My Journey to being a better me

A place for me, by me #forever21

[tigrisfantasy]

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It's my 9 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

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It's my 8 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[tigrisfantasy]

Hey - just wanted to share what I made for breakfast. I normally like to cook sliced apples along with my oatmeal, and then have raw slices and blueberries in my bowl. But we had no apples today, so I decided to put in blueberries instead. Which made for a very...colorful meal...

So this is both cooked and raw organic blueberries, organic chia seeds, cinnamon, and of course oatmeal. It tastes pretty good ^^ I do miss my apples, though. I looked on MyFitnessPal the other day, and I have logged in for 360 days! That is pretty cool - the longest streak ever. So now I am determined to keep loggging in so I can make one year. I have not always been 100% when it comes to logging and eating healthy, but I will say that logging something kept me from gaining weight. Which I think deserves a celebration in itself. Right now I am in 3 challenges on MFP. The Jennie-O Turkey challenge has a badge for logging a meal that has ground turkey in it, and Power Your day challenge has a badge for logging a meal that has a salad in it. So I will do my best to work both of those in my meals.

I am making my tea again for this summer. What I mean is that after the travel mugs that you get at Dunkin Donuts (which gives you a discount on iced/hot coffee) offer is over, I like to use them for big cups of tea. I find that it helps hydrate me well, and helps to get in the 8 glasses of liquids that Weight Watchers likes to promote. Plain water of course is the best, but when I drink 3- 16.9 fl oz bottles, at least I can feel a bit better because I had the tea as well.

T25 - my goal this summer is to be able to get through the Alpha Cycle. I tend to either lose motivation or I get really sore, and a day off becomes an indefinite time off. I don’t know why I (others as well) would want to sabotage our efforts like this.I guess I need more motivation to stay focused. For instance, I was looking at Candace Cameron Bure’s workout looked like, and I was just like...#fitnessgoals

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/health-fitness/a59931/candace-camerone-bure-diet-diary/

They have not only a video of her working out, but what she eats. Even learned about a new protein bar that I will definitely check out next time I go to Walgreens or The Vitamin Shoppe.

Okay - that’s all from me for now!

[tigrisfantasy]

It’s not too late

Saw the following post on Facebook today and decided to copy it here:

***

At age 23, Tina Fey was working at a YMCA. At age 23, Oprah was fired from her first reporting job. At age 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer. At age 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school. At age 28, J.K. Rowling was a suicidal single parent living on welfare. At age 28, Wayne Coyne ( from The Flaming Lips) was a fry cook. At age 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter. At age 30, Martha Stewart was a stockbroker. At age 37, Ang Lee was a stay-at-home-dad working odd jobs. Julia Child released her first cookbook at age 39, and got her own cooking show at age 51. Vera Wang failed to make the Olympic figure skating team, didn’t get the Editor-in-Chief position at Vogue, and designed her first dress at age 40. Stan Lee didn’t release his first big comic book until he was 40. Alan Rickman gave up his graphic design career and landed his first movie role at age 42. Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his first major movie role until he was 46. Morgan Freeman landed his first major movie role at age 52. Kathryn Bigelow won the Academy Award for Best Director when she made The Hurt Locker at age 57. Grandma Moses didn’t begin her painting career until age 76. Louise Bourgeois didn’t become a famous artist until she was 78. Whatever your dream is, it is not too late to achieve it. You aren’t a failure because you haven’t found fame and fortune by the age of 21. Hell, it’s okay if you don’t even know what your dream is yet. Even if you’re flipping burgers, waiting tables or answering phones today, you never know where you’ll end up tomorrow. Never tell yourself you’re too old to make it. Never tell yourself you missed your chance. Never tell yourself that you aren’t good enough.

Wow, there is still time left. You can do it. Whatever it is.

