welcom to my fukc house!!!!!!! >:D

(An ask blog for Roxy Lalonde from Homestuck.)

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

oh fuckig come oooooon you were just wroking a second agooooo uuuugh why ygotta do this to me

i stg im gonna fucken brrek this compy if it doesn-

:o

oh fuck YEEEEES THATS HWO ITS FUCKIFN DONE BABIE!!! I AM A COMPUTER WIZOOOOOOOORD!!!!!

n e wais haiiiiiii im roxy :3 i made this bog cus i was super board lol *blog, LOL no swmamps here.... no bugs!! but ye, send me n ask anythign!

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

hi dirk! imagine you are in a room quickly filling up with water. in a cage on your left is cal. on the right is roxy. no matter what you do the auto responder will survive btw. what is your plan?

Mmmm. That's a real tough one.

Out of the options I've been given, the best possible one here would be-

*KSST*

AHGH. hah. okya. were badck.

[ROXY LALONDE is now re-available for asks.] [DIRK STRIDER is no longer available for asks.]

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

JAKE: Oh!! Hi there dirk! Hope all these ravenous askers arent bothering you too much aha. I suppose i should ask something too, err *fiddles with collar* whos your favorite actor? :b

(@golgothaskterror)

Oh.

Well, hello to you too, English. And no, they haven't. I've seen the entire internet over the course of 200 years, I know what to expect from people, and have prepped accordingly. Despite me being the question asker on such short notice.

And, to answer your question, I am still of the highly held belief that Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson's performances as Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff respectively, in the SBAHJ movie, are some of the most important and impactful actors for the role they were given.

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

Dirk: How's life out there? And what do you usually eat?

How's life?

Well, life's going pretty fucking spiffy, I'd say.

...Apart from the lack of basic healthcare and human necessities I'm deprived of for most of the day...

...The day to day need to scavenge endlessly under the ruins of Austin...

...And, the... the Batterwitch drones every now and then and having to consistently fight them off...

...

I also like largemouth bass.

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

so dirk, watcha wearing?

Oh, this? This is just my old tube-top. I'm just wearing it while my t-shirt dries out, and because my tank top... got uh...

...

...Nevermind.

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

Hello Dirk. How Are You Taking This Unpredicted Sequence Of Events?

@badlydrawnkanaya

i-

*sigh*

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

hello dirkington! what’s the most superior Rainbow Dash ship in your opinion? purrsonally, i’m a fan of flutterdash, but i’m a fan of appledash as well :o3

Rainbow Dash has two front hooves. Next question.

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

for dirk: Hey man. Why are you like that

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

Hey dork, have you ever touched grass before?

Whatever this "epic own" you thought of was, it doesn't even fucking work because I live in the middle of the ocean. Are you aware of where me and Roxy live? Has she not made it clear that seaweed and sand don't count as grass?

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

roxyyyy hows dirk doing?:)

idk!!! how abt we go ask him >:)

booop be doop be doo

Yo.

HAAAAAI distri!!!!! hoe we hanngig...

I'm currently hanging like some dude who has a perfect grip on a weirdly bright colored ledge in some shitty ass platformer game sidling along. Which is to say I'm, as per usual, chill as all fuck. Though, what's with the video call? Usually when you do a spur of the moment call you're either drunk, bored, or both. What's up?

oh yknow. things n stuff

Descriptive.

shush lil man im getit 2 it * getting lol sooooo u kno that lil ask thingy i started up recentlky

Yeah, I've been seeing it happen on the Grumblr archives. Did something happen with it?

well some things R happenin.....

Spill.

i got n ask recnetly.... and they asked specifically how u were doin

...What?

yea dude!!

