Booty Balloons

Don't touch the butt, asshole

[thunderthong]

Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.

Me: *turns up music*

Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!

Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.

Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?

Me:

Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?

Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.

Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.

Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?

Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.

Lady cop: I can make that happen.

Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!

Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.

Entire train: *applauds*

[harrystylesdildo-deactivated201]

When he say he gonna eat ya ass and you aint showered yet

[fonzworthcutlass]

I’ll see yall in church

[harrystylesdildo-deactivated201]

When yall see each other in church the day after he ate ya dirty ass

[iraffiruse]

[jayciiellur]

A - Z of Unusual Words

This is beautiful. It brings tears to my eyes.

[sixpenceee]

Visit Original Link

THE SPONGEBOB THEME SONG SLOWED BY 800% WILL HAUNT YOUR DREAMS

This was no joke, sweet dreams

ORIGINAL VIDEO 

[nonymoose-deactivated20160622]

Things:

Castiel pillow by Heart Felt Design

1 Mini Sherlock cup (I’m too fucking lazy to retake the picture but cups include choice of Moriarty, John, or Sherlock)

Loki: Agent of Asgard #1

Star Trek Socks

TARDIS Lunch Box + TARDIS travel mug & coasters 

Doctor Who Doctionary 

Game of Thrones Direwolves (Greywind & Summer)

Rules:

You don’t have to be following me to win 

There will be 2 winners: 1st place winner gets choice of first four things, second place winner gets the rest (note: I usually throw in extra goodies if I like you or your blog)

If you do win, I will require a mailing address (intergalactic shipping included) *please keep this in mind before entering*

No Giveaway Blogs or so help me

Likes and Reblogs count 

Keep your ask box open

And most importantly, do NOT send hate to any of the winners

(EDIT: FUCK I FORGOT: Deadline is July 4th)

[nonymoose-deactivated20160622]

The winner will be announced July 5th at 12 pm (PST)

[bleaksqueak]

Well, I’ve been meaning to do a giveaway for quite some time… and so I took some time out of my personal weekend projects to make, just for you guys, the single-most requested character I’ve gotten since I started making fanart plushes from Homestuck! So in celebration of reaching several milestones that all went by too quickly for me to celebrate (and still coming, yow!) Here it is!

BIG GRAND PRIZE:

twwo royal curvved horns 

savvvvy specs

a shock a vviolet hair proof enough a this princely heritage

a piercin gaze fittin only a wwell hatched troll a the sea

a friend for evven your most genocidal a powwwwowws

stunnin sense a dress enough to strike fear into evven the most foolhardy a landdwwellers 

a matesprit any abdicated empress to be wwould a been lucky to havve

powwerful wwretched wwhite science incase the wwould be empress abdicates too hard and accidentally eschewws your advvances

its not magic man wwe talked about this

NOT INCLUDED:

Actual genocide

RULES:

Reblog this post to enter

likes count too

You can reblog it as many times as you like, but don’t use alt accounts

You don’t have to be following me

Send ANY INQUIRIES to my special giveaway tumblr: http://pukind-giveaway.tumblr.com/ask/

FURTHER READING (IMPORTANT INFORMATION):

This giveaway will run until July 12

THE DOLL IS COMPLETELY FREE

Winner within the United States pays NO SHIPPING

International MUST PAY SHIPPING and MUST UNDERSTAND any and all problems that may arise with international shipping (customs, lost packages, long shipping times, etc.)

ALLERGY WARNING: This doll is made completely of wool and is not recommended if you have a wool allergy

THIS DOLL IS NOT A CHILD’S TOY. It is a hand-made collectible and has fragile parts.

If you are under the age of 18, you must have permission from your parents or guardians to give out your shipping address. 

and lastly, I do NOT sell Homestuck dolls or Homestuck doll commissions, nor will I sell this doll to you privately before the contest’s end. Please do not ask!

That’s it, have fun and good luck, landdwwellers! 

[berksome]

a happy couple might’ve got married today 

someone might’ve kissed their best friend and realized they are gay today

someone might’ve found out they were officially cancer free today

someone might’ve finally finished their debut novel today 

lots of interesting things might’ve happening today 

we should celebrate 

[can-u-not-my-wayward-son-deacti]

you’re the kind of person everyone needs in their lives

[thunderthong]

Okay but let's not include finding out you are gay because that goes from the "I don't know" stress stage to the "I know" stress stage and it multiplies by like tenfold so yeah that's not always a good thing

[metrobus-deactivated20160719]

date a girl who breeds. make as many babies as possible. literally make 1 million babies

[spikespiegell]

where is that video of a guy playing the shire theme on a flute to an ostrich who starts dancing seductively. that video made me laugh so hard i nearly threw up and i need it

[spikespiegell]

i found it

[hadlow-brown]

i have never been that excited to see a video after reading a description of it

[grumsal]

Did you know there’s a hobby for people called Sungazing where they stare into the sun for extended lengths of time during the first hour of dawn and the final hour of sunset? I don’t know why they do it but they claim it to not hurt their eyes. It’s really good though because they think that if they do it at these specific times there is no harmful UV damage, but it actually does often irreversibly fuck up their eyes a whole lot

[thunderthong]

Should I post my jockstrap pics, or...?

[nosdrinker]

if you scroll past this you’re heartless

[thunderthong]

Why the long face sheriff Did last night's ho-down leave you a little horse

[thecheeziersnack-blog]

[littlebitofgoldandapager-deacti]

literally what this website did to some of you

[mystraknits-deactivated20160402]

accurate

[cassietotallyjust]

Shit

[gunnerychief-archive]

i think it’s the undercut.

[plainlookinghero-deactivated201]

I just realized I can participate as well

I used to wear those 3D glasses with the lenses pushed out now I actually need classes because I’m near sighted hooray

[nashnolastname]

Before

After…. yep it’s this site. 

[walkawayinsin]

Oh yeah? This is me like early 2011:

this is me today:

[theplaceyoushallnotbe]

So basically Tumblr turns girls into badass bitches who know how to work it.

[cringepics-deactivated20140527]

[majortvjunkie]

its posts like these that keep me believin in true love

[buttermymuffins-deactivated2024]

[iamgoingtoeatyoursoul-blog]

THANK YOU. I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR ABOUT 5 YEARS

[rockyhorrorpicturechic]

What am I going to do now?

[damndanyul]

You can die happily

[gaaraofsburbia]

#the blood oath is fulfilled #i am free

[centripulo-deactivated20180629]

HERE YOU GO GUYS HAVE A PRESENT

[pleatedjeans]

Tumblr Gets Deep (25 Pics)

[ilovekorn247-blog]

Bulldog/lab mix holy shit

[unirony-deactivated20150728]

i wrestled a kid with these proportions in highschool

[clamjob-deactivated20140702]

wheres its neck?

[underwrapsiwasateenbackthen-dea]

with god