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#areuhappyyet

I want to scream but it won’t come out. I feel like I’m vibrating, like my insides want to be my outsides. I feel terrified but not. If what I have now remains the status quo until I take my last breath I will be content. It is change, the unknown and the what-ifs that are making me hyper-ventilate. Outside I am calm and unaffected. Inside I have exploded into a million pieces. Still astounded and devastated that you have erased us, me, our, the life we had for 26 years. You have turned your back like it never happened, like I don’t matter. You dont care what happens to me. You have moved on to whatever, whoever.

I’m broken. I want you to acknowledge my pain, your crime. You are the most evil man I know. You’ve hurt me more deeply than anyone ever has. I want you to feel pain. I want you to gasp for air because you have been gut-punched. I want everything you have ever known to be a lie. I want all that you love and care about to be slaughtered in an instant. I want your entire world to be brought crashing down around you by a thoughtless cowardly text message. I want, for one second, for you to be me.

#areyouhappyyet