Well, This Is An Unfortunate Development.

I’m going to hazard a wild fuckin’ guess and say that this is not where I am supposed to be.

[timaeus-tumbled]

Alright. Guess I’m doing this now.

Hey. I’m Dirk. Dirk Strider if you insist on being so formal or whatever.

I’ve come to the conclusion that wherever I’ve been displaced in space and time, I’m stuck for the time being. Which is the biggest pile of bullshit straight from the ass of Babe the Blue Ox. Mega shitty, to be concise.

So, do me a favor and help a guy out here.

Where the fuck am I?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Current Team:

==> Pecky the Wingull, level 17

==> Sherman the Aron, level 30

Non-Battlers:

==> Byte the Rotom phone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

==> Pelipper Mail is Open! 📬

==> Pelipper UnMail is Open! 📭

==> Pelipper Malice is Open! 🧨

==> Musharna Mail is Open! 💭

==> Musharna Malice is Open! 🌪️

==> Magic Anons are Closed! 🪄

Helloooo!! This blog was inspired by @/carcinofaller and is run by @oasisofgalaxies ! I could not resist hehe

The mun is an adult and Dirk is 17 so don’t be weird.

Stuff in H^2 and the Epilogues aren’t canon to this blog because they make me sad /hj

[timaeus-tumbled]

Update: I’m not dead.

[cuttl-efishcatch-er]

I'm so happy People are finally seaing )(ow cool malamar is. 38D

((I'm so happy people are finally seeing how cool malamar is. :)

[timaeus-tumbled]

He’s a pretty cool guy once you get to know him.

[catboybiologist]

My Pokemon head canon is that if you were holding an Aron and she wanted to go down she would do the little cat thing where they wiggle until they leap out of your arms gracefully except Aron is made mostly out of solid steel and would land with the impact tungsten cube, dent the floor, cause permanent structural damage to the foundation, and then stand up and happily trot along like she didn't do anything

[a-lost-archivist]

Maybe you should get better nightmares. Like homestuck AUs or something. I don't know anything about homestuck for the record @plasma-veracity

…I don’t know what homestuck is.

[timaeus-tumbled]

Keep it that way.

[timaeus-tumbled]

Oh, right, it’s June. Happy Pride, folks.

[timaeus-tumbled]

I didn’t notice until now, but I fuckin’ reek of spraypaint.

[timaeus-tumbled]

Spent the entire day spray painting the top of a building. Whoever flies over this place will get one hell of an eye-full.

[timaeus-tumbled]

climb ontop of a building

I’ll do this in conjunction with the previous suggestion. Thanks.

[timaeus-tumbled]

go vandalize something

Not a half bad idea. I’ll see what I can do.

[timaeus-tumbled]

Bored. What’s some normal teenager shit I can get up to.

[timaeus-tumbled]

Shame I never got to practice my godtier abilities that much. It would have been interesting to see if I could do more than just atomizing someone’s soul.

[timaeus-tumbled]

It’s always entertaining to watch Sherman have a snack. I see a rock, I look away, and I hear a loud crunching noise. I look back. There is a bite taken out of the rock. It’s like a fuckin’ cartoon.

[timaeus-tumbled]

You're on rotomblr. You're definitely a loser. But, hey, you're with other losers who're willing to hang out, so I think it balances out.

Wow, way to bruise a guy’s ego. But I guess you’re right. I wouldn’t have met Feferi if I didn’t have this account.

I still vehemently deny any accusations of being a loser. It’s not physically possible for me.

[timaeus-tumbled]

Turns out if you throw an object while going fast as shit, said object will also go fast as shit. I mean, I already knew that. Obviously.

Anyways I feel really bad for that tree.

[timaeus-tumbled]

what do you mean fake?

It’s not exactly something I ever considered I could casually do. Back home the whole world was water, sure, but my Bro didn’t exactly leave skipping rocks in the crawlspace. Besides, there were waves and shit. That’s a no-go in the rock skipping business.

I mean, it feels like some shit you’d see in a movie. I’m half expecting some melancholy-ass instrumental to fade in. My theme is in a minor key and shit. Maybe the shots in grayscale to really sell the whole “brooding male protagonist” shtick.

Ugh. Now that I’ve written all of this, I sound like a huge fuckin’ loser.

Let’s forget this ever happened and just say I’m doing this shit ironically, ok? Great. Thanks.

[timaeus-tumbled]

I’m skipping rocks across a pond. It’s nice.