someone remind me of my tea

yes hello I'm Alyssa and I'll probably die from being to lazy to breathe

[loqueesha]

Yall are actually hospitable to y'alls hookups??? I never even let mine use the bathroom with the door closed. I’ll be damned if I let a fag steal my $30 vitamin C serum.

[votee-for-pedro]

either that or take them to a p*rk in the d*rk sis 🌃🌙👀

And have mosquito bites on my taint??? No thanks

[yung-starbucks-deactivated20210]

Idk maybe because I’m from Florida… but I can’t nut unless there’s mosquitos succin on my gouché 😌

Idk why God keeps letting you survive hurricane szn

[navigaero]

those mosquitos letting my hole HAVE it

[im-the-batmann]

[thickness-protection-program]

Malaria looking at y'all’s mosqussies like

Mosqussies??? Excuse me?!

[thickness-protection-program]

[that-twink-over-there]

[c-bassmeow]

[king-ramsesiii]

Honey baby darling this was a mess from start to finish

[homopower]

[random-senpai]

[surprisebitch]

#this post almost made me straight good loooordt

[frodobaggage]

[stimman4000]

.

[drinkyourjuiceshelby]

Slurp

[faketop-deactivated20201219]

hole tightening juice

[homofied]

[concealedblade-deactivated20210]

let bottoms paint

nevermind!

[bitchywerewolfparty]

[italkallthetime]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[crookedcatperson-deactivated202]

Gays:

[neofooturism]

[electronegasteve]

[astrobro]

It’s the PHEROMONES

[doggosource]

[adulthoodisokay]

absolute unit

[spideylilparker]

Current Quarantine Mood

[angelbunniies]

[finnwolfhards]

this is superior humor

[limit]

I’m not the type of girl anybody wants to be with. My body takes up too much space and I laugh too loudly for too long and I shout when other people are quiet and when I’m drunk I type in caps and I always wanted to be mysterious and beautiful and untouchable like other girls but if you ask I will give you everything and I fucking despise that

[utopia821]

youre the type of person i want to be with. your body is comforting and familiar and your laugh is contagious and your smile is breath taking and when youre excited your voice raises and it lights a little warmth in me and when youre drunk you can be sad and nostalgic and youre a nerd and youre awkward and clumsy and afraid of commitment but when i ask how long you want me for, you say. “as long as you do” and i want to give you everything and i freaking love you

[catchymemes]

[windownecromancy]

What fucking witchcraft is this 😂

[mxtomituck]

[tdwhisperer]

[moomoobooboo-deactivated2020102]

The hell I will!

[schrodingersincest]

[patrickvaill]

If you don’t propose with this don’t fuckin bother

[arandomthot]

Also a plague going around

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

[catchymemes]

[nopanamaman]

a

[zerodarkwolf]

im so glad i graduated

[misfit-toy-haven]

this is a fucking masterpiece

[bransonreese]

[notcaycepollard]

the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:

[serpentking456]

Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how “smooth” sharks really are.

[bransonreese]

Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.

[severepaperhideout-deactivated2]

But buddy.

Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the shark swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough like sandpaper.

((Here m8 https://www.floridamuseum.ufl.edu/fish/discover/sharks/basics ))

[bransonreese]

Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?

[slangwang]

this post is transcendent

[aurora-gleam]

You’re thinking of dolphins. Dolphins are the ones with smooth skin that feels like a rubber beach ball.

Source: I’M A MARINE BIOLOGIST

[bransonreese]

No, I’m thinking of sharks.

Source: I’m a superior marine biologist

[kakyoiniisms]

[catchymemes]

Dutch King shares funny video with Dutch Prime Minister during Trump speech at UN

[naomster]

me and my buddy at the back of the classroom when the annoying kid is doing a presentation