[tigrisfantasy]

My thoughts on the 2016 Blizzard

“The Weather Service recorded 26.8 inches in Central Park, missing a record by one-tenth of an inch. But Saturday’s total of 26.6 inches was a record for a single day (the other 0.2 inches fell on Friday). The one-day record beat 24.1 inches, set during a two-day storm in 2006. That storm retained its place as the city’s snowiest.“ - New York Times

I normally don’t make a big deal when it snows, but dang we had a LOT of SNOW over the weekend! I normally go out the front door and then walk out to the back garage where all of the supplies are...but for this storm I went out through the backyard. And that was not easy!  And taking 3.5 hours to shovel a path 3/4 of the way up the driveway was inconceivable to me. I seriously need to get better shovels, because I think that is part of the problem. I used two shovels...one to break down the snow, and one to shovel snow to clear the path. And then at almost 10 am, someone comes with a snow blower and cleared not only a path in front of my house, but finished the rest of the driveway for me in like 15 minutes. So all i had to do was to clean up the stairs - luckily the next door neighbor had made a path last night so it wasn’t that bad of a clean up. I feel bad because I felt like I did so much work and expended so much energy, but it didn’t really equate to much results.

My dad, who stayed inside the whole time, was complaining about how i didn’t clear the stairs. Um...normally when I shovel I shovel down, so that all of the snow piles up at the bottom of the stairs. And since they had made a path, I would be in effect blocking the pathway. Shoveling off to the side is kinda hard cause it’s hard to manipulate the shovel without hitting the awning. But I did clear off the top step for the most part. I think my dad acts the way he does because he doesn’t realize how hard it is to maintain our house. He talks about how it “used” to snow, but in the records it shows the biggest blizzards mostly during my time. I am sure it probably snowed more frequently in my dad’s day, and he remembers it so well cause he had to shovel a lot of snow...his dad owned an apartment building so he had to maintain that, his house, and did shoveling work with his friends. But to downplay what we are experiencing now is not cool. For the house we have now, we really should have our own snow blower. But I guess you can’t tell older people anything.

In retrospect, maybe I could had tried clearing out some snow on Saturday...but I HATE shoveling only for it to have no effect later on. And since we have cars parked in from of the house, it’s effectively burying their cars in snow . When I get new shovels, one is definitely going inside of the house lol.

Now, some pictures of how the blizzard progressed:

This was Friday night when it had first started snowing.

Saturday

Saturday afternoonish (they had shut down traveling in the city by then)

Saturday night. I was taking the pics from upstairs before, but the window had gotten too messy for me to get clear shots. So I went downstairs and took it from a front facing window.

I had opened the door to see how bad the damage was, and I saw the next door neighbor had shoved a path for us ^^ I love our neighbors - we look out for each other. I remember it had snowed a little bit earlier in the month, so I salted both of our sidewalks after I was done shoveling.

Sunday morning after the snow had stopped and people were trying to dig their cars out, and clean up their sidewalks.

I knew since snow had came in so late this winter season (Seriously we did not get any snow until earlier this month...it was like raining around Christmas time), I knew it was gonna be a big snow fall when it did come. And now I am hearing we may have more snow coming this week....gah....

[tigrisfantasy]

Happy New Year!

Hey guys - hope the new year has been kind so far. I guess I have had a good year so far. I have been buying a lot of beauty items as of late (on sale of course). But I think subscribing to the Nouveau Cheap newsletter has been kinda dangerous to my cash flow..lol. I’ll show you why.

I had found out about the awesome sale on Korean facial masks and Zoya nail products on Plurk.com, both linking to the Nouveau website. I think the masks were 11 for $11+, and Zoya was 4 nail polishes for $15 (think you just had to pay for shipping).

I think this shows only 10Tony Moly Sheet Masks masks, because I had already used the Red Wine mask (good for pores!)

I have always wanted to try Zoya polishes, but they are expensive (to me anyway).

So, the 4 polishes in the container were I guess the “free” polishes, and I couldn’t narrow it down to 4, so just bought the extra one.The dark colored one is like a jelly polish - comes out lighter if you just use one coat. The red one has an awesome matte finish - perfect for any party or festivity.I forgot what other one I tried - the satin or the one next to it. Both are like neutral colors, anyway. Now, since I haven’t really worn nail polish in ages, I don’t have the basics ( base + top coat, nail polish remover), so I just ordered the kit. I’m sure I could have gotten it cheaper around my way (like standard items), but it was just easier to order. Also, I think it’s good to use items within the same system. I think I got like sample colors of Zoya’s new line too in the package.

