felicia knew that peter was going to take everything to heart like he always did. his huge heart and need for justice is what made him the hero he was, what made peter so inherently good. she’s watching him as he pulls the first aid kit out from under his bed, threading the needle and suture, noticing how his hands began to shake slightly. “it’s okay,” is all she can say, feeling her emotions start to bubble up. she’s always been good at suppressing everything she ever felt; almost like she’d trained herself to compartmentalize. it was the only thing that had kept her sane all these years, the only thing that allowed her to be black cat. but lately, the weight of everything was getting to be too much. felicia lydia hardy was far too young to have this much pain, to carry this much emotion and not be able to do anything with it. and the one person she’s ever been able to open up to is kneeling in front of her, looking up at her with those eyes and a small sob finally slips past her lips. the throbbing on her side had subsided to a dull pain, the anxious and overwhelming feeling of sadness weighing down on her chest bringing more pain to her than anything else on her body. felicia did need help— she couldn’t do this all on her own; she was trying so hard and failing every single time. and all she could do was punish herself for not being strong enough to carry the weight of her world on her back. maybe she really did need peter’s help in more ways than one. “i can’t do this, peter. i’m nothing like you. i’m trying… so hard… to be better, to be more like you and i’m losing… everything. i did lose everything.” the blonde pauses, letting out a shaky breath as she braces herself for the needle to go through her skin, her hand gripping tightly at the back of his computer chair. “and i’m sorry i left — i thought… i thought i was gonna be able to come back. but i need to tell you something because… i don’t know what’s gonna happen to us, pete. this isn’t the new york we left behind and if those sentinels come back after me and something happens to me, i can’t die again without telling you how i feel.” another breath, her eyes fluttering shut as she tilts her head up towards the ceiling. the pain from her wound and peter’s stitching is making her head spin, her own hands beginning to shake. “i’m in love with you, peter. i— i love you. i’m not expecting you to say it back or anything but i need you to know. just in case i disappear again and i don’t… come back this time.”
as soon as he saw felicia begin to crumble, peter's own eyes clouded and the concern etched into his features, the hand on her knee gently stroked her in a form of comfort. he wasn't sure what else he could do, he wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything will be okay, but he couldn't. he remembered what it was like when his uncle ben died --- and then gwen. people trying to reassure him of the grief he felt and how he tried to push them all away. he nibbled at the inside of his bottom lip, trying to withhold his own emotions from breaking through, but he could understand how she must've felt. instead, with a sniff, he put a firm grip on the needle, reaching to her injury as felicia began to speak again. "no, that's not true." he steadied himself and pierced through her skin, stitching her up carefully as he removed his hand from her knee, dabbing at the wound with a cloth from his kit as he did so. "no, it's okay. you don't have to say anything. it doesn't matter, i promise." he spoke softly, because after everything that has now happened, it was all so little to what felicia had told him now. she had no reason to apologize --- for anything. he continued to stitch, concentrating on the incisions of the needle, but as she mentioned 'us', his eyes looked back up at her, a slight crease of his brows and his hand moved back to her knee. "w-what do you mean?" he stumbled out, but he soon glanced back to his stitching, until she spoke again. peter almost dropped the needle, his hands trembling as the rest of his body froze. this was bereavement, he thought. it had to be, he remembered being the exact same way when he lost ben. "felicia, i ---" he wanted to say it back, he badly wanted to but instead, he finished off the stitches, his own grief simmering inside as the words tried to push past his lips. the path of a hero was a risky, unpredictable one. one where he wasn't sure what the outcome could be. in the past he'd pushed his loved ones away to avoid them getting hurt, but... felicia was already hurt. more so than he could imagine. he couldn't pretend not to feel the same way, but at the same time, he wasn’t sure the circumstances were right. "you will come back." he finally said, a smile curving his lips as he met her gaze, though it soon faltered. "and i... i'm here for you. always."
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