I'm tired of feeling like I'm screaming into the void, trying to find something real and healthy. I feel as though my emotions are a tsunami, trying to smash me against every damaging and painful object they can find while I spin through the currents, trying to grab anything that will keep me from falling apart. I can see the things that break, and how to fix them, but they don't want to be fixed; they just want to survive. I'm pulling myself together, bit by bit, still trying to find something that isn't crumbling to pieces, but feeling less and less optimistic. I have constants, like my pets and my talents, my friends and my loved ones, but even then I feel that they don't deserve such an agonizing human to rely on. I know it's the inner critic trying to tear me apart, but sometimes I just want to scream and tear the inner critic to pieces, beating it bloody and bruised, until it can no longer form the words to wound me. I know like all things, this too shall pass, but it's hard to see the scope of the storm standing within the downpour.
