“I don’t fault you for … for your skepticism…”
He hates himself, HATES himself!!! Hates himself INSTANTLY
for the wet sheen that belies the bitterness of black-brown
eyes, for the stammer in his thunderous voice that belies his
conviction. Stop, stop, STOP. Just because it’s XEM doesn’t
mean you have to be such a whore for emotional demonstration.
Show the restraint of your past faces! Don’t convey
the damage; it will only be used as ammunition.
“But I can only tell you the unvarnished truth and allow you to
extrapolate what you will. Is it not evidence of changed hearts
that I don’t try to force your hand, and sway your opinion, with
any sort of manipulation or mesmerism?”
He hazards a step closer to the Doctor.
“Yielding is my gift to you, Theta. We have both done things to
be ashamed of. Can you not return my gesture by bearing my
company? Can you not … pretend … that you can stand the
sight of the friend you once loved so dearly?”
Melodramatic. Regroup, idiot. And hurry.
“… . Never mind. Yes. Of course I want to know what happened
to you.”
I always, always, want to know.
I will always care.
Be it hate or love or the mangled thing in between that
is us, now.
Always.
“You want to know what happened to me? Fine.” Xe rocked back on xir heels, tugged at xir flesh-form’s left ear. “Well, for starters, after learning that I was going to die I ended up on Mars, altered a fixed point in time and declared myself the Time Lord Victorious after realizing that the stuffy boring politicians and gatekeepers of the universe are all dead and there’s no one left to stop me.” Xir smile then wasn’t what anyone would call friendly. “Then you came back, of course, along with Rassilon and Gallifrey, yada yada yada.”
The Doctor waved a hand dismissively. “When everything was back in the timelock, Donna’s grandfather had trapped himself in a booth that would overflow with radiation in a rather ill-sighted attempt to save one of the scientists there.” Xe shrugged. “I could have saved him, but I left him there to die instead. My life was more important than his; there was so much more I needed to do.” Another smile, one that didn’t quite reach xir brown eyes.
“And besides, Koschei, I’m not just a Time Lord. Frankly, I’m surprised no one on Gallifrey ever realized just how off I was from everyone else, much less the humans I began travelling with in my TARDIS.”