Thought with May

Just a girl just trying to figure life out.

[thoughtswithmay]

Once I found self-love im now the happiest I have ever been; you too can find it.

[thoughtswithmay]

Everyone hates me

Everyone hates me for some reason. For the reason, I’ll never seem to understand, I've never done anything to hurt them, I’ve always been there when they need me the most. No matter how big the problem was/is I got them, but my loyalty doesn’t seem to matter to anyone. Everyone wants sweet and bubbly, but that's just not me. I may not be sweet or bubbly, but you need me. You use me. When your health is rolling down a big hill you come and make me think that everything and everyone has told you finally got through your head, but it didn’t. As soon as the doctor gives you the clear, you go back to that sweet, bubbly bitch and leave me in the dust. I may not be sweet or bubbly or have any color. But god damn it I am important to your life. I am water.

[thoughtswithmay]

Him & Her

This is a story about a boy and a girl that learned about each other's souls. They started out getting butterflies every time they saw each other. They grew together and fell madly in love with one another. They told each other their deepest, darkest secrets. They had trust, love, and passion for each other, but one thing they lack was commutation. You may be thinking how well talking about all the negative things they both did was hard for them. Not because of they admitting their wrings but because neither of them liked focusing on the negative, they both are naturally happy, positive people; because of this, the physical relationship died. However, the love and passion that they had for each other is still there and probably stronger than ever now. As for the trust, they have both done stuff to break that which happens in a toxic relationship. Regardless of whatever happens between them, that’s still her fu booty and his baby girl.

[thoughtswithmay]

Makeup

Some people look at you like its something you put on your face. I look at it as a form of art. The artistry that goes into it, the time. Knowing which products work for you and your skin type, then trying to see if that product plays well with others. The brush you need to complete a look, figuring out which for you. The right one for blush, contour, bronzer, highlight, etc. Do you prefer a brush or a sponge to apply your foundation? And let's not forget the amount of time we spend blending so everything comes out seamless. All and all makeup isn't just something you put on your face its an art, a beautiful one at that.

[thoughtswithmay]

Me

In 2019 I really want to take my writing seriously, so I feel as readers you should know a little bit about me. I don’t want to make this one of those corny papers you have to fill out the first day of school. Although I have a gut feeling that this is what it’s going to turn into. Well here goes nothing...

1. Writing is my biggest passion

2. I love makeup

3. I love exploring different types of fashion 

4. Exercising is my form of meditation

5. Astrology plays a big part in my life

Well, that didn’t turn out too bad, I hope.

[thoughtswithmay]

2019

You’re here, welcome. The excitement, rush has been having me planning everything that I was to start or thing that I have finally put to bed. Simply because they have been on my mind for a way too long and its time to focus on something different. Mostly because I need a new feeling. You know that feeling, the feeling when you get soo excited that you get nervous. Here’s a secret about me, I crave that feeling. It makes me feel important. I know you’re probably dying to know what my goals are for the year. Here’s the thing I've decided to not to share them. Heres why, I don't want anyone to disturb my focus. I also, want to practice moving silently. Just know I have big plans/goals for the year that I will be working for and manifesting. Actually, I will tell you one thing, mostly because I want to talk about it with you. I want to start talking to the universe more. I wanna know her to a more personal level. She knows everything about me and helps me through so much that I wanna know if I could help her. This is the part where you might think that I’m on something; however, I’m not I picky promise. Here’s my thought process behind it; we as humans ask for so much/ except so much, that we never take a step back and ask if anyone else needs anything. Whether it's just a stranger or your mom. This comes from focusing on yourself and only yourself, which is fine but I personally think that there a balance and should be a balance. The balance is to simply know how today no when you don't want to do something and to remember to offer help because you aren't the only person going through difficult times. Moral of the story is, be a good person.

[thoughtswithmay]

2018

It started off normal, well as normal as I'm used too. Oh, but not for long. February 17th to be exact. The most heartbreaking thing happened; the love of my life tore my heart out of my chest and threw in the fire. The tears kept falling and my mind kept wondering. The more I wonder the more the tears kept exiting my eyelids like a revolving door. As the months went on I kept acting like I fire but inside I was dying. No matter who I talked too they were just trying to boost my spirit, which don’t get me wrong I deeply appreciate; although, sometimes I just want someone to listen to me. 

This is when my spiritual journey began. This journey made me work through things that haunted me since I was 12. Some of my days felt like they ran together and others felt like they wouldn’t end. There were days where I would sit in my bed and cry and didn’t know why. There were other days when I couldn’t stop smiling. If you’re reading this know going through your own journey this is completely normal. To find true happiness you have to go through every emotion. You’re going to be happy, sad, mad, etc. but don’t give up because I promise you its all worth it in the end.

 You wanna know something wild, the person who broke my hear heart turned into my best friend and honestly I couldn’t begin to imagine my life without him. 

2018 you were a hell of a year. Full of ups and downs, but a year that I needed more than anything. 

[thoughtswithmay]

Confidence

A word that can make or break a person. A word that sadly not a lot of people know. Tons of people have heard it; however, they never took the time to get to know the word and all of its beauty behind it. I myself didn’t know this word until earlier this year. It all started from a heartbreak that turned into a dragonfly getting her wings. The process wasn’t easy, but the beautiful things in life never are. 

Confidence; noun; A feeling of power that no one can take from you.

Having confidence in yourself, your work, your relationships, or just life its self is truly an inspiring blessing.  

[thoughtswithmay]

Love

A feeling that if your lucky you get to experience at least a few times in your life. I've experienced twice; not that I've only had two boyfriends but two that i can say that i loved. The first one was in eighth grade (i know 12 years dont know what love is but i think its something that you just know). He was sweet, kind, and i could tell that he was really down for me at the time. He was tall, dark skinned and had a beautiful smile. He made feel wanted, like thousands people could be in the room but i had he's uninvited attention which was dope. Things took a turn for the worse and we broke up. The second was a time when I thought i found the one. Again tall, dark skinned and had a beautiful smile (you can i see i have a type). He was the only person the i truly felt comfortable with, he was someone who i opened up about a lot of shit and im a scorpio so you know it was real. Again shit happened and we broke up and i was a mess. Luckily i have the most amazing friends that helped me through it. For anyone who is going through a break up just know that you ARE worth it and you will find love again. Love is crazy, beautiful, passionate, and simple a beautiful thing.