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@tira-yelitza
Iām out here living my best life, took a career break to travel the Netherlands for 3 months and live with my partner.
Iām freelancing part-time so thereās some income but tbh I need more money so Iām looking for a full-time job atm.
I drink wine almost daily because the Dutch have wine with nearly every meal (lunch and dinner). I LOVE their cheese, chocolates, fries, beers, milk and fish.
Stay tuned for updates! Iāve already been here for 3 weeks and can safely say my mental health has VASTLY improved since I was in Malaysia.
My Love
what is it I give you
that makes you love me so much
i donāt know what i did
to deserve you
you give me more
than words can ever truly capture
you give me strength
you give me courage
you give me stability
you give me light
you give me freedom
you give me love
so so much love
and so much more
than what has been written
so I will spend a lifetime
trying to write it all down
LDR things
the things you say
when weāre alone at night
when weāre tangled in sheets
when the stars are so bright
the things you whisper
when weāre out at dinner
when weāre with our friends
when the moon is thinner
the things you yell
when weāre laughing out loud
when weāre having tickle fights
when the world has no sound
the things you promise
when weāre planning our visits
when weāre dreaming of adventures
when weāre verbalising our wishes
R E S T L E S S
i feel it rustling inside me
underneath my skin
underneath my muscle
underneath my bone
a sizzling undercurrent of pure energy
twisting
unraveling
coiled
ready to strike
it feels like purple lightning
coursing through my narrow veins
purple energy vibrating
through my very blood & bone
time
sheās always there
ticking and tocking
beeping steadily
throughout the day
every second
of every minute
of every day
the clock hands move
inching forward
never stopping
never pausing
tick, tock
tick, tock
tick, tock
goes the grandmother clock
Moon sign confessions
Aries moon: I feel too much that it makes me infuriated. I may come across arrogant but in reality I am the most sensitive in the room. Please be patient with me and I can give you everything youāve ever wanted.
Taurus moon: Deep down i am scared of most things and I cling to anything that makes me feel safe. I hate it when people rush me as it makes me feel insignificant. I am only stubborn to protect myself.
Gemini moon: People assume I am shallow and take nothing seriously. You donāt see the times when I am alone and I break down my barriers where no one can see me. I am capable of feeling a multitude of emotions simultaneously and it scares me to the point of numbness. I donāt choose to be ātoo muchā.
Cancer moon: I am very ambitious but self-protective. I feel everything so deeply that sometimes I feel like the world was not meant for me. But donāt assume I am weak; I am an extremely strong individual and can endure the most emotional torment.
Leo moon: I am sick of being the brave one. I am tired of being the strong friend everybody goes to...I am a human being like everybody else so donāt look at me strangely when I want to be vulnerable and understand that vulnerability is hard for me.
Virgo moon: High standards and inner rules dominate my life. I hold myself to extraordinarily high standards and when I donāt reach them I fall apart. Please donāt joke about my inner rules as it is one of the only things I believe in.
Libra moon: I want to put myself first and my thoughts to the forefront of my mind. All my life I have put others first and on a pedestal; do you think it would be okay to put myself first once in a while?
Scorpio moon: I donāt trust myself easily. I know the darkness that lives inside people and I know how easy it can be to access this. I go through life with emotional third-degree burns and people have the audacity to tell me Iām over-sensitive: I cannot help the way I feel.
Sagittarius moon: Nothing is good enough for me. I seem to spend my life chasing things and then throwing them away when Iām bored. For once in my life I would like something to hold my attention for more than a minute. I want to feel worthwhile enough to make something or someone stay.
Capricorn moon: I wish I could feel less responsible for the world but I canāt help wanting to fix everything. I am not patronising, I just want to help. People assume I am uptight but the truth is I help people more than anyone else and I want to help society be as successful as it can be.
Aquarius moon: Overthinking is the bane of my life. For once I would like to feel things without asking myself: āis this the right or wrong way to feel?ā I am exhausted emotionally and I am envious of people who are impetuous risk-takers. It takes so much for me to make a decision as I am aware of the effects of all the possible outcomes.
Pisces moon: The world is too linear and cynical for me. I donāt think the way most people do and spirituality is important to me. I am tired of people laughing at the way I live my life and for once I would like the world to be open-minded...I donāt think that itās too much to ask.
September Lessons š
Aries: breathe in the fresh air and remember you donāt always have to be grinding in order to be successful. take things in.
Taurus: be aware of how others make you feel and act accordingly. donāt hang onto people just for the fact that youāve known them a long time. hold onto those who make you feel good.
Gemini: release yourself from guilt. whatever happened in the past, happened. it only causes issues to be so hard on yourself about it.
Cancer: donāt be afraid to tell people when they have hurt your feelings. you deserve to voice when something has upset you, not hoard it inside.
Leo: remember that you always have what it takes, donāt let your mind play tricks on you.
Virgo: be a bitch when you have to be a bitch and donāt feel bad about it. you canāt let people walk all over you, you are your own priority and own loyalty.
Libra: you canāt be everywhere all the time, and itās in your best interest to put self care first. you donāt want yourself to get burnt out all the time.
Scorpio: it is not weak to open yourself up to people. wanting connection is a human instinct and you donāt have to be so careful 24/7.
Sagittarius: no matter what anybody says, being intense is a blessing. anyone who makes you feel bad about that doesnāt appreciate you.
Capricorn: remember that you can change what you donāt like, not everything has to be the same all the time. you can become a completely different person if you really want to.
Aquarius: itās okay to be busy, itās okay to not have time for everyone. anybody who makes you feel bad for that isnāt worth having around. you are doing the best you can.
Pisces: love yourself, even when you think you donāt deserve it. you have to. you have to be your own best friend.
āYour beliefs donāt make you a better person. Your behavior does.ā
ā Sukhraj Dhillon
Please send help
Entry 5: Resilience
New blog post! Entry No. 5: Resilience and what it means to me
During the coronavirus pandemic we have been asked to stay resilient and are expected to continue work and school as if nothing happened, since we have to continue to be productive, otherwise our financial and political systems will eventually crash. In what ways could we be resistant?
Resistant = Resilient. I found this question thought-provoking and I felt compelled to answer it in this blog.
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The Weight of Expectations
The Weight ofĀ Expectations
For my whole life, Iāve had to be an example, a role model, to my younger siblings and cousins. Being the eldest in the family comes with its own responsibility, but so does being the mediator in a family filled with some hot heads.
Children learn to be an empath from having to soak up their parents emotions when young, in order to anticipate their mood and act accordingly.
If someone isā¦
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Thought Of The Day
When I was 10, I was told that I was too bossy and should tone it down because āguys donāt like girls that are bossyā. I wasnāt ātoo bossyā, I was being assertive and exemplified leadership skills as a child by delegating tasks in group projects etc (effectively taking the leader role).
When I was 12, I was told that I shouldnāt wear shorts in Malaysia because āmen will look at you and feelā¦
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Entry 2: Tough decision to stay when asked to leave
As a foreign exchange student, I am enrolled only for one semester here in the Netherlands until Summer 2020 (planned to stay till August 2020).
My boyfriend is Dutch and lives here, hence my decision to study abroad for a semester. We did long distance for one year from February 2019 ā February 2020. His nameās Geoff š
I woke up yesterday morning (Thursday, 19 March) to two emails from myā¦
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