Thoughts Of A Random Boy @thoughtsofarandomboy-blog - Tumblr Blog

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One Year Ago

One year ago a book was open

One year ago a heart was broken

One year ago celebrations were made

One year ago I did not know I would be played

One year ago I showed you my way

One year ago I did not know it would scary you away

One year ago everything was fine

One year ago I did not know you would change your mind

One year ago you said I was special

One year ago it struck my blood vessels

One year ago that was the moment I knew

One year ago I was no longer your muse

#poem #break up #one year ago

Drivingg

I have bought a car.

I have finished my driving classes

I haven’t been approved in the final test.

I haven’t gotten my driving license.

I fear driving.

I feel frustrared.

I have to overcome!

#driving

Language and this post

Well, language is amazing, isn’t it? I mean, through this amazing element, we are able to being human. Every single activity that we do is mediated by language. It has so many fucking epic functions, but today I am not here to talk about all of them (it is humanly impossible, to be honest). I want to connect one of the functions to this post,

Have you ever observed how you use language? Have you ever questioned yourselves why people go to social medias, for example, and through language, complain about life? They are not only complaining, in fact, they are using this semiotic material to go through life. Language has this amazing function of being used as a psychologial tool that helps us to carry out tasks that we consider difficult. That’s why, I believe, that when we are going through difficult times in life, we tend to “complain” about it, in all worlds that we are inserted into, as a way of calming ourselves, of sensing that we are, for sure, trying to accomplish our goal which, in this case, is being in peace. That’s why today I am in here: I want to be in peace with myself. Therefore, I am writing as a way to feel better.

Yesterday, a becoming-a-close-friend of mine sent me a message saying sorry. I was very surprised because I didn’t expect it. I questioned him what happened and then he told me that he and my ex - the one I still like and is the reason of most of my posts here - are texting. My friend is new in town and he, according to his words, did not know that the boy he is texting with is my ex. He asked me if I was ok with that: OF COURSE, I AM NOT OK. That is what I wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t because I have no right to step it up and do so. My ex is free and so is he (and he didn’t know). I told him to do what he wants, but I didn’t complete the sentence: whatever you do in life, there are consequences. I am not mad at my friend or at my ex, because that’s how life works, but I have feelings that I can not control because we don’t learn how to control them at schools. I think he went out with my ex yesterday, so he won’t be going out with me and that’s the elliptically consequence. Maybe, that’s the first lesson he will be learning in this new stage of his life and that’s amazing!

Well, I feel better now that I’ve written this. Language is my best friend <3

#language #linguistics #friends #fuck it

2017 so far.

Well, this year did not start marvously like I was expecting due to the event that took place on December 14th (a date that i shall never forget). It made me very blue, down, teared-up. But I am finally able to say that I am OK and for that I have to thank this big group of friends that I am part of! They have really supported me throughout these last couple of months.

I also have to thank my moments of studying and focusing on myself. I am so FUCKING happy because I am attending the masters course. I have found myself there weekly. I have been learning so freaking much. I have always been a language lover, but now the levels are higher: I have been looking at language as this at-the-same-time builder and letal weapon able to do wonderful things, but that can change everything in a minute if you are not careful with it. I just love the fact that everything we do is mediated by language and being able to recognize and study such issue makes me so empowered because now I am so much aware to people’s speech and ideologies and, of course, I pay much more attention to what I say and how I say. Anyways, it makes me really great!

I am using this space to talk about something that occured, specifically, last week. I was trying to get back to the guy who lead my first bad in 2016, but he is such a jerk, I have a theory about him: he likes negativity around him and for sure I am not a negative person, so I am not to be around him. I was able to state something that made him run away. I see that as proof of my personal growth. I was able to put myself first which is something that I would not be able to do last year fearing people leave me: People leave anyway, so put yourself first if that’s your concern. Complete yourself and find people who will hiper-saturate you.

#reflections #reflexão #english writing #complete yourself #2017

Loving this!

#piercing #body piercing #nippe piercing

Honestidade

Talvez seja a hora de ser honesto comigo mesmo e começar a refletir sobre o que anda passando na minha cabeça. Por que eu não sinto nada, mas ao mesmo tempo sinto tudo? Será que no “jogo do amor” (porque isso não é porra de amor algum) eu perdi e por isso me sinto tão frustrado? Eu odeio perder e odeio muito mais admitir isso para as pessoas. Não quero que elas conheçam esse meu lado competitivo. É feio ser assim? Não sei, mas não quero ser julgado por isso porque isso quebraria a imagem que as pessoas tem de mim. Que imagem é essa? De que sou um modelo a ser seguido só porque faço as coisas que são da minha obrigação: me dedicar aquilo que vai me proporcionar um bom futuro.

Às vezes, odeio a imagem que as pessoas tem de mim, por mais que me orgulhe dela, porque ela não é 100% quem eu sou de verdade. Quem eu sou de verdade? Uma pessoa com falhas que não admite possuí-las por justamente voltar na questão de romper com o que as pessoas visualizam de mim!

#desabafo #honestidade #perfeição #falhas #imagem

magiclyrics

// I Almost Do // Taylor Swift //

seethestarlights

udontneedtosaveme-inactive-deac

In dreams, I meet you in warm conversation.

swirledyouintoallofmypoems

fireferret1119

I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can’t say hello to you and risk another goodbye…

Everytime I don’t, I almost do.

Hey, Carlos here.

How are you? Hope you are not doing fine, hope you are feeling as bad as I am at this right fucking moment.

Boy, I miss you so much. Do you miss me at all? I have been wondering this since you broke up with me last Wednesday. I mean, I cried, you cried too. Why did you cry? Were you sad too? So, please, answer me honestly: Why do we have to end? I love you like I’ve never loved somebody for a long time.

Do you need a time to think this over? I really want you to consider our 4 months together. Wasn’t it smooth, you said that to me? Ok, I get it. You want to focus on your studies and you are more than right by putting this on the top of your list, but it humanly possible to manage love and studying. It is.

We are going to be this one month away from each other and I promisse I won’t bother you again, but consider this message. I miss you, I miss your presence, I miss your kisses, your hugs. Think about it and give me your answer when you are back. I love you.

I wish I wasn’t too proud and too afraid to send it

#I almost do #break up #i love you #i miss you

Rainy Night

You know you love somebody when you face a heavy rain just to see the loved one.

#love #rainy night