The only thing that I thought was odd about my order was that it took a while for it to process. I had ordered the masks from Amazon, and items from Bath and Body Works (will get to that next), and yet both arrived before the Zoya finished processing. And I ordered the masks and Zoya before the BBW items. So I wrote support asking what was happening. I got the response saying oh if I wanted my items right away don’t use a promo code. That makes no sense. If the items needed to become available, they should indicate that more clearly on the website. She referred to the ToC, but I was just thinking I thought it was an error in billing...wouldn’t you accept the order and then show the status? Idk - it’s my first time experiencing anything like that. It didn’t help matters that the very next day my items shipped...so you have to write them in order for them to process? That’s a big coincidence I think.

Bath and Body Works had their semi-annual sale ^^ I haven’t shopped them in years - like I would always keep an eye our for their sales, They would have one in I think late summer and then one after Christmas...I am not sure exactly because I would always shop the summer one. I guess it’s in January ^^

Now, I have always wanted the Forever Red items, but I guess these never go on sale. I have checked several times in store when the “entire” store is supposed to be on sale (well not really the whole store but pretty much everything had a discount of some sort), and I checked online. My friend said she wanted to get me a Christmas present from BBW and I talked about the Red, but I didn’t want to be THAT friend, so I asked about I THINK A Thousand Wishes (or whatever they had advertised on the front page around Christmas).

I picked Pink Chiffon because another friend said it was her favorite scent. The rest I picked based on what scents it was made of, and Twisted Peppermint...come on PEPPERMINT people!. Can’t go wrong, and all of these are a win. I think i like Thousand Wishes the best but it’s like having to choose between Lindt and Ghirardelli chocolate - you can’t! I don’t even know what my favorite chocolate is tbh. I know I used to go to Godiva once a year for my birthday and get a ton of stuff, but as long as it’s a truffle, I don’t see how you can go wrong?

Oh, and I ordered stuff from The Body Shop - I will post that when it comes. They said the apple butter smells like an apple jolly rancher (which was my fave candy as a kid), so Had to try that. But yeah....do you see how this website is putting a dent in my wallet? Lol...smh. But yeah - go sign up and get all of the cheap deals ^^

[tigrisfantasy]

Return to Weight Watchers

So Saturday I went to the WW meeting, which I had not been in over 2 years. I was down 1/2 lb from my last recorded weight, which is a big deal for me considering. Everyone was very friendly, even moreso than the last time I was there. My old leader was gone, but I had already know that she had left. Now to find out what happened....

Smart Points! I still have a hard time calculating them because the app sucks and inputting food online is awkward. My Fitness Pal still rocks, so I think I will just double journal. I am surprised though that they do not count fiber anymore. Fiber is important, but I guess members were trying to game the program by adding fiber powder to items instead of just eating the fruit and veggies.

One thing that I liked about the new program is that WW encourages you to take care of yourself....all parts of yourself, not just diet and exercise. I am going to answer the questions now - if anything, they will make a great comparison for later on.

My best self is confident and determined.

My best self likes to play recreational sports and spend quality time with loved ones.

When faced with a challenge, my best self thinks calmly and acts instead of reacts to the situation.

On a typical day, my best self chooses to eat chicken and chocolate Orgain shakes.

In a typical week, my best self gets in a few workouts, including T25 and Pilates.

My best self takes time out for relaxing, restoring breaks such as bubble baths using Lush products.

Overall, my best self feels energized about life,

If a new Weight Watchers member asked my definition of success my best self will say “It’s not about making a hit, it’s about making a classic”.

[tigrisfantasy]

My brunch from yesterday ^^

[tigrisfantasy]

How was your Thanksgiving?

