â kathryn hahn / aubrey plaza / agatha all along
â marvel and dc comics / cinematic universe / shows
â and the occasional x reader fics
â this blog is also mostly 18+ so mdni !
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#rambles.txt - textposts/thought dumps/rambles
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This is the final version of Agatha Harknessâ tarot card, naming her as âthe neighbourâ. This one includes the azaleas she used to kill Sparky, Wandaâs hex in the background, and her brooch.
Chapter Summary: It's interview day and nothing is going right. With your final round interviewer being someone you would never have expected, will you be able to hold it together?
Word Count: 7.5k
Warnings/Tags for This Chapter: Describes an anxiety attack, unsafe living environment, past psychological abuse, hurt/comfort
Series Masterlist AO3
â
You lean your back against the counter in front of the espresso machine, glancing down, the digital calendar glares back at you.
Romanoff-Maximoff Global.
It was the last company you expected to hear back fromâif you even factored them into your reality at all. You vividly remembered the moment you submitted that application. It had been a desperate Hail Mary thrown into a sea of listings, a wild shot at the most prestigious entity in the corporate world. As a leading consulting and venture capital firm, their name was a household fixture, synonymous with an elite, gatekept world of wealth. The firm was notorious for its fiercely guarded internship cohorts and a grueling, multi-stage interview process designed to break lesser candidates.
The very same interview you were just offered.
You tap your finger against the side of your phone, going through all the logistics in your mind before the morning rush begins. The available dates only have morning openings, ninety minutes. Meaning, itâll be a two-stage interview. Youâll have to cut one of your shifts at the coffee shop short, or call out altogether. It isnât something you can exactly afford. Getting the internship is the only way itâll be worth the loss in wages.
You glance up at the sound of the door chime.
A student walks into the shop, a backpack slung over her shoulder and her phone pressed to her ear. âMom, am I supposed to separate my clothes by color when I do my laundry?â The student looks up, giving your coworker an apologetic smile. âAt least darks and lights? Okay, cool. Love you.â She hangs up and begins ordering.
Watching her, you remember having to figure everything out entirely on your own. Three burnt eggs. A load of laundry destroyed. Smacking your printer until it finally worked. Even down to securing your very first part-time job.
A notification flashes across the top of your screen, breaking your train of thought.
Your older sister.
Hey, you havenât texted me back in a while. Do you not love me anymore? Haha, call me soon.
You open your text history with her. The last time you messaged her was three months ago, a brief note assuring her that everything is going well. You scroll backward, tracing the conversation history to the earliest saved messages. The gaps of time between your responses grow longer and longer the further down you scroll.
Do you not love me anymore?
It isn't her fault she doesn't know. You silently left that day, and the only explanation you gave her was that you were excited to start school. If thereâs a feeling greater than love, then thatâs what you feel for your sister. Itâs a love that makes you willing to sacrifice anything for herâeven yourself. Itâs the very love that made you accept becoming a marionette for years, until you had no choice but to finally break away.
Now, you are still trying to stand, desperately trying to figure out who you are now that the strings are cut. And itâs because you love her so much that you canât talk to her. So instead, you don't respond, simply so you won't have to continue to lie to her.
You move your screen back to the digital calendar and choose the earliest date before you can think twice. Two days from now. Friday. Somehow, the message from your sister reminds you of exactly why youâre here.
Your coworker hands you the customer's order, and the morning rush begins.
â
The remainder of Wednesday brings back-to-back classes, paired with heavy assignments due for both the following Monday. Your sisterâs message lingers with you throughout your restaurant shift, dragging memories in its wake as you set plates down at customers' tables. The imperceptible shaking of your hands is becoming increasingly harder to ignore. You donât know if itâs from the interview looming, or from the fact that youâve fixed your hair for what feels like a hundred times today.
On Thursday, you finally ask one of your coworkers at the coffee shop to cover the latter half of your Friday shift. Guilt creeps in at the inconvenience youâre bestowing upon them, but this is your only chance. If you donât secure this internship now, youâll be forced to repeat this entire exhausting cycle next term, only to possibly face the exact same uncertain results.
University is exhausting, work is exhausting, and the panic rising in your chest is debilitating.
You glance at the timeâhalf past eleven. You close your laptop. The amount of studying youâve done is far from sufficient, especially with final exams around the corner, but you know youâre going to need all the rest you can get.
Possible interview questions replay endlessly in your mind as you check to make sure everything is prepared for tomorrow.
Tell me about yourself. There isnât much to say.
A black skirt you save for special occasions and one of your clean white collared shirts hang meticulously from the metal candleholder. You donât have any other clothes that would pass for professional wear.
What are your greatest strengths? I can manage to function on four hours of sleep.
Your wallet, notebook, and keys are packed securely inside your backpack.
What are your greatest weaknesses? So many.
Your phone sits on its charger, and a single granola bar rests on your desk, waiting to hold you over for the day ahead.
You turn off the light, and the room plunges into sudden darkness. Sitting at the edge of your bed, you feel the hard mattress digging into your thighs. Only the ugly parts of you come to mind. Answers no hiring manager would ever want to hear.
But deep down, you already know the truth. Despite the terror, despite the total lack of preparation, the practiced image of you will save you. It always does. The phantom strings still holding your spine taut will pull, and your confident, charismatic smile will appear on command. Your voice will alter into that perfect, magnetic cadence you were taught makes you more attractive. Youâll say whatever you need to say to get exactly what you want.
Itâs the only thing ingrained into you for years.
You hate that youâre this way. You despise how easily the mask slips on.
You lay back, your head finally resting against the pillow, praying that everything goes well tomorrow.
â
You wake up ten minutes before your alarm goes off, the light of your screen harsh against the darkness of your room. You let out a tired groan. You could sleep for ten more minutes, but waking up a second time will feel even worse.
Ten extra minutes to get ready, I guess. You try to be positive.
And you definitely needed them. The bags under your eyes are prominent, and it takes you far too long to finally make the decision to dab concealer beneath them. One of your shorter front strands has a mind of its own, refusing to stay down even after you use product.
You bite your lip in frustration as you rush back into your room to change into a t-shirt, since you didnât have the time to do laundry. Your jeans hang too loosely around your waist, forcing you to use the one and only belt you own.
It feels like all your last-minute preparations are going to waste as a sudden realization hits you. You wonât be able to hang your interview clothes in the backroom of the coffee house. The heavy smell of espresso and whatever else lingers in the air will seep right into the fabric.
You take the skirt and shirt off their hangers, folding them meticulously before placing them carefully at the bottom of your backpack. Pulling your keys out, you shrug your jacket over your shoulders and grab your phone off the bed. You rush to close your door and lock it while slinging the heavy backpack over your shoulder.
It feels like your brain is trying to leave your skull with the way it throbs with every breath you take.
The sound of someone entering through the front door makes you pause.
âOh hey, Iâm lucky to catch you. Heading out?â Mattâs voice echoes from the entrance.
He mustâve just finished his shift.
You twist the doorknob twice, making sure it is truly locked, before letting yourself fully come into view.
You greet him with a close-lipped smile. âHey, good morning. Yeah, Iâm in a real rush.â You step toward the front door, but he makes no move to get out of your way.
âIâm sure you can spare a minute," he says, staring down at you with an easy smile. "Do you want to hang out later?â
Nothing is going right this morning.
âIâm sorry, I probably canât. I have classes and work later.â You try to ease your arm past him, reaching carefully for the front door handle.
His smile drops for a split second before returning. He glances down at your arm, looking almost amused by your effort to bypass him. âNo problem. See you later.â
You open the heavy door and push past him into the crisp morning air. Turning back just before the frame clicks shut, you offer a tiny concession. âSee you,â you respond, forcing an apologetic look to your face.
The door closes before you can see his reaction. Not that you have the time. Youâre already sprinting toward the bus stop.
You manage to catch the bus just in time. Your head aches violently at the sudden rise in your heart rate, your pulse drumming in your ears.
Itâs barely five minutes into the bus ride to the coffee shop when you realize you forgot your granola bar.
â
You make an extra effort to greet customers brightly and carry conversations with them as you prepare their drinks. It feels like the only thing that can ease the guilt of leaving your shift early. Hopefully, seeing the extra tips left in the jar will make the impending loss in your paycheck a bit more bearable.
Behind every warm greeting and polite laugh, the interview looms heavily in your mind as the hours tick away. Finally, itâs time to clock out. The extra espresso shot you added to your americanoâmeant to carry you through the morningâfeels like it was tainted by your worst enemies.
Instead of feeling energized, you feel sluggish. Your brain feels like itâs processing everything slower than it usually does on four hours of sleep. The intense caffeine kick that normally eases your headaches only makes your skull pound, to the point that if you pressed a fingertip to your temple, youâre certain you would feel it violently pulsing.
You grab your backpack from the breakroom and carry it into the cramped bathroom. Zipping it open, you find your belongings completely shifted. The cover of your notebook bears fresh indentations from where your keys knocked against it during your walk. Your interview clothes, which you placed so meticulously at the bottom, are slightly unfolded and bunched to one side.
