call me confetti

I'm a beautiful mess.

[tigerbeatbox]

[whitegirlsaintshit]

a guide to the white girl's "sexy" dance

sway hips in a figure 8 motion

do this while bending the knees into a squat position

come back up

raise arms above head

look at armpit seductively

put hands in hair

don’t pay attention to the beat

at all

this is your dancefloor

you rule the school, Megan

swing those hips, you sexy bitch

[computasputin]

[hatingeverything]

the gif omg

[labias]

[lucifurby]

[mjalti]

me, drinking tea: pls leaf water….sage my body of the demons of my past…steam my colon…let me know peace

me, drinking coffee: I beg of u bean juice….cleanse me of the curse of sleep….make my heart beat like a tribal drum in ceremony….let me conquer this building

[littlethingwithfeathers]

The Oath of the Stage Manager’s Watch

The house is open, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until the last cast member has left the theatre. I shall take no breaks, answer no texts, check no Tumblr. I shall wear no color and receive no applause. I will live and caffeinate at my post. I am the glow-tape in the darkness. I am the watcher in the booth. I am the shield that guards the realm of actors. I pledge my life and honor to the theatre, for this show and for all shows of the run.

[mandatorywhimsy]

I AM the glow tape in the darkness!!!

[handsomedogs]

My handsome almost 9 year old boy! Buddha is half pit half chow chow!

[reparrishcomics]

[weloveshortvideos]

[puthy]

HELP HER

[microwa]

@oliolioxin-free

[clowncare]

when u used to be an overachiever but now ur barely running on enough energy to function and u dont know how to cope

[kingpinnn]

[uglysex]

white ppl = M E S S

[penis-hilton]

this is crazy how is america real

[downset]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[inkskinned]

sounds for the houses:

Gryffindor:

the quiet crackle of fire in a warm room

her laughter after you finally kissed her

the first bird of the morning in a tent you set up by yourself

a train rolling by 

“i knew you could do it”

fall leaves underfoot

the soft padding of a wildcat

a tornado that’s too close for comfort

yelling yourself hoarse

hoofbeats

Hufflepuff:

the quiet chime of the oven timer 

shifting your legs in clean bedclothes

lazy summer afternoons, cicadas in the distance

“i’ll wait for you.”

her happy gasp when she sees you

the shush of ribbon around a giftbox

sifting flour

an empty echo in a dark canyon

drumrolls

purring

Slytherin:

the tapping of long nails on good wood

waves on a pebble shore

a crowd chanting your name

“you were right.”

her happy sigh when you pull her closer

the soft shush of a dancer’s feet 

good shoes clicking on tile floors

wolfpack howls

the silence of a snowy midnight 

a good engine idling

Ravenclaw:

rain on windowpanes

old leather creaking

the quiet strum of a guitar

quietly whispered poetry

good coffee machines

a paintbrush on fresh canvas

“that’s an incredibly good idea”

footfalls on library carpets

the inhale of her breath when she ducks her nose into an old book

wingbeats

[centolodigiani]

[dark-as-fuck]

Dark Pale•

[sahovina-deactivated20190210]

ask me something and I will check out your blog!

[love-personal]

[owenburnett]