mily.

❛ she/her | 21 ! ༉‧₊˚

[milaeth]

୨୧┊𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐓.

ꖛ ─ REQUESTS ARE OPEN

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[estpolynesianmary]

when you're dickstupid so you follow the guy into a creepy basement/crawl space/lair

[synthesixia]

like?? dude kills your best friend, your girlfriend and then orchestrates his parents' deaths in front of you, but you're too dickmatized

[milaeth]

ALLEGEDLY has one of the highest academic records in the country btw…. he either lying or he really is the biggest bird😭😭

[sweetoneiros]

i don’t know if my beloved @theoryofwhatnow ever posted this on here so i’m gonna share it.

pardon the quality - i did try to enhance it, but it made the audio go janky so just left as is.

LIKE MINDS DELETED SCENE:

[synthesixia]

the professor saying "seems like we've got some healthy competition for you this year, mr. forbes" while handing him a paper with 96% on it.

then he walks over to nigel and says "excellent work, mr. colbie" and he gets 98%... THE BUZZ?!?!??

[milaeth]

teacher just messy as hell for no reason😭🙏🏻🙏🏻

[milaeth]

"The last time that you touched me."

And it's Nigel pulling Alex toward him.

Not away. Not letting go. Pulling him into his space and wrenching him off the tracks as the train moves towards him. Nigel's attention has always been possessive like that. Every expression of it has carried within it the desperate desire to close the distance between them—to blur the line separating Alex from Nigel until the two exist not as opposites, but as parts of the same whole.

And he’s finally achieved just that: Alex is finally his Jack—the proof that what they share will outlive death itself. The eternity Nigel spent so long pursuing is finally within his grasp.

But somewhere along the way, eternity ceased to be the only thing he wanted. Now there is Alex himself. Not merely as his Jack, but as the man Nigel still believes could choose him. A partner in crime. An equal. Someone who might one day stop running and stand beside him willingly. Perhaps there could be a future in which they build something together instead of endlessly circling one another as hunter and quarry.

That is why this matters so much. To pull Alex away from death is, however briefly, to keep him. For as long as Alex is alive, there is still time. Time to persuade him. Time to make him understand. Time to convince him that the life Nigel imagines for them is still possible. And so he pulls him closer, off the tracks—not only to save the life that obtains the promise of eternity, but to preserve the future that Nigel still refuses to surrender.

“The last time that you touched me.”

And it's Alex pushing Nigel away.

Even with a train only seconds from impact, Alex never truly yields to Nigel’s grip. He fights it from the very beginning, resisting the pull and refusing to be drawn towards Nigel even as he is trying to save his life. You can even see Alex struggling to stay on the tracks for a second until Nigel manages to forcefully drag him off.

That resistance to Nigel's proximity feels almost instinctive—as though Alex's body recoils before his mind has time to catch up. Because accepting Nigel's salvation would also mean accepting, however briefly, Nigel's hold over him. And that is the one thing Alex has spent the entire film refusing.

Pride, defiance, control—whatever name you give it, Alex would rather face the worst possible ending than surrender himself to Nigel completely. And the second they are clear of the tracks, his first instinct is to tear himself out of Nigel's orbit as violently as he can. He shoves Nigel away, making him fall to the ground as he wrenches the gun out of his hand—and in doing so, rejects him one last time.

And perhaps that final rejection is the moment something inside Nigel finally breaks.

Lying on the ground after Alex has shoved him, watching the gun now resting securely in Alex's hands, perhaps Nigel finally confronts the truth he has spent the entire movie refusing to accept: there has never been a version of this story in which Alex stays.

Not because Nigel has failed to prove the depth of his devotion. Not because he has been unwilling to sacrifice enough. But because the future Nigel has been fighting for has always existed in only one imagination. His own.

In the past, Nigel would speak of it as though it’s inevitable, as though time itself would eventually bring Alex around. If only Alex understood. If only he stopped resisting. If only he could see what Nigel sees. But Alex has never fully shared that vision.

And once the realization arrives that Nigel's dream has never truly existed outside of himself—what is left?