Your back presses against the bathroom door as you hug your backpack tight against your chest. You slide down the frame, the cold wood doing nothing to pull you out of your own mind. Itâs only when youâre sitting flat on the floor, your backpack pressed tightly between your torso and your legs, that you feel the first real emotion flicker through the numbness.
âSo stupid,â you whisper to yourself, over and over again.
Because what did you honestly think was going to happen by stuffing your clothes down there? Your right leg bounces uncontrollably against your arm. You rest your elbows heavily on your knees to stop the trembling, before burying your face in your hands, running your fingers through your hair and gripping it tightly.
You release your hair before it can no longer be salvaged. Strands hang in every direction in your peripheral vision from where your tight grip pulled them from the elastic.
You dislike yourself even more for worrying about your hair at a time like this.
Reaching back, you pull the tie completely free. Shorter strands fall loosely against your cheeks, blocking your vision from anything that isn't directly in front of you. You pull your interview clothes out of the backpack, unfolding them fully.
Wrinkled.
You suck in a sharp breath, biting your lip harshly as you force yourself to stand up off the floor. You hang your backpack from the coat hook and drape the clothes carefully over the top.
Your hands tremble as you unbuckle your belt and unbutton your jeans. It feels like all your strength is actively leaving your body as you push them down and fold them. Youâre operating entirely on autopilot. Your t-shirt follows. It takes two agonizing tries on every single button before your collared shirt is finally closed and tucked neatly into the waistband of your skirt.
You risk a glance at the mirror. Then instantly wish you hadnât.
Blood seeps from your bottom lip where your teeth mustâve punctured it earlier. The fabric of your shirt is noticeably wrinkled on the left side. Strands of your hair are raised in some areas, while entirely flat in others.
A complete wreck. Thatâs the only description for the reflection staring back at you.
Swiping your tongue over your bottom lip, you barely even feel the sting. Your right hand rises subconsciously, beginning to smooth over the creases on your side. Somehow, it feels less like a fix, and more like your body is desperately trying to comfort you because your mind simply wonât.
Combing your fingers through your hair, you let your nails drag against your scalp to remind yourself that you cannot afford to do this right now. The rigid tension in your shoulders drops, but it brings no relief. Instead, itâs replaced by a profound exhaustion, leaving you feeling as though youâve just survived a violent war with your own mind.
Reaching into your backpack, you pull out your phone, expecting at least half an hour to have passed. Youâre already mentally bracing yourself for a mad dash to the bus stop, preparing for the forty-five minute trip into the city.
Itâs only been seven minutes.
You zip up your backpack before slinging it over your shoulder. Glancing in the mirror one last time, you canât help but feel like you look especially hollow today. Fragile.
Suddenly, you can feel a ghost of a tight grip on your shoulder, fingernails digging deep beneath your collarbone.
âSmile. People are watching.â
The corners of your lips curve upward as if being pulled by invisible strings. Turning back toward the exit, you find the metal door handle cold against your palm.
You hope to leave this weak side of you behind in the bathroom before the interview begins.
â
You settle into the bus seat, hugging your backpack against you like a shield. The contrast between your first early morning transit and the subsequent, mid-day rides has never bothered you. This one is louder, more packed, with strangers constantly pressed close on all sides. Sometimes itâs impossible to find a seat, so perhaps youâre lucky today.
Except for the woman to your right, whose shoulder digs directly into yours as she talks loudly on her phone. You canât help but wince when she raises her voice at whoever is on the other end. Apparently, they forgot to set an appointment for her.
You hug your backpack even closer to your chest when she waves her arm in sheer frustration. Itâs a terrifyingly familiar sight. Loud voices. Placing blame. Disappointed expressions.
You were fortunate that you had never been struck.
It would blemish your skin, after all.
Keep it together, you remind yourself the moment you begin to deeply retreat within yourself.
The woman doesnât get off at the next stop. Instead, more people pack themselves onto the bus, and the ride only grows louder. The hard plastic of the seat digs into your back. The walls of the vehicle feel like theyâre closing in on you, trapping you in a symphony of shouting voices and shifting bodies.
Please, keep it together, you plead with yourself as the bus continues its grueling journey into the city.
â
You squeeze past the passengers standing tightly in the aisle and turn toward the bus driver, offering a grateful smile that you know falls flat with how tired your eyes feel. The driver gives you a brief once-over before shooting an encouraging smile back at you. Stepping off the bus, you walk down the plaza stairs with shaky, uneven steps.
It feels like everything has been completely out to get you today. Even yourself.
But you need this. This internship. To graduate. To get a stable job in the future. Because thatâs the entire point, right?
You force your chin up, refusing to let yourself waver as you look toward the towering monolith of reflective glass and steel ahead.
The Romanoff-Maximoff Global building is the tallest structure in the city. Itâs entirely fitting for the headquarters of a financial giant. Craning your neck upward, you can barely make out the massive corporate sign displayed proudly on the dark glass of the upper levels.
You take one deep, steadying breath before walking up the wide stone steps toward the grand entrance. The heavy glass doors slide open automatically when you step within range, and a rush of cool, synthetic-smelling air immediately wraps around you. Walking inside, it feels far more like stepping into a high-end luxury hotel than an office building.
The polished white marble floors perfectly reflect the warm light pouring down from the crystal chandeliers above, blending with the natural sunlight cutting through the massive windows to make the lobby feel impossibly bright. Resting areas are abundant, filled with long, plush couches and elegant armchairs. Perfectly arranged fresh flowers sit in heavy vases atop a multitude of pristine coffee and accent tables.
Itâs a room you have no business being in.
You scan the sprawling lobby ahead, where a row of people in tasteful, high-end professional wear are seated at sleek desks, intensely focused on whatever tasks they are working on. Your eyes jump anxiously from side to side before you quickly pull up the email on your phone to anchor yourself.
Check in at the front desk.
There are seven of them.
You grip the strap of your backpack resting on your shoulder. Your thoughts race at the possibility of walking up to one of the desks and getting the entirely wrong person. That would be your first memory at this company.
Your heart rate jumps at the thought, sending pangs of pain to your head, but youâre saved when one of the women working at one of the desks calls you forward.
The sound of your sneakers against the marble echo throughout the lobby and it feels like everyone is watching you, waiting for you to slip up. But when you look up, everyone still has their heads down, doing their jobs.
âHow can I help you?â the woman asks before youâre even fully at the desk.
âUm.â You scramble to open the email again before stepping the rest of the way and turning the screen toward her. âI have an interview today. Itâs in twenty minutes.â
She stares at your phone screen with an impassive expression, glancing up for a brief second. Her fingers tap a few keys on the keyboard, her eyes scanning the monitor before she looks back at you.
âTake the glass elevators on your left to the fifty-second floor,â she says, sliding a sleek black security card across the desk. âThe financial planning and analysis manager is expecting you.â
You take the card, your fingers brushing against the cool plastic. You nod a thank you, but sheâs already looking back down at her own screen.
Turning toward the left side of the lobby, you look at the rows of elevators. The black card feels heavy in your palm. You run your finger against the edge of it, letting the dull plastic dig into your fingertip.
The elevator doors open instantly after you tap the card against the scanner. Pressing the metal button for the fifty-second floor, you finally lean against the railing. The doors close, and the numbers on the digital screen rise alongside the elevator. You take a deep breath, holding it tightly, then finally release it.
With every exhale, you try to push out all the things that have gone wrong today. Waking up before your alarm was annoying. Matt being the first person you saw was inconvenient. The coffee shop shift completely burned through your social battery. Your breakdown in the bathroom left you listless. The loud, cramped bus ride overwhelmed you.
At least you have a little under twenty minutes to get your head on straight.
The elevator doors slide open, and youâre greeted by a stoic man dressed in a sharp suit.
âAre you my ten oâclock interview?â he asks bluntly.
âYes,â you respond, the word coming out almost like a question.
He gestures to his left, beckoning you forward. âGreat. We can start now since youâre already here. Follow me.â
You breathe in sharply. Youâre not ready. But you canât find it in yourself to ask for more time.
He begins walking down a long grey hallway without looking back once as you trail behind him. His strides are long, and it takes whatever remaining energy you have just to keep pace.
The fifty-second floor feels like the exact opposite of the lobby. Dark wallpaper, dim lighting, and an eerie silence hangs over the space. Stopping at a white door, he opens it and ushers you inside.
The room fits the grim aesthetic of the rest of the floor, but the complete lack of windows makes it feel more like an interrogation room. He takes a seat at a desk against the far wall before pointing to the single chair in front of him.
âSit down.â
âIâm Mark. The FP&A manager. Iâll be conducting your interview today.â He glances down at the papers resting on his desk. Before you can introduce yourself, he has already begun.
âWalk me through what a $10 depreciation does to financial statements, assuming a 25% tax rate.â
Your brain doesn't even pause to process the sudden prompt. Instead, the ingrained image within you activates. The strings snap your posture a fraction tighter, and the practiced, effortless warmth floods into your expression on command. You block the exhaustion, the pounding headache, and the hollow ache in your stomach behind a glass wall you know will break eventually.
