Hello everyone! I'm Owen, and this blog is for basically everything I want to talk about that I cant talk about on my main blog. I love talking to people, so please please please interact!
I'm greyromantic and greysexual - greyrose - and have suspected hypersexuality. I might post about that here. Feel free to ask about any of it, but please be nice :,)
I'm a hypersharing Ianto Jones yumeshipper! Ship name is Bittersweet. Please talk to me about it, I love him and have so much lore I love to talk about. I'll be honest this is the main purpose of this blog.
(I’m also a Nagito selfshipper but that comes from my Hajime kin so. It’s more like I ship Nagito/Hajime but I am Hajime. If that makes sense. And I probably won’t talk about that much)
Also worth noting that while I am a yumeshipper, I primarily call myself a selfshipper instead, and our relationship changes between romantic and platonic frequently. If anyone wants to know more feel free to ask! It's too long to include in an intro but I'm happy to talk about it
My main blog is @sneakysnek1123, my alterhumanity blog is @avian-owen, my talking-about-music blog is @i-think-but-i-am-not and I also run @the-real-adrian. So many blogs such little time
If you follow me, I wont be able to follow back as this is a side blog, which is incredibly irritating. Sorry!
I do to have breakdowns sometimes which I talk about at @not-alright-actually, but I'll try to keep any of the heavy emotional stuff away from this blog. I want it to be happy and safe here! The heaviest topic I talk about should only be my maybe-hypersexuality.
I use he/it pronouns, but am genderfluid, so go wild, use what you want, I don't care! I also sometimes use plural terms (we, us, etc). I'm not a system, they just feel right sometimes
Also, I don't engage in or with syscourse as I am not a medical professional and am not a system, so can't talk about the validity of endogenic systems!
My only specific DNI is kinrads, kinmeds, transmeds, anything like that. Otherpaws belong in this community and your desire to transition has no bearing on your identity, thank you very much.
I will answer all asks, no matter what they are. They will all get an answer. So please send them I'm so desperate for attention
Dividers by @/somebitchprobably-graphicdump! Highly recommend you check them out!
I'm also kinda worried this intro has made me seem a lot more cheerful than I normally am so just. Take the tone you read here with a grain of salt, yeah?
Userboxes: (by @/selfship-help, @/bagaluten-sys, @/nefersdarling, and @/artfest)
tags:
#✧nothing left to lose✧ = yumeship lore
#✧comfort the disturbed✧ = general selfship stuff
#✧bittersweet✧ = owen/ianto selfship stuff
#✧the only thing we have to fear✧ = vents
#✧i liked my books and clouds and sunsets✧ = normal posts
God it’s weird selfshipping in an alterhuman way especially when your alterhumanity wavers in strength over time
Like yes I don’t have a self-insert, I’m just This One Guy and I ship him with That Other Guy. But sometimes I’m not This One Guy, but I still ship him with That Other Guy. And sometimes I ship Me with That Other Guy. Still don’t have a self-insert or OC it’s literally just me and That Other Guy. I just look different sometimes
Okay so the way I experience hyperfixations is like a cycle, right? I have a list of hyperfixations and every three months or so I get back into one of them, until the next one comes around. And it is incredibly intense cuz, y’know, hyperfixation. And I’ve basically realised that my f/o’s are also a part of this cycle? Like, our relationship is more platonic when out of the hyperfixation and more romantic when in it. I still care a lot about them, whether it’s platonic or not, and they are my favourite characters, but yeah. It’s interesting I think
I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love Ianto I love-
Sometimes I have things I want to tell people but I always return to the same problem. The only person I want to tell, the only one who could ever possibly help me, is also the only one who I cannot, under any circumstances, tell
Its really interesting seeing the difference in my relationship with my f/o's. Like, Nagito is my boyfriend, because I'm Hajime, and to me thats true. I am always Hajime, and Nagito is always my boyfriend. But I also selfship with Ianto Jones, and that relationship changes all the time! Like right now its platonic. And that relationship is for fun, because I find it interesting, and because he means so much to me that having a way to express that is important. And I just find it fascinating, really. The human mind is so strange.
