Hey everybody! I haven't posted in a while and you guys are going to see some change to my blog (think zombie apocalypse to surviving after the zombies are rotted type-changes ) I have been in all sorts of programs and hospitals and in treatment for the past year-ish and I am okay. Not like yea-i'm-fucking-okay-now-i'm-going-to-go-cry-for-most-of-the-night but actually OKAY, something legendary and unreachable for me a year ago. I am not a social fucking butterfly, I don't even have a cool come-at-me-bro attitude. I am single (uuggghhhh) and I just moved, so I don't have a ton of friends. But I learned all sorts of juicy-usefull shit in the past year and to thank all of you people who kept me alive through all of my shit, thank you so much. I have a twelve-year old baby sister who is over the fucking moon to have her obnoxious teen sister back, and a fourteen-year-old brother who is so happy that he can tease me without guilt again. YOU saved my life, even if you didn't talk to me, the fact that I was not alone probably saved me. Now it is my turn, I want to help YOU. YES YOU- I don't know how many of the truly amazing people that coached, cajoled and sometimes dragged me through the darkest years of my life have chosen to give up, and I cannot sit by and watch as some of the kindest, wonderfulest, most truly and most wholly beautiful people drop off the map, DON'T GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT. Some of you have been fighting longer than me, or maybe less time, maybe even the same to the day, but please, if you are going through hell, let me try and give you some landmarks. I don't know it backwards and forwards, there is no right way, I am not a goddamn psychiatrist or psychologist or qualified by anything other than wading through a whole lot of shit. I have been abused, by myself as much as atone else, but my scars are fading. Please Please talk to me, this is my way of saying thank you, this is my small way to rebel against the shit that we ALL have to deal with. Whatever you need to do, yell, cry, talk, please know that I am here, listening so hard. We need to fight against depression and everything that causes it, start the rebellion, set yourself free, whatever. One small step guys, thats all it takes to start.
