i'd rather be sleeping

anna. she/her. 30s. tired bi. reader/writer. send hurt/comfort fics. AO3: tintedglasses main blog: @tintedglasses-main

[ticklefighthockey]

I just really think… that sometimes they should be having sex in ways that ilya doesn’t want to be having sex… but it never occurs to him that he could just say so… that’s not how it works when you’re a hot sexy kinda slutty dom top… and anyway shane wants it that way and ilya wants to give shane what he wants so… he’s obviously not going to wimp out or make a big deal of it just because doing it like this makes him feel kinda weird/bad like he’s not totally in his own body. like someone else is touching shane, fucking shane, saying those words to him in ilya’s voice

[tintedglasses]

okay i am procrastinating by going for a walk! but consider this: i love walks!

[tintedglasses]

i can feel procrastination trying to sink its claws into me already today (and fair enough because i should not have to be doing unpaid work during the weekend) so here are my thoughts on a schedule for today:

pick up my groceries

until 12pm: read my book and drink a bottle of water

12pm: make pasta salad for lunch

after lunch: sit down and work on presentation. i need to try to do the bare minimum for this because truly it’s not a big deal and i will not fail fellowship because of it. probably the big things are figuring out how to structure the lit search/purpose a bit better, cleaning up the slides a bit, and adding in the recommendations. extra would be making an assessment guide but we will see.

at some point: get outside for a walk and also maybe stretch a bit

maybe go through bathroom drawer

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Without doubt, an essential poem for this time of year. 'Snowdrops' by Louise Glück

[tintedglasses]

i need some structure to my day because i’m so burned out and at risk of laying around and doing absolutely nothing! here are my thoughts:

now until 11:45: drink hot chocolate and scroll until i have to get tuna ready to go get his rabies shot

12:00-12:30: rabies shot (maybe pick up lunch somewhere??)

1-3pm: clean apartment (pick up garbage and recycling and take it out, put dishes away, fold clothes and fill hamper, clean sinks)

3pm: get outside and go for a walk

some time tonight: work on presentation for work (pick a task: adding to lit review, making slides a bit nicer, adding the flow chart to the end, working on guide/recommendations)

also make grocery order and set for tomorrow morning to force myself out of bed then

if I have time, could be nice to start to pack a little

i am NOT allowed to aimlessly scroll apartment websites all day. i will allow myself to do so once at 4pm and once before going to bed. also i MUST drink one bottle of water.

[tintedglasses]

spent three hours (three hours!!) round trip to spend 8 minutes looking at an apartment that i didn’t even end up wanting!! why must i do this!!

[feral-ballad]

Louise Glück, from Meadowlands; "The Dream"

[Text ID: "why couldn't it go on longer? / Because it was a dream."]

[shanesloverboy]

Shane in a rom com romantically getting his man back and Ilya going through psychological horrors beyond our comprehension

[tintedglasses]

ah okay i made good moves today by reading a bit, looking at what i need to do for onboarding for my new job, and setting up an apartment tour for next week. now i really want to make some progress on cleaning my apartment and need some structure to do so, otherwise i will just sit and rot. here are some goals:

put all the scattered clothes in my laundry hamper

empty dishwasher/refill dishwasher

put garbage bag in garbage/collect garbage/collect recycling

empty out bathroom garbage

spend 10 mins putting away clutter

clean off couch

[tintedglasses]

okay i have been dragging around all day and I need to get it together to go to a housewarming party. here’s what i’ll do:

3-3:30: lay around a little more

3:30-4pm: shower

4-4:30pm: do makeup/hair

4:30-5pm: get dressed

5-5:30pm: go pick up greeting card

5:30-6:30pm: drive to friend’s house to carpool

[starrynet]

[tintedglasses]

.

[tintedglasses]

i am severely struggling to get back out of bed since i laid down an hour again after spending the evening with friends. but i have a lot to do before i have to travel early Sunday morning for the funeral and i don’t have time to do it all tomorrow. what can i do tonight for the bare minimum?

put clothes in hamper

empty dishwasher and reload

throw out garbage

what else needs to be done? cleaning out car, packing, picking up one dress option from kohls, maybe looking for other clothes options from express or loft, maybe going to watch the World Cup with friends, going to the John Mulaney show (!!), getting gas

[tintedglasses]

or. what if i just slept?

[tintedglasses]

i am severely struggling to get back out of bed since i laid down an hour again after spending the evening with friends. but i have a lot to do before i have to travel early Sunday morning for the funeral and i don’t have time to do it all tomorrow. what can i do tonight for the bare minimum?

put clothes in hamper

empty dishwasher and reload

throw out garbage

what else needs to be done? cleaning out car, packing, picking up one dress option from kohls, maybe looking for other clothes options from express or loft, maybe going to watch the World Cup with friends, going to the John Mulaney show (!!), getting gas

[shieldofiron]

Clock his ass.

[tintedglasses]

wow found out that my contacts don’t correct well for astigmatism at night while driving 70mph down i-94 in Chicago 😬 but i’ve made it home and now i can shower and relax a bit before bed. sadly i did not bring my cat with me since i will be back soon so no cuddling with him tonight but on the bright side, im about to get the best stretch of sleep that I’ve gotten in months

[tintedglasses]

tw: medical issues/death

i’m back visiting my family for Fourth of July and my grandpa unfortunately had a stroke a few days ago and isn’t doing well. i had been planning to go home today around this time but now i don’t really know what to do. it sounds like they are taking him in for a risky surgery that he probably has low odds of surviving within the next few hours but the timeline is uncertain. i think i’m going to wait a few hours to see how it goes but even then idk what i should do re: going back to Chicago or waiting for the funeral. it’s close to the end if my postdoc and my patients are all on a pretty strict timeline to be able to finish out their treatments before i leave. i’m also not allowed to take off more than a certain amount of hours, although i don’t think im that close to that but i know a funeral will take some time to get together. i also don’t know whether to go to the hospital now, knowing that it means i will have to drive back this way to pick up my stuff if i do end up going home today. i could also maybe reach out to my supervisor to see if it’s even potentially an option for me to work from home tomorrow from here to give me an extra day to figure stuff out. i don’t really know the point of posting this but i think i just need my thoughts out there

[tintedglasses]

okay things are maybe taking a turn for the worse so i am going down to the hospital. i also messaged my supervisor to see what my options are so i will just go from there I guess

[tintedglasses]

well i ended up getting approved for long distance telework today so i didnt have to worry about traveling last night after being at the hospital but now its just a bit of a waiting game to see how long he is on hospice/when i need to be here for the funeral. i unfortunately have in person patients tomorrow and wednesday so i’m debating whether to ask to keep teleworking and just stick around so i dont have to travel back and forth for the 6hour drive or whether to go back tonight and then come back when its time to. i dont have to decide just yet but should probably be checking in with my supervisors to see what’s feasible

[tintedglasses]

updating the saga because why not but nothing has changed with his condition so i’m going to make the drive back to Chicago today since i only got approved to do 2-3 days of telework anyways, so i guess i can save them for the pre/post funeral days instead. in case you were wondering, all this decision making sucks and i wish i didn’t have to do it and could just be off of work indefinitely!