TJ

Music, writing, and other junk. I occasionally exercise: tjemefitness. My gaming shenanigans: tjemegames.

[tjemegames]

This blog is tailored towards dark mode: some visuals may not be visible on white backgrounds.

Hey, y’all. I made this side blog because I wanted a casual space to talk about gacha gaming.

You can call me TJ (they/she)! I’m a long time lover of video games who stumbled into the world of gacha in 2022.

I’m a huge advocate for Honkai: Star Rail! I’m slowly grinding my way through Wuthering Waves. I'm not currently playing Genshin Impact, but I'll likely return in the next couple years if the story grabs me again.

I’ll be posting all sorts of things related to my playthrough experiences within the aforementioned games (primarily HSR since it’s my favorite), as well as any other gachas that I decide to give a try. You can expect to see ramblings about storylines, pull results, gameplay showcases, character builds, fanart reblogs, and more!

This blog is a honestly just a dump site for my gacha-related yapping: a.k.a. my way of saving irl friends from having to listen to me ramble about things they don’t understand/aren’t all that interested in. You should check out my Tag Navigation Masterpost for easier traversal of the place!

I’m also on YouTube now! I created the channel to host videos that are too large for Tumblr; they will always be cross-posted to my blog with whatever additional content/commentary/insight I may have for them. I doubt that I’ll be posting there too often (as of now), but you’re more than welcome to subscribe if you’d like.

If you’re a returning HSR player, please consider using my invitation code when you decide to come back (I’m begging—I need every stellar jade I can get.)

Game UIDs/Friend Codes (always down for more pals to co-op with) and links to my most commonly used tools/resources are under the cut.

Thanks for stopping by!

Game UIDs & Friend Codes

HSR: NA - 600433643 (Dracorian, Main) / EU - 704233421 (Solaria, Standard + Freebies Challenge Alt)

WuWa: NA - 500214126

Genshin: NA - 650062088 (Main) / EU - 751038014 (Alt) *Uninstalled as of May '25, but you can still add me for when I inevitably reinstall

Tools & Resources

HSR

Fribbels Honkai Star Rail Optimizer / Relic Scorer

Prydwen's HSR Characters List (build guides)

StarDB Achievement Tracker

HoYoLAB HSR Leveling Calculator

Star Rail Station Warp Tracker

Seeleland (build leaderboards)

Enka.Network (build cards)

@the-astral-express-archive (transparent assets) *No longer active as of May '25 but still useful for any assets released prior to v3.3

WuWa

Prydwen's WuWa Characters List (build guides)

WuWa Tracker (ascension planning, material and achievement tracking)

WuWa Interactive Map *You'll likely need to use your browser's translation feature since it's fully in Simplified Chinese

Genshin

Enka.Network (build cards)

Akasha System (build leaderboards)

Any text dividers that you see on my blog (that I didn't make myself) were made by the lovely @saradika-graphics. You should check out her blog, she makes tons of cute things that are free to use!

[tjeme218]

Hey, y'all! I know my blog has been rather inactive for a while now, but that's just because l've been keeping more of my personal life to myself these last couple years. I have, however, picked up some new hobbies and one of my main ones now has a space of its own.

If you're a fellow gacha gamer, or are just interested in hearing me yap again, you can go follow me there! I've been having a lot of fun making content and talking about my gaming experiences over on @tjemegames. I figured I should probably drop in here to invite y'all to the party.

Alright, that's all for now. Hope everyone has been doing well and staying safe out there! I'll catch you again whenever the time calls for it.