It just canât be today.
You need to be perfect.
When you speak, your voice slides perfectly into that clear, confident cadence you were taught to use.
âAssuming a 25% tax rate, a $10 depreciation expense reduces net income by $7.50,â you begin smoothly, your lips holding a charming smile. âThis increases ending cash by $2.50 on the cash flow statement, balancing the assets and equity sides of the balance sheet down by $7.50.â
Mark holds your gaze for a moment before continuing. âGood,â he says with a faint smile. âLetâs continue.â
â
You stare at the white door Mark has just exited through. The prompts and questions had been endless, one popping up right after the other the exact second you finished answering, leaving absolutely no room for rest.
âWalk me through how the Income Statement, Balance Sheet, and Cash Flow Statement are connected.â
âHow do interest rates affect a company's borrowing costs?â
âWhat is EBITDA, and why do we use it?â
You let out a shaky breath. The smile melts from your face, and your eyes drift closed.
The last forty-five minutes saturate into your body. Your shoulders drop completely, as if they can no longer hold themselves up against the weight of the day. The moment your eyes shut, it feels like the windowless room is spinning as a severe wave of lightheadedness sets in.
One more interview, you reason with yourself, the thought a desperate plea to convince your own body not to give up just yet.
But itâs as if your body knows youâre lying. It knows that after this, you will have to take the bus back to your university, walk to class, followed by another lecture, and then face your restaurant shift tonight. It isn't just this interview.
You fight against your own limbs to force your shoulders upright. Your eyes snap open at the sound of voices right outside the room. The words are muffled behind the thick wood, but it sounds like a casual back-and-forth. You easily catch the confused inflection in Mark's tone.
The door opens suddenly. You wipe the tired expression off your face instantly, replacing it with an easy smile. Turning around, you see Mark standing beside a shorter woman.
âHi,â the woman greets you warmly. âIâm Cindy. Iâll be taking you to the next round of the interview.â
Mark stares down at her with squinted eyes before turning his gaze to you and offering a brief nod.
âHello,â you respond as you stand up, grabbing your backpack off the floor and sliding the straps over your shoulders. Your legs wobble slightly under the sudden pressure of your weight. Forcing your posture straight, you nod politely at him. âThank you for the interview today.â
He gives you a small smile before you walk out the door and follow Cindy down the dimly lit hallway. She taps a gold colored card against the scanner and the elevator doors slide open. She gestures for you to enter before she steps besides you and presses the button labeled C.
She turns to you with an encouraging smile. âDonât be nervous.â She pauses, tilting her head slightly. âThough, I have to admit, Iâve never seen an undergraduate internship interview take place on the C-suite floor.â
Huh?
C-suite⌠that canât be right. Anybody studying anything within the business major knows exactly what the C-suite is.
The highest-ranking senior executives in the entire corporation.
You glance up at the screen displaying the floor numbers. They just keep rising. It feels like the elevator is moving significantly faster than it did on your trip to the fifty-second floor.
The elevator stops smoothly and the doors slide open, revealing an open floor plan flooded with light from towering skylights above. You have to squint, adjusting your eyes from the stark dimness of the previous floor.
Stepping forward behind Cindy, you scan the area. The floor is made of polished dark wood that looks spotless. The center holds multiple plush couches where you assume high-value investors and shareholders sit while waiting for appointments. A long counter rests on the right, the top crafted from white marble with light wood detailing the cabinet space beneath. A high-end coffee machine sits on the surface, surrounded by neatly arranged pods and endless amenities. Chips, cookies, fruit.
Your stomach caves in on itself at the sheer sight of the food.
Itâs just as quiet up here as it was on the fifty-second floor, but somehow it doesnât hold the same eerie atmosphere. Instead, with the sunlight streaming down and the rich aroma of coffee in the air, you feel your shoulders naturally settling.
Massive executive offices line the far wall, each room looking at least ten times the size of your bedroom. Your view inside is completely blocked by heavy wooden frames and dark, one-way glass.
Cindy leads you to the office furthest to the right. You trail closely behind, still craning your head to absorb the pure opulence of the floor. Opening the door, she gestures for you to go inside.
âHave a seat right in the chair in front of the desk. Your interviewer will be coming in shortly.â
She gives you a warm smile that you mirror instantly out of habit, before she steps back and closes the heavy door with a soft thud.
You canât help but look around the bright office. The left wall holds two massive bookcases lined with a vast array of books, their spines varying in every color. The right wall features a shelf filled with small decorative pieces and jewelry. The brilliant gold and silver of the rings lined across the wooden shelf reflect the sunlight streaming in from the floor-to-ceiling windows behind the desk.
Taking a few paces forward, you reach the single armchair in front of the desk. Slipping your backpack off your shoulders, you place it securely against the base of the chair. As you sit down, the high-end leather feels soft and accommodating against the bare skin beneath your thighs.
You take a deep breath in. Somehow, the room smells exactly how a warm summer night feels. The aroma envelopes you completelyâthe scent of flowers that bloom in the peak of July and sun-warmed concrete. Even the temperature of the office feels absolutely perfect against your cold, shivering skin.
Itâs the first time youâve felt genuinely comfortable all day.
You finally glance at the desk in front of you. Itâs crafted from a dark, rich wood that you can tell is of exceptionally high quality without even touching it. A computer monitor rests to the left, the screen faced entirely away from you. Papers scatter the surface in a way that looks messy, but strictly organized at the same time. A picture frame made of light wood sits at the far right of the desk. The noticeably worn edges of the frame make you believe that the owner must pick it up often.
Your gaze drifts to the elegant nameplate resting right in front of the picture frame.
Wanda D. Maximoff. CFO.
Whatâ
The door opens before you can even fully register the situation you are in. It feels like your body is creaking when you turn almost robotically to look behind you.
Youâve seen her in countless business articles before. Sheâs one half of the power couple who built one of the most successful companies in the world. Wanda stands in front of you, wearing an elegant navy blazer and a matching long skirt. Crisp black heels make her look even more imposing, if thatâs even possible.
Sheâs even more gorgeous in person.
The heavy door closes slowly behind her. She turns toward you fully, offering a slight tilt of her head and a soft smile. Her sharp green eyes shine against the ambient sunlight, and somehow, the whole room feels instantly brighter.
The distinct shade of her eyes looks almost too familiar. But before you can think further, Wanda starts to speak.
âWell, hello there,â she says lightly, walking directly toward her desk. Her blazer lightly brushes your shoulder as she passes, and the rich scent of summer flowers fills the air.
It feels like youâre in a complete trance as you watch her take a seat in her leather desk chair, which matches the dark shade of the wood. Youâre finally snapped out of it when she rests her elbow on the surface, placing her chin in her palm and tilting her head. She offers you an almost teasing smile.
What are you doing? you chastise yourself internally.
You clear your throat, instantly digging for the assured voice programmed deep within you.
âHi, itâs a pleasure to meet you.â You stand up, extending your hand to offer a firm handshake, exactly like you were taught to do in school.
She stops you with a slight raise of her hand before you are even halfway out of your seat, her smile remaining entirely unchanged. âNo need for that. Please, sit comfortably.â
Biting the inside of your mouth, you sink back down into the soft leather. Your outstretched hand finds its way to your left side, nervously smoothing over the slight wrinkles that still remain on your shirt. This is absolutely nothing like the clinical mock interviews you practiced in class.
Wanda glances down at one of the papers resting on her desk before her sharp green eyes lock onto yours once again.
âSo,â she begins, her tone smooth and entirely unbothered. âYouâre not qualified for this internship.â
You freeze.
Then whyâ
âThen why are you here?â she asks, sounding almost amused as she cuts right through your internal panic. âWell,â she muses, looking up toward the skylight in thought. She meets your eyes once again. âI like to look at the whole picture.â
âIâŚâ you start, your voice noticeably wavering.
Stop it, you fight with yourself internally, forcing your posture rigidly upright.
âI know Iâm not qualified,â you state clearly, the rehearsed confidence taking over. âBut I can adapt quickly. I know how to read financial models. Iâm proficient in Excel. I know how to do market research.â
You pause when her expression morphs from an amused smirk into a softer, quieter smile. Itâs an expression that completely cuts through your ramble.
âI know. You did extremely well in your interview with Mark,â she says slowly. âPerfect, even.â
You breathe out a quiet sigh of relief at that, but your mind is still swirling.
Then why am I here? you wonder again.
Wanda glances down to where your hand still rests over the wrinkled fabric of your shirt. You widen your palm to cover the creases entirely, hoping she doesnât see how disheveled you feel.
The corner of her lip pulls upward. Her gaze doesnât move from your hand.
âTell me about yourself.â Her tone is completely relaxed, but it doesnât stop the sudden spike in your pulse.
You take a slow breath in before beginning. âIâm currently a junior in university, majoring in finance. I do well in my classes. I balance going to school and working part-time jobs. I learn quickly, and I know I can adapt to working here,â you finish in a poised tone.
