Thrown in paradise

What have I done & other shit

[throwninparadise]

Coming home

The sea Your mouth The same salt My tears haven't stopped

They flow internally Limitless Where are you My body begs While my minds Wanders the corners Of memories untouched Forgotten and tucked away Hurting even more Seeing you makes it easier The thing that I cannot do Forget it Swallow the hurt, coming home has  lost all meaning

- J.P.

[throwninparadise]

I am afraid he was the best part of me

[inkskinned]

what i’m saying is that recovery isn’t a destination, you’re not either out in the ocean or safe on land, it’s a choice to keep swimming even when you’re sure you’d rather be drowning.

r.i.d (via inkskinned)

god, I needed to read this so much

[throwninparadise]

I miss the ocean, like I miss you every day. It has never been the same without you. And I am afraid it will never be.

J.P. //  A series of excerpts from stories I will never write #12 (throwninparadise)

[throwninparadise]

I sit here in the coffeeshop that was our favourite place to just be. I have been coming here a lot lately, bringing back all these memories. I keep hoping that you will pass by this window. You will see me and come in, take a seat at the table where we first got to know each other. The waitress brings your favourite coffee and you smile, because after all that time I still remember. I smile back, we are beginning again.

J.P. // excerpts from stories I will never write #11 (throwninparadise)

[throwninparadise]

You are good at explaining yourself, but they just won't understand. This kind of thing can only be felt.

J.P. // excerpts from stories I will never write #10 (throwninparadise)

[hplyrikz]

You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place. Like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.

Azar Nafisi, Reading Lolita in Tehran (via hplyrikz)

[throwninparadise]

“I god dammit wanna feel something, anything.” The desperate plea dissolved into the midnight sky. There she was standing, an extraordinary girl, yet she had no clue of that what so ever. She felt further from it then was almost possible.  “I just cannot love Caleb. I am incapable of it, I’m too frightened.” I wish I could show her, the way other people saw her. And that love was never something to be afraid of.

J.P. // excerpt from stories I will never write #9 (via throwninparadise)

[throwninparadise]

She looked at me with her bright green eyes. “I just want you to be happy, that is all I ever wanted.” She stopped for a second, almost debating if she should say her next words. Finally she left out a deep breath and looked at me again. “But I would also like to be that happiness, Ryan!

J.P. // excerpt from stories I will never write #8 (throwninparadise)

[throwninparadise]

She has the gift to create beautiful lines, rearranging words in the most exquisite way. There is a twist though, the words are limited and she always runs out of them too fast.

J.P. // excerpts from stories I will never write #7 (throwninparadise)

[throwninparadise]

I told you I missed you. But what I should have said was how I missed the people we were together. All the times we shared before. I said I missed you, but I should have said I missed the relationship we had. The relationship that is slowly, yet steadily disappearing. That is what I truly miss, a non existing part of us. But tell me, how do I explain that, how do I put that in words. I told you this was forever and now I am afraid that promise is falling apart. I told you I missed you and I guess in some way I truly do.

J.P. // excerpts from stories I will never write #6 (throwninparadise)

[throwninparadise]

The way she looked and talked, the little things she did when she was trying to prove a point. Her hands always going in all directions, she often reminded me of a butterfly conquering the sky. So caught up in her own bubble, no clue of her surroundings. She was always just doing her own thing, but when you got her attention, you had it for the full one hundred percent. She was yours for the time being and you, you had the secret key into that magic bubble. I could look at her endlessly, just living. She was as mesmerising as the night sky, there was always a star that sparked. My favorite part was when she would look up, momentarily back into this world. The biggest smile across her face when she noticed you looking, “What?” She would ask with the most innocent face, while always putting a string of hair behind her ear.

J.P. // Excerpt of stories I will never write #5 (throwninparadise)

[throwninparadise]

"Can I ask you something though?" She continued without waiting for his response. "Why now? What has changed? I am just", she stuttered, "just trying to make sense of it all.” He was still drawing circles on her hand, when he stopped and intensely gazed at her.  “What do you mean why now? Nothing changed Chloe!” There was a small pause. He put his hands on both of her cheeks, while still looking in her mesmerising eyes. "I have always wanted you”

J.P. // Excerpt from stories I will never write #4 (throwninparadise)

[throwninparadise]

I tell our love story to a lot of people lately! I mean, I know there never really was one, but I cannot help it. You left so sudden, so ubrupt. I pretend you are still here, I pretend we are still able to make it. I tell our tale to all who wants to hear and see what they say to me. I always end with a question, always the same “I don’t know if we can be something real?”

J.P. // excerpts from stories I will never write #3 (throwninparadise)

[throwninparadise]

We sit here, our favorite place to be. Talking endlessly and I realise you are the family I never had. The feeling of home lies for some parts in your hands. You hold me in place and help me fly for what I want. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are the best choice I never really made. This is more than just friendship, we are our own little family.

J.P. // excerpts from stories I will never write #2 (throwninparadise)

[throwninparadise]

For the first time as she leaned back, I got a good look of all the freckles making a home on her beautiful face. She had always said that she loved her freckles and how it made her face. I guess I never paid enough attention to notice. But all a sudden, in this moment I saw her in a whole different light. She must have noticed me staring, because next thing I noticed she waved her hand in front of me. "Alright  I cannot handle this anymore, what do I have on my face?" She asked while looking for her mirror. I smiled, "nothing. Or well..." She interrupted me before I could continue, "Damn Caleb, just say it already." She hated it when I didn't answer right away, always so curious and inpatient. "Your freckles", I blurted out. Her fingers immediately reached for her face and lingered over all the freckles, tracing all the different ones. "I see it now, how they enlighten your face. Little stars sparkling when you smile. God, you are so beautiful." I couldn't stop smiling, realizing she was mine.

J.P. // excerpts from stories I will never write #1 (throwninparadise)

[lost-in-gravity]

In that moment I knew, he had me completely, there was no turning back now. He had me, all of me.

J.P. // Excerpt from the short story I am finally writing. (lost-in-gravity)