Tiny Tonitrus

I play a lot of games and watch a lot of shows.

[the-boring-distopia]

If Ianthe Tridentarius was in any other media she would be so hated and salty people would make youtube analysis videos about how much she sucks, they would strip her of all her nuance.

But this is a the Locked Tomb fandom, everybody here is either a lesbian or an evil woman apologist, every time Ianthe commits a crime against humanity we clasp our hands together in prayer and thank Muir for this meal. I never once heard anybody in this fandom try to fix Ianthe but I saw many posts and fanfics about how we could make her worse. She is an evil leucistic stick in an incestious relationship with her own sister, she also ate one person and lobotomized an other, when she'll return in Alecto the Ninth I know we will all cheer like it's the fucking super bowl.

As we should. The character of all time

[gallusrostromegalus]

A friend of mine has been reading The Locked Tomb trilogy aka descended into Lesbian Necromancer Hell . He's having a great time, and been sending me reports from the pits.

Now I know that in the context of the story "DEATH TO VULTURES AND SCAVENGERS FIRST" is very poetic and badass, but taken with the context that this is the motto of the bone-manipulating guys, the motto sounds slightly less badass and more like they've been having an ongoing problem with Lammergeiers.

Thing is,

A Lammergeier is like, the single most badass familiar an osteomancer could have. Fuck off huge raptorial bird that is either black and white or black and blood red so either way it goes with your goth-ass aesthetic and is extremely easy to train to bring you fun and interesting new bones? Why does the ninth house NOT have these?

Oh right. Jod.

Anyway, this combined with a previous idea I had about Truly Awful Bird/Mammal combinations for The Worst Gryphon Ever, and you know what? Some fuckass idiot in that universe WOULD make a Lammergeier/Spotted Hyena Gryphon. Now that's a creature made to fuck over necromancers six ways from Sunday.

Eats flesh AND bones.

Constantly scream-laughing.

Terrifyingly intelligent.

-And then whatever idiot created this abomination made it big enough to ride and drool corrosive venom because everyone in that universe automatically doubles down on any bad idea they have.

Harrow is sobbing at it's mere existence.

Gideon is trying to cradle it in her arms. This is their daughter now.

"Daddy harrowhark put a bone in mommy griddlecakes and she made Princess Bonefucker Ultraviolence 9000 and birthed her with her own womb-" Gideon is saying aloud in the most babytalk voice possible to the gryphon, who is rolled over on its back and entirely agreeable with being smothered with affection, because if the Gryphon has a sole redeeming feature it's that it possesses the zen like chill that comes from the bone-deep knowledge that it is at the absolute apex of the local food chain.

It's also wearing Gideon's sunglasses.

They do not fit.

Gideon may spoil Princesss Bonefucker Ultraviolence 9000 but that animal is OBSESSED with Harrow. It's a real Daddy's Girl kind of creature, and it will attempt to eat the face of anyone that so much as looks at Harrow without her permission. Harrow isn't sure about this thing until it takes an actual shilouette-altering sized CHUNK out of Ortus' ass, and then she becomes very fond of Daddy's Special Little Apex Predator. She deigns to give it one (1) headpat, and is treated to Princess Bonefucker's "Happiness Noise", which sounds like someone threw a handful of gravel into a running garbage disposal.

"Why..?" Harrow asks, feeling the remaining edges of her sanity start to melt.

"Why not?" Asks Gideon, accurately reporting the entire thought process that went into the creation of this horror.

[anubisdeus-blog]

yes daddy

[masquerade-of-a-dead-dreamer]

A lot of the gameplay in Hellblade is framed through severe mental illness and I’m tired of people acting like these gameplay aspects are unnecessarily stupid or annoying, even those puzzles people complain about are her experiencing symptoms of her mental illness and if you don’t get it you’re never going to get it, her voices are exhausting and repetitive but that’s what mental illness is like, if you think a character experiencing symptoms of unrelenting mental illness that doesn’t conveniently let up when you need it to is all too annoying for you then Hellblade is not for you

[chromegnomes]

was told I should post this on tumblr

[chromegnomes]

"John is trying really hard to act like he's on Friends" is the most important addition anyone's made to this post so far

[vaggieslefteye]

꒰ঌ I'm grateful you're my father more than anything ໒꒱

꒰ঌ I'm grateful you're my daughter more than anything ໒꒱

[forbescaroline]

FORBESCAROLINE’S 9K CELEBRATION TOP 20 GREY’S ANATOMY SHIPS (as voted by my followers) #13. Amelia Shepherd and Kai Bartley You are someone who loves her people so hard and so much. I’ve never met anyone like that. It’s… inspiring.

[wiccaphiliaa]

Dear diary, its day 4939274 without Alecto. I think im going crazy.

[thorsonoflesbians]

god i love dune twitter

[drogonstone]

DUNE: Part Two (2023)

[firstflower9]

are you interested in reading the locked tomb series? or have you recently finished gideon the ninth and have no idea what you just read? are you interested in rereading a tlt book but dont want to reread the first one to get into it? did you just start harrow the ninth and realize you may have accidentally missed something? if you said yes to any of these questions, do I have the thing for you :))))

let me introduce tumblr to the first of my tlt recaps: the gideon the ninth bible. complete with character descriptions, in depth recaps of every chapter, a mystery log, and Even an explanation of the most confusing plot mechanism in the book (they keys.) use this to recap yourself on any chapter in gideon the ninth you didn't understand or to figure out what the answer to that one question you had was or just to re explore the plot of one of the best books ever :)

Table of contents:

Intro to the recap

TLT Pitch/What the hell is this series about anyway? 