âI see,â she says, sounding almost lost in thought. Her gaze shifts, tracking up to focus directly on your bottom lip. You desperately hope itâs healed by now. âWhat are your greatest strengths?â
The raw truth from last night echoes bitterly in your head: I can manage to function on four hours of sleep.
Instead, you let the script speak for you. âI take instruction well and turn that into results.â
âMhm.â She nods as if she was expecting that exact response. Finally, she looks up to meet your eyes again. âAnd your greatest weaknesses?â
So many.
âSometimes I get too focused on what Iâm doing and donât see whatâs around me,â you respond, offering an almost self-deprecating smile.
âAnd do you balance going to school and working well?â
You move your gaze downward, staring at the scattered papers on her desk. âYes,â you say quietly, the smile on your lips wobbling slightly at the edges.
The silence in the air hangs incredibly heavy. You force your eyes upward at the total lack of a response. It feels like sheâs staring right past you. As if sheâs reading your mind.
âWhat are your hobbies?â
Your mind blanks. What does this have to do with anything?
Your mouth opens, but instead of a quick, tailored answer, your breath comes out erratically. You grip your side tightly, the fabric of your shirt wrinkling further beneath your fingers, but you canât stop yourself. Maybe itâs the accumulated stress of the interview. The extra shot of caffeine earlier. Seeing Matt. The lost wages from cutting your shift short. The womanâs loud, angry voice on the bus. The months of surviving on four to five hours of sleep. Your stomach twisting painfully in on itself from the complete emptiness.
It feels like you can no longer quell the overwhelming waves of anxiety that you are usually so good at hiding from others.
Because what are your hobbies? Why canât you think of a single thing?
Your face twitches in sudden pain. You unclench your jaw, realizing your teeth have bitten right through the muscle of your cheek. Blood spreads over your tongue. You barely register the metallic taste.
This is a question you should be able to answer easily.
It feels like the office walls are closing in, the sunlight that had been so bright dimming slowly.
You barely process the sound of a drawer opening.
The remaining light in your vision dims entirely as a shadow encompasses you. A warm hand envelopes your own, the heat of her palm pressing over the fingers you have clutching so tightly against your shirt. You tilt your head up slightly, your vision clearing just enough to see Wanda standing directly in front of you, her red hair curtained softly around her face. Her eyes look almost apologetic as she gently uncurls your stiff fingers from the wrinkled fabric.
The faint sound of plastic crinkling fills the quiet air as she places something small into your palm that she is holding open. You look down blankly to find a small fruit snack packet resting on your palm.
The exact kind you used to eat when you were a kid. A time before there were expectations.
She wraps your fingers gently around the packet, the pointed corners of the plastic digging slightly into your skin.
âIâm sorry, darling,â she murmurs, her tone genuinely apologetic. Thereâs a faint accent in her voice that you canât quite put your finger on. âThat was a mean question.â
You shake your head slightly. Youâre the one whoâs overreacting to a simple icebreaker.
She grips your hand lightly, her thumb rubbing over your knuckles with an expression that looks almost disapproving. âLetâs take a break.â She releases your hand, stepping back just a fraction. âEat the fruit snack. It always makes me feel better.â She gives you a soft, reassuring smile.
Now that her warmth isnât anchoring you, the tremor in your hands is completely noticeable. You bring your other hand up to the corner of the plastic, trying to tear it, but your fingers refuse to cooperate.
Why are you failing at absolutely everything today?
The packet is gently removed from your hand before you can spiral any further. You glance up to find Wanda opening it for you, widening the plastic seam to make it easier for your fingers to reach inside. She hands it back to you with a reassuring smile.
âThere we go,â she says softly. âThese are always hard to open.â
You reach inside, pinching a grape-shaped gummy between your thumb and index finger before popping it into your mouth. You chew slowly, letting the soft elasticity ground you against the spinning room, though the candy remains completely flavorless on your tongue.
Wanda crouches down directly in front of you, resting her elbow on her knee and looking up at your face with a gentle smile. You quickly reach back into the plastic packet for another piece to avoid her locked gazeâan orange one this time. With every chew and swallow you manage, Wanda gives an almost imperceptible nod of approval.
By the time you reach the very last gummy, a strawberry, you can finally taste the sweet, fruity flavor. Itâs heavily mixed with a sharp, lingering metallic taste. The throbbing pain in your inner cheek grows with every remaining bite, and the fingers you used to grip your shirt earlier ache intensely from how tightly you held them. The only sound in the office is the steady, quiet rhythm of your own breathing alongside Wandaâs.
You can see the sunlight in the room clearly again. But it also shines a harsh light on how you just behaved.
You quickly place the empty wrapper on your skirt before reaching to smooth down the left side of your shirt. Harsh lines from where it was in your clutches refuse to flatten completely, even as you run your hand down the fabric repeatedly. You let out a breath of frustration.
Giving up, you run your fingers through your hair, trying to find some semblance of the image you are meant to portray. You sit up rigidly once again, squaring your shoulders. Finally, you steal a glance at Wanda, who is still crouched in front of you.
She looks troubled as she watches you. Her eyebrows are furrowed, and her lips are set in a faint frown.
It's your fault.
You clear your throat. It feels like you haven't spoken in hours, even though you know itâs only been minutes.
âLetâs continue.â The confident edge in your voice is marred by a weak rasp that you try desperately to ignore.
Wanda gives you a long, unreadable stare before rising. Itâs almost impressive that she was able to crouch like that in high heels.
âOkay,â she whispers, almost to herself. âLetâs continue.â
She walks around her desk before sitting back down, leaning back in her chair and observing you closely. âWhy do you want to work at our company?â
You close your eyes briefly before opening them, keeping the heavy, panicked emotions at bay behind the fractured glass wall that is now messily covered in tape.
âI want to work at this company becauseâŚâ
â
The remainder of the interview goes exactly as planned. There are no more curveball questions. Every prompt is strictly about the job or the firm. The questions are standard. Easy to answer.
But you know you aren't going to be offered the position. You won't get it because instead of the pristine image you were trained to portray, you had accidentally been yourself.
Youâre left with Wandaâs final words before exiting her office.
âWeâll call you if you get the position.â
If you had done well, you feel like they wouldâve given it to you right then. Or at least, Wanda wouldnât have sounded so deeply conflicted.
At least you got to meet her, you think, desperately trying to find a single silver lining. You could only hope to carry yourself with the elegance and poise that she did.
A cold breeze hits the bare skin of your legs, snapping you back to reality. You look up, realizing you are standing on campus, and open the heavy door to the building of your first class.
You let out a slow sigh as you enter the crowded lecture room. Youâll have to repeat this entire exhausting cycle again next term.
â
You feel completely hollow as you step out of the restaurant breakroom, tying your apron tightly around your waist. Today has felt like twenty-five hours. And every single one of those hours was designed solely to drain you of what little energy you had left.
Angie appears right in front of you. You almost want to turn on your heel and walk away, because right now, your raw emotions canât handle anyone being genuinely nice to you. But you can never ignore Angieânot when sheâs been so good to you.
âSweetie!â she calls out excitedly. âThere was a last-minute reservation, and they specifically requested to sit in whatever section youâre assigned to.â
Maybe itâs one of the regular customers I had a longer conversation with, you think, trying to match her energy.
You nod at her, forcing an easy smile onto your face at her excitement.
âGet out there,â she says brightly, grabbing your shoulders and steering you directly toward the dining room doors. âI have you in section five. Theyâre already here, waiting for you.â She gives you a playful push forward.
You walk to the service bar and wash your hands thoroughly before turning around. Scanning the dimly lit dining room, you notice itâs hardly full yet. Most of the standard reservations won't arrive for another ten minutes. You take measured steps toward your section, mentally preparing to muster up a bright, welcoming smile.
Maybe the fruit snack actually helped. Your head isnât pounding nearly as violently as it did before the interview.
You reach the corner booth where the ambient lighting is the dimmest. You are just about to greet the couple in front of you when you catch a terrifyingly familiar voice.
âTold you, Nat.â Wanda is leaning exceptionally close to her companion, whispering into her ear as if sharing a private secret.
The image is too familiar. The memory of those vibrant green eyes from a week ago flashes violently through your mind.
Nat? you think, your thoughts instantly racing.
Natasha Romanoff. The other half of the power couple. The CEO of Romanoff-Maximoff Global.
You meet her sharp eyes, which are already watching your approach closely.
âYes, moya lyubov, you were right,â Natasha says, her gaze never wavering from your face.
You turn your head as Wanda sits upright. You desperately want to find somewhere to hideâanywhere no one will ever find youâafter coming face-to-face with the exact person who just witnessed you at your absolute worst.
âCan I get the wine list, darling?â Wanda asks, offering you a bright smile.
The slight wrinkle of her nose as she smiles at you makes you pause, forcing yourself to finally get it together.
âOf course,â you respond politely, already turning on your heel to escape this deeply awkward situation.
âAnd darling?â Wanda calls out after you.
You turn back around, forcing a grimace that you desperately hope passes for a polite smile.
âWeâll see you at the office on Monday.â
â
A/N: I really wanted the first interaction to be with Natasha because I've never written for Wanda before and wanted to stall it as long as possible đ but even though this is fiction, I couldn't rationalize why the CEO would be interviewing a possible intern. The CFO interviewing was already a stretch. Hopefully I wrote Wanda okay! Feedback is always appreciated đĽ°
Also, thank you guys again for the feedback and interest on the first chapter đ it made writing the second chapter fun and something I looked forward to.
To the person in asks saying i love AO3 more for posting this chapter there hours earlier: NOT TRUE. i forgot i had a prior engagement when i was making this draft đ
Summary: For two years, youâve been working two jobs just to afford rent and tuition after leaving home at eighteen. Finally, after surviving community college, youâre a junior in university. But with a mandatory internship required to graduate, you stumble into the corporate world of Romanoff-Maximoff Global, where youâre determined to keep your head down and struggle on your own, just as you have become accustomed to. How will Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff teach you how to choose yourself?Â
Warnings/Tags: Financial struggles, past emotional/psychological abuse, slow burn, high-functioning anxiety, religious trauma, corporate/university setting, unsafe living environment, hurt/comfort, likely eventual smut, dom/sub? (still debating)
Chapters:
What is Success?
Fruit Snack (probably posting on Saturday)
AO3 for those find it easier to read there.
A/N: thank you to the readers who gave feedback on the first chapter. it gave me the push to commit to this series đĽ°
i've put watching endgame on hold mid-movie because i didnt want to watch natashie d!e and now i've just finished phase 3 of the MCU!!! wandavision is next!! oh my gosh i'm gonna see my witches again soon <3
Overall Summary: For two years, you've been working two jobs just to afford rent and tuition after leaving home at eighteen. Finally, after surviving community college, you're a junior in university. But with a mandatory internship required to graduate, you stumble into the corporate world of Romanoff-Maximoff Global, where youâre determined to keep your head down and struggle on your own, just as you have become accustomed to. How will Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff teach you how to choose yourself?Â
Word Count (For this Chapter): 7k
Warnings (For this Chapter): Financial struggles, dash of religious trauma, mentions of a past relationship, dash of an ED, past emotional abuse, unsafe living environment
A/N: as you can probably tell by the warnings, this isn't like the usual fluffy one-shots that I post. Sorry! I don't delve very deep into the warnings mentioned in this chapter, but just so you're aware. You can also read this on AO3 if it's easier. Link in Masterlist.
â
You open your eyes to the muffled sound of your phone alarm, hidden beneath the blankets. Rummaging through the sheets, you kill the sound before it wakes your roommates. Itâs 4 a.m. You stare up at the ceiling. In the faint glare of the streetlight cutting through the curtains, you can barely make out the texture of the plaster. It feels like you only slept for a few minutes. It was dark when you fell asleep. Itâs still dark now.
Exhaustion weighs you down, pinning you to the mattress. The only sound is your own breathâeven, but resigned. Twenty-five minutes to get ready. A fifteen-minute bus ride. A ten-minute walk to the coffee shop. That leaves ten minutes to spare before your shift.
You turn your head and reach out. Cold air hits your forearm, raising goosebumps. You want to pull back into the warm safety of the sheets, but you keep moving.
Life wonât stop for a few more minutes of comfort.
Your fingertips find the notebook on your desk. Feeling the cover, you trace the indents where your pen pressed hard against the paper. The grooves grow shallower until they vanish completely. That must have been around midnight, when you grew too tired to write.
Today feels impossible. But youâve felt that way for the past two years, and youâre still here.
With a heavy sigh, you push off the desk and the hard mattress to force yourself upright. The chill bites at your bare neck. Someone forgot to turn on the heat. The house is eerily quiet without the familiar rattle of the vents. You swing your legs out of bed, your feet hit the icy floorboards before sliding into your slippers. It feels like your body is creaking with every step. You unlock your door and step into the hall.
The hum of the refrigerator greets you. Across the hallway, a sliver of light glows under your roommate's door. Still awake. You step quietly into the shared bathroom, gingerly closing the door before flicking on the light.
The mirror doesn't lie. You look tired. The bags under your eyes are puffy. Your shoulders droop. Your lips rest in a flat, neutral line, lacking the energy to pull upward or down. You look away, focusing on your designated shelf of toiletries. Itâs becoming harder to look at yourself. Itâs not just the four hours of sleep. Itâs not the coffee shop shift, followed by classes, followed by the restaurant shift. Itâs not the homework waiting for you tonight, or the fact that you have to do it all again tomorrow.
Itâs a soul-deep tiredness. A day off wonât fix it.
You chose this, you remind yourself, forced to look back at the glass. Choosing to struggle was your decision. The first real decision you ever made for yourself.
You brush your teeth and wash your face, praying the routine wakes you up. While applying moisturizer, you force your lips into a smile. You practice it over and over, tailoring it for a future customer because you canât bear to actually smile at yourself. You turn to leave, but your reflection catches your hair.
Disarray.
You grab your brush, meticulously forcing every misplaced strand into place. It has to be perfect.
âWhen you go out looking like that, youâre embarrassing me and yourself.â
Your motherâs voice echoes in the quiet bathroom. It shouldnât bother you anymore. You left. But the words stayed behind, hiding in your head, waiting to strike whenever your shirt is wrinkled, or a blemish appears on your cheek, or your posture begins to slouch.
You step out into the hall once youâre satisfiedâor at least as satisfied as you can be.
Back in your room, you flick on the light. Youâre still not used to this space, but you forgive yourself since itâs only been three months. It could be worse. The room holds just enough space for your single bed, a wooden desk, a chair, and a small cabinet for your clothes. Itâs a far cry from your room back home.
Home. You shake your head. This is your home now. Your parents' house belongs to them. It was never truly yours.
You reach for the clothes you set out last night, folded neatly at the edge of the mattress. A simple black long-sleeve shirt and a pair of jeans. You slip them on, looking down. The denim hangs looser than before.
Did you forget to eat again yesterday? It would explain why you feel especially hollow today.
You step into your sneakers and lace them up. Your hands shake almost imperceptibly. Itâs such a common sight by now that you don't even care. You slide the notebook into your backpack, sling it over your shoulder, and grab your phone.
Stepping into the hall, you pull the door shut and lock it with your key. Your housemates seem like good people, but good people have disappointed you before. Plus, with ten other people sharing the house, you arenât taking chances.
The floorboards creak beneath your sneakers. You take measured steps, trying not to break the silence. Pulling the heavy front door open, you step outside, and listen for the click of the automatic lock behind you.
You check the time. The bus should arrive the moment you hit the corner. The late autumn chill bites at your skin, shocking some of the exhaustion out of your system. You blink rapidly, forcing yourself awake.
The bus arrives promptly. Only two other passengers are aboardâfaces youâve started to recognize. Taking your usual seat near the front, you rest your backpack on your lap and lean your head back. You watch the streetlights pass in a blur, bracing yourself for the first challenge of the day.
â
The streets are still quiet as you walk the ten minutes to the coffee shop, where warm lights greet you against the backdrop of darkness. You greet your two coworkers warmly, falling into the familiar chatter and complaints about how tired you all are.
Gathering your hair, you pull it into a ponytail. You check the tie meticulously, ensuring no stray strands hang loose. You comb your fingers through the ends before smoothing a hand down the front of your shirt and grabbing your apron off the coat hooks.
Glancing up, you find your coworkers watching you with mild amusement.
âYouâre always so careful about your appearance," one of them says. "Girl, youâre pretty, donât stress so much.â
It would stress me more if I weren't careful, you think.
âI have to make sure I look good. Itâs not for me, Iâm doing it for you two,â you say with a practiced laugh. âGotta maximize the tips.â
They laugh along with you as you head toward the front counters where opening tasks await. Your smile slowly fades the moment they look away. As they talk about recent pop culture events, you just nod whenever they look to you for an opinion.
â
Youâre three coffees in by the time the morning rush ends. Your brain is running on caffeine, adrenaline, and the pure need to survive. The three of you lean against the back counters with exaggerated exhaustion.
You only have fifteen minutes left of your shift. The rush to your classes is always tight, but youâve been making it work.
A phone chimes. One of your coworkers pulls it out, checking the screen. âUgh,â they groan. âLuke just said heâs going to be an hour late for his shift.â
Cold panic pricks at your chest. Luke is your replacement.
Both of them turn to you, expectation heavy in their eyes. âCan you please stay until he gets here?â
You canât. The gap between your shift and your first lecture is already cutting it close. Staying forty-five minutes past your time means accepting that you will walk into the lecture room in the middle of the class. It means everyone turning to look at you.
âYeah, of course,â you respond, the words leaving your mouth before you can even think to stop them.
They cheer beside you, patting your back. You smile along with them as if itâs no sweat.