[tjeme218]

being mentally ill is exhausting

being mentally ill without proper healthcare is exhausting

being mentally ill in a family full of people who think psychiatry is bullshit and that you’re just “being lazy”, “dramatic”, and “making excuses” is exhausting

i’m exhausted

[tjeme218]

how many times is too many times to listen to a new album because i think i listened to Calum Hood’s debut album ORDER chaos ORDER at least 13 times through yesterday? it’s so good, exactly the type of vibe i was expecting out of him and probably my new favorite among all of 5SOS’ solo projects. he did such a good job!

my favorite song is Sunsetter. followed closely by Endless Ways, Sweetdreams, and Don’t Forget You Love Me. honestly the flow between the songs is so seamless that i didn’t even recognize that the album had started over until i was three songs deep into the next listen. a very good time. i sincerely hope that i get the chance to see him live in a solo capacity. 10/10 would listen again—will probably spend a good chunk of today doing precisely that if i’m being completely honest.

now we wait for Mikey’s solo album to come out next month and then all of them will have made their own music. immensely happy for them, it’s great to see their individuality and creativity outside of the band. it’s been quite enlightening; it does make me wonder what their next group album will sound like. 5SOS5 hits so different in comparison to the earlier stuff and is reminiscent of their individual works. i can totally see the bridge between all of their more recent projects and that one, so i’m really excited to see what they do together in the future.

[tjeme218]

yeah I really wasn’t kidding about this. Calum’s album had me in a chokehold like no other

[tjeme218]

reading yaoi at the breakfast table like it’s the morning newspaper

[tjeme218]

how many times is too many times to listen to a new album because i think i listened to Calum Hood’s debut album ORDER chaos ORDER at least 13 times through yesterday? it’s so good, exactly the type of vibe i was expecting out of him and probably my new favorite among all of 5SOS’ solo projects. he did such a good job!

my favorite song is Sunsetter. followed closely by Endless Ways, Sweetdreams, and Don’t Forget You Love Me. honestly the flow between the songs is so seamless that i didn’t even recognize that the album had started over until i was three songs deep into the next listen. a very good time. i sincerely hope that i get the chance to see him live in a solo capacity. 10/10 would listen again—will probably spend a good chunk of today doing precisely that if i’m being completely honest.

now we wait for Mikey’s solo album to come out next month and then all of them will have made their own music. immensely happy for them, it’s great to see their individuality and creativity outside of the band. it’s been quite enlightening; it does make me wonder what their next group album will sound like. 5SOS5 hits so different in comparison to the earlier stuff and is reminiscent of their individual works. i can totally see the bridge between all of their more recent projects and that one, so i’m really excited to see what they do together in the future.

[tjeme218]

27 has been so incredibly stressful so far. and now there’s a possibility that i might have cancer… cannot catch a break for the life of me

[tjeme218]

the thing that i dislike the most about this process (finding out what the fuck is wrong with me) is all the waiting around for appointments. every day that this drags on another stronghold of my mental defenses goes up in flames. it’s been months now and there’s been barely any forward progress; i just keep getting shuffled around to new offices—if i have to fill out one more set of new patient forms i might actually lose my mind. and don’t even get me started on trying to do any of this without insurance… i’m so fucking tired, man

[tjeme218]

when stress borders on overwhelming me, i cut my hair

it’s of no consequence, i haven’t cared to have it in over a decade

my last line of defense to stave off the madness,

the all encapsulating blackness—darkness that loiters along the borders my sanity

watching, waiting, prowling for the chance to creep back in

to take root through teeth and claws

puncturing and tearing its way into the deepest recesses of my fractured being

i wonder when the shredding will become too much

if there will come a point where i can’t stitch my wounds back together

a point when i can’t hide the patchwork behind placating smiles

when nonsensical ramblings over things that don’t matter won’t be enough of a distraction

if i can continue to exist in a state of retraction…

[tjeme218]

27 has been so incredibly stressful so far. and now there’s a possibility that i might have cancer… cannot catch a break for the life of me

[shyguythemasquerage]

I don't know if this will find the people it needs to, but survive. Find your sparks of joy and hold them tight. If nothing else, let spite and defiance keep you going. You are stronger than you know. I love you.