Welp, I am still eating leftovers, although I think they are like 90% done. Add that to the fruit bouquet that my dad received when Grandma passed away on the 8th, and.... yeah.

I had the following: * Turkey w/ stuffing & gravy (even though I made the gravy a couple of days later) * Organic Cranberry sauce * Boxed mac n’ cheese made with sour cream , shredded cheese and a pinch of dry mustard * Oxtails w/ black rice * Collard greens (used chicken broth and a few cooked oxtails) * Mashed sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top * Potato salad * Mashed sour cream and chives potatoes * Organic pumpkin pie & Entenmann's apple pie It was a LOT lol. So let’s backtrack because I have mentioned several things so far.

My Journey

Before thanksgiving, I was down almost 30 lbs. I kept going from 25-27 lbs lost. All I have been doing really was tracking everything that I have eaten. I’m still working on balancing my macros but I was  not as worried about it this month because of everything that was happening. Now I am just trying to drink lots of water and tea to keep everything moving in my system...because water weight is real lol.

My grandma

It was really rough with grandma. I felt ever since I finished my last degree, most of my efforts were making sure all of her insurance and services carried through. I spent most of the summer getting her back into managed care, because even though she had services, Medicaid was not picking up her doctor’s bill. And it turns out she was not technically a member because she had missed the deadline of her LTMC...so for a whole year she was not a “member”.

So once that got straightened out in September, she started to get bedsores. The aide that came 2x a week was letting me know the details, but the aide that came 5x a week wasn’t saying anything as they were getting bigger. One week later the part time aide was like she had to call the agency because it’s not supposed to be this bad. And i called her doctor, who made house calls. Tell me why NO ONE came to the house until one month later. She has had bedsores before but it never deteriorated this quickly. When everyone came (on the same day...nurses/doctor from 3 different companies), the doctor gave her two weeks. He said due to her poor nutrition, her cells were basically breaking down. And it surprised him that she lasted this long. He was sad about it, because he has been coming over to the house for at least 5 years. Grandma was 90 years old, so even though it was sad to hear, it was like...okay - it’s expected. She lived a lot longer than my mom, my aunts, my friend’s mother,and so many other people.

So on the 8th after the aide left for the day, I tried to wake her up around 5 pm...and no response. It was so many people at the house...the cops, EMTs, and firefighters. It was on a Sunday so I guess they all came along. Was at least 10 people there...Dad would say it was 20.

The funeral service went well...there was some hiccups. I wrote the obit, and one of my cousins looked it over and tweaked it a bit. I wish the cousin that wrote my mom’s obit would had let me tweak it a bit, but whatever. I put in a mention about grandma’s aides and doctors, because they did do well for her, and served her.

As my dad will say, in 2008 when we moved to where we are now, it was him, his mom, his wife, and his daughter. And now it’s only him and his daughter. Between this and daylight savings ending, my sleep schedule is off...I go to sleep earlier,and I wake up earlier. I have been up since before 3 am and it’s almost 4 am now...smh.

Thanksgiving

I was invited my my cousin (on my mother’s side) to come down to Maryland to have Thanksgiving. My thing with that is, I don’t feeling trapped.When my mom was still around, at least I had her to talk to when we weren’t talking with other relatives. And since I do not own a car nor have a license, it’s pretty much like when you are a kid and you have to depend on an adult to go anywhere. I love NYC ^^.And I like Thanksgiving...like cooking it. Christmas has not been the same since mom passed, so I would more likely go somewhere for that. I did not take any pics of the food...it’s cool though. Even though it makes for a looong wall of text without any distractions :P

So my goal for December (which is this week!) is to just continue tracking...balance what I am eating...and start formal exercise again. My upper left arm has been hurting because  I think I favor that side too much when I lay down or prop myself up.

[tigrisfantasy]

Trip to the Food Co-op

I went to my old neighborhood to the local co-op to get some Arctic Zero “ice cream”. What i liked about it is that the whole pint is only 150 calories, and gives significant protein and fiber grams.