Internally, you fight to breathe. You ignore the way your heart rate spikes, your breath turning quick and shallow. The sheer physical strength required to keep the fake smile on your face grows heavier by the second.
This feeling has been happening more often lately. It hits whenever you think about pending assignments, your rent, your tuition, or even what youâre going to eat.
But it isnât anxiety. It canât be.
Your parents always told you anxiety was impossibleâa made-up excuse. They said you just needed to be mentally stronger. Your ex-boyfriend had said the exact same thing. You just need to get over it.
He had told you to ignore most of the problems you confided in him with, and back then, you listened. He was the last real relationship you had been in, and his words still carried a heavy weight you were desperately working to outrun.
He was also the last relationship you had before you finally realized that romance wasnât strictly exclusive to a man and a womanâno matter how deeply your parents had convinced you of it your entire life.
Yet, somehow, a part of you still believed them despite everything. You still worry your own mental fortitude is the real problem.
So, you ignore it. You ignore it even when your hands shake as you pour a latte. You ignore it when your voice wavers against the violent drumming of your pulse in your throat. You ignore it because you have no other choice. You have to continue.
â
It feels like ages before Luke finally arrives with an apologetic smile. You assure him itâs fine, grab your backpack from the breakroom, and bid your coworkers goodbye.
A frantic sprint pays off. You hit the curb just as the bus pulls up.
Boarding, you tap your foot anxiously against the floor. You pull your hair loose, shaking it out and combing your fingers through the strands to recreate the perfection from hours ago. Itâs a clumsy, difficult task. Your hands still refuse to listen to orders. You won't have time to change clothes in the campus bathroom today. The scent of espresso and steamed milk will follow you until your restaurant shift tonight.
For a split second, you consider skipping. No. You shake your head, disgusted by the thought. You havenât taken shortcuts yet. You didn't work countless grueling hours to pay for tuition for this term just to skip. You have to succeed.
Though lately, the definition of success has begun to waver. What does it even mean anymore? Getting the degree? Landing a job? Getting married?
The bus brakes at the university. Pushing up from your seat, you sling your backpack over one shoulder, thank the driver with a warm smile, and sprint toward your lecture hall.
You ease the heavy door open, praying none of the hundred students notice you. A few heads turn briefly before pivoting back to the board. You slip into a seat in the very back row, closest to the exit. Dropping your bag, you pull out your notebook.
Look up toward the projector screen, your eyes lock with the professor's instead. He glares at you with a heavy, disapproving expression before looking away. You bite the inside of your cheek, hard, and pick up your pen.
The sound of quiet whispers and light giggles drifts up from the row below. A small group of students are conversing with bowed heads, trying to hide bright, genuine smiles.
Itâs been a long time since you actually enjoyed school. A long time since you werenât just going through the motions.
Watching one of the students clap their friend on the shoulder, a sudden flood of memory hits you. The sterile hallways of your old high school flash in your mind. Two familiar people stand on either side of you.
Yelena and Kate.
Kate has her arm slung over your shoulder, leaning in close to whisper a joke about Yelena, knowing full well she can hear her. Yelena flicks Kateâs forehead in retaliation, and the three of you burst into laughter.
Your second year of high school feels like another lifetime. The memories with the two of them are like a dream. You would be lying if you said you didnât think about them. You miss Kate tripping over her own shoes, and Yelena making sure she never lived it down for the rest of the day. You miss being in the middle of it all, pulling Kate off the floor and telling Yelena to play nice, only to secretly laugh about it with her later.
You smile wryly despite yourself, the professor's voice fading into background static as you drift deeper into your own mind. Every single memory with the two of them was happy.
Except one.
On the day the three of you graduated, the air was full of laughter and flying caps. You hugged them tightly as they chattered endlessly about the future. Kate had paused, turning to look at you, asking why you hadnât been chiming in.
Behind your practiced smile, you were suffocating.
They didnât know your parents hadnât shown up to watch you cross the stage. They didnât know you had left your house key sitting on the empty kitchen table that morning. They didn't know every single thing you owned was packed into the trunk of your carâthe same car you were scheduled to sell tomorrow just to afford the deposit and first month's rent on a cramped apartment.
They didn't know you werenât going to university with them.
It was always assumed the three of you would go to the same university. You were supposed to survive the crowded dorms for the first two years, then find an apartment together for the remaining two. That was the original plan.
But things changed. Or maybe they didnât. Maybe it was always going to end up exactly like this.
Instead of telling them the truth, you told Kate you were just tired from staying up late from excitement. You hid your hands inside the long sleeves of your graduation gownâconcealing the white bandages where rough cardboard boxes had dried and cracked your skin during the midnight move.
How could you tell them it felt like you were falling apart? Not when they were smiling so happily. Not when you knew exactly what they would do if they found out. They would offer to help financially.
But you were the one who made the decision to leave home. You chose to forfeit your parents' financial support. You made the decision to go to community college because it was more affordable. You made the choice to struggle, and you had to live with it.
Accepting their help would make the sacrifice meaningless. Letting them worry, letting them give you an easy way out, would only make you waver. And you couldn't afford to waver.
The sound of students rising from their chairs breaks you out of your memories. A few give you small smiles as they pass.
Other students had tried to talk to you over the past few weeks, tried to build a friendship, but it always felt impossible. You were good at the polite smiles, the fake laughter, blending into conversations with effortless ease. But you never felt that same deep familiarity and comfort you had shared with Yelena and Kate. Friendships after them had only disappointed you, leaving quiet scars that still stung to this day.
Instead of lingering for small talk, you gather your things and walk toward the crowded food hall. You scan the racks of snacks, eventually picking up two granola bars that happen to be on a promotional deal.
A burst of bright laughter and a fiercely familiar accent make you freeze mid-breath.
In your peripheral vision, you catch a flash of brown hair and blonde hair walking shoulder-to-shoulder. You whip your head around, your eyes desperately scanning the space, but the image vanishes. There are only a dozen unfamiliar strangers moving past in a dense crowd.
â
You are finally called into your advisor appointment after sitting in the waiting area far past the scheduled time. The finance department feels almost sterile, defined by grey, windowless walls and a total lack of decor.
You walk through the door of the office, where youâre greeted with a professional smile.
âGood afternoon, take a seat,â Mrs. Stewart says warmly. âHow was class today?â
I barely heard a single word, you think, already dreading the hours youâll have to spend reviewing the lecture slides later tonight.
âIt was good,â you respond, offering a perfectly tailored, polite smile.
âWonderful,â she says, pulling up your academic record on her monitor. âYou did exceptionally well during your time in community college, so I knew you wouldnât have too much trouble adjusting here.â
You nod along as she squints at the glowing screen.
âSince youâre officially a junior, I think you should start considering your capstone internship," Mrs. Stewart says, pulling up your academic record.
"As a finance major, it's a mandatory graduation requirement," she explains, leaning back in her chair. "You'll need to secure a position within the financial sector and complete a full term of field experience and complete assignments pertaining to it before you can receive your degree. It basically bridges your university classes with the professional world."
A mandatory internship.
To Mrs. Stewart, it's a standard academic milestone. To you, it sounds like an execution sentence. That means a massive chunk of your week will be consumed by a rigid scheduleâtime you desperately need for the jobs that actually pay your rent.
Her tone shifts, dropping into something quieter, almost conspiratorial. âHonestly, the job market isnât at its best right now, so it might be a bit of a challenge. But keep your chin up. Knowing you and your work ethic, youâll find something.â
Somehow, that blind faith makes you feel infinitely worse.
âThank you, Iâll look into the listings tonight,â you say, forcing another flawless smile to your lips while your stomach bottoms out.
â
What are you going to do?
You sit with your head buried in your hands, your elbows resting heavily on the desk in front of you as the professor drones on in the background. Youâve already accepted that you'll have to double the work tonight just to review what you missed during your first class and now this one.
But the lectures aren't the real problem. This mandatory internship is going to be the end of you.
You had hoped to push it off until your final year, but realistically, Mrs. Stewart was right. Itâs better to complete it now, before the advanced courses demand your absolute, undivided attention. The real crisis is the math. While a quick search shows plenty of available internships, the vast majority are unpaid. At least, the ones open to students without prior relevant experience are.
You can't use your familyâs connections. That was never an option. But how are you supposed to find a paying role when every listing requires a relevant background? Youâve spent the last two years grinding in customer service just to stay afloat. You can't exactly drop everything and take on a full-term, unpaid role just to check a box for the university.
But then, you canât graduate.
You groan internally, tilting your head back to stare blankly at the ceiling tiles. Frustration tightens like a vice in your chest. You drop your head back down, focusing on the scuffed wooden desk, and force a slow breath out through your nose. The panic dissipates slightly with every exhale.
Itâs okay. Youâve made it work so far, and this will be no different. At least, thatâs the lie you use to convince yourself.
There is a lingering, heavy static in your chest that refuses to leave, no matter how steadily you breathe.
Peeling back the plastic wrapper of a granola bar, you take a small bite. You chew slowly, trying to savor it, even though your tongue can barely register the taste. Pulling out your phone, you check your shift schedule for the restaurant.
