@thoughtskay - Tumblr Blog

Do I believe in love at first sight? I think I actually do…

Maybe not love exactly and entirely itself, but I think you can feel a very vivid, unlike-the-rest, visual, unspoken connection at first sight. Maybe it’s more so strong interest and curiosity, openness to make love happen eventually. Like theyve gotten an express pass and you move forward but already wanting to love them- from first sight.

In the end it will all work out and it will all be ok. We live and we move on.

I heard someone say one time “life itself is forgiving!” You need to forgive yourself (possibly others too) even when you get a paper cut, your body heals and we move on like it never happened. Your skin doesn’t hold it against you for the rest of time that you accidentally got a paper cut. We deal w what we have to deal w and we move forward. Every day is a new beginning w brand new potential and possibilities if you are open to taking/recognizing them.

If this is the exact life you would have always wanted to work out, then there’s no point to look around and to let yourself feel lack/behind/doubt in regard to what other people are doing, what they have. There is no comparison, if that’s not even the life you wanted in the first place. So just keep going and make the one you want work out. (It always will) (as long as action is being taken, something will fall into place at some point)

Will this make sense? If I do this/say this/pursue this? Eh who cares, its your life anyways. No one has to understand (ofc its nice to feel understood, but I think a lot of personal confusion and doubt comes from the expectation/goal to be understood by others) and realizing the issue was never what you wanted/how you wanted to do it, but then to filter it through the lens of “how will it best be perceived” rather than how you actually feel/wanted to do it.

And if you needed it to happen, it would. Why would you miss out on what is right/what you need? And then whatever passes you by is what was not right/needed anyways to still get to what you want/what would be best in the end.

Can I lose some body fat? Sure, but then I’d be hungry! Why would I want to be that?! What is the purpose/logic/benefit? Will it make me a better person? A better dancer? Will it make me enjoy my life experience more? No! The only plus would be that it will unlock opportunities and people but who otherwise would not see any value/pay any attention to me if and eventually when I am back to my normal, original, most natural self…. The validation stops when I start to be myself

realizing that some feelings/questions/doubts/worries are not dependent on the current situation. but its just the way i think in general. id have the same thoughts (insecurities) at age 20 as i do age 40, when i have this current job or when im at the next one, with this friend and w a new one 10 years from now.

thoughts like "am i good enough" "what do i need to do to keep receiving love/support/attention" its not bc of the situation or person, its the lens i see my life through.

new glasses, new (different) view.

Does it take time or am i just doing it wrong? Are these inevitable inconveniences that anyone/everyone would have to deal with and experience or is this just not the right thing for me to be doing/pursing?

Sorry, if my heart doesn’t agree, then I can’t do it. That’s the entire explanation.

Baseline for decision making: what would 7 year old you think about what you’re doing? Would they be like “🤨🤨🤨what are you doing?” or would she be like “😍🤩🥳ooh nice”

She genuinely already knew/had all the answers.

i know i will like you and we will most likely click as soon as i realize you have the NF personality type

Every dream we have is all about a feeling. It’s not the thing we want exactly, it’s the feeling we think we are going to finally be able to feel once we get it. It’s good to know bc you could actually get to that feeling in a lot of different ways. So if you can be open to that (that it could possibly look super different than you originally thought/wanted) then really the final outcome is limitless!

It opens a whole new world of possibilities to still be able feel/experience the way you want, but now it’s not only limited to one specific thing/person (which who even knows if it would’ve even been best for you anyways...)

(*paraphrased from podcast i once heard*)

Things will get better and you will get there. Sometimes the road can get bumpy before it gets better. But really however you feel, wherever you are- is wherever you leave off. There is always more to the story bc it’s your own story! You can always write the next chapter, rewrite whatever you want.

Nothing gets by without your approval or refusal to proceed. Sometimes we forget this but at the end of the day, it is you and only you in charge of how things will go like you are the final editor and executive producer of your own story/narrative.

There is always more/a sequel if you want to write it.

You were never even mine!! Why am I so devestated!

theres nothing to let go of and no reason I should feel bad/sad. There was nothing to even begin w, only in my head.

You are always making progress. And today is the furthest youve ever come. Its not for nothing, you are doing better than you think and you are always on your way :)

Always worth it to try something new than to stick with something you know you don’t like or resonate with anymore

One thing will always to another but nothing leads to more nothing (no change leads to no change)

One day you will figure this out and once you do, then you’ll want to find something else to figure out.

One day you will get to where youve been wanting to get to/go and then once you’re there, then there will be somewhere new to want to go/get to

Theres always more to see/do, thank goodness. Enjoy the way there, enjoy today

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