violence. Nosey - Given to prying into the affairs of others; snoopy. Offensively curious or inquisitive. Obsessive - An unhealthy and compulsive preoccupation with something or someone. Oppressor - A person of authority who subjects others to undue pressures, to keep down by severe and unjust use of force or authority. Overambitious - Having a strong excessive desire for success or achievement. Overconfident - Excessively confident; presumptuous. Overemotional - Excessively or abnormally emotional. Sensitive about themselves and others, more so than the average person. Overprotective - To protect too much; coddle. Overzealous - Marked by excessive enthusiasm for and intense devotion to a cause or idea. Pacifist - Opposition to war or violence as a means of resolving disputes. (Can double as a merit in certain cases) Paranoid - Exhibiting or characterized by extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others. Peevish - Expressing fretfulness and discontent, or unjustifiable dissatisfaction. Cantankerous, cross, ill-tempered, testy, captious, discontented, crotchety, cranky, ornery. Perfectionist - A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards. Pessimist - A tendency to stress the negative or unfavourable or to take the gloomiest possible view. Pest - One that pesters or annoys, with or without realizing it. Nuisance. Annoying. Nag. Phobic – They have a severe form of fear when it comes to this one thing. Practical - Level-headed, efficient, and unspeculative. No-nonsense. Predictable - Easily seen through and assessable, where almost anyone can predict reactions and actions of said person by having met or known them even for a short time. Proud - Filled with or showing excessive self-esteem and will often shirk help from others for the sake of pride. Rebellious - Defying or resisting some established authority, government, or tradition; insubordinate; inclined to rebel. Reckless - Heedless. Headstrong. Foolhardy. Unthinking boldness, wild carelessness and disregard for consequences. Remorseless - Without remorse; merciless; pitiless; relentless. Rigorous - Rigidly accurate; allowing no deviation from a standard; demanding strict attention to rules and procedures. Sadist - The deriving of sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others. Deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from cruelty. Sadomasochist - Both sadist and masochist combined. Sarcastic - A subtle form of mockery in which an intended meaning is conveyed obliquely. Skeptic - One who instinctively or habitually doubts, questions, or disagrees with assertions or generally accepted conclusions. Seducer - To lead others astray, as from duty, rectitude, or the like; corrupt. To attempt to lead or draw someone away, as from principles, faith, or allegiance. Selfish - Concerned chiefly or only with oneself. Self-Martyr - One who purposely makes a great show of suffering in order to arouse sympathy from others, as a form of manipulation, and always for a selfish cause or reason. Self-righteous - Piously sure of one’s own righteousness; moralistic. Exhibiting pious self-assurance. Holier-than-thou, sanctimonious. Senile - Showing a decline or deterioration of physical strength or mental functioning, esp. short-term memory and alertness, as a result of old age or disease. Shallow - Lacking depth of intellect or knowledge; concerned only with what is obvious. Smart Ass - Thinks they know it all, and in some ways they may, but they can be greatly annoying and difficult to deal with at times, especially in arguments. Soft-hearted - Having softness or tenderness of heart that can lead them into trouble; susceptible of pity or other kindly affection. They cannot resist helping someone they see in trouble, suffering or in need, and often don’t think of the repercussions or situation before doing so. Solemn - Deeply earnest, serious, and sober. Spineless - Lacking courage. Cowardly, wimp, lily-livered, gutless. Spiteful - Showing malicious ill will and a desire to hurt; motivated by spite; vindictive person who will look for occasions for resentment. Vengeful. Spoiled - Treated with excessive indulgence and pampering from earliest childhood, and has no notion of hard work, self-care or money management; coddled, pampered. Having the character or disposition harmed by pampering or over-solicitous attention. Squeamish - Excessively fastidious and easily disgusted. Stubborn - Unreasonably, often perversely unyielding; bull-headed. Firmly resolved or determined; resolute. Superstitious - An irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear from an irrational belief that an object, action, or circumstance not logically related to a course of events influences its outcome. Tactless - Lacking or showing a lack of what is fitting and considerate in dealing with others. Temperamental - Moody, irritable, or sensitive. Excitable, volatile, emotional. Theatrical - Having a flair for over dramatizing situations, doing things in a ‘big way’ and love to be ‘centre stage’. Timid -Tends to be shy and/or quiet, shrinking away from offering opinions or from strangers and newcomers, fearing confrontations and violence. Tongue-tied - Speechless or confused in expression, as from shyness, embarrassment, or astonishment. Troublemaker - Someone who deliberately stirs up trouble, intentionally or unintentionally. Unlucky - Marked by or causing misfortune; ill-fated. Destined for misfortune; doomed. Parker Luck. Unpredictable - Difficult to foretell or foresee, their actions are so chaotic it’s impossible to know what they are going to do next. Untrustworthy - Not worthy of trust or belief. Backstabber. Vain - Holding or characterized by an unduly high opinion of their physical appearance. Lovers of themselves. Conceited, egotistic, narcissistic. Weak-willed - Lacking willpower, strength of will to carry out one’s decisions, wishes, or plans. Easily swayed. Withdrawn - Not friendly or sociable. Aloof, or reclusive. Zealous - A fanatic.
he’s used to keeping some people out – namely his family – if only to afford them a meager bit of privacy. ( alice especially, because her constantly shifting visions of every possible future are excruciating. he often wonders which sibling got the worst deal, and he’s never able to decide. )
but this girl, whoever she is, is possessed of something MUCH worse. he’s fairly certain that she isn’t a vampire, but if there is a pulse of blood beneath her skin, he can’t find it. he knows that the werewolves can read minds as well ( although only the ones of those within their pack ), but she isn’t a werewolf, either.
she smells too nice.
if she’s a human with this sort of power … … he isn’t sure what that means.
there’s a sudden, violent wave of regret for the ache behind his temples. ( no doubt she didn’t anticipate encountering another telepath. ) she doesn’t owe him the feeble apologies that she’s barely even able to form, and as difficult as he knows it’s going to be to climb up out of the depths of her ( and everyone else’s ) mind, he has to try.
he thinks of their faces, one by one – carlisle esme emmett rosalie alice jasper – until the only thing he’s aware of is the breeze and the quiet thrum of mediocrity.
❝ It’s alright. I understand. ❞
risks a glance at the girl, offers a gracious smile.
❝ I admit, I’ve never had to try and keep my own thoughts out of someone else’s head, but I’ll try. I’m Edward. ❞
says the last almost as an aside.
❝ It’s a pleasure to meet you. ❞
she can feel him pulling back, withdrawing his mind from hers, though it does little to quiet the noise. he may be out of her head but he’s still there with everyone and everything else. still mixed into the constant pounding sound of life ringing in her ears, in her head. at least he’s trying. it’s better than nothing. though his way of keeping himself from her head is near a problem in and of itself. as names and faces pass through his mind they pass through hers. names and years and years and years. it’s dizzying how long they’ve lived. too long for her head to remain uncrowded in any sense of the word. maybe it would be better for her to leave, to go away from edward and put distance between his very loud life and her head. but he’s talking to her and that would be rude. “hi. i, uhm. i’m circe. good, nice to. met. meet you.” meet. it’s meet because it’s happening now and hasn’t already happened. even if she knows about him, his life and death and life again, and it’s all jumbled up again now that she’s thinking about it. small hands ball up in the soft yellow fabric of her skirt in an effort to hide how they shake. it’s so much.
LIKE AN URBAN CASSANDRA