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Aieee!! I want the purrmaid and all the snailys!!!

Something I’ve not done for myself since getting my first hearing aids 23 years ago.

Allow myself to be deaf. Today I am trying out something called deaf day. My BSL tutor suggested it as a way to practice my BSL and I suppose it will allow me to get in touch with my deaf identity. I was brought up oral, against my choice. I am only realizing now how much pain that has caused me and how much it is not who I am or want to be. I don’t have to keep pretending I can hear and understand what is going on. I don’t have to wear my hearing aids on the day they hurt or irritate me. I don’t have to do the deaf nod and hope I am acting accordingly. I am allowed to be deaf and not feel guilty or like a burden for it. I don’t have to speak.

My tutor has been such a wonderful role model, I now have two other Deaf individuals in my life. They may both be part of a profession but I am hoping I will make some Deaf friends soon and can feel at ease. To witness 100% communication is going to be bliss (I hope). I’ve just sort of got used too only ever getting 35% maybe even 30%. Not very much to say the least. There is just one thing that is bugging me though.

How come I still feel so terrible when it is all I have ever been my entire life?

#deaf #deafday #bsl