First book synopsis

What you've probably heard from the internet

BN Synopsis

Real synopsis, how i would describe to a friend to get them to read it

State of affairs page 1

Act 1 scene 1

Character List

Dramatis personae 

List and descriptions

In Depth Plot Recap

Act 1

Act 2

Act 3

Act 4 

Act 5

Question Log

Key Log

Death Tracker (SPOILERS)

Character Flow Chart

hope you all enjoy!!!!!

gideon the ninth bible

[garplatinum]

[machinerot]

alright i couldn't find any posts showing this idle animation and needed it on my blog

[kainekron]

[katakaluptastrophy]

Masterpost of TLT metas

This is mostly for my own reference, as tagging doesn't seem to guarantee something being findable on Tumblr...but if you like wildly overthinking lesbian necromancers in space, enjoy!

Overthinking the Fifth House:

What is a "Speaker to the Dead"?

Actually, Magnus Quinn isn't terrible at sword fighting

Imperial complicity: Abigail the First

Pyschopomp: Abigail Pent and Hecate

Did Teacher conspire with Cytherea to kill the Fifth?

What does the Fifth House actually do?

The Fourth and the Fifth can never just be family

Cytherea's political observations at the anniversary dinner

Abigail Pent's affect: ghosts and autism

Were the Fourth wards of the Fifth?

Abigail probably knew most of the scions as children

Magnus Quinn's very understandable anger

Fifth House necromancy is not neat and tidy

Are Abigail and Magnus an exception to the exploitative nature of cavaliership?

"Abigail Pent literally brought her husband and look where that got her" (the Fifth in TUG)

The Fifth's relationship dynamic

The Fifth's relationship is unconventional in a number of ways

The queer-coding of Abigail and Magnus' relationship

Abigail and Palamedes, and knowing in the River

Was Isaac the ward of the Fifth?

Did Magnus manage to draw his sword before Cytherea killed him? (and why he probably had to watch his wife die)

How did Abigail know she was murdered by a Lyctor?

Fifth House necromancy is straight out of the Odyssey

Overthinking John Gaius:

The one time John was happy was playing Jesus

Is Alecto's body made from John's?

Are there atheists in the Nine Houses?

Why isn't John's daughter a necromancer?

The horrors of love go both ways: why John could have asked Alecto 'what have you done to me?'

Why M- may have really hoped John was on drugs

What is it with guys called Jo(h)n and getting disintegrated? (John and Dr Manhattan)

John's conference call with his CIA handlers

Watching your friend turn into an eldritch horror

Why does G1deon look so weird? (Jod regrew him from an arm)

When is a friendship bracelet not a friendship bracelet?

Why did John have G1deon hunt Harrow? (with bonus update)

The 'indelible' sin of Lyctorhood and John's shoddy plagiarism of Catholicism

Are John Gaius and Abigail Pent so different?

What was Jod's plan at Canaan House?

John and Ianthe tread the Eightfold path

The Mithraeum is more than a joke about cows

When was John Gaius born? (And another)

John Gaius and the tragic Orestes

Overthinking the Nine Houses:

'No retainers, no attendants, no domestics'

Funerary customs and the violence of John's silence

Juno Zeta and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad time

The horror of the River bubble

Every instance of 'is this how it happens' in HTN

Feudalism is still shitty even if you make it queer and sex positive

How do stele work?

Thought crime in the Nine Houses

The Houses have a population the size of Canada

What must it be like to fight the Houses?

You know what can't have been fun? Merv wing's megatruck on Varun day...

Augustine's very Catholic hobby (decorating skeletons)

Necromancers are not thin in a conventionally attractive way

Matching the Houses with the planets of the solar system

Why don't the Nine Houses have (consistent) vaccination or varifocals?

How would the Houses react to the deaths at Canaan House?

How does Wake understand her own name (languages over 10,000 years)

What pre-resurrection texts are known in the Houses?

Camilla and Palamedes very Platonic relationship

Overthinking House religion:

What do the Houses believe about death?

Was M's nun a Franciscan?

Cavaliership and arbitrary socio-religious structures

Ritual scarification

Sacraments and sacramentals

What did Silas think god wanted at Canaan House?

In defense of Silas

There's no such thing as a 'good' necro/cav relationship

Veiling and shaving in Ninth House cult practice

Tongue-in-cheek thoughts on Eighth and Sixth religion

A very long deep-dive on House belief and practice

Overthinking Harrowhark Nonagesimus:

'The meat of your meat...belonged to god' and 'that is how meat loves meat'

The horror of parental touch: Harrow, John Gaius, and Abigail Pent

Why is Harrow so obsessed with Abigail's hands?

Frontline Titties of the Fifth and transgressive necro/cav relationships

Harrow, Wake, and permeability of the soul in HTN

Bible studies for weird queer necromancers:

Epiphany: revealing god's child to the wider world

The Holy Innocents and the creche massacre

The Virgin Mary and Commander Wake

John Gaius and John the Baptist

What's the significance of Paul?

[scionofurza411]

I might add the topic of how much permeability of the soul has effected Harrow and Griddle, and what it has and hasn't caused.

[indigonite]

I bet you love eating junk food and playing classic games too, Kim

[commander-krios]

Bg3 + Text Posts (companion edition part 1)