So you do want the tittytwister?

[roughentumble]

my friend just told me that there's a secret second dashboard that solely contains posts from people you've turned on post notifications for, and when i click the link in the messages it opens it within the tumblr app, so the tumblr app also has a secret second dashboard for post notification blogs, and the only way to access it is to open the link for it within the app.

i literally love tumblr

[nightpool]

i have a private pinned post that just has a link to this dashboard on it, it's great. two dashboards for life

[cyle]

wow! i was really hoping someone would organically reverse-engineer this and find that dash.

here are a few other "secret" dashboards:

Posts from your "crushes"

"What you missed" (will be empty if you already visit Tumblr every day)

"Trending"

these are all just taking existing feeds of content and putting them in a dashboard-like format... the "Stuff for you" tab/feed is the same idea.

[everythingfox]

Let the baby in

[heavensickness]

Magnolias are so ancient plants that almost every other plant and insect who came to being around the same time as them has gone extinct by now. They are the loneliest plants in this world. Does anybody understand how much grief it gives me that the symbolic flower of Kuras is magnolia.

[blairwitchapologist]

may i please direct your attention to the poem dinosaurs smelled magnolias by dalton day!!!!!

[a-book-of-creatures]

[ithelpstodream]

[enfranchisement]

[onethousandrbirds]

happy anniversary 

[joepieweed]

Being ugly is not an excuse. Most people are ugly. I’ve fucked ugly people and they weren’t virgins. They were whores. All things considered there probably is someone 5 minutes away dying to fuck you.

[baryunn]

not an excuse for what

[datadegroove-deactivated2026042]

for not voting

[ecchifortheplot]

[sindri42]

Context:

The lady is a succubus, which in this setting is mostly human but with superpowered pheromones that passively make humans aroused just by being in the same room and essentially drug people out of their minds if she touches them directly. [The effect is so strong that there’s an entire government agency devoted to observing (from a long distance) all known succubi to make sure they aren’t starting suicide cults or going on murder-rape binges or whatever.] This causes her a variety of problems in life; she has to get up extremely early and stay at work late to take mostly-empty trains in order to avoid being in a crowded metal box full of humans, for example. But worst is her nonexistent love life, because how can you ever be confident that somebody has genuine romantic feelings for you if you’re supernaturally attractive to everybody? Is it ever morally acceptable to have sex if holding hands is effectively a date-rape drug? 

The guy is a perfectly ordinary biology teacher, who crashed into her in the halls on his first day and got a huge dose of aphrodisiac. But she is a Respected Colleague so it would be Highly Unprofessional to think of her that way, not to mention how Inappropriate it would be for a high school teacher to do or say anything while there might be students around, and wait a minute wouldn’t treating her differently just because of her biology be Super Racist? so obviously it is his Duty to act Perfectly Normal and pretend that he Feels Nothing.

She sees that he seems to have no reaction, and this sparks her interest. Is he immune to her powers? Clearly this requires further investigation! For entirely scientific purposes, not because if he falls for her he’d be the first guy she could trust to do so for legitimate non-chemical reasons (and totally not because she might be able to bone him without feeling bad about it).

So you’ve got the world’s dorkiest succubus clumsily trying to seduce this guy and he’s trying very hard to drink enough Respect Women juice to make up for over half his blood travelling south every time he sees her. Then for added fun several of their students catch on to these shenanigans and they ship it so they decide to “help”.

[switch-up-snowfox]

you know I can respect that premise.

[pollen-over-ponds]

I really love the anime this is from, too! Interviews with monster girls. It deals with monsters in every day life, in a realistic way where they have physical challenges living in a world that isn’t designed for them, and face a lot of discrimination and misunderstanding socially. A few monsters find each other in a high school and become great friends who have different challenges (different types of monsters), but understand and support each other. The Biology teacher is interested in what their life is like and is trying to learn more about them by talking to them.

[memeuplift]

[animepopheart]

★ 【Sheya】 「 ☀ 」 ☆ ✔ republished w/permission ⊳ ⊳ follow me! insta • x • bsky

[frontmansdefender]

Dude’s a legend

[lesbutcher]

Damn. I want to have a sex🧍‍♀️

[lesbutcher]

This is what some of the “hard kink” posts that cross my dash look like though and it’s sad

[ttttherian]

nah its more like Damn. I want to have a sex🧍‍♀️

[stripedpaws]

When he fucks me 🥵🥵🥵

[screenshotsofdespair]

[thememedaddy]

[afeelgoodblog]

[animepopheart]

★ 【AL光】 「 ZZZ 」 ☆ ✔ republished w/permission ⊳ ⊳ follow me! insta • x • bsky

[cannibalchicken]

[thagomizersshow]

You ever think about how weird hippos are ecologically speaking?

There's literally no other megafauna on earth that spends the entire day lounging around in water, mostly just socializing, only to come onto land to feed at night.

I remember when I used to do education programs on hippos, most people assumed they ate aquatic plants, and that that's the whole reason they were in water. Meanwhile, hippos are basically just giant nocturnal cows that eat only grass.

[weaselle]

most animals that start adapting to live more of their lives in water:

"i must grow my bones lighter and less dense so that i don't get trapped on the bottom and may float easier in this new environment"

hippos: "denser. heavier bones. MOAR dense. Make sink the most."

mother nature: but how will you get off the bottom when you sink?

hippos: Make muscles more too, give all muscle.

mother nature: and to stay warm in the water? a big layer of fat?

hippos: no! no fat only muscle.

mother nature: o....kay. And, you eat aquatic plants, that's why you spend so much time in the water?

hippos: lol no. eat land grass, like cow.

mother nature: i see. right. You eat mostly grass, so, flat grinding teeth?

hippos: hell no. big spike teeth. sharp big teeth. Biggest

mother nature: what, like lions? 3 inch fangs?

hippos: course not. giant fuck-off teeth, 18 inches. Also, not just one pair, three pairs of giant sharp teeth. give

mother nature: but you eat... grass?

hippos: yeah. lol. Sometimes eat a zebra tho. Or a antelope. Maybe eat a crocodile, you don't know. Give all teeth, giant fuck-off teeth. Most bone! most muscle! most teeth! Me.

mother nature: y'know what? fuck it, sure, here you go

hippo: ...

hippo: i'm very angry now

[weaselle]

so idk about layers, and they are not all the same size, but they have three pairs of large sharp teeth on each side of their mouth, or you could say six pairs of ...? anyway they have a bunch of molars you can barely see through the gums, and then they have these teeth:

looks like this in the mouth

so those are their, yeah i guess actually six pair of giant fuck-off teeth

[wumblr]

i'm having the most video game ass problem... mysterious debit card issue where it declines at atms but the banking institution tells me it's not every atm, and they can't seem to find any rhyme or reason to which atms are not working, so if i could call them back and let them know which brands of atms i've tried,

[wumblr]

continuing my other thread of problems for the day, i've been to 5 atms and none of them worked. but purchases still seem to work as i have gotten a fruit juice at the grocery store. so i'm sitting in my car drinking it because i can't go back in with a juice i just bought or else they'll think i'm stealing and i'll have to show them two receipts and it'll be a whole thing. and meanwhile i'm stunned by the input/output of this, like. input one atm network downage, output one ultraprocessed fruit juice reward. it really makes you think