It’s supposed to be lactose free, GMO free, gluten and fat free lol. Um...the chocolate was underwhelming. It’s almost like I could make “ice cream” from my own protein powder and it would have more punch. But then it’s supposed to be like cookies n’ cream...so not so much of a chocolate flavor but more of a cream. It’s not bad, but not sure I would get this flavor again. It’s more of a flavor expectation that was not met vs a bad product.

I also had my first burrito bowl from Chipotle’s ^^

* chicken * brown rice * double fajita veggies * black beans * red and green salsa (so yes it was spiced up ^^) * cheese ( I said a bit of cheese but this seems a lot so I’ll track the full amount of cheese on MFP)

A whopping $9...lmao. Just a bit more expensive than a chicken greek salad + apple from Panera bread. The guac you see in the photo is me adding my wholly guacamole 100 cal pack once I got home. No way was I gonna add 200+ cals when I had my own at home pfft. If you ever want to get filled up, this is the way to go. I did have chips and salsa a while back from a friend’s order. But I wouldn’t get the chips now. Would be easier just to like grab a corn shell taco (cause I heard you can do that for free) and break it up.

I also (tentatively) lost another 3-4 lbs. I’m not calling it official yet until several days have passed, however. I’ll say it now: tracking is always a win ^^ Even if you have to get stricter on weighing and measuring, at least you have an idea of what you are doing.

One thing that I am glad to see is that I can go over my calories a significant amount for a couple of days, get right back into gear, and it doesn’t damage me too much on the scale. It does help if I split the calories eaten into 2 days. Like recently I had two ghirardelli chocolate bars (Intense Dark Hazelnut Heaven & Midnight Reverie (86% Cacao)) in the same day, but I split the damage into 2. That helped me curtail my eating some the next day, but I did miss the calories. Empty calories are no good, people!

[tigrisfantasy]

October Update

I am still here! I’ve still been tracking on MFP, and I am happy to report that I lost 3 lbs below my recorded weight there. Which means I have lost 21 lbs in total so far since I started tracking in mid June ^^  I haven’t really exercised the way I have wanted. The most I have done with T25 was 4 days in a row. Then Friday I wasn’t feeling that great, and it kinda veered away from there. I probably would lose more if I did that program consistently.

I’ve added another tea to my rotation: hibiscus tea. My dad was recommended to drink it because it’s known to lower blood sugar and cholesterol (both of his is high as of last doctor’s appointment). I just like the taste of it...and the color ^^

I’m thinking of setting monthly goals for me to accomplish for myself, along with a reward. I have tried that in the past, but I have a hard time coming up with rewards I would actually look forward to doing. For instance, everyone would love a mani/pedi, right? For me, I always go with a friend so it’s more of a going out kinda thing. And I am extremely picky as to where I go. If a friend hasn’t been there or if it’s not in a nice neighborhood, I won’t go. It’s not worth losing your nails or worse to an infection from a less-than-stellar salon.

[tigrisfantasy]

Calm down

Today when my grandmother’s aide came to the house, she said her hair was falling out because of stress. She said she cut off her hair because one side was thin and it would had looked noticeable. She said did my dad have anything to combat hair thinning. Idk why she asked about my dad cause he has a bald spot himself lol.

I told her that I personally use castor oil for my hair. And she said oh yeah because your hair is really thick. I think this blog does a pretty good job of telling the benefits of using castor oil for the hair. I personally like to mix it in with my conditioner.

The next thing I told her to help her hair was to take biotin. Biotin helps strengthen your hair and nails, both made up of dead cells. Someone tried to argue with me that nails weren’t dead. Technically, only the part of the nail at the nail bed are living. But anyone who has ever burned their nail knows that the nail tip is not living (or else it would hurt when we singe our nails). I use Nature’s Bounty Hair, Nail, and Skin. I use it for a multivitamin (as well as fish oil from BioTrust).

Finally, I gave her a few bags of Chamomile tea from Stash. I love Stash - its rich flavors and aromatic smells is unrivaled compared to the typical mainstream tea. During a time when I was extremely stressed out, I drank a cup of this for 3 weeks- felt good as new.