They asked for me.

ye

On your askblog.

yarp

Well, question asker, I gotta get one thing across for you. Sorry in advance if I sound like I'm going for your jugular right now- (here it coms)

-But despite your probable thinking, I don't not have an askblog because I might think it's "too lame" or whatever. Askblogs are fucking dope as hell and I've had my fair share of them in the past. Unless this is all just a wild assumption that I'm doing on you, which is probably the case, and for that I'm sorry about mansplaining how I'm totally not weirdly masculine about doing random shit on Grumblr. Even then, though, I don't really have one for a reason. And that reason is that I kind of like to keep my shit inside my group of friends. Airing out personal shit like this is how like... people got cancelled over dumb shit before the world ended. Because I'm a notorious dumb shit speaker. I'm joking, of course. I just have a horrifying fear of being known by anything I do not know first.

And another thing, it's-

[CRASH]

ooooh shit

Rox? You okay? Something fall?

uhhhhHHHHANGONONESECDIRKGTGDOSOMETHING UUHUHH

What?? Roxy?? Hello????

.....The camera's still on. Shit.

[DIRK STRIDER IS NOW OPEN FOR ASKS]

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

Knock knock!

It's one of your neighbours! He's holding a bowl of soup!

It's for you!

yoooo WHAAAT thx so much you lil guy..... das so sweet o u....

man im hungry as phuck n e waiz iver been reallly wantin t eat smth nice s-

.

You have no fucking idea what you're looking at right now. You wouldn't even eat this as a hangover meal. Who *could* even eat this?? It is barely edible.

well. its. never boring!!

[golgothaskterror]

????: Oh gosh darn it, hang on a moment

????: Ah! Thats the ticket.

JAKE: Howdy-doodly! The names ENGLISH, JAKE ENGLISH, and im here to answer your most burning questions! JAKE: Or at least thats what i THINK the purpose of this particular method of communication entails....

JAKE: Regardless im more than happy to feel a bit more connected to the world even if it seems somewhat onesided. Say hi! That little handy dandy ask box should be wide open for business

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

heyyyyy my bestie jake is doing this too!!!!! go follow heem <|:38 <-- wazard cat with big natuals LOL

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

hows mr england?

ooooo jakey? hes pretty danm good!! or "swell" as hed say it LOL

byeah like distri tho hes a little bit of a case himslef. not in a bad way hes jjst got a buncha crap goin on

i meen it goes without sayign that hes a huuuuuge fuckin dork LMAO (slash pee oh ess) liek have a signle movie night with this guy and youkl see what i mean

... but its rlly whats so different abt him thst makes him so cool to b around! once u start 2 get to kno the stuff jakey throws at u you learn how great of a person he is to be around

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

hey roxy check this oute hands u a buge

buge...................................

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

🧙🧙‍♀️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♀️🧙🧙🧙‍♀️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♀️🧙🧙🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♀️🧙🧙🧙‍♀️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♀️🧙🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♀️🧙🧙‍♀️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♀️🧙‍♀️🧙‍♀️🧙‍♀️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♀️🧙‍♀️🧙‍♀️🧙‍♀️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♀️🧙‍♀️🧙🧙🧙‍♂️🧙🧙‍♀️🧙‍♂️🧙🧙‍♂️🧙🧙‍♀️🧙‍♀️🧙‍♀️🧙🧙🧙‍♀️🧙‍♀️🧙‍♀️🧙‍♀️🧙🧙

TEN THOUSAND WIZARDS ATTACK

AAAAAAAAAEERRRRRRRHGHGHGHHHHH

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

Opion on Dirk strider

oh booooy here we go

whaaaaat can you say abt di stri. a lot actually LOl out of all the people i kno (which isdnt many) hges absolutely the...... weridest tio say the least hes liek that one stray cat that like follows around someone @ like. a bodega or smth. hes got thaty mysticue

butt also like...... its not alwahs in th beeest way. lke i get messages from janey andjake sometims bein like "hey why is dirk bein all weird whats goin on" and i gotta explain that hes just kinda like that a ot and its just.

. . .

...but hes still a good guy despite the. Issues:tm:.

i mean. we babsically grew up 2gether

[tipsygnostalgicasks]

ever done messed-up science

i wouldnt sya messed up buuuuuuuut........ i do do some science :3 hehe. i said doodoo