The moment this lecture ends, you will have to sprint back to the house, change out of your coffee-stained clothes, and step into your second uniform. A crisp white collared shirt and clean black slacks.
Youâll have to go through the exhausting task of looking perfect. Even though internally, you know itâs an impossible task that youâll always continue to deplete yourself doing.
â
You step onto the sidewalk right in front of the house. In the daylight, the full reality of the place is clear. Maybe it would be better if it stayed in the dark.
The wood exterior looks completely worn down, splintered and rotting in some areas. The front porch features two raggedy couches on either side of the entrance, where your roommates typically congregate to smoke cigarettes and weed. Your very first thought upon seeing the house months ago was, âThis is definitely a crackhouse.â
To the right, you can see your bedroom window. You had gotten somewhat luckyâliving on the middle floor with one of the larger spaces. Though, that isnât saying much.
You keep your curtains tightly drawn most of the time. You had learned your lesson early on while studying one afternoon. You had left the blinds open to let in the natural light, only to look up and find a homeless man staring straight at you from the sidewalk. The curtains hadn't been opened since.
You punch the code into the keypad, listening for the lock to release before pushing the heavy frame forward. The floorboards creak beneath your sneakers. Glancing to your left into the common room, you're relieved to find it completely empty. From the central staircase, the muffled echo of an upstairs roommate showering rains down through the ceiling.
The kitchen door leading to the basement is slightly ajar. You know this without even looking, signaled by the violent shouting echoing up from the couple living downstairs. It had terrified you during your first week, but now, their screaming matches are almost expected.
Pulling your bedroom key out of your pocket, you unlock the door and push it open. Your unmade bed awaits you. You drop your backpack next to your desk chair and quickly peel off your clothes. Even though you are just heading to another shift, getting the coffee-scented fabric off your skin is an instant relief.
You mist a light body spray over your torso before pulling on your restaurant attire. You carefully smooth down the crisp white shirt. Lacking a proper closet, you had hung it meticulously over what you believe used to be an old metal candle holder on the wall.
Gathering your hair, you tie it into a high ponytail with the elastic on your wrist. It feels like an exhausting echo of this morning, save for the change in uniform.
After sliding your wallet into your pocket, you pat the fabric of your black slacks to ensure you have everything, then exit your room and lock the door behind you. You reach for the front door handle but freeze. Turning on your heel, you step into the middle-floor bathroom instead.
You smooth your hair down in the glass, sweeping the front strands to the side so they wonât obscure your vision. You secure them tightly with a bobby pin, ensuring nothing can move.
Perfect.
Satisfied, you slip out the front door and walk quickly toward the bus stop.
â
The ambience of the restaurant is always a bit romantic. The lights are dimmed low, classical music plays quietly in the background, and fresh flowers center every table. Itâs a higher-end establishment located just off campusâa favorite spot for local couples celebrating date nights and special occasions.
Youâre greeted by your manager, Angie, the moment you step out of the breakroom.
âHey, honey. Raring to go?â she asks, offering a warm smile.
Angie is always bright and charming. Save for the first time you met her.
Itâs a total 180 from the initial encounter with the middle-aged woman. Months ago, when you had first visited the university town to secure housing, you had stumbled upon this very dining room after a Help Wanted sign caught your eye. She had interviewed you on the spot, watching you closely with a sharp, skeptical eye.
When you honestly admitted you had absolutely no fine-dining experience, she had leaned in close, giving you a long, hard stare. The silence between you felt thick enough to choke on. You were already mentally planning which streets youâd walk down next to find a different job when she suddenly leaned back, a smirk pulling at her lips. She told you to meet her here the following week for onboarding.
When you confessed you hadn't even found a place to live yet, Angie was the one who told you about a vacancy at a shared house nearby. Because of her, you were moved in within five days.
You would never tell her outright, but she had saved you that day. You had been feeling entirely helpless, staring down listings for housing that were far past anything you could afford. Sheâd tease you endlessly if you ever confessed all this to her. But you have a feeling she already knows, especially when she gives you her signature side-glance and a half-smirk.
âAlways,â you respond, mirroring her smile.
She clasps her hand over your shoulder with a reassuring squeeze as you tie your apron around your waist. She pauses for a beat, pressing the pads of her fingers carefully against your shoulder and the prominent ridge of your collarbone.
Sensing the unspoken observation, you quickly fall back into your routine, smoothing your hands over your clothes and combing your fingers through the ends of your ponytail. Angie sighs quietly, releasing your shoulder only to reach up and gently brush a stray hair out of your eyes.
âKnock 'em dead, sweetie,â she says, her voice playful but filled with an overwhelming warmth.
You give her your first real smile of the day, your eyes crinkling at the corners. âTheyâd call the cops on us if I did that.â
She rolls her eyes. âOkay, smartie. Knock âem alive.â
âYeah, because that sounds normal.â
She playfully pushes you toward the swinging kitchen doors. âI canât deal with you,â she says, trying and failing to hold back a laugh. âYouâre in section three. Shoo.â
You quickly wash your hands at the service bar, greeting the bartender and the floor staff. Turning around, you survey the dining room as it slowly begins to fill.
The host catches your eye, nodding to let you know the first reservation for your section has arrived. You step forward, ready to greet them, when the wooden panels of the dining room wall suddenly warp and lean sideways.
Your step falters. You blink rapidly, forcing the violent wave of lightheadedness back down.
Maybe I shouldâve eaten the second granola bar instead of rationing it, you think, steadying yourself. But you dismiss the thought just as quickly. Youâve gone through much worse periods of food scarcity than this. You'll get through tonight just fine.
Thankfully, the universe is kind to your section. Your first reservation is a couple celebrating their twentieth wedding anniversary. Despite the static in your head, you go all out for themâbringing special decorative accents to their table and arranging a complimentary dessert with a message wishing them a happy anniversary meticulously piped in chocolate.
Most of your guests tonight are here for date nights. Watching their warm smiles across the crisp white linen and their clasped hands over the candlelight always brings your mood up, casting a faint glow over your own exhaustion.
Soft chatter fills the dining room. Scanning the floor, you check for any tables needing water refills or another round of drinks. You spot a booth to your far left with empty wine glasses and step forward to refill them with the open bottle resting between them. Youâre almost halfway there when your vision suddenly blurs, the edges darkening as the room begins to fade. The ambient classical music cuts out, replaced by a sharp, piercing shrill frequency ringing in your ears.
Your feet tangle beneath you. Stumbling hard, you manage to steady yourself without too much commotion. You pause, blinking rapidly until your vision clears, desperately praying no one noticed. Gratefully, the surrounding tables continue to chat, completely lost in their own private worlds. You scan the room one more time just to be absolutely sure you're safe.
Thatâs when you catch two pairs of sharp green eyes watching you intently from the shadows. They are seated far in the back corner of the dining room. The low, romantic lighting makes it impossible to make out any of their other features, but their locked gaze stays fixed on you as you force your legs to move forward. You swallow past the lump in your throat, tear your eyes away, and focus on refilling the wine glasses at your designated table. You can still feel the weight of their stare burning into your back, but you push it to the back of your mind. You have a job to finish.
The table converses with you about their day. While you genuinely try to absorb every single detail, it is a losing battle when it takes your entire universe of effort just to stay upright. Still, you finish the interaction with a reliable go-to joke that always makes couples laugh, departing the booth with warm chuckles trailing behind you.
You risk a glance back at the table in the far corner.
They are still watching you. Through the dim light, you can barely make out the silhouette of one woman leaning toward the other, whispering something directly into her ear.
Cold dread twists in your stomach. Maybe they're making fun of you for almost eating it.
You quickly walk back toward the service bar, your cheeks burning hot at the humiliating possibility.
â
The remaining hours pass by in a blur. You donât let your eyes drift back toward that far corner table for the rest of the night, keeping your focus solely on your section.
Before you know it, the dinner rush is over. You're wiping down tables and folding linens alongside the rest of the floor staff, trading stories about high-maintenance customers. One of the hosts chimes in about a table that sent their cocktails back twice, only to declare the third round absolutely perfectâeven though the bartender had made it the exact same way every time.
Itâs in quiet moments like this, sharing tired laughs in the dim dining room, when you actually feel like a normal university student.
You are grabbing your phone and wallet from the breakroom lockers when Angie's head peeks past the doorframe. She gives you a sly grin, sliding fully into view with a plastic takeout bag in hand.
She pushes the handles toward you. âOne of the kitchen guys made a mistake on an order earlier. Itâs fettuccine alfredo. Itâd make me feel a lot better if you took it, since itâll just be thrown away otherwise.â
You smooth a hand down the front of your crisp white shirt, biting the inside of your lip. Your stomach is hollow. Youâre definitely hungry. But eating it would mean you'd have to go for a long walk afterward to burn it off.
Angieâs pleading eyes make the decision for you.
âOkay,â you respond softly, securing the loops of the bag in your hand.
