Advice Without Fail* From The Midnight Mail

Why do you think I was so busy in the luggage van? Obviously serving the morning tea strong to the weak bitches. *Advice may actually fail

[tipsfromtraindad]

You might say that by and large it was me who was in charge of giving good life tips.

So creep into you cosy berths, and pull up your counterpane, I serve up all my advice with no pranks.

[terribly-boring-advice]

Hey there wild child, how have you been doing with practicing your bagpipes? If you need more lessons, let me know. (tipsfromtraindad)

Hey Skimble!

It's going great, actually. I'm learning a bunch of new songs and I think I've mostly got em covered... if I have any questions (which I probably always will, since there's really no learning All Of Bagpipes) I'll let ya know!

[tipsfromtraindad]

Excellent! You should try those new songs out on some fresh ears next time Munk is making some important speech.

Maybe I should give another jellicle their own set of bagpipes as well. It must be lonely being the only one playing. Any ideas?

[terribly-boring-advice]

Well... I've been meaning to ask Jemima if she's interested, but I kind of want to teach her. You know.

Ask Etcetera she'd be ECSTATIC.

[tipsfromtraindad]

I will definitely ask Etcetera, but careful what you wish for. I know it may be hard to believe, but she has been begging me to teach her so that she could try to impress you with her new skills.

I bet she has wonderful breathing control given how much she can scream.

[terribly-boring-advice]

Hey there wild child, how have you been doing with practicing your bagpipes? If you need more lessons, let me know. (tipsfromtraindad)

Hey Skimble!

It's going great, actually. I'm learning a bunch of new songs and I think I've mostly got em covered... if I have any questions (which I probably always will, since there's really no learning All Of Bagpipes) I'll let ya know!

[tipsfromtraindad]

Excellent! You should try those new songs out on some fresh ears next time Munk is making some important speech.

Maybe I should give another jellicle their own set of bagpipes as well. It must be lonely being the only one playing. Any ideas?

[rumpleteazershelpfulanswers]

terribly-boring-advice​:

I’m kinda surprised you don’t

I don’t trust him with anything for shit, someone older than us would probably know because I guarantee half of them did drugs at our age

Like Jelly probably knows, or Skimble. They’re the most likely to tell you anyway

Yeah, uh, maybe let’s not ask my dad for cocaine. He’s absolutely snorted nose candy before but he ends every story about it by tellin’ me if I do cocaine I’ll die so I don’t think he’d be too happy about that. And I don’t think he’d believe us if we told him it was just to catch eels

Let’s just ask Jelly

[terribly-boring-advice]

Jelly is very cool she’ll help us

And he never died so smells like bullshit to me just sayin

[rumpleteazershelpfulanswers]

HEY. My dad does NOT lie to me. If he says I’m gonna die then I’m gonna die! 

Wait- okay no he lied about Santa Claws but that was one time 

[tipsfromtraindad]

I promise you Teazer that once when I did cocaine I was so out of my mind that I swear to you I was dating Munkustrap, and I had bright red pants on? I also remember having a wicked moustache, do not know what that was about, but I sort of dug it.

For some reason, the jellicles were all dancing and singing on the tracks, but we were sooo small, and then all the sudden we were on a train I have never been on before in my life, but like, not really? Before I knew it, I was spinning triumphantly into the air, but then the trip just ended.

It was like a magical phantasmagoria. You would not be able to handle it without accidentally killing yourself.

And hey, listen, I am sorry for lying about Santa Claws when you were young. You were always so excited to get gifts instead of, you know, stealing things from others.

[mspaintjellicles]

[tipsfromtraindad]

I wear them over all four legs for Jenny and Asparagus only.

[mspaintjellicles]