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$LAYYYTER
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@thoughtsthoughtsandmorethoughs
It makes me sad that I cant stop thinking about you. Its so unfair to my relationship. I love him, but deep down I crave you.. I feel like I’m just waiting for you to break my heart so I won’t feel this overwhelming desire, eat at me everyday.
Im going through such a weird time rn
I dont know how to say this but I absolutely miss you. I guess i shouldve seen this coming. It for the best. But it doesnt change the fact that i know what its like to
Be on an adventure of conversation with you.
To run wild,
To explore,
To peer into your soul,
To support eachother when the going gets tough,
To get lost in it all
& now we hardly have words. Again, its for the best.. but i still miss you.. so damn badly!
I cant seem to express this enough!
The thought of you haunts me!
All I have are thoughts.
Who am I anymore..
I dont know how to say this but I absolutely miss you. I guess i shouldve seen this coming. It for the best. But it doesnt change the fact that i know what its like to
Be on an adventure of conversation with you.
To run wild,
To explore,
To peer into your soul,
To support eachother when the going gets tough,
To get lost in it all
& now we hardly have words. Again, its for the best.. but i still miss you.. so damn badly!
I wish the me on the outside
Matched
The thing on the inside
I hate that i love you
But love how full you make me feel...
Why does the thought of you torment me so?
I hope i dont torment you too..

Im sad
It was easier to say
But ten times harder to feel
You are my mirror
I see you, you see me
When i reach out to touch you
Its almost as if your really there
But it cold to the touch
Warm at heart
Sometimes i just want to scream i love you
Just to get you stay
Just so things will never change
I want you all to myself
And its just not fair
Losing you is like life without air
A piece of my heart
A song we used to share
The lyrics breathed life into my soul
We kept gliding across the dance floor
I long to see you staring back at me
That look in your eye
Gets me high
Promise me youll never say goodbye...
Im obsessed with love
And i dont know why
You, you, you
What have you done to me
Engrained in my mind
Im burden by the weight of your soul
Im being lead to your doorstep
But i cant bring myself to knock
This force is ravaging me
Piece by piece im torn
I am a mosaic of my experiences
Standing out here in the cold
Waiting, to be enrobed in warmth
A comfort,
An answer to the door.
Right now im just a storm cloud of emotions and i dont know how to cope. I probably just need to voice my opinions and let it out. Ive probably been storing these emotions for a long time, and put off a lot of my feelings to bury them and just keep it pushing. I should know better. Sleep is probably my only sense of escape. I wish this wasnt the thing on the forefront of my mind. Why am i so dead set on my significant other loving what i love?
I just feel very dead inside right now.
So much so that i dont want to type my thoughts anymore. Byeee
JUNGLE FEVER
Just tell her how you feel.
I still remember The first time that I saw you
Nothing too different but it felt new
Who knew this kinda thing would feel so true
I ain’t gonna lie I was kinda shy
And then I realized it was easier saying hi
After seeing how hard it was to say bye
Lucky me, lucky you
Fell in love in Ezoo
Walking through a concrete jungle like it’s made for 2
You spark something in me, something I entirely forgotten about. Burried deep within me. Maybe a side of me I tend to neglect. Something only you seem to be stirring up. A muse. Thank you for that.
I love all of you. Seeing your fun zaney side. How sometimes when you start to ramble your voice gets lower and lower, almost like your nervous or awkward. & you dont even notice. Meanwhile your hands are telling a different story, moving in the same manner as somone trying to spit game, but your quirkiness over rides any attempt at being smooth. Our bond continues to grow. Its been so refreshing to know you. I just want to peer more and more into who you are. As close as can be.
Picaso spits game
Where do I draw the line?
All these pastel thoughts scribbled down, but vivid
The color of you burned into my soul
I was speed drawing
With each stroke I uncover this raw, unexpected image
A perfect canvas.
I’m only happy in our relationship when I’m with you
Hanging out with you once a week for only six hours feels like a tease
Yes we are both adults and very independent. I don’t need you around all the time.
However, we’re dating, I want to someday be a wife. To be your wife. I want to want you and like when you want me.
To be so wanted that you can’t keep me off your mind. & I want to feel that way about you too.
It feels so good to give love and have that same love come right back.
But we lack that..
Your too.. casual. Too unconcerned. Too involved in what you’ve got going on to stop for a moment to think of me.
At least that’s my perception anyways..
I’m starting to feel very one sided in my issues & in our relationship
Don’t get me wrong I absolutely adore you and have never felt love the way you love and it’s amazing!
But,
At the same time I just dont feel like you ever go above and beyond for me. I crave more from you all the time.
You never exceed my expectations..
You’re never surprising or out of the box
You never romance me..
I want so much more in a life partner...
But then again, maybe its just me’
I’m starting to hurt from what I think other people’s hurt must have felt like...
Having this newfound sense of compassion is so strange. It’s definitely something I’ve prayed to God about for years. I don’t know what clicked in my brain for me to suddenly have this ability, but it’s such a weight. I’m learning. I’m trying to figure out how to comfort those with internal suffering. & how to mourn the healing of those who are too late in their need for comfort and healing. There’s just so much pain and confusion in our world. I hate that relationships tangle and get so messy, when it’s so easy to just be kind..
It’s been so long
I wish I could write about myself the way I wrote about other people. There’s not enough internal self love to pour out on a page.. the last time I recall doing so was at least 6 years ago
A shame
When your boyfriend is mega fit and has no immediate desire to help you do the same...
Every man for himself