Now I drink my tea from this mug - comes in pretty handy now that I can’t get my free refills anymore haha. But it’s good for approximately 3 cups of tea a day. It’s like a end-of-the-day ritual now. I do want to drink more organic tea after reading this post, so when I am able, I will try the organic versions of my favorite tea.

I hope my tips will help - I do appreciate everything she does for my grandma. And it’s nice to chat with someone who takes an interest in what I’m doing. She said she wants to start making smoothies because she is inspired by my weight loss thus far.

[tigrisfantasy]

Made a new recipe!

I just had a piece of almond fudge from one of the blogs that I follow in bloglovin’. I may take a picture later.

I used Kirkland’s creamy almond butter. The nuts were not raw, but roasted...but it was just the nuts (no fillers or preservatives). I was happy to find this recipe because

1. It gave me a reason to get rid of the last bit of almond butter in the fridge (never realized how much 1 cup really is)

2. For once, I had all of the ingredients in the house (even at 4 items there is always one that I do not have. I encounter it a lot especially with crockpot recipes).

3. Lately I have been thinking about sweets and carbs, and even though I am still doing fairly well with my eating, I don’t want a reason to slip backwards.

I also used  the pink Himalayan salt instead of sea salt. I learned about pink salt a while back when I went with a friend to an alternative health festival. They had the pink salt more like a crystal that you wear around your neck. That’s why when they said oh you can eat with it too, i was like o.O

Okay as I said, will try to get a picture of the fudge later. Now, if I added chocolate to it....mmm.

[tigrisfantasy]

What is sugar free?

I had this recently - unsweetened lemon tea from Honest Tea. To  me this is “sugar-free”. It tasted just like regular tea, with the slightly bitter aftertaste and all. I still prefer the tea that I make better, but in a pinch, I think something like this would be good.

This is also supposed to be “sugar-free”, but it has sucralose. I don’t really like consuming too many “fake sugars”- I do believe all of this processed and substitutes for the real thing is causing us to have so many food allergies now. When I was a kid, you could eat a PB&J with no problem. Nowadays, some schools won’t even let you bring anything with nuts for lunch.

About exercising - I admit that I have not been doing the Focus T25. My knee still gives me a bit of an issue, but I am still losing weight. So for now I won’t stress it as much.

[tigrisfantasy]

Things that I like about myself

I was looking through my pinterest for some inspiration and I saw this:

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/253046072790432857/

One of the things it said was to always keep a list of 10 things that you like about yourself. i did look on Google for some ideas, and I came up with this list:

Creativity

Empathy

Loyalty

considerate of others

flexibility

commitment to health

intelligence

problem-solving skills

good listener

balance of idealism & realism

Music appreciation

always trying to learn/do something new

I was also reading about ways to deal with difficult people, and I do have to try to remain calm. It’s hard though when you live with someone who seems to be always out to get you for any little thing. And as a friend pointed out - try to sabotage my efforts. Yelling at someone that you’re not doing something while doing that very something is grounds for a can of whoop ass. Period.

[tigrisfantasy]

End of week thoughts

I only did two workouts from T25 - Cardio and Speed 1.0. I couldn’t wake up at 6 am on the other days and fell behind. I tried doing the ab workout after speed 1.0 and I felt so clumsy, which sucks cause I have always had a pretty decent core. My legs just didn’t want to cooperate with the moves, and my knee is still feeling stiff.

I think I will start incorporating bike riding for like 10 mins a day like i did before when my knee started acting up. I haven’t been to the doctor or anything but I think the inner left (and sometimes right) knee muscles are weak. When I stretch or walk for a bit it feels better. When I get in the morning or when I sit for a while, it stiffens up. It’s so annoying. This has been happening off and on since ‘07 (or was it ‘09?) when I stepped off the curb wrong, and generally it acts up when I gain weight. But I lost weight so idk lol.

Tomorrow I will do the stretch, and then redo week 1 on monday.