We literally just made this post but are actually trying to use them more so we’re giving it a go! They just seem to fit us really well. It’s hard to know what sentences to say to get used to using them, but it’s worth trying out different pronouns, we think. We don’t use they/them that much, but when feeling more dissociative or less connected to our body we do, and also quite firmly use things like we/us. The connection between our mental state and our pronouns is really interesting to us! And we do use they/them when it feels like people are referring to us as a plural, rather than using they/them as actual like. He/him type pronouns. Fascinating, isn’t it! Our gender is really interesting to us.
I think I definitely fell first. It would’ve started off kinda like how a celebrity crush does (I imagine, I’ve never had one) where it’s like “oh! That guys cute, it’d be fun to date him I think” and then spiralled massively out of control over the process of several years.
Ianto would’ve had a classic fanfiction “oh” moment, where he had a passing interest until Owen did something and he realised Oh my god I love this man. Which probably caused some kind of crisis knowing him
16: Whats your f/o’s love language? I think gift giving! In the show he does a lot of actions to help people, but in Cyberwoman it’s basically said that he does it to keep his job and doesn’t enjoy it. However, he seems genuinely excited and/or happy to give people things. It’s primarily food, in the show, but I like to think he does it more commonly than that
18: Movie night! What are you and your f/o watching?
I absolutely love sci-fi, especially some of the older stuff, so it’d be either one of the Star Wars films, the Martian by Andy Weir, or Galaxy Quest. I imagine we’d spend the whole time making fun of how inaccurate it is.
19: Who sleeps in, and who’s an early riser?
I can’t get out of bed for the life of me. I like sleep! Ianto, on the other hand, is a very professional man. Mostly. So he’d get up ages before he had to, get dressed, make coffee for us both, then come back and wake me up. I am in no way a morning person.
My tag for yume stuff is "comfort the disturbed" cuz it fits us really well but also I do have an actual name for our ship and it might make sense if I changed it to that
All the picrews I've made of me and Ianto because I cannot draw but have a desire to create (though why are the only picrew options twinks </3 /j)
hand-holding picrew by yulecat, character picrews by Maddel_art
Picrew by Makówka (I'm so bad at making Ianto in picrews it's hard okay)
First kiss picrew by KanahaniART, second by ELENA-ILLUSTRATION, bag (Ianto's!) by rainbun
Full-body picrews at https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1744829#goog_rewarded (I couldn't find the name of the creator for some reason), bag (mine!) by rainbun
So the thing about hypersexuality is that it isn't an official term - like, it's not a recognised diagnosable Thing. It's often treated by medical professionals as a symptom. But that doesn't mean it doesn't have a definition, or that it can't be used!
Hypersexuality is when you have uncontrollable urges, thoughts, or behaviours related to sex, to the point where it actively interferes with your daily life, and has a negative effect on your mental wellbeing. It tends to come from trauma, exposure to sexual content from a young age, things like that.
I, for example, am hypersexuality because I read incredibly explicit fanfiction from when I was eight to eleven and then from thirteen to now, which lead to an addiction to that kind of content. I also had several friends when I was twelve that made me feel as if not having sex or masturbating made me broken and wrong, and that I had to sexualise myself to feel wanted. I never did, but those thought patterns remained. I now have intense intrusive thoughts about sex, along with several related addictions/compulsions. It actively interferes with my life, and my intrusive thoughts are definitely the way it presents itself most, and they happen constantly. At school, at work, around my family. It makes me feel disgusting.
I'm also asexual.
Hypersexuality is not something I can be diagnosed with, but its there nonetheless, and I think its important to know about.
I grew up in a rented hoarders house that was rotting and mouldy and I lived there for eleven years until my parents gained enough knowledge of how to use and spend their money responsibly they got us out of there and now we live in a very nice house in a middle-class area and we have money to heat the place and eat well and go to clubs and all that sort of thing because their problem was never that they didn't have enough money it was that they spent it all on things they shouldn't have like alcohol and boxes and wallpaper they never used and the ridiculous prices our landlord set for minor repairs my dad could've done himself. And now I live in this disconnect between the shitty place I used to live and the place I do now because yes, my house is good and warm and we're mostly happy here even though my parents go into overdraft every August because my dad likes going to festivals, but it didn't use to be. Yes I'm privileged now but I didn't use to be. And I was always raised with a feeling of shame around money, the presence or absence of it, so I don't like bringing people to my house and showing we have that money now because I know just how quickly it could be taken away. One missed paycheck and we're back to that old terraced house with black mould in the corner of my bedroom. And I know I'm lucky to live the way I do but god does it feel weird to know that now
