Girl Lets Be Real

[identityarchitect]

there are like five rules to life and those rules are

1. eat 3 meals a day & keep a snack on u

2. always have a non alcoholic drink with you

3. never trust anything you think about your life after 8-9pm

4. do a little something for urself every day

5. interact with a Beast at least once a day (human, feline, canine, lizard, bird, etc)

and the secret 6th rule:

6. if you can't do all of those rules, just do the ones you can

[parkchanwoohoo]

My mom got a scarf for her dog to make him "look cool" and I genuinely don't understand how this is supposed to look cool 😭😭 He looks like he's going to the market to sell radishes

[narwhalertheimpaler]

This is the most accurate description I’ve ever found, thought it was worth spreading ❀

[peperomint-deactivated20160104]

do u ever send smth in a chat thats not even risqué like “i luv salsa” but no one responds so u start overthinking it like…. maybe one of their parents died making salsa…… maybe they were all just talking abt how they hate salsa……. maybe salsa isnt evn real and they have no idea what im talking abt

[notvoid]

[rainbowgazes-archive]

I love how the search function on this site is absolute garbage. I can look up a post word for word and I will NEVER find it

[simons-quest-deactivated2019091]

[strangerdarkerbetter]

Pro tip:

Wanna find a post?

Write out what you remember into a Google search.

After you write that out, end with site:tumblr.com

Google will search for your text on just tumblr

In my experience, it’s way more effective than searching through Tumblr

(you can use site:SITENAME.com to search any site btws)

[rainbowgazes-archive]

This usually works but for some reason a lot of posts get indexed on google from a person’s URL based on the posts that were recently reblogged on page 1, meaning that this is only a tiny bit more reliable.

[archivehead]

I HAVE a solution to this, you have to write down site:tumblr.com/post “ “

and then write a direct quote (could be a fraction of a sentence) into the quotations, I’ve been doing this for years, and it’s so useful, it works like 99% of the time 

(the more popular a post is the more likely you’ll find it)

[rainbowgazes-archive]

you’re a genius holy shit

[krisdoesart]

Just used this to find a post I’ve been desperately searching for, thank you so much

[sixpenceee]

Old cartoons with a horrifying twist. By calkearns

[bitetheolivez]

im calling the police

[yaaaaaaaslaaaaaay]

911

[diemetzgermeister]

Jesus Christ

[hobnob-69]

How is your husband?

He should be fine I left him with enough food and water for a week

[the-real-santino-rice]

That was two weeks ago

[hobnob-69]

Oh god no let me go check on him

[hobnob-69]

By Talos this can’t be happening

[dogmuzzle-deactivated20170328]

me at the dentist

dentist: when was the last time you flossed?

me: bro u were THERE

[zenzgtandg]

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

but it only works if 4 people are having sex lol

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

how many hands you got

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

two? don’t see how that’s relevant

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

allow me illustrate you

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

that’s still four people

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

i truly can’t make this any clearer

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

will smith isn’t gay. he has a wife and three beautiful, talented children

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

don’t know what you’re on about. will smith and slightly wider blue will smith have been married for years. they’re a hollywood love story

[naomster]

I can’t believe this post predicted the live action Aladdin genie

[dietnestea-deactivated20181214]

when u say a really clever comeback without stuttering

[just-shower-thoughts]

We are exactly in the middle of 6/9/1969 and 6/9/2069

[noahsdiscourse]

THIS ONLY WORKS TODAY

[anxietyproblem]

[biggest-goldiest-fish]

[nintendior-deactivated20260317]

So I got an idea

Let’s take this 

and put it in 

yes??? Nintendo, are you taking notes?

[planetclancer]

Real life. The concept you’re thinking of is going outside.

[alicereids]

yeah ok buddy I’m just gonna step outside and go talk to my neighbour the talking cat. the fuck kind of real life are you living?

[normalwizard]

[acdsv34ce198qfchsldkja-deactiva]

tfw = two fucking weiners

[misterjakes]

[whatsernamee-deactivated2025022]

I swear someone walking in on me watching porn would be easier to explain than this