the party can start now that ive walked in

yo im dave strider one of a million  idk why im here but all the not as cool kids are already doing it which makes me look like a slacker so here i am the timelord unfashionably late to the party hmu [Dave Strider rp blog for the Aspects au timeline, sideblog to capenglish]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i randomly wandered into an art gallery with live music and a full cheese spread and im going ape

[creepsandcrawlers]

if u eat it the fey own u tho

[cheaphalloweencostume]

that’s the fey’s problem

[deceptipup]

bad news everyone

i exist

[coffeedyke-deactivated20180609]

How to tell they’re gay:

• They do not sit in chairs properly.

The real homosexual agenda is sitting on tables. Or floors. Or two chairs at once with your feet propped up on one.

[lewinsky2016]

me: *flirts w/ someone* them: *flirts back* me: woah calm tf down im not interested…………

[timeguardianleviosa]

semiaut0magic

tho id love to continue the tomfoolry that u accur whenevr u speak im goin to question why ud think americas smelly old smegma covered dick should be in the middle of america as opposed to as far away from the rest of us as possible an at least florida has th decency to make sure its rep as a garbage state is recognised an everyon knows about it arizona??? does not have that decency its garbage an hot and i dont think it even knows what room temperature water is everyone over there just drinks boiling water bc its the only kind they can get over there

doesnt have to be in the middle of anything just tuck it in it can curl around under itself and whatever southern states itd touch cause im not out here with the geography ruler measuring it and figuring out where its going to hit or maybe it wants to head north and get all nice and cozy with georgia im not going to judge it if it does but what is room temperature  its all relative in the great polar regions all they do is suck down ice all day then dont even turn on the faucet just pop the pipe open sideways and pull some out delicious frozen room temperature water

[timeguardianleviosa]

semiaut0magic

its existin is what its doin  have u seen that place its thru gods will alone tht it isnt constantly on fire it was built on th ebacks of dragons tht radiate nothing but heat and misery  it is truly worse than florida

no way dude ill give you the whole should be on fire dragon haven shit but it aint worse than florida  nothings worse than florida its americas dick made out of two panhandles at least arizona has the decency to stay tucked away inside the country where states belong instead of dangling it out everywhere like some two bit street walker

[semiaut0magic]

arizona? cursed

[timeguardianleviosa]

i know arizona built its own hellmouth and added a river but whats it doing to be getting itself cursed now

[nicolscage-deactivated20160704]

Your faves are problematic: birds

Sometimes enter large grocery stores with no intention of buying anything

[incorrectservamp]

“I thought everything was kinda calm but turns out I’m just ignoring every single one of my problems.”

— Kuro

[shitboy96]

Isn’t it funny how everyone is like background characters in other people’s stories. Except me of course because I’m sexy and important. But like, all of you guys

[ulibeanzz]

i am not saying i am a gold digger. .. .. but i am saying that if a person wealthier than i am wanted to shower me in money and gifts and fancy trips i would absolutely dig that 

[wisdomthewise]

[thebootydiaries]

me: *forgets friends birthdays*

me: *confuses memories*

me: *forgets own middle name*

me, also: hey did you know that all pennies minted prior to 1982 are pure copper pennies and not copper plated and are technically actually worth 2 cents

[morndas]

when my mental health is suffering and my friends ask if i need anything

[eatglas]

a jpegged lil shit

[sparkpluq]

idk how some people don’t swear, if i can’t say the fuck word every 15 minutes i just will explode

[childhoodruiner]

Them: What’s your sexuality?

Me: