the evil dead incorrect quotes

this is mostly gonna be ash most other characters die

[theincorrectdead]

Ash: Kelly, I think you should play the role of my father.

Kelly: I don’t want to be your father?

Ash: That’s perfect, you already know your lines!

[theincorrectdead]

Ash, talking to Pablo and Kelly: And until then, we need to do what any animal in nature does when it’s cornered.

Ash: Act erratically and blindly lash out at everything around us.

[throwupgirl-deactivated20240906]

Not to pit 2 queens against each other but…

Ash Williams

Herbert West

Voting ended onJul 25, 2023

[theincorrectdead]

Pablo: So do I give off, like, a cult leader vibe?

Kelly: I didn’t say leader.

[smiledog15578]

KISS YOUR NERVES GOODBYE!!!

[theincorrectdead]

Pablo: I have a bad feeling about this...

Ash: What do you mean?

Pablo: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?

Ash: No?

Kelly: That actually explains so much.

[theincorrectdead]

Ash: Hold on! I’m having one of those things... a headache with pictures.

Kelly: What the fuck?

Pablo: He’s having an idea.

[theincorrectdead]

Ash: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

[theincorrectdead]

Ash: I only have 6 weeks left to live.

Pablo: Oh my god, really?!

Ash: It's just a guesstimate based on the choices I've made.

[theincorrectdead]

Ruby: I'm not doing too well.

Kelly: What's wrong?

Ruby: I have this headache that comes and goes.

*Ash enters the room*

Ruby: There it is again.

[theincorrectdead]

Ash: All we need is a ruse.

Chet: You had me at ‘ruse’.

Ash: That was the last thing I said

Chet: Good thing you said it

[theincorrectdead]

Ruby, pointing to the wall: What color is this?

Kelly: Grey.

Pablo: Grey.

Ruby, turning to Ash: Now tell them what color you think it is.

Ash: Dark white.

[theincorrectdead]

Linda: I don’t think your father approves of me.

Ash: Don't worry about it. He doesn't approve of me, either.

[bivampir]

the evil dead is the funniest frenchise ive ever seen. this dude named ashley barely survived the weirdest possessed house ever? send him there again, fuck it. oh he survived again? send his ass to a 13th century legend. oh he survived again? send him to walmart bro i don't know

[i-eat-aspic]

[theincorrectdead]

Ash: From time to time, when I think of an eloquent saying or a phrase, I have Kelly write it down. She’s collecting them for my memoirs.

Kelly, holding up a clipboard full of scribbles: Here’s Ash’s quote from Wednesday.

[theincorrectdead]

Ash: You know, Brandy, when you generalize, you tell general... lies.

Brandy: ...

Brandy: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.