What becomes of a life that has been built around a future another person never wanted? What remains when the purpose that has justified every obsession, every crime, every sacrifice dissolves in an instant?

Nigel's dream used to be immortality for its own sake. But with time, it turned into eternity with Alex.

And so, if Alex will never stand beside him—if even salvation earns only another rejection—then the future Nigel has devoted himself to has already ceased to exist. There is nothing left to wait for, nothing left to persuade, nothing left to build. Perhaps, then, eternity becomes the only thing still promised to him. After all, Nigel has already succeeded in getting what he initially wanted. And whether he lives or dies now does not change that outcome.

So, when Nigel reaches for the gun, its barrel already resting against his own face, Alex never has or gets to make the choice for him. Nigel pulls the trigger himself. And isn’t that Ironic—how the final act of control belongs not to Alex, but to Nigel himself?

[milaeth]

I can’t stop thinking about these forbie fanfiction concepts:

Ghost AU wherein Alex actually murders Nigel and buries him under his house—only for Nigel to return as a ghost and haunt him constantly, claiming that Alex is the keeper of his soul who must resurrect him if he ever wants peace. Except Nigel isn't a ghost and Alex is just going crazy from guilt/psychosis. BUT what if the dark resurrection ritual ‘ghost’-nigel convinced him to do... actually works?

‘Bones and All’ AU wherein Alex is a newly awakened Eater thrown into this terrifying world, forced to stick with Nigel—the first other Eater he comes across. Alex hates his guts but they're undeniably effective together. That is until he meets Susan, falls in love with her, and tells Nigel that he’s done roaming the country. Except Nigel doesn't do "sharing," and he certainly doesn't do losing things that he considers his…

‘Obsession’ AU wherein Josh snaps a one-wish willow branch during a hangout and jokingly wishes for Nigel to love Alex more than anyone in the entire world (just to mess with Alex, knowing how much he despises his new roommate). Everyone laughs it off... until Alex walks back to his dorm room that night and realizes Nigel is suddenly acting very different…

Would any of you be actually interested in reading any of these fics?

[milaeth]

#3 | "LIKE MINDS" (2006) memes

[milaeth]

I JUST MADE SOME BULLSHITTT🗣️🗣️🙏🏻🙏🏻

[milaeth]

I like to think that whenever Alex felt a hint of bi-curious attraction toward Nigel (a confusion that obviously mixed with his already existing & volatile rage), he immediately tried to beat it out of himself by punching Nigel.

Like a frantic act of suppression—converting an unbearable, unfamiliar intimacy into socially permissible rage and violence.

And even if those violent outbursts were first and foremost born from genuine anger, the aftertaste of Alex’s internalized homophobia still remains in my opinion.

[certainlyaknight]

[oakpot]

Did you guys also notice how (and correct me if i am wrong) Alex Forbes didn't cry when Nigel Colbie killed Josh Campbell?

Alex didn't cry when Nigel killed Susan either, although he did get pissed off.

But he did cry when Nigel died in front of him.

He sobbed as he held him, dead in his lap. He kept caressing him also.

[ruuminant]

I've yet to see a post talking about just how flirty Nigel was in this scene. The way he uses the sword to caress Alex without physically touching him, slowly dragging it down his back when he turns away from Nigel.. Along with this, just the way he calls Alex "Jack" was insanely flirty, his tone is so playful during this scene it drives me crazy

[milaeth]

𝜗ৎ ˚⋅ susan mueller edit ✴︎

made by milaeth

The entitlement of men who play at being gods always demands a softer thing to bleed.

[synthesixia]

if you hate on my girl susan mueller to uplift alex & nigel as a ship, go ahead and lock your doors tonight.

[milaeth]

#2 | "LIKE MINDS" (2006) memes

[whatarewedoingdude]

WAS IT FUCKING CASUAL?????😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[hellholediaries]

"funny how gentle people get with you once you're dead." – sunset boulevard (1950)

[milaeth]

this fandom is a fucking prison.

[krakqet]

[milaeth]

same vibes😭🙏🏻