Angie smiles gently, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair out of your eyes. She looks at you for a quiet beat with an expression you canât quite decipher, before her face shifts back to her familiar, playful smirk. âThanks for doing me that favor. See you tomorrow night, sweetie.â
She walks away before you even get the chance to respond. Pocketing your belongings, you push through the back exit. The night air hits your cheeks, cool and crisp, and the full weight of the day finally begins to settle into your bones.
The lingering lightheadedness has remained for your entire shiftâit's there even now. But somehow, looking down at the heavy container of pasta, you feel a tiny bit better. You walk toward the bus stop, only noticing halfway there that the box is piping hot against your palm.
â
Itâs late by the time you arrive back in your room. The house is uncharacteristically quiet tonight, with most of your roommates outâsome drinking with friends, others grinding through late night part-time jobs.
You unpack the takeout container, placing it on the wooden desk and quietly thanking Angie for remembering to slip a plastic fork into the bag. You pause. Peeling off your pristine white uniform shirt, you hang it carefully back over the candleholder. You pull the long-sleeve black shirt back on. You already know youâll be forced to go for a long walk the moment you finish this meal, so it doesn't matter if the fabric gets even dirtier.
You pry open the lid of the takeout box. The smell is heavenlyâa perfect mix of rich, savory cream that makes you feel lightheaded all over again, this time from pure anticipation. You dig your fork in, taking slow, measured bites despite the overwhelming hollow hunger in your stomach.
âAre you an animal? Eat slowly. Properly.â
You instantly yank your elbows off the desk at the memory of the voice, sitting up rigidly straight in your chair.
The rich taste of the pasta slowly fades into background static, until you are simply eating for sustenance again. You reach down and pull your laptop out from one of the desk drawers. Youâre wasting too much time.
Booting up the screen, you open a browser window to search for internship opportunities in finance, ensuring the filters are strictly locked so that only paid positions appear. In a separate tab, you pull up your resume. You scan the lines meticulously, confirming that every detail is updated, every heading aligned, and the format completely flawless.
You scroll through the listings between slow bites of pasta. Every single role requires some sort of prior finance experience, exactly as you expected. Refusing to let the dread stop you, you open each listing in a separate tab, pulling up the application portals one by one. Itâs going to take an immense amount of luck, but expanding your net increases your odds.
You meticulously apply for every single open position, uploading your resume and drafting tailored cover letters on the side.
The pasta is long gone, the container cold on your desk, by the time you finally finish the task. Closing the last tab, you lean back heavily in your wooden chair with a long, slow sigh.
Itâs already close to midnight, but you force yourself back onto your feet. Pulling your heavy jacket sleeves over your arms, you turn your back on the room and head toward the front door.
Realistically, you shouldnât be walking outside this late. But the nagging thought of letting the heavy food sit in your stomach compels your legs to move.
You walk to the end of the block, following a line of flickering streetlights that are permanently dimmed by years of grime and residue coating the glass covers. You turn the corner at the end of the pavement, knowing the familiar glow of the corner store awaits you just ahead. It has quickly become a landmark in your new lifeâa place you routinely visit whenever you need a quick, cheap bite to eat to survive the week.
There is just one massive caveat. One of your roommates who lives downstairs, Matt, often works the night shift there.
He calls out a greeting before you can even think about spinning on your heel and walking straight back out. Matt isn't a bad guy by any means, but he has twelve years on you, and his friendliness always feels heavy. Call it a woman's intuition, but the way he routinely knocks on your bedroom door to ask to hang out, or texts you outside the house group chat, points to one undeniable reality.
He likes you. And right now, you don't have the energy to manage his expectations.
You try to duck into one of the narrow aisles to grab a pack of granola bars to hold you over for the next few days, but your escape is cut short when Matt calls out to you.
âHey! Youâre out late,â Matt says, leaning heavily over the checkout counter.
Your lips force themselves into a smile that feels more like a pained grimace, though he doesn't seem to notice the strain.
âYeah, late night. Just grabbing some snacks real quick,â you respond, keeping your voice tight and fast.
He leans even closer, bridging the distance across the counter. âI knocked on your door earlier. You didnât answer.â A sharp flicker of annoyance passes over his easy smile before he smooths it back down.
âI was out. Had work tonight,â you reply lightly, desperately trying to keep the conversation casual.
âI didnât say when I knocked,â he says smoothly. He offers a lazy grin, but his cold eyes tell you something else entirely.
You freeze, locking eyes with his cold stare for a heavy, suffocating second before forcing a breathless chuckle.
âYouâre right, my bad," you say, smoothing the tension over. "I was just out pretty much all day.â
Taking a deliberate step back toward the exit, you tighten your jacket around your chest. âI think Iâm just going to head back. Iâm way more tired than I thought.â
You pivot toward the glass door, but his voice hooks you before you can push it open.
âHey, Iâm sorry," Matt calls out, his tone suddenly softening into something defensive. "Okay? I didnât mean to make you uncomfortable.â
Turning back, you slap your flawlessly practiced smile onto your face one last time today.
âNo worries, Iâm not uncomfortable. Just tired. Iâll see you later.â
You shove the heavy door open and slip out into the midnight air before he can get another syllable out.
You take quick, urgent strides back to the house, cutting your walk short. Ducking inside, you slip into your bedroom and click the lock securely into place. You check the handle twice, tugging against the frame to make sure itâs truly locked.
Patting your pocket, you pull out your phone to check the time. You have just enough time to shower before Matt's shift at the corner store typically ends. Quickly gathering a fresh change of clothes, you slip into the hall and step into the bathroom, desperate to let the steam wash away the crushing pressures of the day and the lingering chill of his stare.
â
You sit on your wooden desk chair, your hair still slightly damp from the shower. The laptop screen glows in front of you, the lecture slides from your first class open and waiting to be reviewed.
Tilting your head back, you stare up at the ceiling. It feels like if you close your eyes for even a single second, you will instantly crash into sleep. Your eyes frantically trace the textures of the plaster as if the physical focus can force you to stay awake just a little longer.
You press your pen into the notebook adjacent to your laptop. You wonder how many minutes of sleep youâll actually get tonight. Forcing your focus forward, your eyes scan the first slide on the screen.
You fix your posture, sitting up rigidly straight, without a second thought.
â
The days pass by quicklyâbut not quickly enough at the same time. You wish the exhaustion would fade with the calendar pages, but it only seems to accrue. Itâs a currency you have no desire to hold.
Coffee shop. Class. Eat a snack if you have the time. Another class. The dinner shift at the restaurant.
Practiced smiles, laughs with no heart, blurring vision, and sudden missteps.
Avoiding conversations. Avoiding Matt. Avoiding the absolute fact that this lifestyle was killing you.
Over and over again.
It has been five days since you sent out that mass wave of applications to countless companies and organizations. You had gotten a few emails back with initial sparks of interestâonly to receive a follow-up a few hours later stating they had misread your file, and that your experience level was ultimately unsatisfactory.
It is one of those rare days where everything actually goes smoothly. People show up for their shifts on time, allowing you to walk into class right as the lecture begins. Frozen pre-made meals happen to be on sale at the store. Your notes are clear and concise for all your courses. The dinner shift passes without a single hitchâexcept for the few times your vision blurs. But it always clears up.
Now, you lie in bed, genuinely happy that youâll be getting at least five hours of sleep tonight. Itâs a quiet luxury you rarely get to experience. The covers are pulled tight around your chin as the headlights of passing cars flash rhythmically against your bedroom walls.
The vent rattles softly, distributing warm air throughout the small room. You close your eyes, feeling a profound wave of gratitude that tonight, you wonât be cold.
â
You open your eyes to the muffled buzz of your phone alarm, hidden beneath the blankets. Rummaging through the sheets, you kill the sound before it can wake your roommates. Itâs 4 a.m. You stare up at the ceiling. In the faint glare of the streetlight cutting through the curtains, you can barely make out the texture of the plaster.
It feels like any other day.
You tap on your phone screen to cast a faint light across the dark room. Your email app displays a singular, glowing red notification.
Tapping the icon, you find a new response waiting in your inbox from one of the final companies on your list.
Please choose an available date for an in-person interview.
â Romanoff-Maximoff Global
â
A/N: Hi readers đ honestly speaking, while I love how this opening turned out, I know that this story is going to be a long haul. Meaning, itâs a big commitment and Iâm kind of stubborn, so if I truly decide to do it, Iâll have to see it through. Also, down the line I'm probably going to have to find a writer to beta read this which kind of stresses me out. So, if you enjoyed it, feedback is appreciated! It might give me the push to commit to this story.
If I do decide to move forward with it, I'll make a separate masterlist sometime.
rare aesthetic: getting overstimulated after getting out of the scarlet witch's spell, wondering what did you get yourself into as you watch your forced coven members you were about to kill for their power half an hour ago try to figure out the new trial, then the kid that got you into this gets hurt and reminds you of your own dead son just so you get the same memo for the 1000th time that it's no use to try to be good because people already casted you into this wicked, unredeemable character so why not start to act the part and save yourself the trouble