[tjeme218]

the actual looming dread that rests in the pit of my stomach as i ponder what the next four years will bring is just sigh

like fuck man, i’m so tired of this shit. it’s like the feelings i had in 2016 have multiplied tenfold and i’m genuinely nauseous and itchy at the thought of it all

fucking hell

[tjeme218]

i’m halfway through The Great Impersonator and i’m already wrecked. fuck. it’s raw, tortured, unapologetically honest, and so beautifully tragic all at the same time. like i can feel this album in my bones, i cannot put all my thoughts into words right now but goddamn. i’m so so so fucking mad at myself for missing the ticket deadline for the austin album release show. my girlfriend and her sister better enjoy the hell out of the show for me because i’m absolutely going to regret missing it for a very, very long time.

@tiredandlonelymuse, thank you for being everything that you are. sincerely wishing you so much love, peace, and alleviation from the constant pain that you deal with on the daily 💚

[saradika-graphics]

✦ requests: open! ✨

— rules:

please review my masterlist & queue before requesting! I may have something for you to use right away, or coming up. I will not be fulfilling repeated requests

requests will be completed as I find time and inspiration

if there’s a request or theme/fandom I’m completely unfamiliar or uncomfy with (for any reason), that is rude, or that I feel I could not do justice - then I may pass on it

my goal is to create a library for everyone, so I am not taking username/blog or fic-specific requests right now

credit would be appreciated (ex. in your post, tags, or masterlist - either @saradika or @saradika-graphics or with an @/ is fine!)

do not edit or recolor without asking via DM

when requests close (status is noted in both my header & pinned), asks sent in after may be deleted

if you request something please reblog! 💕

thanks for reading!

[toastbutteregg]

[tjeme218]

I sure do hope that 25 is indeed funnier than 24 🥳

[tjeme218]

My date: “So you play the sims?”

Me: “Aha, yeah… I dabble.”

My game:

[tjeme218]

5 tumultuous years apart. It’s surreal to see these two bodies simultaneously. I’ve always considered these two versions of myself to be separate people. The experiences I’ve had, my expectations, the people I’ve surrounded myself with, the relationships I’ve been in, my mental state, my health, my concern for myself, etc. are so drastically dissimilar. Some of that comes with growing up and getting to know yourself better, but, in my experience, a majority of it has come from being seen differently in these two states.

If you asked me how I felt about being fit during the peak of that lifestyle, I probably would’ve told you how happy I was and how electrifying it was to finally be seen. If you asked me that same question two and a half years ago, I would’ve revealed the truth; I didn’t really like the person I was or the attention I garnered. I was not emotionally ready for what being fit would bring into my life or the relationships that resulted from it. I felt like an imposter, because, within that slender exterior, I was still an insecure, overweight girl who would do anything to be liked and fit in. If you asked me the same thing today, I’d tell you that I don’t know her. I’ve blocked out so much of that life because it’s never made sense to me. I was living through a jumbled mess of adulthood and all of the first experiences I should’ve had years before then. My identity was misconstrued: I was confused about who I truly was, angry that people liked the miniature version more, and saddened to have gained everything I’d been wanting at the expense of losing myself along the way.

No one warns you of the mental toll that a new body may take on you. There are all of these guides to help you lose weight/get fit, but none that teach you how to adjust from one mindset to another. No precursor or disclaimer that achieving your dream body might unlock worse problems within yourself. And there’s no way to know for sure until you’ve been through it.

So, like I said in the beginning, it’s been 5 tumultuous years. I’m not in love with either version of myself but I’m working on finding a healthy midpoint. I’m aiming for the sweet spot and one day I’ll get there. But for now, I’m okay with with where I’m at. I’ll likely feel differently in another 5 years. Only time will tell.

[tjeme218]

Some how, some way, we’ve made it here: the golden year. What a wonderful sight to see.

24, please be kind and patient. Let me learn to love myself, laugh more, and smile big. Allow me room for growth, love, and light. Show me compassion, fill me with strength, and, most of all, give me peace…